Young Professionals Reveal The Worst Coworker They've Ever Had[rebelmouse-image 18362176 is_animated_gif=
When you are working with people every day, they can tend to get on your nerves from time to time. Some coworkers are just downright awful! these young professional share their experiences with the worst coworker they have ever had.
u/I_are_facepalm asks: Who is there weirdest classmate or coworker you ever had?
Rinsed his mouth with bleach!? Who is thins guy?[rebelmouse-image 18362177 is_animated_gif=
I worked with a lot of weirdos when I was a security guard -- the field seems to attract them -- but the weirdest was Karl. Karl used to rinse his mouth with straight bleach regularly, would shoot at his neighbor's houses out his window with a .22, and once said to me, "Someone has put stones in the toilet again." When I asked why someone would do that, he said, "To make me look bad."
Sir laugh-a-lot[rebelmouse-image 18353058 is_animated_gif=
Working in tech support, I was friends with Tim. Tim liked three things, Baseball, Wrestling (WWE), and my comedy. He thought EVERYTHING I said was hilarious. I could tell he was going to start laughing ten seconds before he would; as I would arrive to the punchline (and sometimes, just an end to a normal sentence), he would begin to shake and crack a smile. For example:
"This lady couldn't understand why her internet wasn't working-"
Tim shakes, starts to smile
"Yeah?", choking back laughter.
"...and her router was unplugged."
He. Would. Lose. It. Made me feel like Dane Cook bringing down Madison Square Garden. I love you Tim, stay awesome.
Lady crazy Todd[rebelmouse-image 18362178 is_animated_gif=
Todd. He stood about 5'6", or 5'9" if you measured to the top of his mullet. Laughed like a donkey. Was physically incapable of talking quietly. I honestly liked the guy, but he could not keep his cool around attractive women. At least once every shift we would hear this high-pitched "ohymygod!!" from the other side of the store (that was the sound of Todd noticing a woman) followed by the supervisor aggressively tracking him down to contain the situation. I'm not sure if it was the union or something else that kept him in the job, but he was working there a long time before I was hired, and I like to imagine that he's still there today.
He never learns[rebelmouse-image 18362179 is_animated_gif=
Had to teach him his job again every day. EVERY. DAY . 6 weeks he was with us (contractor/staff aug). Had a pentagram on his chin he covered (poorly) with makeup on a daily basis. Awkward, but nice enough, honestly. Someone else I worked with googled his name years later and found him on a mugshot website on the other side of the country. Huh.
Weirdo![rebelmouse-image 18350666 is_animated_gif=
I used to work at a grocery store and we had a guy that was a utility clerk, so he basically just pushed carts and stocked shelves. Well this guy would only stock the feminine hygiene aisle. He would stock the tampons about 5 times a day and he would smell each one as he put them on the shelf. He would also clean the girls bathroom and only the girls bathroom 3 times a day, which wasn't even his job.
The adult baby[rebelmouse-image 18362180 is_animated_gif=
At my first professional job, I worked with a 28-year-old woman who might as well have been 10. Her parents picked her up and dropped her off, she had to have them constantly reassure her, and her mom handled most of her affairs for her. I honestly never really understood why the office tolerated her incredible childish nature.
The top two moments for me:
- She got really emotional because a baby bird fell out of a tree outside. Her mom had to come pick her up, while her dad tried to put the bird back in the nest.
- I shared that my family dog was going to be put down, as he was 19 years old and his quality of life was nearly zero. This caused her to enter a screaming fit where she locked herself in the bathroom, and then she couldn't figure out how to unlock herself. We had to call a locksmith via building management.
Wherever you are, Sarah - I hope you are okay.
The huffer[rebelmouse-image 18345360 is_animated_gif=
About 10 years ago the place I worked at (glass & glazing factory) hired this 16 year old kid. Every day that week he would disappear into the toilet for at least 20 minutes at a time, upwards of three times a day.
It got progressively worse - the Thursday he literally wasted 2 and a half hours in there, until on the Friday the boss told him he needed to pick up his act, to which he replied that he didn't appreciate having his work-ethic questioned, and that he wouldn't be back Monday.
