16 Historical Figures Who Got Epic Revenge. Mic Drop.
History isn't just about boring dead guys in powdered wigs. There's also a good deal of bad-assery involved.
This is based on the AskReddit "What was the biggest f*ck you given in history?" Link at the end of the article.
1/16. Galileo's middle finger is literally on display at the Florence History of Science Museum as an eternal f*ck you to his haters.
2/16. Most people don't know that JK Rowling REALLY knows how to hold a grudge. When she wrote the first Harry Potter book, her publisher hired Stephen Fry to do the narration for the audiobook. Fry had only been told that it was a children's book and thought it would be a pretty easy afternoon's work.
When he gets to the studio for the recording, he meets Ms. Rowling. She informs him that she's going to be writing a sequel to which he responds "Good for you," in a most condescending and rude manner.
Years later, the Harry Potter books are flying off the shelves, and Mr. Fry is hired to do the recording for the Prisoner of Azkaban.
He's reading through nicely when he gets to the phrase, "Harry pocketed it." And he couldn't say it. They did take after take and he couldn't get it right. The syllables simply wouldn't come out of his mouth without getting jumbled.
So he calls Ms. Rowling and explains the situation. "Can we change the line to 'Harry put it in his pocket?' I can say that," He asked.
Ms. Rowling thought about it for a moment then said, "No," and hung up on him. And you'll never guess what phrase appeared in every successive Harry Potter book. The phrase "Harry pocketed it," appears in the next 4 books of the series. Don't mess with JK Rowling!
3/16. When the Nazis invaded France, the Resistance cut the elevator cables to the Eiffel Tower so Hitler would have to take the stairs.
Keep reading on the next page!
4/16.Warren Buffet initially had just invested in Berkshire Hathaway and intended to sell his stock. He made an oral agreement to sell for $11.50 per share.
When the written offer came in though, it was for $11.375 per share. This upset Buffet, so he bought the company and fired the man who wrote up the offer.
5/16. After WW2, Tito (of Yugoslavia) and Stalin had a split. Tito refused to have Yugoslavia become a satellite state of the USSR, so Stalin attempted to assassinate Tito several times.
So Tito sent him an open letter saying:
"Stop sending people to kill me. We've already captured five of them, one of them with a bomb and another with a rifle. (...) If you don't stop sending killers, I'll send one to Moscow, and I won't have to send a second."
6/16. Queen Olga of Kiev was a badass. These guys called the Drevlians killed her husband and wanted Olga to marry their prince. Olga's son was only 3 and she wasn't about to have that.
The Drevlians sent 20 or so men to persuade her to marry their prince. She had them buried alive.
The Drevlians did not know this and Olga sent word to the prince that she accepted his proposal and needed their best men to accompany Olga on her way to marry the prince. When the top men arrived, she had them burned alive.
She then invited the leading Drevlians to a funeral feast to mourn her late husband. After they were drunk, she ordered her soldiers to kill the 5,000 or so Drevlians.
Now that their wisest and most distinguished men where out of the way, the remaining Drevlians begged for mercy and offered to pay whatever Olga wanted. Olga, taking immense pity, asked for 3 pigeons/sparrows/doves from each house, so as not to burden them financially. Drevlians were happy to comply.
But he thing about those birds? They always fly back to their nests. And that bad b*tch Olga knew it too...
Keep reading on the next page!
So she had sulphur and cloth tied to the foot of each bird. When they went back to roost at their nests in the Drevlian city, the sulphur caused all the houses to catch on fire. Since all the homes caught on fire at once, the fire couldn't be contained.
Olga sold the survivors as slaves.
You killed my husband? F*ck you and your entire village.
7/16. The burial of Mughal Emperor Shah Jahan in the Taj Mahal. As I'm sure you know, Shah built the Taj as a mausoleum for his wife. Now, the dude was absolutely obsessed with symmetry.
In fact, there are myths that he tortured any artisan or labourer who accidentally or otherwise messed with the symmetry of the Taj. His wife's sarcophagus is dead centre of the inner chamber, purely because of his obsession with symmetry.
Anyway, his rather spiteful son Aurangzeb locked him in the Agra Fort when he grew ill, where he eventually died.
As a final "f*ck you" to his father, he placed Shah's body into a sarcophagus to the side of his wife. His son intentionally ruined the perfect symmetry of the Taj Mahal specifically to spite his father.
8/16. The St Nazaire Raid in 1942. British commandos rammed the dry dock at St Nazaire (West France) with their destroyer Campbeltown.
