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16 Historical Figures Who Got Epic Revenge. Mic Drop.

History isn't just about boring dead guys in powdered wigs. There's also a good deal of bad-assery involved.

This is based on the AskReddit "What was the biggest f*ck you given in history?" Link at the end of the article.


1/16. Galileo's middle finger is literally on display at the Florence History of Science Museum as an eternal f*ck you to his haters.

-Lightsabres

via GIPHY

2/16. Most people don't know that JK Rowling REALLY knows how to hold a grudge. When she wrote the first Harry Potter book, her publisher hired Stephen Fry to do the narration for the audiobook. Fry had only been told that it was a children's book and thought it would be a pretty easy afternoon's work.

When he gets to the studio for the recording, he meets Ms. Rowling. She informs him that she's going to be writing a sequel to which he responds "Good for you," in a most condescending and rude manner.

Years later, the Harry Potter books are flying off the shelves, and Mr. Fry is hired to do the recording for the Prisoner of Azkaban.

He's reading through nicely when he gets to the phrase, "Harry pocketed it." And he couldn't say it. They did take after take and he couldn't get it right. The syllables simply wouldn't come out of his mouth without getting jumbled.

via GIPHY

So he calls Ms. Rowling and explains the situation. "Can we change the line to 'Harry put it in his pocket?' I can say that," He asked.

Ms. Rowling thought about it for a moment then said, "No," and hung up on him. And you'll never guess what phrase appeared in every successive Harry Potter book. The phrase "Harry pocketed it," appears in the next 4 books of the series. Don't mess with JK Rowling!

-13707892

3/16. When the Nazis invaded France, the Resistance cut the elevator cables to the Eiffel Tower so Hitler would have to take the stairs.

-The JesseClark

Keep reading on the next page!

4/16.Warren Buffet initially had just invested in Berkshire Hathaway and intended to sell his stock. He made an oral agreement to sell for $11.50 per share.

When the written offer came in though, it was for $11.375 per share. This upset Buffet, so he bought the company and fired the man who wrote up the offer.

via GIPHY

-EnderForHegemon

5/16. After WW2, Tito (of Yugoslavia) and Stalin had a split. Tito refused to have Yugoslavia become a satellite state of the USSR, so Stalin attempted to assassinate Tito several times.

So Tito sent him an open letter saying:

"Stop sending people to kill me. We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. (...) If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send a second."

-kingboz

6/16. Queen Olga of Kiev was a badass. These guys called the Drevlians killed her husband and wanted Olga to marry their prince. Olga's son was only 3 and she wasn't about to have that.

The Drevlians sent 20 or so men to persuade her to marry their prince. She had them buried alive.

The Drevlians did not know this and Olga sent word to the prince that she accepted his proposal and needed their best men to accompany Olga on her way to marry the prince. When the top men arrived, she had them burned alive.

via GIPHY

She then invited the leading Drevlians to a funeral feast to mourn her late husband. After they were drunk, she ordered her soldiers to kill the 5,000 or so Drevlians.

Now that their wisest and most distinguished men where out of the way, the remaining Drevlians begged for mercy and offered to pay whatever Olga wanted. Olga, taking immense pity, asked for 3 pigeons/sparrows/doves from each house, so as not to burden them financially. Drevlians were happy to comply.

But he thing about those birds? They always fly back to their nests. And that bad b*tch Olga knew it too...


Keep reading on the next page!

So she had sulphur and cloth tied to the foot of each bird. When they went back to roost at their nests in the Drevlian city, the sulphur caused all the houses to catch on fire. Since all the homes caught on fire at once, the fire couldn't be contained.

Olga sold the survivors as slaves.

You killed my husband? F*ck you and your entire village.

via GIPHY

-TheBeeManx

7/16. The burial of Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan in the Taj Mahal. As I'm sure you know, Shah built the Taj as a mausoleum for his wife. Now, the dude was absolutely obsessed with symmetry.

In fact, there are myths that he tortured any artisan or labourer who accidentally or otherwise messed with the symmetry of the Taj. His wife's sarcophagus is dead centre of the inner chamber, purely because of his obsession with symmetry.

Anyway, his rather spiteful son Aurangzeb locked him in the Agra Fort when he grew ill, where he eventually died.

As a final "f*ck you" to his father, he placed Shah's body into a sarcophagus to the side of his wife. His son intentionally ruined the perfect symmetry of the Taj Mahal specifically to spite his father.

via GIPHY

-ophiopzxc

8/16. The St Nazaire Raid in 1942. British commandos rammed the dry dock at St Nazaire (West France) with their destroyer Campbeltown.

