Anonymous People Reveal The Dumbest Lie They Ever Told That Someone Actually Believed
Did anybody believe it? It's natural for humans to lie to keep themselves out of trouble. It's an easy solution. Whether you're late for curfew, late on a paper, whatever-you've found the perfect excuse. Or not....
NineFeetUnderground asked Reddit:
And started out the lie parade with:
My German teacher was German, so if you corrected her English as a naive speaker, she'd just believe you and change her English accordingly.
For example, "Piece of paper? Don't you mean a slice of paper Miss?"
"Ah yes, of course, get yourself a slice of paper"
But the best was one day when we were doing advanced animal names in German. Someone asked her if there was an equivalent for the male names of certain animals like we have in English i.e. Tomcat, Billygoat, Jack Deer, etc.
Turned out she'd never hear any of those 3 before so I 'taught' her a whole list of fictional English Male Animal names varying from Boris Badger & Henry Hedgehog to Roger Turkey & Oliver Otter. Kudos to the class who backed up my deadpan delivery and laughed about it afterwards.
I thought nothing of it, but she took the list home & learnt every single one.
I got pulled out of the middle of a class 2 years later completely out of the blue and was given an absolute bollocking. Turned out she'd tried teaching the list to her class of 11 year olds who'd laughed her out of the class...
I convinced two colleagues that in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Taco Bell was selling tacos with pink taco shells, but in order to get them, you had to specifically ask for pink tacos.
Both of them went to Taco Bell, separately, and both of them returned to work screaming at me for making fools of them.
during a high school auditorium lecture on drugs, the lecturers on stage asked for questions. i raised my hand, and when called upon i asked, with my best pokerface, 'why do you get high when you eat three bananas and then drink a can of sprite really fast?' the lecturer had obviously never heard of that before, and i started hearing all around me 'does that work?. the answer to that is, you won't get high, but you will vomit.
needless to say, i had people coming up to me all day telling me that people have been throwing up all over the place. that s*** still makes me laugh
Convinced my friend that doing a headstand would get rid of her hangover. Nope.
That I was a professional bowler.
My entire class believed me.
When a peer asked why I gave it up to study, I looked them in the eye and told them "it gave up on me."
My dad bought a Prius when they first came out--the original one--and three of my friends had no clue what kind of car it was, so I told them that it had rockets instead of exhaust. Whenever my dad came to pick me up, they'd ask him to use the rockets. After we'd leave, he'd give a look like, "Son, you need to find some new friends."
I convinced my little sister that macaroni shells had hermit crabs living in them. She believed me for years. Even though shes older and knows it's a lie, she still can't eat macaroni shells.
Let's Get Down To Business
Half-Asian. I told a girl in college that I was a Hun.
"No, really! We had to retreat after the barbarian wars to a little valley in Romania. My parents came here in the 70s because Huns are discriminated against."
It just kept going and going. She asked everything about Hunnish ways. I talked about how I had to go hunting on my 8th birthday and drink the blood, the ruinously expensive village reunions for every wedding, the sword I had to leave at home because the dorm wouldn't let me bring it.
When I was in college I was an orientation leader for new international students (I was the only American in the group). At some event everyone was introducing themselves and where they were from. I picked a country at random and jokingly announced that I was from Finland. I didn't realize that this girl took me seriously until months later when she introduced me to someone else as an international student from Finland.
How Did This Get Believed
I convinced my good friend of 3 years that I weigh 250 lbs due to an incredibly rare bone density disease. Note: I'm 5'5" and actually weigh 135.
The Hazard Bird
My dad drove me and my little brother to the store and left us there while he went to get groceries. I was about twelve at the time, and my brother was about seven. We were both bored, playing I Spy in the parking lot and all, and my brother wanted to know what the hazard light on the car dashboard meant.
I told him that if he hit the hazard button, the Hazard Bird would come down from its roost and snatch him up and carry him away. I also told him that he could never bring this up to our father, because he'd lost a grandfather to the Hazard Bird, and was very sensitive to mentions of the Hazard Bird. My brother acted very careful to never mention the Hazard Bird when our dad got back in the car. He even looked kind of haunted.
My brother came to me last year and told me he'd figured out the whole Hazard Bird thing was a lie.
He was sixteen.
For about 10 glorious seconds, I made my girlfriend believe that Canada was named after the Geese.
You see, there are Canada geese in Europe, so I told that they'd always been called that, and they'd always been around.
Once explorers found Canada, the only thing they saw that looked familiar, were the geese, so of course they would name the new land after these geese, that were so like the ones found at home.
When I was in grade 2 there was a vicious bully in grade 5 who picked on me for no good reason. I came up with a plan to deal with him that sounds really ridiculous but it was pretty ingenious for a 7 year old kid. I intentionally peed my pants during recess and then told a teacher that this kid had urinated on me. Needless to say this got way out of hand and the principal expelled the kid. I didn't speak up because I didn't want to get in trouble so I went through with my lie. Plus I was secretly pleased that he got kicked out of school. It sounds pretty horrible but this kid was probably the most vicious adversary I've ever had.
