Optimus Prime can open doors.
This seems perfectly reasonable if you're talking about Optimus Prime the leader of the Autobots and possibly the greatest Transformer to ever transform.
But I'm talking about Optimus Prime, my 90 lb rescue pit bull who likes to break into neighbors homes.
Reddit user AngusGibsonT asked:
" Pet owners of Reddit, what's the quickest you've gone from 'My sweet furry angel' to 'Why are you doing this, you goddamn goblin?' "
When we adopted Optimus Prime, we had no idea he knew this little trick until he let himself out of our house and INTO a neighbor's home down the street.
They were polite ("Um, hi, it seems we have one more pit bull in our living room than we did a few minutes ago. Are you missing someone?") and he isn't aggressive—but anything can happen out there and it's my responsibility as his person to keep him safe.
He's not safe letting himself into and out of rooms, houses and buildings.
Mr. Prime is a stunningly gorgeous boy who loves his cuddles and doesn't understand personal space—do any bully breeds? Why do they need to be snuggled constantly?
But he is also a monster who lets himself out of our house, the vets office, friends places, the car and pretty much anywhere else.
Flat handles, round handles, pocket doors, child locks, kennels—none of it matters. Only a deadbolt has foiled him, so now our front door stays deadbolted.
The thing is, he doesn't DO anything once he opens the doors. He just opens them and stands there, sometimes across the threshold so you can't close it again.
Aside from the time he visited the neighbors, he mostly just seems to have a thing against closed doors. There's no panic, there's just typical bully refusal to leave something alone.
So me and 'Houdini The House Manatee' (he's enormous, grey, and lazy) spend the day playing passive-aggressive games. He walks around opening the doors and just standing in the doorway. I spend the day closing the doors he opens 'cause we live in Florida and mosquitos.
Optimus isn't the only pet wreaking havoc.
Pet owners of Reddit absolutely do not have it together and it makes me feel a little better about myself, honestly.
Rabbit Becomes Man, Man Becomes Pest
"I have raised two rabbits from birth. They're half-siblings with the same father; a boy and girl."
"Girl has always been shy and sweet. And so was boy …up until his testicles dropped."
"My boy became a man overnight, and not a good one."
"Up until his appointment for neutering came, he became the devil incarnate. Honking, running around in circles, pissing all over his toys. All toilet training completely forgotten. Biting us. Growling. Scratching. Wiping his tic-tac on anything fabric. Destroying anything in his path."
"We lined a Perspex storage box with hay that we used as 'horny jail' - a time out zone, if you like, to sit think about what he’d done."
"He’s still a little bruiser by nature, but after his surgery he calmed down immensely, especially once his sister was spayed as well."
"On the day they were reunited, I held my breath as they sniffed and chased. But they re-bonded successfully and are inseparable. He’s so protective of his sister and grooms her regularly."
"He’s smaller than his sister, and I think he just has Little Man Syndrome half the time. I wouldn’t have him any other way"
"Tldr; Boy rabbit becomes man. Man becomes pest. Pest has his balls cut off. Pest calms down and becomes a loving brother. I love him."
- LexiRae24
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The Dogs Plan
"Had a pit when I was in my early 20s."
"I went through some crap and ended up pretty much homeless. I did have a hotel room for a few months, which made me feel grateful to no be on the street."
"My job at the time was crap pay for sh*t work."
"I was down to my last few dollars and bought some chicken nuggets for myself and got my dog his food, because I'd rather barely eat than to see him hungry. Chicken nuggets wouldn't fill me, but it would be SOMETHING and he could eat too."
"For the first time ever, out of nowhere, he jumped on the table and ate my chicken nuggets. I didn't even have enough money for a single pack of ramen."
"I was so mad I yelled and screamed at him and he took off running out the door."
"He was gone almost 3 full days till some old man came walking towards the hotel with my dog on a leash. He came to my door and said he'd seen me letting the dog out before and found him behind his garage."
"We chatted a while and I ended up sharing my struggle story with the old man. The next day I get a call in the hotel room phone with a job offer making almost 16 an hour."
"Old man owned a small construction business and created a position of 'Site Cleaner' for me. I just picked up trash and swept floors after drywallers and electricians etc."