The dry dock was the largest the Germans had control of that entered into the Atlantic. It was the only place their largest battleships could be repaired without having to sail past the UK.
Many commandos were captured during the raid.
During the interrogation of Sam Beattie, one of the captured British Commandos, the German Naval Officer was chastising the foolishness of the plan to ram the wall of the dry dock with their boat, and saying how easy it would be to fix the damage.
Keep reading on the next page!
Unbeknownst to the Germans, the Campbeltown was full of explosives and detonated not a moment later, killing 40 senior German officers and civilians who were on a tour of the wreck and destroying the dry dock, knocking it out for the rest of the war.
After the explosion, Beattie smiled at the German and said, 'I guess we're not as foolish as you think!'
9/16. After invading southern Greece and receiving the submission of other key city-states, Philip II of Macedon sent a message to Sparta: "If I invade Laconia you will be destroyed, never to rise again." The Spartans replied with a single word: "If." There was no invasion.
10/16. Can't remember the details exactly, but this guy Cato had a beef with Julius Caesar for reading personal notes during senate meetings and accused him of being involved in some conspiracy.
He declared that if Caesar had nothing to hide, he wouldn't mind sharing the contents of the letter. So Caesar hands the letter over and it turns out it was a love letter from none other than Cato's own sister.
11/16. In the 1300s Italy was just a bunch of city states and Bologna and Modena were in conflict with each other.
In the Battle of Zappolino in 1325 this all came to a head and the Modenese beat the sh*t out of the Bolognese.
To celebrate their victory and rub salt in the wound, the Modenese held a festival outside the city walls of Bologna and for days the city's residents were forced to watch the Modenese act a fool in their front yard, 14th century style.
But before they left, they did something else.
Keep reading on the next page!
Before they left, those pesky Modenese thought it would be a good laugh to steal the bucket from Bologna's main well as a trophy of their victory.
Laughs were had and it was good. Except laughs are still being had, as about 700 years later the Modenese still have the bucket. It's on display in a glass case in a museum in the city as a constant reminder of that day in 1325 when the city beat the sh*t out of Bologna.
12/16. In 390 BCE, a Gallic tribe led by Brennus overran and conquered the still-young city of Rome. As ransom, he demanded a thousand pounds of gold and this was agreed to by the Romans.
During the weighing process, it was discovered that Brennus was using false weights on the scales; they were heavier than stated, designed to cheat the Romans out of even more gold.
When confronted about this, he threw his own sword onto the scales (adding even more weight to the payment required) and declared "WOE TO THE VANQUISHED."
13/16. The Nazis made a meticulous "phantom airfield" in occupied Holland. Being German, they focused on exacting detail. This focus made the construction take longer, long enough, in fact, for allied intelligence to determine that it was a fake air field.
So, when the allies bombed the fake wooden air field, they made sure to drop a fake wooden bomb.
14/16. The story about how Julius Caesar was captured by pirates. He was 25 years old and was kidnapped by pirates who demanded 20 talents of silver as ransom. They didn't realize how important he was, and Caesar was insulted by the amount so he told them to ask for 50 talents.
It took them a little over a month to gather the ransom money, and in that time Julius actually befriended the pirates. But it was a mistake for them to let their guard down.
Keep reading on the next page!
Caesar would write poetry and play games with the pirates, and eventually they came to respect him and pretty much let him do whatever he wanted on their island and ships.
Caesar told them that as soon as he was released he would hunt them down for holding him prisoner. The Pirates thought he was joking, but as soon as Caesar was released he gathered a small fleet, captured them, and then crucified them.
15/16. During the US Civil War, Union general John Sedgwick was complaining that his men were ducking from enemy sniper fire at the Battle of Spotsylvania Courthouse. "Why are you dodging like this?" he said. "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance."
Seconds later a sniper shot him through the head.
16/16. Winston Groom, author of Forrest Gump, sold the movie rights to Paramount in a deal that entitled him to a share of the net profits from the film.
Hollywood accounting, of course, ensures that even a wildly successful box office smash like Forrest Gump loses money on paper, so he didn't get anything close to the millions he'd expected.
(That's why big stars make sure they get a share of the gross box-office receipts.)
When he wrote the sequel, Gump & Co., Paramount tried to buy the film rights. Groom refused, saying in good conscience he couldn't allow the studio to spend so much on a franchise that had lost so much of their money.
We all indulge in fast food from time to time.
Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.
Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.
Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.
We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.
But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.
Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.
