'Ask and you shall receive'. Well these people certainly did but the response of 'yes' was still shocking.
1/25. A job I had about four years ago. Abruptly out of a fit of built up rage, approached my boss and said, "I don't like how sh*t is getting run around here and I want a promotion." Promoted on the spot.
2/25. Apart from the seemingly endless sounds of high school debauchery, all was perfectly still. I realized just how long I had been sitting, talking to my crush on the sofa and we were hitting it off tremendously. Cue a rush of liquid confidence that was the only reason I muttered these words ever so softly, "D-Do you wanna make out?" After an eternity of staring into her playful, blue eyes, the words that meant more to me than any other at the time danced seductively from her lips, "Yes, jtporter29, lets make out." Then we made out and stuff and it was pretty cool.
3/25. I asked my fiance at the time if he was sleeping with my best friend. I think in the back of my mind, I had to have known it would be a "yes". But I was really hoping it was a no.
4/25. On a first date with this girl I never thought would go out with me, I casually asked if she would like to take a bath with me. Her exact words were, "Well, hop to it." In November we will celebrate our 45th anniversary. Am still shocked that she said yes.
5/25. Went to boss with detailed, three-point presentation to ask for a ridiculous raise (but I had the numbers to back it up). Before I could even get started he...
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Before I could even get started he's like 'yeah we need to fix this. What are you thinking?' I tell him my ludicrous number, and he's like 'OK That's good. I'll talk to HR today'. Boom promoted
Never got to give that presentation though...
6/25. "What's wrong, did someone die?"
"..."
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7/25. Hottest waitress I know went to Summerfest with me with almost zero notice. It was like an hour before the show and I was asking everyone I knew. I had chatted with her a few times but never hung out outside the bar. Needless to say I was pretty shocked when she said yeah.
8/25. I'll accept the position if you're willing to pay (number that represents bonkers raise).
I really didn't want to change jobs, so I gave a big number to force a no. They said yes and I got a big pile of dollars.
9/25. Was trying to buy a house 5 years ago and the banks weren't giving money to anyone that wasn't uber-qualified. I was 27 and the house was almost 400k. The bank wanted an extra 25,000 down on top of the 40k I had. Told my boss the next day that I'd lose the offer in 3 days if I didn't have the $. Jokingly asked him for it.
Wrote me a check the next day. Still blows me away.
10/25. Working at the electronics shop and have just finished setting up a washer/dryer delivery. I asked, " Anything else you wanted to check out before you pay? 80 inch tv or something?"
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Even chuckled when I said it jokingly. Guy looks at his wife and she just gives him a shrug. "Yeah, why not?" I bring him over to it and ask if he had any questions. He looks to his wife again and I see her give him a nod. "We want one of these delivered to." I was dumbfounded and I think they could tell how giddy I was.
11/25. Me: "You're home early, have you been sacked?" while laughing.
Dad: "Yes, the company has folded"
As a 15 year old, I had no idea what to say. So I walked off.
12/25. "Am I adopted?"
13/25. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"
"Yes."
"Thanks mom."
14/25. "Wait, so you had a call from "google" saying your account was compromised, and they wanted to remote into your computer? Did you let them in?"
"Yes."
Nothing is more infuriating at times than working in a call center doing tech support.
15/25. Started a new job. At the end of the first week, which I felt went really well, the CEO called me into his office to ask me how I thought things had gone. I smiled warmly and enthusiastically and told him I thought things had gone great! That I liked being there and was looking forward to the following week.
He frowned and told me that his opinion was different, and then proceed to go down a laundry list of things I'd done wrong - such offenses as not coming into his office in the mornings to say hello, and arriving at 745 (15 minutes prior to my scheduled start) instead of half an hour prior. (Apparently, although my hours were 8 to 5, he expected me there by 730). All my offenses were petty bullshit which, had he outlined his expectations at any point during the week, I would have obliged.
Thus began his power-tripping reign.
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Nothing I did was good enough, and by the end of the third week I was leaving in tears on the daily, after having been screamed at and ridiculed for minor, minor sh*t all day everyday.
At week four, when he docked my pay for thanksgiving and the day after (I was a salaried employee), I fought with HR and got the pay and then started job hunting.
At week six, I went in and said basically this: "so I think we can both agree that this isn't working out. I'm willing to leave today, but I'd appreciate being given four weeks severance, since it's the holiday season and it may take me awhile to find a job."
Within an hour I had a check in my hand, and within 48 I had four offers elsewhere.
16/25. Her: I'm bored, let's do something.
Me: (Joking) We could have sex.
Her: (Enthusiastically) Okay!
Me: ... (Does nothing because I was beta as f*ck)
17/25. Will you be okay?"
Both my mom and dad had cancer and they are both fine now :)
18/25. "Is she dead?" When the police called to inform me that my sister had been killed in a car accident.
19/25. Me: "Can we get her (the puppy)?"
Dad/Mom: "Yes."
Me: O.O
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20/25. You didn't pick me up at the airport with 3 pounds of weed in the trunk did you?
My roommate in undergrad was a rather charming character.
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21/25. "You want to come back to my place and meet my cats?"
I am not at all skilled at pick-up lines.
22/25. Age 16: "Can I go to Germany on my own?"
23/25. "You're pregnant?" 16 year old me...
24/25. Freshman year of high school. Asked a senior to homecoming. She said yes. What.
25/25. In Japan:
'Hi, how are you?'
'Yes.'
'...'
