History isn't just about boring dead guys in powdered wigs. There's also a good deal of bad-assery involved.
This is based on the AskReddit "What was the biggest f*ck you given in history?" Link at the end of the article.
1/16. Galileo's middle finger is literally on display at the Florence History of Science Museum as an eternal f*ck you to his haters.
-Lightsabres
2/16. Most people don't know that JK Rowling REALLY knows how to hold a grudge. When she wrote the first Harry Potter book, her publisher hired Stephen Fry to do the narration for the audiobook. Fry had only been told that it was a children's book and thought it would be a pretty easy afternoon's work.
When he gets to the studio for the recording, he meets Ms. Rowling. She informs him that she's going to be writing a sequel to which he responds "Good for you," in a most condescending and rude manner.
Years later, the Harry Potter books are flying off the shelves, and Mr. Fry is hired to do the recording for the Prisoner of Azkaban.
He's reading through nicely when he gets to the phrase, "Harry pocketed it." And he couldn't say it. They did take after take and he couldn't get it right. The syllables simply wouldn't come out of his mouth without getting jumbled.
So he calls Ms. Rowling and explains the situation. "Can we change the line to 'Harry put it in his pocket?' I can say that," He asked.
Ms. Rowling thought about it for a moment then said, "No," and hung up on him. And you'll never guess what phrase appeared in every successive Harry Potter book. The phrase "Harry pocketed it," appears in the next 4 books of the series. Don't mess with JK Rowling!
-13707892
3/16. When the Nazis invaded France, the Resistance cut the elevator cables to the Eiffel Tower so Hitler would have to take the stairs.
-The JesseClark
Keep reading on the next page!
4/16. Warren Buffet initially had just invested in Berkshire Hathaway and intended to sell his stock. He made an oral agreement to sell for $11.50 per share.
When the written offer came in though, it was for $11.375 per share. This upset Buffet, so he bought the company and fired the man who wrote up the offer.
-EnderForHegemon
5/16. After WW2, Tito (of Yugoslavia) and Stalin had a split. Tito refused to have Yugoslavia become a satellite state of the USSR, so Stalin attempted to assassinate Tito several times.
So Tito sent him an open letter saying:
"Stop sending people to kill me. We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. (...) If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send a second."
-kingboz
6/16. Queen Olga of Kiev was a badass. These guys called the Drevlians killed her husband and wanted Olga to marry their prince. Olga's son was only 3 and she wasn't about to have that.
The Drevlians sent 20 or so men to persuade her to marry their prince. She had them buried alive.
The Drevlians did not know this and Olga sent word to the prince that she accepted his proposal and needed their best men to accompany Olga on her way to marry the prince. When the top men arrived, she had them burned alive.
She then invited the leading Drevlians to a funeral feast to mourn her late husband. After they were drunk, she ordered her soldiers to kill the 5,000 or so Drevlians.
Now that their wisest and most distinguished men where out of the way, the remaining Drevlians begged for mercy and offered to pay whatever Olga wanted. Olga, taking immense pity, asked for 3 pigeons/sparrows/doves from each house, so as not to burden them financially. Drevlians were happy to comply.
But he thing about those birds? They always fly back to their nests. And that bad b*tch Olga knew it too...
Keep reading on the next page!
So she had sulphur and cloth tied to the foot of each bird. When they went back to roost at their nests in the Drevlian city, the sulphur caused all the houses to catch on fire. Since all the homes caught on fire at once, the fire couldn't be contained.
Olga sold the survivors as slaves.
You killed my husband? F*ck you and your entire village.
-TheBeeManx
7/16. The burial of Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan in the Taj Mahal. As I'm sure you know, Shah built the Taj as a mausoleum for his wife. Now, the dude was absolutely obsessed with symmetry.
In fact, there are myths that he tortured any artisan or labourer who accidentally or otherwise messed with the symmetry of the Taj. His wife's sarcophagus is dead centre of the inner chamber, purely because of his obsession with symmetry.
Anyway, his rather spiteful son Aurangzeb locked him in the Agra Fort when he grew ill, where he eventually died.
As a final "f*ck you" to his father, he placed Shah's body into a sarcophagus to the side of his wife. His son intentionally ruined the perfect symmetry of the Taj Mahal specifically to spite his father.
-ophiopzxc
8/16. The St Nazaire Raid in 1942. British commandos rammed the dry dock at St Nazaire (West France) with their destroyer Campbeltown.
The dry dock was the largest the Germans had control of that entered into the Atlantic. It was the only place their largest battleships could be repaired without having to sail past the UK.
Many commandos were captured during the raid.
During the interrogation of Sam Beattie, one of the captured British Commandos, the German Naval Officer was chastising the foolishness of the plan to ram the wall of the dry dock with their boat, and saying how easy it would be to fix the damage.
Keep reading on the next page!
Unbeknownst to the Germans, the Campbeltown was full of explosives and detonated not a moment later, killing 40 senior German officers and civilians who were on a tour of the wreck and destroying the dry dock, knocking it out for the rest of the war.
After the explosion, Beattie smiled at the German and said, 'I guess we're not as foolish as you think!'
-popsickle_in_one
9/16. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta: "If I invade Laconia you will be destroyed, never to rise again." The Spartans replied with a single word: "If." There was no invasion.