Redditor BungOnMimosas was curious to hear what people considered to be the most overhyped fast food chains around, leading them to ask:
"What do you think are the most overrated fast-food chains? Why?"
"Food As It Should Be"... Or Not...
"I know it's not technically 'fast food', but Panera Bread pisses me off."
"Insanely expensive for extremely average food." - Reddit
"Their quality has decreased so much in the past few years and they’ve added weird sh*t to their menu like pizza and chicken sandwiches."
"Massive identity crisis and crap food."- asm233
Things Ain't What They Used To Be...
"All of them, now that they charge real restaurant prices."- P00pf4rt5
"As much as I hate to say it, McDonald's is the only place that I can think of that the quality hasn't changed much."
"I mean, that's a pretty low bar, but it is what it is."- gnatman66happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy
"The majority of them, especially the really big ones (McDonald's, Wendy's, BK, Pizza Hut, etc)."
"The prices are no longer fast food prices and the quality is not there like it used to be."
"Far better local options that cost roughly the same at the end of the day."- senorita_diablo
Consistency Is Key...
"You can go to the same location three separate times, have the food made by the same staff, and receive 3 wildly different results."- AndrewLampart
Not So Popular Anywhere, It seems...
"KFC in France became so bad."- SterBout
"KFC."- calm4ufried chicken animation GIF by octavioterolGiphy
Likely Won't Go National...
"Idk how wide spread they are, but in the Buffalo NY area there is a chain called Mighty Taco."
"They were even voted best tacos a few years ago."
"It is absolutely terrible food."
"I’ve tried to like it and given them 3 chances."
"Each time I couldn’t eat more than a couple bites."
"Absolutely terrible and I’m disgusted even thinking about their sour vomit in a tortilla."- aa-2020
"I think I’ve answered this question before but definitely for me, it’s Subway."
"Nothing but a giant hunk of bread."
"I’m editing this to add that part of my anger about Subway is how good it used to be."
"I can remember the days of nearly a whole can of tuna salad delicious sub."
"And a Veggie sub with Swiss cheese and piles of yummy veggies and the sweet Vidalia onion sauce."
"It’s all gone to sh*t."
"I would’ve been perfectly OK with increasing price but the big drop in quality pissed me off."
"Oh woe is me with my first world problems."- Mysterious-Region640football ok GIF by Subway ColombiaGiphy
Quantity Doesn't Guarantee Quality...
"Starbucks is a scam."- cmkeller62
Tasty, But Not Worth It...
"I’m going to say Five Guys."
"Not because the food isn’t good, but because I’m not paying $20 for a burger meal."- 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
"Dairy queen grill and Chill for sure."
"I worked at one for a lil' while and 1 burger combo is $14.56 CAD."- lolidk13Ice Cream Miracle Treat Day GIF by Children's Miracle Network HospitalsGiphy
And Not In A Good Way...
Big Kahuna Burger, it kills you."-Darklock2022
No two people have the same taste in food.
Some people know to avoid crappy food, while others eat literally nothing else.
There are several movies I've watched so many times I think the viewings outnumber the days I've lived.
And much like a favorite tv series or movie, who wouldn't love to start again anew?
Experiencing that first time but with that feeling of... "I'm gonna love this forever."
We never appreciate the first time enough.
But that's life.
Warning: there are spoilers below.
Redditor Jacale1 wanted to discuss all the movies we wish we could experience new all over again, so they asked:
"What is one movie that you wish you could watch again for the first time?"
There are a lot of mystery movies I'd love to redo, just to figure out the killer sooner.
Gasps!Raining The Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy
"The Shawshank Redemption."
"A great nominee. Will never forget gasping when that rock went through the poster, and again when the warden pushed his arm through and ripped it down.... wow."
Over and Over
"Edge of Tomorrow."
"Is it bad that I got enjoyment knowing Tom Cruise died a lot in that movie. Never on screen, but it happened. Over and over. I hate that guy. How the hell was he the same height as Nichole Kidman in the movies they acted in together. Rhetorical question."
"Honestly the whole reason I watched the movie to begin with is that he kept dying over and over."
“'Stardust'- if you don’t know you’ll never know."
"I’m surprised that a fantasy romcom can be so enjoyable, for a straight guy. It’s just the right balance between fantasy, comedy, drama, and romance. Most of the female cast are very easy on the eyes too."
"I swooned when Yvaine glows while dancing on the ship, and when she talks emphatically to the mouse in the caravan. This movie has a lot of A listers, and they deliver. I’m not gonna lie, I have probably watched it half a dozen times."
"The book has so much more in it, even having seen the movie you'll feel like a child again."