"My first check had a bonus on it labeled 'down payment for apartment.' I still think the dog had his own plan."
- phatkidd76
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My Husbands Cat
"My husband's cat loves him, and only him, unreasonably."
"It's adorable. He's her person and she gets jealous if he's snuggling me instead of her. We're on the couch and he puts his arm around me? She'll squirm her way onto his lap and just stare at me. So that's pretty cute."
"The problem is that when he goes away, she cannot handle it at all."
"This critter goes through the stages of grief, every time. One day of denial (she hangs out on his office chair and generally behaves normally)."
"Two or so days of bargaining (she climbs on my lap, apparently hoping that if she acts real cute, I'll turn into my husband?)"
"Three days of depression (she hides under his desk and only comes out to eat at night.)"
"Finally, she hits anger. She waits until I clean the litter box, and have gone outside to throw the poo out. Then, she SH*TS ON THE FLOOR."
"This lasts anywhere from one to seven days and does not end until my husband returns. She never progresses to the acceptance stage."
"OH BUT IT GETS BETTER. It all ends when my husband finally gets home."
"This ungrateful sh*tgoblin sees him walk in the door, looks me dead in the eye, and strolls into the litter box like she hasn't just spent the last week tormenting me."
"I get it. It's absolutely separation anxiety. Poor goblin."
"We have tried Feliway, but I'm allergic to it. So we set her up in my husband's office overnight (food, water, litter, and privacy from my rambunctious cats) and make sure he leaves some unwashed shirts for her to snuggle."
"She's only got one eye and doesn't hear well so I think it helps her feel safer. But nothing will satisfy her until her person returns."
- WavePetunias
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Rabbits Can Climb?
"When my then 18 month old, ball of attitude with fluff on it house rabbit bit through my laptop cable while it was plugged in, then proceeded to get angry with the cable and kept biting it because it was biting him back."
"I got home to a totally destroyed cable and a rabbit who had nothing but a minor stomach problem for a few days."
"Everything was on top of a table - including the outlet! I didn't know the little bastard could CLIMB to reach the top of it. Did you know rabbits can climb? BECAUSE I DIDN'T."
"There's no way he could have jumped on stuff to get up there. He literally had to calculate a route and CLIMB."
"All accessible cables are now fully armoured and I check everything for potential bunny access, no matter how improbable."
"He's ridiculously lucky to be alive. He's 6 in July."
"He's a total prick. But I love him."
.- CrazyPlatypusLady
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Brownie Time
"My German Shepard."
"Wife decided to make brownies in a glass pan. After they had cooled down, we put them back in the oven to eat after we went to go pick up dinner."
"Well, we came back to an open stove, dog diarrhea mixed with vomit all over the house, and my dog laying in the center of the living room - hyperventilating."
"Old boy had used a tea towel we had hanging over the handle to pull the stove open, and decided to eat the brownies, glass pan and all! He must have pulled the pan out and eaten the brownie - and half the shattered glass pan."
"Thankfully this was 22 years ago and I had access to a military vet so it 'only' cost $1200 for the surgery he needed to have the vet remove glass out of dummy’s stomach."
"He lived for another 10 years."
- Hardheaded_Hunter
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Menace To Society
"I am constantly flip flopping between the two"
"My cat is adorable and I love her. But god damn she is just... she's a f*cking menace to society, honestly."
"Cat outside the window? Gotta try and murder it through the window and then maul mom for a week when I can't. Why? Because yes, that's why."
"New furniture in the house or old furniture being disposed of? I am now angry, let the mauling commence once more. For an entire week."
"Something left on a table? I must knock it off the table."
"Same item now put in a deep cubby to prevent me from being an asshole? I must claw my way into the cubby, and then knock it on the floor again."
"Too close to the cat tree for too long? Time to slap."
"Hold her for a second too long after she bawled around the house with her toy in her mouth demanding cuddles? Time to maul."
"There's a box outside? or a bag? Time to attack the window until it's investigated by someone, and then it's time to maul mom for a week about it."
"I don't know why she feels the need to be a spicy lil sh*t. It's a good thing I named her Pepper, I guess."
- GenjisWife
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Chinchilla Love
"My chinchilla goes from 'sweet innocent fluffball who just wants some treats and pets' to 'horny little bastard' real quick."
