Not everyone has the "Happy Birthday" we wish them. For some people, birthdays are an outright disaster.
Personally I've only ever had one really tragic birthday - the year my grandfather died and I got pulled over twice (once to give me a ticket, and then the officer pulled me over again just a moment later to tell me Happy Birthday.)
Reddit user kaancanpinar asked:
Dear askreddit what's the suckiest thing that happened in your birthday?
And as bad as my one birthday was, it was just one birthday. There are some people who seem to have a weird birthday curse and just can't get away from having bad ones! We're looking at you, person whose parents keep getting married and divorced on your birthdays. Jeez.
Tipsy Girlfriend
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My girlfriend at the time got a little tipsy and proceeded to act like an absolute wreck. She left me sitting alone at our "romantic" table for two - twice, for about 10 minutes each time, to go outside and smoke. This was during a meal that only lasted, maybe, an hour and a half.
Then she told me she loved me for the first time, but proceeded to get angry with me, because I didn't say it first.
On the drive home a Beats Pill (a very small speaker that weighs about a pound) dropped from the dashboard onto her knee - so she obviously had to have a fake freak out and tantrum - to the point that I pulled over at a gas station and had to come to her side of the car and inspect her knee. Which, of course, became perfectly fine and a non-issue in about 15 seconds as she stood up.
Jesus christ, I've never written that out and it makes me cringe.
Sleep Apnea
My cousin died suddenly of sleep apnea the day before my birthday, he was 23. We spent my 20th birthday driving across the country to attend his funeral.
- terminater112
US Invasion
The US invaded my country when I was turning 10. Cool thing was they took down the military dictatorship of Noriega...
Sucky thing was I was not able to go to the movies and catch a Baby Herman & Roger Rabit short film I wanted to see.
Oh yeah... and the dead. Yeah... all the dead also sucked.
Scared She Had Done It
On my 17th birthday, I woke up at 2 am to realize that my mom was not home. The day before my birthday she and my brother had a huge fight.
My mom would always threaten to kill herself because "no one loves her and nobody understands her." She always pulled this whenever we didn't back her up with what she believed or when she couldn't control us anymore. I grew up with her doing this all the time so it made an impact to me.
I was always scared that she'd actually do it. I would even choose to go home rather than play outside after school so I could watch over her.
So, back to my birthday, it was 2 in the morning and she wasn't home. Because I was scared about what she would do, I went out to look for her. I was crying the whole time because I was scared that she had finally actually done it. Also because I was scared for my own safety - I was a kid wandering around alone at 2 am! AND IT WAS MY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!
- missjnrs
A Morning Stroll
I was a fat kid. On my 14th birthday, my dad took me with him on a morning stroll. I didn't know he was going to turn it into a workout. I gave up as soon as we started - so he kept yelling at me as army sarges do in the movies.
When I had finally given up he called me "mara مرة": A degrading word directed to women in general and whores specifically.
- Tuebimur
Mom Stole My Party
I'm Filipino, the 18th birthday for girls is like a big deal. You throw this huge party and everything. Ever since I was young I always wanted to have one, so when I was 17 I asked if I could have one. My parents said no. So I kept on asking and asking, and told them I would do all the planing, the venue stuff and everything all they needed to do was pay.
So they finally agreed, after months of planning my mom decided to tell me last minute that she wants a part of the party to be dedicated to their anniversary. So I was like "uhh okay then..." Cause I felt bad for saying no since they were paying for everything.
All I really asked them to do was to pay, make a speech, do the decorations and tell me what they wanted to do for their anniversary. I did all the plannings the guest list, the program etc. All my mom told me was my dad was going to sing for her. So I'm like cool that's easy enough, shouldn't take up too much time. I consistently told them to make a birthday speech, make a speech.
On the day of the party, my mom insisted that the MC should follow her script instead of the MC script - which made the whole event longer than needed (which kinda annoyed me, but I was trying make the best of it.) Then when I was suppose to perform and whilst I was getting ready, my mom decided that it was time for their anniversary part and went on with it without letting me know.
Then they proceed to have their vows renewed, a video of them throughout the years, my dad singing 2 songs and a dance with just them two. Which took up a whole hour.
What pissed me off the most was that she didn't even make a speech, didn't bother saying happy birthday to me, and even got mad at me for not wanting to take photos with her friends whom she invited last minute and who I didn't even know. When I confronted her about it the day after, all she said was "Uhh I didn't know I had to make any speech."
The Favorite
My mum decided to Celebrate my brothers birthday and not mine. Cards, cake, presents, etc...
F.Y.I. This was my TWIN brother.
- Kirkn97
Divorce
My parents decided to use my 17th birthday to announce they were getting divorced.
Only One
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My 21st. My girlfriend at the time arranged for a surprise party for me inviting all my friends.