That last day, around 3:30pm he went into the toilet again, and at about 4:40 came out and said that he'd been bitten by a redback spider (black widow) and needed to go to the hospital, so he got on his BMX bike and left.
One of the other guys went in there after that to kill the spider and discovered a stash of our touch-up spray paint bottles hidden behind a steel I-beam in the corner of the toilet.
The kid had been stealing the spray paint and huffing it in the toilet until he passed out.
The human horn[rebelmouse-image 18348225 is_animated_gif=
We have this co-worker. We call him Ed Trumpet. He basically makes these trumpet sounds when he did something good.
He also using his table as his own drumset.
When he comes in he takes of his shoes and puts on these... Loafers...
Liar![rebelmouse-image 18362182 is_animated_gif=
Had a coworker that was a legit pathological liar. We caught her in so many lies - these weren't even the "make yourself look better" type, but basically anything to get attention. She told us one Monday that she was sore because over the weekend she fell down 7 FLIGHTS of steps - we asked for clarification, maybe she meant 7 steps (still a big fall!), but no she doubled down, she claimed she rolled down 7 flights of stairs, one after the other.
She also claimed she was allergic to condoms when someone made a joke about me being allergic to latex. She wasn't claiming she was allergic to latex mind you, but literally all condoms, male or female, latex or not, she was allergic to it. I remember this one vividly because she claimed any guy was lucky to be with her. Spoiler alert: there are lots of alternatives to latex condoms these days, this girl was just nasty and she just wanted male attention. She was in her early 30s too - I could understand this behavior in a teenager but it's like she never matured passed the age of 15.
The sugar baby[rebelmouse-image 18362183 is_animated_gif=
Weirdest coworker I've had:
I'll call her Ann. Ann was in her late 20's, but almost every story of her purchasing anything either started with "My man bought me..." or "My daddy bought me..." - and I don't mean just expensive things, even her basic shoes and purse were purchased by either her SO or father. So, fairly immature, you get the picture.
She constantly tried to drown out the rest of us making light typing noises and stray conversation by turning up one of those "sleep machines" quite loudly. Her next-cubicle-neighbor constantly had to ask her to turn it down. The white noise setting was okay, but she also sometimes set it to Ocean or Rainforest, and Rainforest included bird sounds.
Even though she was trying to cover up our noises, she had no qualms about making her own. 65% of her job consisted of data entry, but every time she made a mistake, she exclaimed "Cheese and crackers!", "Dangit!", "Stars and stripes!", or "Oh gosh darn!". And she made a lot of mistakes in day.
Sounds like an awesome show[rebelmouse-image 18361825 is_animated_gif=
Dude I worked with was always putting on an act to hide the insane rage/hatred for the world/whatever he felt.
We'd sometimes watch out the window as he came in some mornings. You'd see him slam his car door, sometimes he'd swear loud enough to hear and then he'd walk toward the door looking like he was coming to shoot the place up.
Then he'd pause outside the door, take a few deep breaths and come into the shop with a wide smile and asking everyone how they were doing.
Glad he was qualified for the job[rebelmouse-image 18348222 is_animated_gif=
I had a coworker that knew every episode of the telletubbies by heart. He was like 30 years old.
Sometimes you never know[rebelmouse-image 18350091 is_animated_gif=
I worked at Pizza hut a while ago. There was a delivery driver that worked there and everyone liked him. He was funny, cracked jokes all the time, and seemed like a good guy. At the time, I had no car, so he would give me rides home if he had a delivery in the area. One day, he didn't show up to work and nobody could get ahold of him. We found out he didn't show up because he had murdered his girlfriend and then tried to kill himself.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to[rebelmouse-image 18346875 is_animated_gif=
Coworker talks to herself as well as inanimate objects, and responds to herself as if it's an actual conversation. I can tell what she ate for lunch based on what barnyard animal noises she's making when she returns from break. She gets on her hands and knees and barks like a dog at random. A simple paper cut would make you think she lost a limb by the screams.
I'm the only person on staff who isn't terrified of her.