"I’ll just be sitting with him giving him pets and he’ll try to hump my foot. Or the blanket. Or a pillow. Or a stuffed animal. Or my knee."
"Honestly, any nearby semi-soft thing is in danger of being humped."
"He’s also jizzed on his vet. More than once."
"The vet never seems shocked by it, though. Male chinchillas don't normally get neutered since it's risky for them. It's usually only done if there's a medical reason for it, so this must happen pretty regularly."
- whateverimtootired
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Gag-Crying
"I had a really well-behaved blind foster dog."
"I was very sick one night and put him to bed in his kennel (which he loves) earlier than normal. I slept later than normal too since I felt so horrible."
"I woke up expecting him to have had an accident and was so proud he hadn't pooped anywhere since I'd left him in there so long."
"That is, until I brought him out of his kennel and he chugged an entire bowl of water and then threw up. Turns out he had pooped, but then eaten it and now vomited watery poop all over my doormat."
"Since he'd drank so much water, it spread all over my floor. Cue me gag-crying with a bottle of 409 and paper towels."
"I didn't blame him, obviously."
- astrosergeant
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Merry Christmas
"When one of my cats was still a kitten, she would climb the Christmas tree. We thought it was funny and didn't really mind that much because she wasn't big enough to knock it over or really cause any damage."
"Until she decided to open her mouth as wide as possible to bite a FREAKIN GLASS ORNAMENT and then it basically got stuck in her wide open mouth."
"My husband and I were both freaking out and trying to get it out of her mouth, and then the GLASS ORNAMENT BROKE IN HER MOUTH. Shockingly, she was perfectly fine and somehow didn't cut her mouth but it was the most ridiculous and terrifying thing I've had a pet do."
"Our Christmas ornaments are all made of plastic now because of this."
- beloved_wolf
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Under Two Feet Of Snow
"My dog loved snow. I love snow."
"The first time I ever got to take him out in a proper blizzard in NYC was so exciting. It dumped so hard so fast, I had never seen anything like it. I had to take him out for a walk."
"He was beside himself, hopping in and out of deep drifts like a juiced up rabbit, completely disappearing beneath the surface and re-emerging a few feet away, crazed. So pure, so playful. That’s my boy."
"It was late at night in Brooklyn, streets were empty."
"I took him into a fenced-in basketball court up the street from my apartment. Pristine, untouched snow. I let him off leash to go absolutely nuts in the stuff. I stood by the gate beaming as he dashed and darted and dived."
"Within seconds he made a bee-line to the far corner where he began rolling around, fixated. I knew that roll. The roll reserved for smelly things."
"By the time I sprinted to the far end of the court he was covered, head to tail, in soft wet human feces. Someone, at some point before the storm, literally sprayed an ungodly amount of diarrhea shit in the corner of that court and despite being buried under two feet of snow, my dog immediately clocked it and bathed in it."
"It was matted so deep in his fur I spent over 6 hours cleaning him and the mess in my apartment that night. And still had to call a cleaning service and air out the stench for days and days in the dead of winter."
"Dogs, man..."
- MEEfO
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"The Sweetest Psychopath"
"Pretty much everything."
"I adopted her at two years old, some sort of pitt mix, and the vet pegged her perfectly. She said 'she's the sweetest psychopath we will ever meet.' "
"She's so lovable and loving, but has such a strong prey drive and fear of the unknown. Poor girl. I love her and hate her every f*cking day."
- Gotforgot
Steve
"One time when I was doing homework at the kitchen table, my puppy (Steve, who it now 5 I believe?) was just chilling under the table."
"Suddenly, I hear gagging noises. I look under the table with my mom to see what is happening."
"That a-hole throws up a whole sock! Then just acts like nothing happened."
- Alyvent
Bless You
"My cat came up and was purring and giving me little kitty kisses as I was eating my birthday breakfast."
"Then he sneezed in my open mouth and on the bite of food I was bringing to it."
- PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD_PET
Groggy Gribble
"Wasn’t there to experience it, but when my dad took our new kitten to get neutered, he warned the vet that he was quite the little bastard."
"He explained that he will bite, claw, scratch, & draw blood from anyone he felt even slightly intimidated by. The vet (obviously) said it was fine, & that they see cats much worse all the time. In fact, Gribble (my cat) was completely calm after leaving the kennel."