Only one person showed up.
Mom V. Grandparents
On my 16th birthday, my mother was in the middle of a several year long fight with her parents. She told me I should call them to see if they would like to come over for coffee (because she wouldn't call them herself). During the call I'm talking to my grandmother and get the usual "happy birthday" and "how are you" - it's important to note that I haven't seen them in months and we only lived like 10 minutes apart.
So I ask if they would like to come over for coffee and my grandmother says she's going to ask my grandfather if he would like to go. Now, I don't know if she didn't realize that she didn't cover the phone, but I heard them talking back and forth a and heard my grandmother say "I don't want to hurt her feelings but I don't want to go over there."
I already felt when I was a kid that they didn't love me as much as my older sibling, but this was the confirmation that it was true. They couldn't get past their bull and come see their granddaughter on her birthday. When she began talking to me she said some sort of excuse as to why they couldn't come over. I didn't hear it, I was trying not to cry so I could still talk. We said our "I love you's," though it was hard for me, and hung up. I just went to my room and laid down and cried. I didn't give a damn about anything and just wanted the day to be over.
My mother had a small surprise party for me by having my friends over, I tried my best to pretend to be happy and have fun, but I just wanted it to end. I was so mad and so hurt that I just wanted to crawl in bed and stay there forever.
In My Bed
Got told my girlfriend at the time wanted a break. Then she went locked me out of my house and slept with a dude she saw when she was out - in my bed!
It was my 20th birthday.
Love And Marriage
My parents got divorced on my 10th birthday. My 11th birthday my dad got married to another girl. On my 12th birthday they divorced. On my 13th they remarried. 14th divorced. Yes these all happened on my birthday or during that birthday week.
He Needed Attention
Someone broke up with me that day.
I arranged a nice birthday party, invited a bunch of friends and I was so happy that my boyfriend at that time was behaving as a decent person (e.g. not causing a scene, but smiling and chatting with mostly everyone). Little did I know that he kept on acting like this only to build up to a huge scene after we headed home.
He started to criticize all of my friends, how shallow and ignorant they were and how I should had stopped them talking about politics when I knew he was of a different opinion, so he would not had to listen to all the BS.
Then he said he doesn't love me enough to put up with me, so he left me crying in the middle of the street at night.
After a day he kept on calling me like nothing had happened. I did not understand what the F was going on.
Quick disclaimer: you might already know, but it is worth stating, that most psychopaths don't like when the attention is not focused on them (in this case it was focusing on me, since it was my birthday), so they will cause a scene to get back the attention. I did not know that until years later when all the things just started to make sense.
Prove It
My mother forgot it, then called me a liar when I told her. I had to get my driver's license to prove it.
I was in my late 20s.
Mom is just very self-centered. My mother is one of those people who isn't actively malicious but can't conceive of a world without her at the center. She knows best in all things and is always right, anything she dislikes is a personal offense created by the world at large and/or someone specifically to spite her, anyone with other views is objectively wrong, that sort of thing.
The Family Dog
Last year our family dog had to be put to sleep on my birthday. His stomach flipped the week before and caused irreparable damage. He'd already had it turn a few years ago. My mum went to pick him up and the vet told her he wasn't going to recover and was in pain. I got a phone call on my way to work where she was distraught. Thankfully my manager was incredible and let me use a sick day to go home.
I had to arrange the home visit to put him to sleep because my mum couldn't do it. I called my dad to tell him (my parents are divorced and he hadn't seen the dog in years.) I arranged everything so he could be brought home and go to sleep peacefully with me, my mum, and my sister. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My birthday is two weeks before Christmas and I'd already got him a present.
This big goofball got me through my parents' divorce and the hardest breakup I've been through. I'm in my late twenties and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Knock Knock
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High school one year, my birthday fell on thanksgiving. It was my birthday AND thanksgiving and my boyfriend dumped me. Through text. Using a knock knock joke
The joke was as follows:
Him: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: Single
Me: Single who?
Him: Single you.
He was not very clever, but he did tell the whole school about it proudly
- ccc2373
Wasting Money
On my 6th birthday my dad openly said on the phone he wished I wasn't born so he didn't have to waste money on me. He didn't know I heard him then got mad when I said I wanted to go back to my moms.
Yeah we didn't get along for a long time.
Newlywed Flu
Four months after our wedding, my ex husband told me he had a "football practice." He then proceeded to get obliterated at a bar, blocked me from calling him, slept with another woman and came home at 5am on my birthday. He was so messed up the next day, I had to pretend like he had the flu to my family who drove into town to see me.
My whole birthday was spent trying not to cry and imagine what he'd been up to, faking like we were the happy newlyweds everyone expected us to be. No gift, no "happy birthday", no explanation until years later when he confessed. Just me wondering what I did to deserve it all.
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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