What a trouble maker[rebelmouse-image 18348502 is_animated_gif=
Margo, my 50 year old coworker, she made my life miserable for almost 2 years, everything started when I was 18. We were talking and I told her that I was in a band, so she told me that musicians were a bunch of thieves who only wanted people money and that "playing that guitar" was nonsense and a scam. I told her that she was being plain rude and ignorant, so she decided to spend the following 2 years making my life hell. She tried to get me fired SEVERAL times, called me names, mocked me for having depression, made fun of my looks (at the time I had long hair) and everything I did her son would do it better.
Definitely giving off the wrong vibe[rebelmouse-image 18345581 is_animated_gif=
Probably the guy who brought an escort into the office. Not sure what his motive was, probably wanted us to think he was a hit with the ladies. He had reception buzz 'his girl' in, she came up to his desk and led him out in full view of everyone. Procedures were changed shortly afterwards
The scavenger[rebelmouse-image 18348512 is_animated_gif=
I hate to associate my former coworker as weird but he was awesomely different. Unfortunately, he had some brain damage from a previous work accident and was now a dishwasher at the restaurant I use to work at. I thought he was hilarious because he had funny quirks. He absolutely hated signs posted for some reason and every time our annoying manager would post one he'd rip it down and throw it away which I loved. He also would eat a coworkers food that they walked away from. I mean like leave your bowl of ice cream for like 60 seconds and boom! Paul was all over it. He'd always have the same response and nobody could get mad at him. "A ghost ate it!"
The guy that's not good at small talk[rebelmouse-image 18348514 is_animated_gif=
Worked with him for four years, no real conversations besides work talk. ''Can you do this for me'' And so on, all the way through 4 years. He's a pastor, but works here at a warehouse. First real conversation after 4 years was this, keep in mind we've sat next to each other for 6 hours at this point in a small office.
First personal question after 4 years was:
''Have you ever seen 101 dalmatians''
me: ''Yeah I guess, when I was a kid''
Also, he coughs every 15th second and has a snotty nose, but he has never had his doctor look at it. People say he has had this insane cough for 7-8 years.
The fork hoarder[rebelmouse-image 18348513 is_animated_gif=
I worked at a software company with normal people and a kitchen with shared dishes and cutlery. One day we found it harder and harder to find forks, and after two weeks they were all gone.
A few weeks later a relatively new employee got fired. I had the luxury of cleaning out his desk after he was gone. Lo and behold in his drawer was about 25 forks. Like WTF.
They say you can never have enough of a good thing, but we all know there's plenty of stuff that you'd like to just go, "Oh, no thank you" about and that would be that.
Unfortunately, that pretty much never actually works.
Try telling the electric company "no thanks" when the way too high bill comes, or just putting up a hand to decline work for the next week or so because you're just kind of over it.
Consequences and repercussions, folks. But you've got to admit some stuff would just be better if it was... less.
Reddit user DuckyMomo_12 asked:
"What’s something that would be 100% better if it was slightly shorter?"
Time At WorkExcited Happy Hour GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Average work hours"
"Seriously. My current company has us work 37.5 hour weeks with a paid hour lunch. I don’t know if I could go back to the 40 hour/unpaid 30 min lunch again. It seems like such a small change but it feels like a lot."
"Everything is getting more expensive right now because of corporate greed. Don't buy the bs that it's just inflation."
"Your bosses are making profits and squeezing you for everything you're worth in the process. Remember that while you bust your @ss for them."
"So would you take a pay cut so you can work less?"
"If you work less, yes. But if you do the same amount of work in less hours, no."
"I moved to US a the beginning of this year and that is something which drives me crazy. People are so inefficient when they work, here."
"Why not just do your job rapidly, with great care and concentration then leave to have your life?! I was in Germany, UK and France before and that's what people do. You do your job and when it's finished, around 3 or 4 pm, they just go home or to gym, or other places. Having time for you is the reward for working well."
"Yeah that's a good way to look at it"
"My nose hair."
"Dude... tell me about it. I didn't need excessive nose hair at 26, why TF do I need it at 36."
"Seriously, I can trim for minutes and the next morning I got nose hairs coming out my nose tickling the sh*t out of me!"