"I watched this with my wife, who has never seen it, and that's about as close as you can get to watching it for the first time. It really displayed just how good the movie is. Also I love Aliens just as much for different reasons."
"Came here looking for this! I watched it for the first time with my dad when I was 11, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Amazing movie."
Hey Arnoldsci-fi GIFGiphy
"I first watched this as a kid when I knew Arnold was the good guy in movies, and I had not seen T1. I wish I watched T2 for the first time after having watched T1. The mall scene would have been even more mind blowing."
T2 was definitely bada**!! I'd redo that.
"Bro, I'll go further. If I could watch the Nicholson covered in blood scene or the final scene between Damon and Wahlberg, I would be so freaking happy. The sheer acting clout on display for the first is near a masterclass while the last scene was just so business like, I'd love to relive that scene with fresh eyes. I love this freaking movie."
"The original Star Wars. Man, that blew our minds! It totally changed movies from then on. We'd never seen such incredible special effects. The story was so fun and the experience was amazing."
"Even though I’m not a franchise fan, I can get behind this answer. Because when I saw it first run, I was fourteen, and nothing like it had ever been done. I think it was the first movie where the special effects were the movie? Now that’s standard. It’s a reason people see many films now."
"So, for sheer originality, I’d watch it again, but only for the first time. I barely recall the second movie."
"The 6th Sense. I audibly gasped in the theater. All the clues are obvious on rewatch but that first time, before anyone knew M. Knight Shyamalan was a twist guy... wow."
"I never got to see it the first time. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) inadvertently let slip the ending thinking I had already seen it. I have never seen the point in watching it knowing the ending. But I did enjoy The Village."
"I watched it again and it was more of a sad film than a thriller."
"Spirited Away. I was blown away by how beautiful and bonkers it is."
"Saaaaame! Every single Studio Ghibli film, but Spirited Away especially! I’ve still watched it a million times though, and it’s always special. If I’m in a bad mood that film always cheers me up!"
"Also, Avatar-the last air bender. I know it’s not a movie, but I felt like it deserved a mention. I’ve watched the whole thing several times, and it’s always great, but I do wish I could forget it and rewatch it. I’m 35 btw... lol."
Great Scott!Doc Brown Shock GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy
"Back to the Future."
"I'd love to watch that in the cinemas... Now from the future."
Now I want to go to the movies.
There is no one way to anybody's heart or libido.
Sexy doesn't always have to equal raunchy.
I've known people turned on by music, books, nature, and even funerals (don't ask).
What starts someone's engine is a mystery.
Redditor asexyjohn18 wanted to hear about all the things that get people in the mood, so they asked:
"What is a non sexual trait that turns you on?"
I love a walk. A little strut. Nothing like getting the heart racing.
Tingleshair GIF by SB NationGiphy
"Getting my head scratched or having someone run their fingers through my hair."
"Same. It’s so pleasant when the tingles run down your spine... ;-) "
"When a girl genuinely laughs at jokes I make."
"I remember being on a first date with a beautiful woman and I made a bit of corny joke/comment and she laughed at it. I remember thinking, damn, wait till I get to my good stuff. I did get to my good material apparently as we were married. She gives me as many laughs as I give her."
"Kindness. When I see someone going out of their way to help others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do… that is some truly attractive vibes."
"Apparently it's vanishing from this world really fast. People who show kindness often end up in losses (of course not everytime but most of the time yes). It really breaks my heart."
"Probably the sexiest thing out there. Someone can be smoking hot, funny, talented, etc. But if they're not kind, they're unattractive."
"Smiling right at me, and men stretching. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!"
"I have trouble smiling at women. Is this a turnoff for them? And ones I like are really hard to smile at. Because I know it's always going to be some really weird big smile if I am crushing which makes me feel like a super duper creep."
SimplicityHappy I Love You GIF by Warner Bros. DeutschlandGiphy
"Sorry if this is too kinky but i like it when they care about me."
"Too far man. You need to rethink your choices."
Sometimes it's all about the heart.
Eye 2 Eyei see you GIF by VH1Giphy
"When a guy explains something to you in a calm and understanding voice. Bonus points for gentle eye contact."
"Being crazily intelligent. Screw dirty talk, I want you to explain some unexplainable s**t in my ear."
"Heck yes. My best connections have been with a philosophy/history professor turned chancellor, an environmental engineer, and a neurosurgeon, all 3 Summa cum laude grads and conference speakers in their fields. The downside to genius though is complete absorption in their fields leaving little time for in person connection."
