This article is based on the AskReddit question "What's a quote from the worst date you've been on?"
Red flags, red flags everywhere!
Source can be found at the bottom of the article.
1/28. "I was running late so I didn't shave my pubes for you." Then he loudly broke out into song 'IT'S A JUNGLE DOWN THERE' in the middle of the bar, complete with hand gestures.
-lemontartlemontart
2/28. While I'm driving on the highway, "so what does this do?" pulls handbrake
-procrastiwriter
3/28. "Oh my god! you have tits!"
Blind date miscommunication. Someone thought she was gay, she thought I was going to be a guy. We still had Beer and Pizza though so its all good in my book.
-Kalipygia
4/28. On the date, "well, actually, I have a boyfriend, who's a state cop."
And, you're on a date with someone else why, exactly?
There was no second date.
And then, three months later, a text from her:
"My friend stole a UPS truck last night and I don't know what to do."
Fortunately, I did know exactly what to do: block and delete.
-b33r_engineer
5/28. Three for the price of one:
(Repeating a discussion about dating tactics with her friend) "..and she suggested I should just get pregnant by the next attractive guy I want to keep. It sounded like a great idea. giggle"
"I don't think women should work unless they want to. Looking pretty all the time is a full-time job. Those ugly dykes are the exception, tho."
"Why would anyone complain about your boss groping you? It just means you are really hot.
-seensomesh*tman
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6/28. "What do you want to do tonight?"
"Um, you asked me out for dinner, sooo...probably eat."
"I already ate.
-Stabfacenotback
7/28. "My mother had three miscarriages before I was born. I call them the lucky ones.
-bestbeloved
8/28. The earth is a flat plate and Antarctica is a big wall of ice surrounding us.
Yeah, that was some pretty weird stuff. She was all into conspiracy theories, but thought that the illuminati was called the leguminati (for the people that don't know French: legume = vegetable).
-diedster
9/28. "The problem with this country is all the f**king immigrants."
"But you're from Iran!"
"I know, but that was like ten years ago.
-petgreg
10/28. On a first date: "My great-grandfather's name is Mario, my grandfather's name is Mario, my dad's Mario, I'm Mario, and if you don't mind, I'll be naming our child Mario.
-babyangelpuppy
11/28. "Sorry, what do you do again? I don't really listen to someone unless I consider dating them"
This happened to me two days ago.
She never smiled the entire time. Not a crime, but one of the only things I got going for me is my sense of humor. It was awkward the entire time.
We also some how got on topic about depression and that I've been through it, but antidepressants have changed my entire life.
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But her view was that I would "never be happy because of my chemical imbalance in my brain"
She told me about how much she loved the time she went to the Rocky mountains... in Tennessee.
She also told me about her obsession with Cactuses and showed me her entire collection on instagram later that evening. I couldn't contain myself and laugh my ass off by that time, but that was mainly because I started chugging alcohol after the first 30 minutes of the date.
-drewisawesome14
12/28. "What so you mean you don't believe in dinosaurs?"
"There's no way for us to know they existed it was so long ago"
"What about the fossils"
"Satan placed those on earth years ago to test our faith
-arneAsadaSteve
13/28. "Why are you being polite to him? He's a cab driver.
-petgreg
14/28. I've got a few actually.
"I don't want a career, I want to be a stay-at-home mom, only without the kids."
"I'm crazy, like certified, like I have papers to prove it." (we dated for 11 months...)
I've dated some real winners in my time, I have plenty more if anyone wants them.
"So my baby daddy says I gotta be back by 11pm or he ain't watching our son no more."
"Hey can you just drop me off at my friend's place? My dad doesn't know I went out with you... Yeah, he still wants to kill you."
"So I had fun tonight but we should really never do this again."
"Oh I'm telling your mother about this at work tomorrow.
-OldRustyBones
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15/28. "Your boobs are massive I hope they swing down like udders so I can suck on them" WITHIN 5 MINUTES of meeting me, when I said that was inappropriate he told me I wasn't used to "real men" and was a princess who needed keeping in line... I picked his pint up poured it over his head and left.
-deedee50
16/28. The conversation started normal. He asked me what I studied (medicine) after which he asked what I wanted to specialise in. After I told him I'm thinking about surgery he immediately bursted out:"Yeah, no, I'd never be ok with my partner making more money than me." He was doing some gardening at the moment and had 0 ambition...
On the same date "Yeah, this is way to expensive for me." This was a normal restaurant with normal prices, not expensive at all... He took the cheapest dish on the menu and after asking for the bill I saw him eyeing the family sitting behind us.
I knew what was gonna happen but couldn't run away before paying the bill... The waitress brought us the bill and he immediately piped up: "That table behind us got free amarettos afterwards, why aren't we getting any??" To which the waitress calmly replied (my compliments to her for dealing with these idiots):"Sir, the four of them had plenty of drinks, wine, starters, main courses and desserts, so we wanted to give them something on the house. You had 2 main courses and water."
I'm starting to accept I will have to buy a lot of pets with the money I'll earn as a surgeon and stay single forever.