"Oh and there is one cheeky hair all the way up in my left nostril that will grow all curled up in my nose and all of a sudden it just starts poking out, seriously now, this thing has grown to about 2 inches long. if i pull on it, I swear to god it feels like it tugs on either the back of my head or my left eye."
"I got nose hair for days."
"I just bought a beard/hair trimmer that has a nose/ear hair accessory, my nose hairs weren't excessively long but I feel like it looks much better now!"
"This is fortuitous cuz I wondered if I'd ever get to tell this story! Literally, cleaning/fixing things in my new home about 3 hours ago."
"My nose got tickled and I i couldn't rub it because I had wood glue gloved hands. So I'm washing up and staring in the mirror at all the stuff my (generally maintained, but neglected because I can't find sh*t) nose hairs kept out of my system. It was AMAZING! DUST WAS DANCING IN MY NOSE HAIR LIKE I'VE SPUN CHARLOTTE'S WEB."
"I, honestly, felt lucky to get a chance to appreciate my nose hair. And I hope 1 day you do, too. As for me? I'm still left in awe like that'll do, pig, that'll do."
Lines For FunEpisode 2 Waiting In Line GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Lines at any amusement park."
"Go during September or October. The lines are much shorter and the weather isn't too hot or cold"
"One year my father's company and maybe a couple others rented Disneyland for one night. There were enough people that it didn't feel empty, but not so many that we couldn't just walk right up and immediately get on any ride. I was old enough to be on my own."
"One of the big perks of staying at one of the Disney hotels is they have certain nights that the park closes for everyone but the people that are staying there. We chilled at the hotel for most of the day then went in late and walked up to every attraction we wanted. My kid loved space mountain and we must have ridden it 10 times in a row. Glorious."
"Me. I hate hitting my knees on the seat in front when using public transport"
"Tall gang represent. Got the opposite problem tho, 31 inch inseam, all my height is torso. Crack my head on every ceiling in every personal vehicle I've ever owned bar one"
"I don’t fit on airlines. Flying sucks…"
"Frequent festival go-er, I always stand in the back because I hate blocking other peoples view"
"You took the words right out my mouth"
This One Is Advance
"Queues. This is a two for one, as the word queue would also be 100% better if it was shorter."
"The word queue is just the letter Q with a bunch of extra letters waiting in line."
"I've seen people using 'cue' like 'cue up', but idk if they're just americans that suck at using the right word because we don't call lines 'queues' as often."
RestTired Baby GIFGiphy
"The amount of time you need to sleep"
"How I wish 5 hours was enough..."
"I honestly wish I could sleep more, maybe it would help with my loneliness. I usually need 6 or 7.5 h based on prior activity"
"Supreme court appointments."
"Justices should serve an 18 year term, with each one staggered every two years."
"A: that is still plenty of time so that the court can be "above" politics, but a lot more sensible than a lifetime."
"B: it would eliminate this hair-on-fire panicked emergency that happens every time one of them suddenly dies and needs to be replaced. Every president gets to appoint two new justices per term like clockwork, predictable and calculable. No more political wrangling over who controls the Senate vs who is president vs how much time there is before the election and all that BS."
"Agreed. Lifetime is a bit much... I do believe in term limits across all branches of US govt . By all means make a difference for the people that voted for you or for the party that appointed you. But, a lifetime appointment. 🥺🙄"
NFLCollege Football Running GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy
"Football (American) games. Especially things like replay reviews and timeouts after kickoffs and change of possession. Sure, guys would get more tired and worn down late in the games but that would be part of the strategy."
"I grew up watching football with my dad. I always hated it (and still do) and always thought why do people enjoy watching a minute play with five minutes of whatever after before the next one, it's so goddamn boring to me."
"A football game is played in 4 quarters, each 15 minutes long, with a 12 minute halftime in the middle. So do the math and a football game lasts. . . 3 friggin hours!?!? And the last 3 minutes of the 4th quarter accounts for 45 minutes of that time!"
