People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts Of Depression
Anthony Tran on Unsplash

Depression, anxiety, PTSD, sadness, trauma... it's haunting many of us.

Even those of us loathe to admit it.

But we have to talk about it.

You are not alone.

Let's talk about the sadness.


Redditor shadster23 wanted to hear from everyone who was willing to talk about their relationships with depression.

They asked:

"What's the worst part of depression?"

Depression sucks.

It makes me lethargic and constantly second guess myself.

You?

HELP!

"How insanely hard it is to get help. You have to advocate for yourself a lot and you just can’t even. If your doctor is dismissive of your concerns, you have to make her listen. If your therapist isn’t a good fit you have to try to find another one at a time when picking up the phone to order a pizza is even too much."

"Don’t have insurance and can’t afford a therapist? Maybe you can get a job with better insurance with all that energy that you don’t have. It’s like your leg is broken and you have to climb a mountain to get to the hospital to get it fixed." ~ baxbooch

Everything...

"Everything becomes heavier. Every single thing." ~ Leftwordrightward

"It's like you're covered in tar or something. Even your tongue, it's hard to talk. Everything is in slow motion. Even taking a shower is exhausting. I only want to sleep, I call it hibernation. At least when I'm manic I have medicine I can take to calm it down a notch but I have nothing in my arsenal for a depression. Currently having a hard time." ~ ninazo96

Failure to live up to...

"The guilt. Guilt over not getting things done. Guilt because I feel like I'm letting others down. Guilt for not being fully present for the people I love." ~ godrainlovemusic

"Was looking for this one. It's something I still struggle to get used to. At this point, I understand and can live with myself and my faults but what hasn't changed is how I affect others. Failure to live up to expectations creates a crumbling cycle I struggle to break out of, which affected me at home, in school, at work, in my relationships, and with new friends."

"When the clouds roll in, I just can't be the person I want to be for others. It's so tiring to try and explain something that, until one point in my life, was impossible for me to understand and verbalize. Either people give you the benefit of the doubt or just simply don't understand."

"All the people close to me and look up to are the people that gave me that second thought instead of writing me off as unreliable, uncaring, uninterested, or lazy. Everyone else thinks your apologies are empty. It's hard to blame them, but they simply don't get the whole story." ~ _Maximilien

Gee thanks a lot...

"Knowing that you’re in a depression and being physically and mentally unable to do anything about it." ~ coldforkii

"I tried to see a psychologist for therapy and a psychiatrist to try new meds. The next available appointments were in 9 months. I was advised to go to the er if I couldn't wait. Gee thanks a lot."~ kearlysue

HERE

"The forgetfulness and lethargy. I'm so done with it but... here am I am." ~ solstice_gilder

"Ugh. The amount of times my fiancé had to grab me and sit me on the sofa because I'd wander around our flat like a ghost forgetting what I should be doing. But according to my mother this is 'normal.' No mother, a one off thing is normal, weeks/months lasting forgetfulness and lack of attention is not." ~ Maybe_too_honest_

So much to discuss.

So much in common.

Bad thoughts...

"When being suicidal stops being scary and starts being just another part of life. I should eat something, I want to die, I need to take a shower, I should go for a walk, I wonder whether I could jump in front of a car, I need to do the dishes, that new show looks fun, I should stab myself with a kitchen knife. At some point, it gets hard to remember a life without depression is even possible." ~ LMaster37

You literally just lose yourself.

"The complete loss of who you are. You remember having a personality, hobbies, pretty much any desire to do anything. And then it’s just gone. You don’t want to talk to anyone, you don’t even want to get up and use the bathroom."

"You could lay in bed for hours and not even notice because your brain has just completely and totally shut down on you. It is isolating and exhausting to experience, and all the while you’re blaming yourself for being so useless and pathetic. You literally just lose yourself."

"I feel compelled to add: depression doesn’t manifest the same for everyone. If you feel like you need help, there are resources available. It is possible to improve and find yourself." ~ ghostdogtheconquerer

"break through"

"It can be self sustaining. You feel depressed so you withdraw. Withdrawing makes you feel depressed."

"Can get stuck in a never-ending cycle." ~ Vegaman11998823

"To add to that, sometimes you 'break through' and everything feels clear and normal."

"But that can make you look back at all the time and opportunities that you wasted by being withdrawn. Even the act of withdrawing seems juvenile and pointless in retrospect in those clear moments."

"But of course during the act of withdrawal, there seems to be no other rational or emotionally-acceptable option." ~ ArchetypeFTW

Bored Now

"Not being interested in anything. Nothing grabs your attention. Everything is boring, but you know it would probably be good for you to do it, but it's just too big a mountain to climb, being interested." ~ edgarpickle

"Lonely, bored, disinterested, and ashamed about it. I can’t muster an interest in anything. I don’t care to do things. I don’t have hobbies, resulting in me being boring."

"I bore myself; how am I supposed to attract other people with nothing to talk about? It’s awful not being able to enrich your life for lack of interest. It’s so boring." ~ Ok_Professional4902

"There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week."

"Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health." ~ AskRedditModerators

Please don't be afraid of it.

It can get better.

Reach out.

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/


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