-fatheroftardigrades
10/16. Can't remember the details exactly, but this guy Cato had a beef with Julius Caesar for reading personal notes during senate meetings and accused him of being involved in some conspiracy.
He declared that if Caesar had nothing to hide, he wouldn't mind sharing the contents of the letter. So Caesar hands the letter over and it turns out it was a love letter from none other than Cato's own sister.
-intlei
11/16. In the 1300s Italy was just a bunch of city states and Bologna and Modena were in conflict with each other.
In the Battle of Zappolino in 1325 this all came to a head and the Modenese beat the sh*t out of the Bolognese.
To celebrate their victory and rub salt in the wound, the Modenese held a festival outside the city walls of Bologna and for days the city's residents were forced to watch the Modenese act a fool in their front yard, 14th century style.
But before they left, they did something else.
Keep reading on the next page!
Before they left, those pesky Modenese thought it would be a good laugh to steal the bucket from Bologna's main well as a trophy of their victory.
Laughs were had and it was good. Except laughs are still being had, as about 700 years later the Modenese still have the bucket. It's on display in a glass case in a museum in the city as a constant reminder of that day in 1325 when the city beat the sh*t out of Bologna.
-MrBGS93
12/16. In 390 BCE, a Gallic tribe led by Brennus overran and conquered the still-young city of Rome. As ransom, he demanded a thousand pounds of gold and this was agreed to by the Romans.
During the weighing process, it was discovered that Brennus was using false weights on the scales; they were heavier than stated, designed to cheat the Romans out of even more gold.
When confronted about this, he threw his own sword onto the scales (adding even more weight to the payment required) and declared "WOE TO THE VANQUISHED."
-Calvin_v_Hobbes
13/16. The Nazis made a meticulous "phantom airfield" in occupied Holland. Being German, they focused on exacting detail. This focus made the construction take longer, long enough, in fact, for allied intelligence to determine that it was a fake air field.
So, when the allies bombed the fake wooden air field, they made sure to drop a fake wooden bomb.
-RogertheStroklund
14/16. The story about how Julius Caesar was captured by pirates. He was 25 years old and was kidnapped by pirates who demanded 20 talents of silver as ransom. They didn't realize how important he was, and Caesar was insulted by the amount so he told them to ask for 50 talents.
It took them a little over a month to gather the ransom money, and in that time Julius actually befriended the pirates. But it was a mistake for them to let their guard down.
Keep reading on the next page!
Caesar would write poetry and play games with the pirates, and eventually they came to respect him and pretty much let him do whatever he wanted on their island and ships.
Caesar told them that as soon as he was released he would hunt them down for holding him prisoner. The Pirates thought he was joking, but as soon as Caesar was released he gathered a small fleet, captured them, and then crucified them.
-Afk94
15/16. During the US Civil War, Union general John Sedgwick was complaining that his men were ducking from enemy sniper fire at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse. "Why are you dodging like this?" he said. "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
Seconds later a sniper shot him through the head.
-mrcchapman
16/16. Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, sold the movie rights to Paramount in a deal that entitled him to a share of the net profits from the film.
Hollywood accounting, of course, ensures that even a wildly successful box office smash like Forrest Gump loses money on paper, so he didn't get anything close to the millions he'd expected.
(That's why big stars make sure they get a share of the gross box-office receipts.)
When he wrote the sequel, Gump & Co., Paramount tried to buy the film rights. Groom refused, saying in good conscience he couldn't allow the studio to spend so much on a franchise that had lost so much of their money.
-JournalofFailure
It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"The troubles."
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
Colonization
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
Slavic Mythology
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Life pre-Covid.
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
Reading_Rainboner
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
Small_Tax_9432
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
iidosee
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
mymymissmai
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
richard-king
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
statiiic
WTF?!?!
"How affordable everything was!"
Disastrous_Hour_6776
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
SnowyInuk
Sushi
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
InannasPocket
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTY
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
DmitriPetrov*itch
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
sketchysketchist
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
__--__7
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
tyreka13
Homeward Bound
"House prices."
adrianinked
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
Osdab2daf
"That didn’t happen because of the pandemic. That was already happening regardless."
CH11DW
Oh Mickey
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
hutch2522
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Freyas_Follower
Way back when...
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
LoocsinatasYT
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
cknipe
Peace Out
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
asiangontear
Delusion
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
eggwardpenisglands
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
Better_Meat_
Shrug
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
Tune_Kindly
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
Whatever
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
imCIK
Cool with Empty
"Nothing. [Serious]."
rumblingtummy29
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
thepigfish82
puppet-masters...
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
Lngtmelrker
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
conservative_genius
That's All
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
serefina
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted Time
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
Sirena609
Lotto People
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
thenuggetlover
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
i-am-your-god-now
Aware...
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
Dizzy-Foundation8122
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
OutrageousEvent
Shut Up!
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
Acceptable-Lemon2924
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
bangersnmash13
Kindness
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
scaryboilednoodles
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit It
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
Quirky-Area-8978
From Above
"My upstairs neighbors."
lutzow89
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
Th3_Accountant
Move Away
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
BacardiPardy33
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
BacardiPardy33
It's Over
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
Tired_Potatos
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
CaucasianHumus
AHHHHH!!!
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
_-v0x-_
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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