"As a big American Football fan, I completely agree. I think the biggest culprits are the endless commercials but 3 hours is just too much. The players would adapt and you would likely see some reduction in size, especially on the line. Being 400 Lbs with that amount of PED assisted muscle is questionable as it is."
"Same thing with baseball but the purists like the pitchers taking 20 minutes before each pitch for whatever reason. I like Soccer too and watching a match get knocked out in 1.5 hours and getting on with my day is great."
More Days To Enjoy
"Work week, 4 day work week, 3 day rest would be fantastic"
"I used to do 4 day work week, and I preferred it more than 5 day work weeks. Sure, I had to spend 10 hours at the office, but that 3rd day off gave me a day I could take my Mom to the doctor if needed."
"The job I worked the longest at had me on a 4 on/4 off schedule. 12 hour days. I was there for 8 years, honestly loved that job, and one of the cool things about working 12 hour days for 8 years was that it made transitioning to 8 hour days a breeze. The downside was 2 day weekends f*cking suck."
"I would love that. You need the middle day. Then you get a day to rest/decompress, a day to have fun/do things, and a day to do chores/get sh*t in order for the week."
"Most recently, Gray Man. They need to chill with the 2+ hour movies."
"If the writers really knows what they are doing with the story and the actors nail the, well, acting, I don't mind 2hr movies."
"For me the main issue is that they tend to cut short, as if they halfway through filming realize that 'Oh shoot, this movie will end up 4hrs long'."
"I'd rather have a 4 episode mini-series with hour long episodes instead."
"I feel like any bollywood movie not clockin in at 3 hrs is pretty short. But the good ones make it seem short. Ex: Three Idiots, PK"
Which of these resonated with you most?
More importantly, what needs to be on this list that you don't see?
Gripe with me in the comments, folks! It's always a good time.
Life is a mystery full of mysteries.
Some we'll finally get, some will stay a conundrum forever.
Sometimes no matter how much we study or agonize over a piece of information, it just doesn't click.
But that's okay, we're all here to commiserate.
RedditorDangerous_Mobile9188 wanted to discuss what aspects of life still leave confusion.
"What do you genuinely not understand?"
Life is full of quandaries that I give up on trying to figure out.
Everywhere?Emoji Corona GIF by BallcomGiphy
"Why people can't use a public restroom without literally pooping all over the freaking toilet."
Around the grooves...
"How a single needle can run through the grooves on a record and produce a fully layered and 'separated' sound. I mean, I get how it works in theory. But like... how TF does it work?"
"I know how it works, and I understand how it works, and I was gleefully trying to convey this knowledge to a friend when I realized that I am not able to explain how it works, which essentially means that I don’t actually get how it works."
"The thought process of a cat trying to jump on a shelf that is clearly filled with stuff and doesn't have space for it to land safely."
"The opposite, actually... how on earth does my cat jump on a shelf filled with stuff and somehow always land elegantly with all four paws between all the stuff without dropping a single thing? It surprises me every time."
"50% of cats have a 6th sense to avoid everything and 50% of cats are clumsy as hell. 100% of cats think they have the skill though."
"How consciousness works."
"I'm shocked no one has replied to this. Because yea. I haven't the slightest clue and i honestly don't think scientists know exactly how either. Such a complex system that turns into our thoughts and feelings, this is one of those things that REALLY made me appreciate the intricacies of our bodies."
10/10So Excited Reaction GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Every time my grandmother sees me, I seem to grow taller and more attractive."
I love grandmas. They understand everything.
S.O.SRole Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"How people can raise a functioning family at the age of 18 or 19? I can't even hold my own life together."
"Squatter rights! They confuse the hell outta me."
"Right! So you’re telling me, I can get evicted/foreclosed for missing some payments… but you can’t get rid of squatters who declare a house theirs ? I should just become a squatter then haha."
"Squatting is basically the same. It's not that they just get to live there, but the landlord has to use the proper legal mechanism (eviction) to get rid of them. And sometimes, that can take quite some time."
"How crypto mining works... like what exactly are these huge setups doing and why do GPUs matter so much? I've read several articles about it and I still don't get it."