"My dad brushed it off & chalked it up to the vet being good at his job."
"When my dad returned to pick Gribble up, the vet had his arm stretched out as far as possible while holding Gribble by his neck & cautiously approaching my dad."
"Apparently, after the grogginess wore off, Gribble went absolutely batshit on the vet & his assistants, leaving decent sized marks to prove it. All the vet had to say was, 'Well, I can see what you meant earlier.' ”
- beccabitesback
Lizard Puppy
"I have an Argentine blue Tegu I adopted after his original owner passed away."
"For those of you who don't know Tegus are often called 'lizard puppies' by the internet and for good reason. They're affectionate, Intelligent, and all around very personable large lizards with one exception."
"Anywhere between 10 months to 2 years or so when tegus hit puberty they enter a brief but violent stage of growth that tegu owners affectionately call 'guberty'."
"During this stage they literally act how you'd expect a raging, hormonal teenager to act and become Satan incarnate. They will lunge at and bite anything that moves and seemingly overnight transform into a vengeful God of hatred trapped in a little scaley package no matter how much they bonded with you before."
"My boy went from being a sweet, beautifully socialized little man into a emo teenager who didn't just threaten you with dark poetry and blasting Black Sabbath in his room all day; he had a powerful bite and tail to back up the threats."
"There was an extra twist to his behavior I didn't quite expect though. Apparently during this time male lizards can also get extremely horny; especially if their owners are female."
"Instead of lunging at me with pure adolescent hatred my little man had other intentions when he attempted to latch onto my leg or arm."
"He rubbed his ass on everything to leave his scent, would come running at me full tilt, and I had to wear shoes when I was in the house or he would attack my feet, rip off the sock, and steal it so he could attempt to violate it."
"I gave him a stuffed turkey so that he could take out his horniness on that instead of trying to latch onto my arm or leg."
"Did I mention tegus have powerful jaws? Because they do, and honestly I'm lucky the bites I got were the gentler amorous kind."
"I saw his gross little winky far too many times that summer. I would have preferred he just hated me like a normal lizard but no. I had a 6 lb horny lizard, instead."
"Thankfully my boy got through 'guberty' and is back to his sweet self and giving me an appropriate level of affection when I take him out every day to roam my house."
"I know his previous owner would have laughed his ass off at the ordeal."
- Alternative_Many_614
Smacking A Service Dog
"I have PTSD and a service dog. He is my second, after my first lovely lady retired (but never stopped working) and then passed on."
"This isn't about him, but does involve him. This is about my cat."
"I've had this cat for almost as long as I've had a service dog and my working theory is that he learned from my first that he could do something to help me when I needed help."
"It's wonderful having two animals who are so attentive to my needs. It's not so wonderful for one of them to be possessive over the ability to do things for me."
"Sometimes, when I need help and my cat has gotten to me first (usually because he can be up on my desk/table/etc while my dog is next to me on the ground) my cat will get prickly with my dog and be like, 'I GOT THIS. Jeez, leave off! I got it this time!' and slap him in the face with his paw when he too tries to help."
"and my poor dog is like, 'but it's my job. I need to do job for human. I can't leave! I HAVE JOB.' "
"My previous service dog was pretty good at rolling with this and let him help me while squishing against my back safely away from kitty paws."
"My current service dog has not puzzled this out yet and will keep trying to help from the front and keep getting bapped in the face for his troubles."
"Fortunately, I can ask my dog to go fetch something for me (meds, sweat shirt, what have you) so he can still do something for me even if he isn't immediately doing the getting-all-up-in-my-bzns thing he's trained to do."
"This isn't every time. My cat hovers nearby if my dog gets to me first, which is usually."
"On occasion, he will come over and try to take over if he thinks my dog isn't doing a good enough job, which involves smacking my dog to get him out of the way."
"This is very rare, and seems to happen less and less as my cat gets older. My guess is he is grudgingly deeming my dog is doing a better job than he initially thought."
- FaustianPacts
Now, because I'm the kind of writer who knows what the people really want—here's a picture of Optimus. Specifically, a picture of him gorgeously basking in the light of a door he just opened.
Dog tax paid, dear readers.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.