"Everyone should know how to cook. Hunger knows no gender. I like to eat good food so I learned how to cook. I asked my mom one day and she reacted surprised. She was more than grateful to have an opportunity to teach me the ‘finer’ aspects of cooking, as she called it. Lol. I love food."
"My girlfriend, now wife, likes to jokingly say I got her into bed with a well seasoned steak and homemade fries. I mean we did sleep together almost immediately after we finished dinner so maybe she’s right. That old saying comes to mind. 'The quickest way to the heart is though the stomach.'"
"When I ask my husband for help when I repot my plants and he delicately cleans and moves the leaves. He is a mechanical engineer and he works with huge pieces of industrial equipment, seeing him so tenderly caring for my plants just makes me melt."
Limbs A LotExcited Thomas Lennon GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Men doing intricate work with their hands."
"I second this, also someone who can play guitar/bass real real well... just watching their hands, whoa mama."
Well, it seems that just about anything can get someone in the mood, especially if you're kind, courteous, and especially a good cook.
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!
Even just in the past decade, items that used to seem too luxurious or expensive for "average" people to purchase are now incredibly affordable. And inaccessible produce and personal hygiene products are close to a distant memory.
It's fun to think back about how far we've come.
Redditor Repulsive_Ad_1163 asked:
"What previously luxurious thing is now considered normal?"
"Vanilla. It’s the second most expensive spice by weight, even today… but for some reason, it’s associated with bland or mundane flavor. Go figure."
"Today's produce is a crazy luxury."
"You are telling me that in Ontario Canada, I can get perfectly ripe bananas in January? Insanity."
Car Bag Phones
"I remember my dad having a bag/car phone in the '90s for his business and people thinking that was a huge deal."
"25 years ago, I was in high school, and we watched a corporate video in class. It was one of those of how the future will be all bright and shiny, as long as everyone uses brand X."
"The video was by Motorola, and it described the future. And they weren't that far off, stuff like zoom calls from the beach. But the one thing that had everyone in the class laughing and dismissing the video as bulls**t?"
"The eight-year-old with her own cell phone. Because 'no parent would ever spend that much money on a phone for a kid.'"
"The only way there used to be to get aluminum was to find native deposits of it. Meaning, basically, pure nuggets or otherwise tiny little deposits. Which were exceptionally rare. Hence the precious nature of aluminum."
"Aluminium didn't become the ridiculously disposable commodity it is today until we learned how to break bauxite with electricity."
"Running Water. I live in a rural part of Alaska in the summer, it is still a luxury there."
"Power windows in a car."
"Car backup cameras. I think they're mandatory standard features on cars now."
Readily Available Food and Water
"I LOVE that I can buy pre-butchered meat and vegetables I didn't grow and pasta I didn't make, etc."
"I read 'Little House on the Prarie,' I'm not butchering the pigs and preserving the meat in barrels/smoking it over two weeks, and it's awesome!"
Flat Screen TVs
"The first flat screen TV I saw was at a Bose store in the Spring of 99' and it was 42" for $15k! By today's standards, it was a fat flat screen of lower pixel quality. Crazy how cheap you can get one for now!"
"Eating meat every day, my grandfather was born during WWII and he told me that he only ate meat once a week when he was a kid. I can't speak for other countries but in the French countryside that was considered a luxury post-WWII."
"If there was one random thing I remember from middle school social studies/history, it’s going to be the fact that purple pigment was for the elite."
"I'm old enough that when I was a girl, most sanitary napkins still had a suspender belt that you attached the pad to; the 'beltless' maxi pads that arrived in the '70s were a game-changing deal."
"And tampons? Revolutionary, although they required a large body of marking reassurance that girls' virginity wouldn't be ruined by tampon use..."
"Agatha Christie once said, 'I never thought I would ever be so poor that I would not have servants, or so rich that I would own a car.'"
"But Honestly this statement is still quite true around the world."
"In places like southeast Asia, many families have live-in helpers or servants and they are quite poor themselves. Yet they can't afford a car."
"My dad used to always put an orange in my stocking and explained that it used to be a big deal because the fruit was hard to find."
"I carried on the tradition with my own kids. My 20-year-old, who I still make a stocking for, told me this past Christmas that it doesn't feel like Christmas if he doesn't get an orange in his stocking."
"He said when he has kids, he'll carry on the tradition and explain why. It made me feel good to know that it was as important to him as it was to me."
It's amazing to think of how the economy and our lifestyles have evolved over the years, and how expenses have changed to reflect that.