"This is an oversimplification, but they're trying to solve a math problem. If they get the answer, they get rewarded with crypto. But the math problem is very very hard. There's no 'steps' to find the answer, it's just guess and check."
"So you need to make as many guesses as possible to see if one of your guesses is right. And it just so happens that GPUs are very good at making these guesses. So if 1 GPU can make let's say 22,000 guesses every second, then two GPUs can make 44,000 guesses every second. 10 GPUs can make 220,000 guesses every second, and so on."
"The wave-particle duality."
"This is the one man. For me this is the biggest mystery. Look, I don't care how the universe came to be. I mean I do, but this is much crazier to me. HOW DOES REALITY REACT DIFFERENTLY BASED ON OBSERVATION ALONE I sear this haunts me at night. Do i even exist man."
"Long story short, observing something at the quantum level is not as benign as observing, say, a runner on a racetrack. In observing something so small, the mere act of doing so affects the behavior/outcome. Imagine having to knock the aforementioned runner over in order to know where they are on the track. That's more or less how it was explained to me."
MagicRoss Mcelwee Photography GIF by FilmStruckGiphy
"Cameras, I’ve been explained and seen explanations 100 times. It’s still magic to me."
Maybe there are just somethings we're not meant to understand.
We all want to attain it.
Some people dedicate their lives to having it.
But who can say what is and is not attractive?
The older you get, the more serious and realistic you get with the topic.
And grapple with whether it really matters.
RedditorBig-Courage-7297 wanted to know what some people really thought when they looked into a mirror.
"How hot do you think you are? Why?"
Depending on the minute and the era, I fluctuate in my response. Oh, and depending on my sodium intake.
Middle of the way...Mackenzie Ziegler Makeup GIF by Brat TVGiphy
"5, am not ugly nor a beauty."
"'Perfectly balanced, as all things should be' JK... you probably look great."
"I give myself a solid 'alright for an old guy' out of 10."
"Comparing myself to when I was young I feel like a 2. However if I look around at other guys my age, I'm doing pretty great. Simply still having a full head of hair puts me in the top 15%."
"Occupying the latter half of the age bracket here too. And while I’ve never considered myself wildly attractive, one of my wife’s work friends once remarked to her, 'you didn’t tell me your husband was a silver fox!' I keep that one in my back pocket for gloomy days."
"My mom said I'm a 10/10."
"His mom also said I’m a 10/10. Im starting to think she says that about everyone who’s been inside her."
"Don't listen to these jealous haters you be that 10/10 and strut your stuff."
"Learning to love yourself, doesn't mean you don't see your own flaws but know where to improve and where and how you want to grow. Appreciate the goodness within even when it's hard, and work to have your ideal to be reflected on the outside too. Loving and forgiving yourself is the greatest peace you'll know, because everyone else might be gone at the end and you'll be left with you and your memories, make good ones. Spread positivity. 💕"
Changes with time...
"I think most people's scores fluctuate with age. I like to think I was a solid 8/10 in my early 20s. Then my metabolism crashed and I was working a desk job. I got real fat, got lazy, less effort, dropped to a 4/10. Got my s**t back together, lost the weight, started putting in the effort again, back up to an 8 if not higher in my 30s."
"Then I had a traumatic event in my life and I slipped into a dark place for many years. I put on weight again, stopped putting in the effort, general depression stuff, 5/10. Now I'm in my 40s, working on keeping my weight down, putting in some effort, solid 6/10..."
"But no matter what has happened, how low or high I've been... my wife has always considered me a 10. She's the best woman I've ever met and will always be a 10 to me too."
Oof...Freaks And Geeks Photo GIFGiphy
"6 or 7 on a good day? 1 when I try to take a picture of myself."
God I hated picture day. Still do.
FreshBad Hair GIF by TV LandGiphy
"Solid 5. 6 on a good day with a fresh haircut."
"I have days where I think 'God da*n, look at me. I’m God’s gift,' and then other days where I think 'how does every mirror not break?'"
"Actually though. Part of it is I used to be super athletic but due to an injury now can’t, but go**amn, I could look quite literally like a sculpture of a Greek god or hero, but also a balding baby-faced creep. Also occasionally homeless. More often the two latter than the former"
"I think I was a 6 growing up. But now that I've matured into my late 30s I'm a solid 7."