Liquored Up Lies
That if you were drinking beer and you got really drunk, and then switched to spirits, the spirits would then 'reset' your drunkeness level because they were a different sort of thing.
That ended badly. Hilarious though.
I convinced my younger brother that the Discovery Channel was putting out a new reality show that was to be a companion to "Deadliest Catch" called "The Deadliest Harvest," where they chronicled the dangers and horrors of harvesting iceberg lettuce... from the icebergs they grow on.
That Glue Thing
In school I used to really like spreading Elmer's glue on my hand, letting it dry, and then peeling it off. (Who am I kidding...I still like doing this.) Anyway, one time a friend saw me peeling off the dried glue and asked me why my skin was peeling off. I told him it was a side-effect of being vegetarian. He believed me...we were in high school...
So one summer day, I go visit my Mexican aunt (my dad is Mexican, mom is white) who always gives me food to bring home to my family whenever I stop by. On this particular day, she gave me some home made salsa along with some sugar cookies. So I bring said salsa and cookies home and as I walk in the door my mom sees and asks, "watcha got there?"
I tell her for no reason at all, "these Mexican sugar cookies that you're supposed to eat with this salsa... weird right? It's some Mexican specialty."
"Oh goodie! Sounds exciting." She proceeds to grab a spoon, cookie and the salsa, pours a dab onto the cookie and is about to eat it. At this point I make the swift and decisive decision not to tell her I was kidding. She chewed and swallowed the whole thing, bless her soul. Needless to say, it did not taste good but she chalked it up as an acquired taste and to this day she doesn't know that the cookies and salsa were meant to be deliciously enjoyed apart from one another.
I also once convinced her a soccer field is a mile long.
Nobody Is Actually From Greenland
I managed to convince this girl I was originally from Greenland (I'm actually from Haiti). I just went on and on for like 20 minutes talking about how rough the winters were, and how my family finally decided to leave due to my grandfather's traumatic death.
So my grandfather was a hunter, so he'd go out fairly often, and, as any good Greenlander knows, we've got quite the problem with wolverines in Greenland. One snowy January night my grandfather was out when he heard a pack of wolverines. Being the outdoorsman that he was, he didn't panic, and calmly edged back towards our home. As he turned to go, the largest wolverine he'd ever seen stalked out towards him. After struggling with this beast for a while, he lost his left hand to animal's teeth. He managed to make it home alright, but the animal had the taste of man, and he was hungry for some more.
A year later, grandpa went out hunting, and he met the giant of a wolverine again, in the ensuing scuffle, he lost his gun, and suffered many wounds before dealing a fatal blow to his foe. The rest of the pack was scared off once my grandpa managed to reclaim his gun after the fight. So then he passed out from blood loss and froze to death, and was later eaten by the pack like a grand-sickle.
She actually believed me, too. She was one of the nicest people I know, so I felt bad and couldn't keep it up for long, but for about a week she believed I was Greenlandish and had lost my grandfather in a traumatic and badass way.
I had moved, as a 16-year-old Junior, from Alaska to California at the end of my Junior year. My new teachers, of course, decided to introduce me as "MizRenee from Alaska," and encouraged questions from my new classmates. To my abject horror, most of them were from purportedly intelligent students asking things like "did you have blow-dryers, curling irons, electricity, etc.," and the ever-popular "did you live in an igloo." I finally couldn't take it anymore, so when the igloo question popped up? I quite seriously looked at the class and said, "of course we lived in an igloo - a two-story one in fact, and the dog-sled igloo was attached too. Unfortunately, we turned the whale-oil heater up too high, and it melted both igloos, and, because it's April, the snow's no good this time of year for building another one, which is why I've moved down here."
I was appalled when Every. Single. Person. - including the teacher - believed me. No questions asked.
Second or third time I met her, I convinced the lady I am now dating that there really are blue raspberries. They grow in Cambodia, but you don't see them ever, because they spoil so fast that they have to be juiced right away, similar to guavas.
I came up with this on the spot when she asked if I "knew any interesting facts". After a little bit, I confessed there are no real blue raspberries and she punched me in the stomach. We'll have been dating for three years at the end of this month.
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
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The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.
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I'm going to be perfectly honest––I'm a city boy. I'm not a huge fan of hiking or camping. I happen to be a huge fan of running water. Have you heard of it? It's great. Highly recommended.
I've also, on a more humorous note, watched far too many horror films over the years and don't particularly like idea of running off into the woods only to piss off some demon that was perfectly fine until I arrived. I also have immense respect for our friendly neighborhood serial killers and demonstrate this regularly by staying out of their territory.
Those who love the great outdoors had plenty to share after Redditor Your_Normal_Loser asked the online community, "
Hikers of Reddit, what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you've come across while hiking?"