-wineisawesome
17/28. "Why does this Mexican man keep trying to steal my menu?"
"Well, he is the waiter. He's literally trying to take our order, and you keep telling him there's a Taco Bell down the road."
"He should wait down there then! I came here for high class Italian pizza!"
Didn't have a second date, shockingly.
-JDogg_of_RS
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18/28. I had one on a date a couple of years ago. Sat in the pub with a girl, not the best looker in the world, but she seemed genuinely nice over previous conversations, so I wanted to meet her and see where things went. 45 mins into the date she sighs and says:
"Can we go to another pub, I don't want to be served by HIM" (Pointing to the black barman).
I said "sure, old boyfriend?"
She replied "No, I don't want to be served by a dirty black bastard. He should be in the fields away from civil people."
Safe to say I finished my beer and left her at the table.
-Tony_Danger
19/28. "Im so horny right now, but Im asexual."
I had a small brainfart, processed that sentence, sighed, gave up and left.
-airwalkerdnbmusic
20/28. It was early in high school and we hadn't really been dating that long 3 or 4 months maybe. We go out to eat and I feel like it's a pretty good night. I'm driving her home and she says "I had fun tonight did you?" and I say I did. Then she says "I don't think we can do this anymore. We're breaking up" and then she proceeds to cry uncontrollably for the remainder of the drive.
Once we got to her house she wouldn't stop crying and refused to get out of my car until she stopped. I just kept rubbing my hand on her back not knowing what to do. She finally stopped crying and says "but I did have fun". I was so confused for such a long time. We occasionally saw each other and she refused to acknowledge my existence.
-swanyMcswan
21/28. "You guys are all the same", she says in disgust, "all you wanna do is have sex."
Ten minutes later she is forcing my pants down...and was over the crazy/hot ratio, so I actually pulled them back up.
-cuchulain84au
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22/28. All From the same date:
*While cuddling me in a movie theatre "I have a boyfriend."
"These scars? These are from my suicide attempt Monday" (it was Friday)
"Have you ever seen a spirit? I see them all the time. An old man lives with my boyfriend and he has a wolf. We should go get a Ouija board!"
"Let me show you my favorite bar game. I yell random names at the bartender until I get it right
-himynameisadam
23/28. When I was like thirteen I thought my parents sent me to this super boring summer camp, turns out it was a resource center and rehab for my anorexia and depression. I'm okay now I eat like once a day. Hey at least I'm a cheap date right?
-itsfoine
24/28. "I'm going to get popcorn, I'll be right back."
I met him online, and we hit it off really well. We talked almost every day all day and we had a lot in common. We talked on the phone and laughed constantly. After about a month we agreed to go on a date - we were going to see a movie. We got to the movie theater in our own cars and met each other at the doors, and right away I could tell he was disappointed with me. He didn't really look at me going in, I said something that he would typically think was funny, and instead of laughing he kind of half-heartedly chuckled and didn't look at me. I told him I'd pay for our tickets (because I felt bad that he was already feeling like I was a waste of his time) and he let me. We went and got our seats and he was sitting for about a minute and a half when he all of a sudden said, "I'm going to get popcorn, I'll be right back."
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So five minutes went by, I suspected maybe the line was a little long. Five more minutes went by, and I started to get a little worried that maybe he left his ticket in the theater with me and couldn't get back in. So I went out to find him, and couldn't see him anywhere. I thought he might be in the bathroom, so I kind of waited in the lobby for another five minutes, and finally realized that he may have just left. I went out to the parking lot and his car was gone. I went back and tried to finish the movie since I paid for it, but I couldn't get through the movie without crying. I ended up just going home. I haven't been on a date since.
-xfilesandchill
25/28. Third date, she says "I'm really into manipulating people". Also she wanted to set up a "poly" relationship where she would be able to bang other guys, but I wouldn't be able to bang other girls. I noped the f**k out.
-Journeyman42
26/28. "If it's all right with you, can we go to your house?" "My husband doesn't leave for work for another hour." This was our third date , I had no clue.
-jamisonrain
27/28. "I don't want you eating meat. Not just around me, but no meat full stop. I don't want to kiss a person who eats corpses."
She was vegan. I have no problem with that at all, people should be free to live their lives as they want, so long as they aren't actively harming anyone. But trying to force values on me is not a good thing.
We broke up that evening
-greenwood90
28/28. "I can already picture my baby inside your belly"
This was our first date..needless to say there was no 2nd date
The story behind this quote:
The guy asked me to go watch a movie with him, so I met up with him at the movie theater. Once the movie was over we decided to sit outside on a bench and talk for a bit. As we were talking out nowhere he decided to rub my belly and say "I can already picture my baby inside your belly". I wanted to run away from him, but I didn't want to be rude so I stuck around for a bit longer. He then proceeded to come up with baby names. Just my luck we were sitting across from an Ikea store so he started thinking of decorations for our "apartment". I told him I had to go and left as quickly as possible. He texted me for a few days and at times would send multiple texts back to back. I ended up blocking his number.
-myownbigworld
(Source)
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...