People.... DON'T BE AN AMY COOPER!!! Stop calling the police for stupid reasons. Now this is a comical piece and there are several sidesplitting situations you will read about, but, be more responsible.
With that being said, the results can often be staggering in hilarity with idiocy is ringing.
Redditor u/GenjiKat wanted to know what 911 dispatchers have to deal with on the regular that make them want to pull their hair out by asking.... 911/999 dispatch, what's the dumbest reason someone has called?
Little old lady would call every morning to ask what the weather was like outside. No matter how many times we told her to stop.
A grown man wanted to press charges against someone who flipped him off while driving. beautnight
When they released our city's stupidest 911 calls a few years ago, this was one:
There's a deer in my yard. (A weekly occurrence here)
What is it doing?
It's looking at me. Not_A_Wendigo
it was hilarious.....
Not a dispatcher, but firefighter. We were called out to a residence one very frosty morning mid winter during a very long cold snap... because the homeowner couldn't open his front door and was unable to get out to get to work. We drove up, I got out, ready to force the door open, but tried it first. It opened with minimal effort (frozen a bit). I opened the door and called out "Fire department. Did you still need us?" He was so embarrassed and it was hilarious. gorammitMal
A guy called because an injured bear was in his front yard for "a few hours." It was a giant landscaping boulder that had been there for years. oneofthesesigns
I was doing IT work at a dispatch center when a 911 call came in from a woman who said that she came home and heard a burglar upstairs. This was in a small town that doesn't get much crime. The town sent 5 of their own cops plus they requested mutual aid from two neighboring towns.
A total of about 10 officers cordoned off the area and set up a perimeter. Cops went into the house looking for the burglar.
They found that the noise was caused by a ROOMBA that got trapped in a closet. The vacuum was banging against the walls and the closet door trying to escape.
No arrests were made that day. Fortunately, no one was injured, either. dartdoug
She got shampoo in her eye while showering. She rinsed it out, and her vision was unaffected, but it, like, really stung for a minute. She was 27 and could not be talked out of having paramedics dispatched. When the medics got there, they couldn't talk her out of going to the hospital.
She was fine, at least until she got word from her insurance company that they weren't going to pay for her "frivolous and unnecessary" ambulance ride. jemmo_
Not a Taxi....Giphy
There are apparently multiple people each month who think they can call the emergency number asking for the police to give them a ride home because they got plastered at a bar and don't want to drink & drive. ConstableBlimeyChips
Finding the Pro.
I had a guy call 911 and wanted to report that a woman had stolen his money. We were swamped that night so I kept him on the line trying to get further information. Upon asking a few more questions about the woman and her description it was obvious he was describing a sex worker.
He then began to cry and begged me to not judge him for hiring a sex worker. I promised him I wouldn't judge him and I would send him an officer as soon as we had one available. He hung up and I pended the call as the woman was no longer on scene. He called back on 911 less than a minute later and proceeded to want to talk about his hiring her until officers arrived.
My partner and I continued to pick up his call after we had to place him on hold several times to take other 911 calls during the 15 minute period it took for officers to get to him. He ended up getting arrested for disorderly conduct that night as he was extremely intoxicated and decided he wanted to have a go at the officers when they arrived. cycleindiana
Because their electricity went out and they wanted the police to fix it. Then got upset when I told them they needed to call their power company.
I've also had someone call because their neighbors tree was dropping leaves into their yard and they wanted the neighbor to clean it up.
And one of the funniest/most ridiculous: because someone's automatic sprinklers turned on while they were walking their dog and they got wet. Wanted to press assault charges.
People call for the most PETTY things ever. I would always have them call back on the non-emergency line as soon as they told me the ridiculousness. 911 is for emergencies only boys and girls! knewfonewhodis
Find the Birds.Giphy
I will never forget that brief period in early 2018 when KFC ran out of chicken and police in the UK received so many calls about it that they had to put out a notice asking people to stop. PoundshopPrincessJas
"He was so embarrassed..."
Not a dispather, but firefighter. We were called out to a residence one very frosty morning mid winter during a very long cold snap...because the homeowner couldn't open his front door and was unable to get out to get to work. We drove up, I got out, ready to force the door open, but tried it first. It opened with minimal effort (frozen a bit). I opened the door and called out "Fire department. Did you still need us?" He was so embarassed and it was hilarious.
- Elderly male was trying to scoop poop out of his constipated wife's bhole and made it bleed. Had to instruct the caller to not try to scoop anything else out of the patients bhole.