"The only reason..."
"When we were exploring the Australian Outback as university students, my friend and I found an old, tightly wrapped plastic bag with five or six damaged wallets along shrubbery at the base of a cliff.
The only reason we opened it up was because we were so remote - hundreds of kilometres from any town or tourist attraction - that it was strange to see garbage out there. All the cards were in female names and birthdates placed them in their late teens to early 20s. Some lived in the Northern Territory but one was in Sydney and another from Queensland. At the time we figured rock climbers must have stored their valuables in the bag and then lost track of it. I'll never forget the strange look the police officer gave us when we handed them in."
You see... this is why I wouldn't go mess around in the Australian Outback.
I also may or may not have watched Wolf Creek one too many times.
"A recliner on a small hill with a hole dug out in the middle and water bottles all over the place."
"A trashed campsite..."
"A trashed campsite complete with the tent cut open...
...do you report these things, or what?"
Or maybe not... you might want to turn back.
"The walls were completely plastered..."
"I was walking in a thick forest and came across an opening. In the center there was a shack made of lumber, with a bench built into it that was slightly leaned back.
The walls were completely plastered in porn."
Well... that's one way to get off.
"The man stopped talking..."
"I was backpacking with a few friends. A few days in the middle of nowhere, a man approached our camp as we were cooking dinner to say hi. We talked about our routes for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he told us that he had had a vasectomy in his 30s after his 2nd child. Then somehow his wife had gotten pregnant with his 3rd child. He didn't believe this was possible, so he demanded a DNA test to see if he was actually the father. He was. Still, he explained that he had his doubts and thought that his wife must have fixed the DNA test.
My friends and I were in our 20s and had no idea why this guy was telling us this. We all just nodded and smiled.
The man stopped talking and then just walked away into the night."
"I stepped in..."
"I stepped in and fell over a cow carcass on a night hike. It was a bright moonlit night but I didn't see it in the shadows. Thankfully it was mostly dry."
"We still have no idea..."
"I was in the woods with three friends at night. A friend's house was nearby and I was getting hungry so I went inside to find some food. Another friend came inside with me. Two friends were still outside.
Later on, one of the two who outside came in and sees the indoor friend on the couch next to me. They panic and immediately run back outside.
I poke my head out the door asking what's going on, only to hear them yell as loudly as they can, "THAT'S NOT KEVIN"
Everyone comes inside and calms down a bit, and the story comes out. They thought the friend who was indoors with me (Kevin) had been outside with them this entire time. Why? Because in the darkness of the woods they saw a silhouette about the same height walking alongside them silently, then at some point it ran away and they were chasing it thinking Kevin was running off for some reason. The reason my friend yelled, "That's not Kevin" was to stop the last outdoor friend from chasing whoever was out there deeper into the woods.
We still have no idea who that was or why they didn't even speak."
This story sent a chill running down my spine.
Who was that?!
Perhaps figuring it out would be even scarier.
"Went hiking with my dad..."
"Went hiking with my dad one day over a ridge. A girl from the group in front of us tripped and slid down one side and was just able to hold on to the tiniest branch from the only tree around. Had she slid down all the way she certainly would be dead or massively injured!"
"I was trying to make my way across..."
"I was hiking in Washington sometime in December. I was trying to make my way across a river but the bridge was out. I was walking along the shore looking for a shallow spot but couldn't find one. I saw some footprints leading down the bank, my thought was that someone was trying to do what I was doing and decided to track the prints to see if they crossed. It was not easy but I followed the prints for about a mile. As I approached what looked like a crossing I heard a loud BANG like a stick hitting a tree. I froze for a few seconds and heard no other noises. I just slowly back up keeping my eyes on the other side of the river. Could not shake the feeling that I was being watched. Got the hell out of there quick as I could."
There are few feelings creepier than the feeling of being watched. It makes you feel like you've been violated in some way.
Thankfully you got out of there!
"I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment..."
"I was hiking with some friends, and I saw a cluster of butterflies on the ground. I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment until I realized they were congregating on a pool of blood. It turns out that someone had been hiking on the bluffs above earlier that day, and had fallen off and died."
Sooo... still want to go hiking or camping? None of this changed your mind? None of it?
It was nice knowing you. I'll stick with my running water.
Have some creepy stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Have some experiences of your own? Have you also survived the hospitality industry? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!
Time is of the essence. And time is not definable. Those are lessons we learn as we get older; as times passes and fluctuates in front of us.
Time is always fleeting yet always catches up to us. I find myself shocked when I wake up on certain days and realize I'm a particular age of my parent that sticks out for me.
Like, how did that happen? I guess I should just be thankful I'm still here to witness it all.
Redditor u/TW1103 wanted to discuss the meaning... of time and all of its affects by asking:
What fact really puts the scale of time into an insane perspective?
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy
"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV TimeSeason 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy
"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Storywilliam shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy
"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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