"Guy once told me..."

Guy once told me he was speeding on his motorcycle one night in the freezing cold and was almost caught by a police helicopter with an infra red camera. He said he ditched the copter by taking his coat off and cooling his body down to ambient temperature so the infra red camera couldn't see him.

I ignored the fact that he'd be dead if his body temp dropped that much and simply asked why they couldn't pick up the heat from the engine. He said infra red cameras only pick up heat from organic sources. At this point I decided against even trying to argue against any of the ridiculous points he was trying to make and just noped right out of the conversation.

Boxman75

"You should always..."

"You should always drive as fast as possible to get the best MPG. Driving twice as fast cuts your travel time in half and cuts your gas usage in half as well."

newrunnerman

"Why it's not cheaper..."

Why it's not cheaper to buy a new $1,200 phone on a 24 month payment plan than to fix a phone that's paid off with a broken screen. ($150)

BuckPucker420

"My coworker..."

My coworker thinks that police radar guns work by scanning cars to see how hot their engine is...

Because the faster you go, the hotter it will be, right?

I tried explaining how Doppler radar works, but she remains convinced that she's correct, because, and I quote "My husband has one of those radar guns and uses it when he's cooking on the grill."

Your husband has an infrared thermometer, you total nut.

ShoddyBiscotti1

"A guy..."

A guy I knew in high school insisted Hawaii was in the Gulf of Mexico because that's what it showed on the map. He even opened our textbook to show and then looked at me like I was an idiot. I just told him to educate everyone he could then.

daveyhh

"I just wanted to..."

Girl tried to convince me that she would lose her virginity if used tampons. I literally had to teach her the anatomy of the vagina/uterus and she said that if you retract the poop while taking a poop, it's "self oral sex."

I just wanted to kill myself after that.

dead_OwO

"I did not get credit..."

I did not get credit in a game of Trivial Pursuit for my guess of King Tutankhamun.. The "correct" answer was, yep you guessed it - King Tut. I was like 13 and we had just done an Egypt study in school. So, I was positive about being correct and pretty proud for knowing it.

Kcups

"In HS football..."

In HS football, the night before a game, we would get together and set goals for the game. Defense set the goal of >200 total yards of offense allowed. I corrected the > to a < to make it "less than 200 yards". They disagreed adamantly and kept the greater than. I was tutoring 4 of them in math at the time. They also hit their goal, more than 200 yards given up.

MTAlphaWolf

"A guy argued..."

A guy argued that a "baby grand" piano was for little children during their earliest piano lessons, saying "that's why they're called baby grands."

I explained that the term "baby grand" simply refers to the smallest size of a grand piano, about 4'5" long.

He just insisted that baby grands were for little children, and that's why they're called "baby grands."

Back2Bach

"He insisted..."

One of my college teachers gave us a test on computer hardware. One question was What is the most important part of any computer? It was multiple choice. CPU, memory, motherboard, PSU. I told him that the question made no sense. All of the parts are necessary, no one is most important. Without any one, the computer would not work.

He insisted that it was the CPU.

Nyawk