- Caller advised someone dead in her front driveway. Asked for an approximate age, said 40-50 year old male. Arrived on scene to find her pet deceased in the driveway. (No wonder she declined CPR)
- "Drunk falcon". Caller reported someone stumbling into the roadway possible drunk. Asking for a description of "him" as the caller told us, and he said brown. (??) To clarify, African American or Hispanic? Caller said.. "uh I'm not sure, light brown? I mean it's a falcon so the normal falcon brown?" I could go on, but honestly every day gets weirder and weirder.
"I once had a woman..."
Medical dispatcher here:
I once had a woman call for an ambulance because her daughter got her hand stuck between the mattress and the wall and she couldn't pull it out or lift the mattress.
I once had a man call because his 13yo daughter had vaginal bleeding. It was her period. Not even her first. He called without telling the daughter or the mom - who had primary custody and had the daughter at HER house at the time.
I once had a woman call because she choked on her food - a "down the wrong pipe" situation - and requested I stay on the line with her until the ambulance arrived because she was scared. She asked me "Do you think I could still be choking?"
I once had a woman call because she thought she felt a lump in her breast and wanted to go to the ER. We're not allowed to tell people to make an appointment with their doctor in the morning, so I sent an ambulance. The kicker: she lived 1 block down from the hospital. She could've walked and saved a lot of money.
"I had a woman..."
I had a woman recently call in upset that a cashier wouldn't cash her lottery tickets after asking her to leave repeatedly.
"He was advised..."
911 call with the reporting party saying there is a jellyfish stranded on the beach. He was advised not to touch it and asked if anyone needed medical assistance that had been stung. No, he wanted someone to come SAVE THE JELLYFISH. I explained that it was a natural phenomenon and that neither Animal Control nor the Marine Mammal Center will respond for that. He screamed at me that I was an animal hater until I had to disconnect.
I have a cousin who is a 911 dispatcher, his first ever call, a woman called to get the phone number of one of the cops who had recently been to her house because she hadn't had sex in over a month and thought he was hot.
"Some dude called us..."
Some dude called us to make a "serious complaint" i asked him what was the problem and he said "They gave me like a medium size worth of fries and I asked for large" I was confused and I asked if this was a prank call. He said no. Dude was really pissed of that he didn't get all his fries.
"I could list off calls..."
I could list off calls all day. Been a dispatcher for 4 years now and I honestly thought maybe 25% of calls would be something pressing when someone called 911. I was very wrong. Maybe 2% on a good day. On 5 different occasions I've had people want us to check the area around their house because "my dog is barking and he never barks." When asked if they saw or heard anything they say no. So we go and patrol the area 100% based on a dog hunch.
"She was called..."
Not me personally, but a friend of mine who works as a call dispatcher. She was called just this week by an adult male wanting the police because his neighbour trimmed his hedges over the property line.
Needless to say they didn't pay him a visit.
"A man calls..."
A man calls about domestic violence but when the police arrived he answered the door with a bowl of spaghetti dumped on his head. He and his wife had gotten into a (food) fight. Some of the other casualties were the cesar salad which was dumped on the wife's head and some garlic bread that she used to hit her husband.
A man could not..."
A man could not get through the Capatcha to request an Uber. He may have been a robot.
When my wife and I were new parents we called poison control because our daughter, who had just started crawling, ate a grasshopper. (Half a grasshopper, actually.)
The operator was laughing so hard she could barely talk. Put us on speaker phone with a whole room full of laughing people. They reassured us by pointing out that this is a delicacy in some cultures. Said it was good with honey.
It became a family joke. "Remember the time she ate a grasshopper?" "No, it was just half a grasshopper." All laugh. She glares at us.
My mom was a dispatcher when I was really young and they would always get 911 calls of when will the fireworks start for 4th of July, the summer festival and any sort of event with fireworks.
"Chicken by the coffee pot."
The neighborhood we lived in had random stray chickens. (Word on the street was someone was trying to run a chicken fighting ring and the chickens rebelled and escaped, thus creating a slew of stray chickens running amuck. I don't buy it though.) One was actually roosting in my backyard for five days without my dogs noticing... anyway...
My husband is a police officer in the next town over. One day he called me laughing, because he heard through his dispatch radio that our neighbor called 911 because a chicken had broken into their house and was sitting next to their coffee pot.
"She didn't throw away..."
Because her husband yelled at her. She didn't throw away an empty bottle of shampoo. They were both inebriated and eventually, he got on the line too and started explaining that she's messy. I dispatched an officer right away, because not on my watch Kidding. Kidding! But an officer did go out! Lol it was a small country town.
"I'm gonna add..."
I'm gonna add to the stuff stuck up the butt. I didn't take the call but I got to listen to the recording right after my coworker took the call. Guy calls in asking for an ambulance saying he has a fever that won't go away after a couple of days. In cases like this we try to get a little further just in case it's more serious, although it's not uncommon to dispatch for a fever. He sounds fine, completely coherent. He is being really sketchy about explaining his circumstances. After a brief pause he goes "I got something stuck up my butt a few days ago and I can't get it out. Ok, I said it!" My coworker did everything in her power to keep it professional.