"This is me except as a kid I’d give myself a 3. Long-haired greaseball in my teens but now in my 30s, exercising for the past decade has really helped me out. Solid 7/10."
"Man, I went from 4 to 8 to 5 in the span of 20 years. Metabolism is a *itch."
"I just remind myself that the me that looks bad in in some pictures/at some angles is the same me that looks good in other pictures/other angles, just a different version. There are some angles and types of lighting and mirrors that for whatever reason, will make just about anybody look bad. There is no such thing as someone who looks good when the phone camera opens itself and shows a view of you from under your chin."
Boy Magnetichabod crane mirror GIFGiphy
"I was objectively pretty hot when I was younger. Now I am an older hot, which is weird. Younger guys really dig me but I’m like, you weren’t even born when the Challenger blew up and I was at Uni."
We're all beautiful. Just keep saying that. Maybe it'll stick.
Humans rarely agree on anything anymore.
So it's refreshing when an agreement is reached among peers.
Even if it's usually about simple or dumb stuff.
RedditorBertarioni85wanted all the gents to sit and discuss some of their universal agreements.
"What is something that all men could agree on?"
PerfectRobert Redford Nod GIFGiphy
"The nod really is great and so versatile. It's like a 'What's up man... everything cool' Ya me too. 'Wulp see ya later.' Just perfect."
"If there can be an empty urinal between us, make it so."
"There are men out there that break this rule! I was the only one, and at the far right end of a row of 4 or 5 urinals. Man walks in and pulls up right beside me, unzips, and let’s her flow, all while audibly exhaling in relief.
When you gotta go!
"That we are happy we get the short bathroom line."
To add to this, I still marvel in amazement and am grateful when I walk into a bathroom at a stadium or sporting event and it's just an endless column of empty urinals. Then you see the ladies bathroom line wrapping around two different corners. There's so much room for activities in the men's bathroom."
"Lady Professor in college (2008) said I’d make an incredible husband to my wife someday. Girl at the drive thru line said I had a cool car in September of 2015. Lady gas station attendant complimented my outfit that day and said I had a good vibe (2018). Cashier said I was handsome while ringing me up a couple weeks ago. Point is we never forget when we get complimented out of the blue."
PowerHappy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy
"Click the tongs a couple times to make sure they work first."
"Makes me feel like a crab… a very powerful crab."
Wow. Guys are so easy. Like super easy...
Twicetalking episode 15 GIFGiphy
"Whenever we pick up a drill we have to do the bzzt... bzzt twice. No more, no less."
Sticks and Stones
"I picked it up because it’s like, a really good stick."
"I wonder if that's instinctive. I've read before that human anatomy is almost perfectly engineered for throwing and thrusting spears. Maybe men have evolved to be able to identify really good sticks and even now we're drawn to them as a vestigial trait because instead of relying on claws or teeth, our ancestors needed good spears."
On the X
"Put two men on the phone, and we’ll be done talking in two minutes. Put two men on Xbox live, and oh is it 2:00am? I should probably go to bed… after this game."
"This is so true. A few weeks back a good friend called me at 10 at night because he’s been having a tough time with fighting depression and all that. I talked to him for a minute or two on the phone, cheered him up a bit and offered to keep the chat going on xbox live. Turned into an hour and half of a good time talking and playing COD."
Gotta have it.
"It's better to have and not need than to need and not have."
"It's so bloody annoying not having the right tool for the job when you need it. I so long for the day when I will have a fully equipped garage with every tool I would ever need, to fix everything that needs fixing."
"My sister's car has cutlery, both steel and disposable. Have sewing kit, a flask, a bento box, and a complete stationery set. But, they don't even have a freaking umbrella and jumper in the car. Like, wtf. And mind you, we live in a tropical country where you should always assume every day is a rainy day."
Nothing!Ellen Page Sony GIF by FlatlinersGiphy
"Sometimes... I really am thinking about nothing. Literally... Flatline, nobody home, crickets in the field."
Ah men. What a quirky part of the species.