The dry dock was the largest the Germans had control of that entered into the Atlantic. It was the only place their largest battleships could be repaired without having to sail past the UK.

Many commandos were captured during the raid.

During the interrogation of Sam Beattie, one of the captured British Commandos, the German Naval Officer was chastising the foolishness of the plan to ram the wall of the dry dock with their boat, and saying how easy it would be to fix the damage.


Keep reading on the next page!

Unbeknownst to the Germans, the Campbeltown was full of explosives and detonated not a moment later, killing 40 senior German officers and civilians who were on a tour of the wreck and destroying the dry dock, knocking it out for the rest of the war.

via GIPHY

After the explosion, Beattie smiled at the German and said, 'I guess we're not as foolish as you think!'

-popsickle_in_one

9/16. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta: "If I invade Laconia you will be destroyed, never to rise again." The Spartans replied with a single word: "If." There was no invasion.

-fatheroftardigrades

10/16. Can't remember the details exactly, but this guy Cato had a beef with Julius Caesar for reading personal notes during senate meetings and accused him of being involved in some conspiracy.

He declared that if Caesar had nothing to hide, he wouldn't mind sharing the contents of the letter. So Caesar hands the letter over and it turns out it was a love letter from none other than Cato's own sister.

via GIPHY

-intlei

11/16. In the 1300s Italy was just a bunch of city states and Bologna and Modena were in conflict with each other.

In the Battle of Zappolino in 1325 this all came to a head and the Modenese beat the sh*t out of the Bolognese.

To celebrate their victory and rub salt in the wound, the Modenese held a festival outside the city walls of Bologna and for days the city's residents were forced to watch the Modenese act a fool in their front yard, 14th century style.

But before they left, they did something else.


Keep reading on the next page!

Before they left, those pesky Modenese thought it would be a good laugh to steal the bucket from Bologna's main well as a trophy of their victory.

Laughs were had and it was good. Except laughs are still being had, as about 700 years later the Modenese still have the bucket. It's on display in a glass case in a museum in the city as a constant reminder of that day in 1325 when the city beat the sh*t out of Bologna.

-MrBGS93

12/16. In 390 BCE, a Gallic tribe led by Brennus overran and conquered the still-young city of Rome. As ransom, he demanded a thousand pounds of gold and this was agreed to by the Romans.

During the weighing process, it was discovered that Brennus was using false weights on the scales; they were heavier than stated, designed to cheat the Romans out of even more gold.

When confronted about this, he threw his own sword onto the scales (adding even more weight to the payment required) and declared "WOE TO THE VANQUISHED."

via GIPHY

-Calvin_v_Hobbes

13/16. The Nazis made a meticulous "phantom airfield" in occupied Holland. Being German, they focused on exacting detail. This focus made the construction take longer, long enough, in fact, for allied intelligence to determine that it was a fake air field.

So, when the allies bombed the fake wooden air field, they made sure to drop a fake wooden bomb.

via GIPHY

-RogertheStroklund

14/16. The story about how Julius Caesar was captured by pirates. He was 25 years old and was kidnapped by pirates who demanded 20 talents of silver as ransom. They didn't realize how important he was, and Caesar was insulted by the amount so he told them to ask for 50 talents.

It took them a little over a month to gather the ransom money, and in that time Julius actually befriended the pirates. But it was a mistake for them to let their guard down.


Keep reading on the next page!

Caesar would write poetry and play games with the pirates, and eventually they came to respect him and pretty much let him do whatever he wanted on their island and ships.

Caesar told them that as soon as he was released he would hunt them down for holding him prisoner. The Pirates thought he was joking, but as soon as Caesar was released he gathered a small fleet, captured them, and then crucified them.

-Afk94

15/16. During the US Civil War, Union general John Sedgwick was complaining that his men were ducking from enemy sniper fire at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse. "Why are you dodging like this?" he said. "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."

Seconds later a sniper shot him through the head.

via GIPHY

-mrcchapman

16/16. Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, sold the movie rights to Paramount in a deal that entitled him to a share of the net profits from the film.

Hollywood accounting, of course, ensures that even a wildly successful box office smash like Forrest Gump loses money on paper, so he didn't get anything close to the millions he'd expected.

via GIPHY

(That's why big stars make sure they get a share of the gross box-office receipts.)

When he wrote the sequel, Gump & Co., Paramount tried to buy the film rights. Groom refused, saying in good conscience he couldn't allow the studio to spend so much on a franchise that had lost so much of their money.

-JournalofFailure

(Source)

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.