Oh, and I was just mocked and chewed out by a caller because we weren't helping him fast enough. Something to do with his neighbor neglecting her dog. He's been standing in his driveway for an hour even though he just called us 10 minutes ago...
"There was a spout..."
There was a spout of people calling 911 because their order was wrong from a fast food place.
"She had a lady..."
My sister worked dispatch. She had a lady call 911 because her neighbours filled there pool and she thought it was too full. When the neighbours jumped in the pool some of the water would splash out and the caller though some water would go on to her property. My sister told her that this isn't an emergency. The lady replied by screaming "But I have a dinner party tonight!". No cops were sent.
"A guy who phoned..."
I was a 999 operator for an ambulance service in the UK. I have had:
*Idiots calling 999 just to wish us happy Christmas or happy new year with no consideration that they are blocking lines for genuine emergencies.
*People phoning to chat because they feel lonely.
*A guy who phoned 999 EVERY NIGHT to say he was having a heart attack but actually just had anxiety. This is actually not an uncommon issue.
*A couple who would phone 999 regularly to tell us that their partner was unconscious and not breathing despite hearing the partner talking in the background...
*People ringing 999 to ask for an emergency ambulance for their pet cat that had been run over.
"A woman called..."
A woman called DEMANDING that her extensive criminal record be wiped.
"Had a call come in..."
Had a call come in once from a man reporting that his ex had broken into his flat and tried to murder him.
What had actually happened was that the ex (who still lived at the property) had come in using her key and opened a window because it was over 35°c (95°f) in the flat. He thought she was trying to kill him by giving him hypothermia. On the hottest night of the year.
"A family member..."
A family member who works dispatch told me they had a call:
"Someone threw a hot dog at me."
Guy calls 999 and asks for police, somone has put cardboard beside their oil tank and I think it's going to explode! Come quick!. Sorry sir, is there a fire? No it's a fire hazard. Ok well if a fire breaks out it isnt the cardboard that you need to worry about and from my recollection cardboard doesn't just spontaneously combust.
Another was, I just poured some oil down a drain buy mistake send police now! Ok sir, this isnt really a police matter. Contact the water service. But I need the police Would you like me to come arrest the oil sir?
"Have a fungal growth..."
Paramedic, but I think I qualify, and there's a few from offer the years. Have writer's block, can't sleep. Have a fungal growth on my scrotum (proceeds to show me despite my protestations). Was stuck in an elevator, was scared I was going to die (though clearly not dead). Parents turned the Wi-Fi off because I'm playing too much Xbox (I did sympathise a bit, it was a double XP that weekend). I have a cloud phobia, I walked outside an saw some clouds. I broke a nail.
Try keeping composed and professional when such rubbish comes out of people's mouths.
Where is the nearest gas station to me?
"Woman in hysterics..."
Woman in hysterics just totally losing her mind because her son was missing as he hadn't returned from school. First question was "when was he suppose to come home?" Her response was "3pm" it was 1:30.
My mum had a call on Christmas Day about 15 years ago. Someone rang in to say their turkey wouldn't fit in the oven.
"Someone called up..."
I used to work for 000 in Aus. Someone called up because there was a spider in their bathroom. I had to put them through to the fire brigade and the lady was screaming and the firefighter was like "just throw a shoe at it". Pretty sure they had to send someone around
"I was once dispatched..."
Retired deputy here. I was once dispatched to a call in the middle of the night in which a lady stated that she couldn't sleep because of a duck quacking outside her window. Fortuneately it was gone before I got there.
We got paged to a guy tripping the other day seeing Jesus in his phone. He was a super cooperative and sweet patient, and just having a really bad night. His douchebag friends kicked him out when he was having a hard time, so we picked him up basically to keep him safe. He had quite the cocktail of drugs on board, so we convinced him (effortlessly, he was very sweet) to let us check out his heart and make sure it wasn't struggling with the mix of uppers and downers. His pulse and BP were rightfully elevated, but healthy.
At that point, Jesus Phone made him call his mom, so he, mom, and myself had a lovely conversation in the ambulance. She wins mom of the year award for being so understanding and supportive of her son in a hard place, and he wins patient of the year for being a good self-advocate and so agreeable despite how scared he was. But don't do drugs, kids, Jesus will appear in your phone and tell you whacky stuff.
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- Dispatchers Share Their Funniest 'You Don't Actually Call 911 For ... ›
- People Break Down The Stupidest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Them - George Takei ›
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.