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Not everyone has the "Happy Birthday" we wish them. For some people, birthdays are an outright disaster.



Personally I've only ever had one really tragic birthday - the year my grandfather died and I got pulled over twice (once to give me a ticket, and then the officer pulled me over again just a moment later to tell me Happy Birthday.)

Reddit user kaancanpinar asked:


Dear askreddit what's the suckiest thing that happened in your birthday?

And as bad as my one birthday was, it was just one birthday. There are some people who seem to have a weird birthday curse and just can't get away from having bad ones! We're looking at you, person whose parents keep getting married and divorced on your birthdays. Jeez.

Tipsy Girlfriend

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My girlfriend at the time got a little tipsy and proceeded to act like an absolute wreck. She left me sitting alone at our "romantic" table for two - twice, for about 10 minutes each time, to go outside and smoke. This was during a meal that only lasted, maybe, an hour and a half.

Then she told me she loved me for the first time, but proceeded to get angry with me, because I didn't say it first.

On the drive home a Beats Pill (a very small speaker that weighs about a pound) dropped from the dashboard onto her knee - so she obviously had to have a fake freak out and tantrum - to the point that I pulled over at a gas station and had to come to her side of the car and inspect her knee. Which, of course, became perfectly fine and a non-issue in about 15 seconds as she stood up.

Jesus christ, I've never written that out and it makes me cringe.

- AdamD1987

Sleep Apnea

My cousin died suddenly of sleep apnea the day before my birthday, he was 23. We spent my 20th birthday driving across the country to attend his funeral.

- terminater112

US Invasion

The US invaded my country when I was turning 10. Cool thing was they took down the military dictatorship of Noriega...

Sucky thing was I was not able to go to the movies and catch a Baby Herman & Roger Rabit short film I wanted to see.

Oh yeah... and the dead. Yeah... all the dead also sucked.

- Butterfest

Scared She Had Done It

On my 17th birthday, I woke up at 2 am to realize that my mom was not home. The day before my birthday she and my brother had a huge fight.

My mom would always threaten to kill herself because "no one loves her and nobody understands her." She always pulled this whenever we didn't back her up with what she believed or when she couldn't control us anymore. I grew up with her doing this all the time so it made an impact to me.

I was always scared that she'd actually do it. I would even choose to go home rather than play outside after school so I could watch over her.

So, back to my birthday, it was 2 in the morning and she wasn't home. Because I was scared about what she would do, I went out to look for her. I was crying the whole time because I was scared that she had finally actually done it. Also because I was scared for my own safety - I was a kid wandering around alone at 2 am! AND IT WAS MY FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY!

- missjnrs

A Morning Stroll

I was a fat kid. On my 14th birthday, my dad took me with him on a morning stroll. I didn't know he was going to turn it into a workout. I gave up as soon as we started - so he kept yelling at me as army sarges do in the movies.

When I had finally given up he called me "mara مرة": A degrading word directed to women in general and whores specifically.

- Tuebimur

Mom Stole My Party

I'm Filipino, the 18th birthday for girls is like a big deal. You throw this huge party and everything. Ever since I was young I always wanted to have one, so when I was 17 I asked if I could have one. My parents said no. So I kept on asking and asking, and told them I would do all the planing, the venue stuff and everything all they needed to do was pay.

So they finally agreed, after months of planning my mom decided to tell me last minute that she wants a part of the party to be dedicated to their anniversary. So I was like "uhh okay then..." Cause I felt bad for saying no since they were paying for everything.

All I really asked them to do was to pay, make a speech, do the decorations and tell me what they wanted to do for their anniversary. I did all the plannings the guest list, the program etc. All my mom told me was my dad was going to sing for her. So I'm like cool that's easy enough, shouldn't take up too much time. I consistently told them to make a birthday speech, make a speech.

On the day of the party, my mom insisted that the MC should follow her script instead of the MC script - which made the whole event longer than needed (which kinda annoyed me, but I was trying make the best of it.) Then when I was suppose to perform and whilst I was getting ready, my mom decided that it was time for their anniversary part and went on with it without letting me know.

Then they proceed to have their vows renewed, a video of them throughout the years, my dad singing 2 songs and a dance with just them two. Which took up a whole hour.

What pissed me off the most was that she didn't even make a speech, didn't bother saying happy birthday to me, and even got mad at me for not wanting to take photos with her friends whom she invited last minute and who I didn't even know. When I confronted her about it the day after, all she said was "Uhh I didn't know I had to make any speech."

- goldfish-halfbaked

The Favorite 

My mum decided to Celebrate my brothers birthday and not mine. Cards, cake, presents, etc...

F.Y.I. This was my TWIN brother.

- Kirkn97

Divorce

My parents decided to use my 17th birthday to announce they were getting divorced.

- LostNTheNoise

Only One

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My 21st. My girlfriend at the time arranged for a surprise party for me inviting all my friends.

Only one person showed up.

- Xenomemphate

Mom V. Grandparents

On my 16th birthday, my mother was in the middle of a several year long fight with her parents. She told me I should call them to see if they would like to come over for coffee (because she wouldn't call them herself). During the call I'm talking to my grandmother and get the usual "happy birthday" and "how are you" - it's important to note that I haven't seen them in months and we only lived like 10 minutes apart.

So I ask if they would like to come over for coffee and my grandmother says she's going to ask my grandfather if he would like to go. Now, I don't know if she didn't realize that she didn't cover the phone, but I heard them talking back and forth a and heard my grandmother say "I don't want to hurt her feelings but I don't want to go over there."


I already felt when I was a kid that they didn't love me as much as my older sibling, but this was the confirmation that it was true. They couldn't get past their bull and come see their granddaughter on her birthday. When she began talking to me she said some sort of excuse as to why they couldn't come over. I didn't hear it, I was trying not to cry so I could still talk. We said our "I love you's," though it was hard for me, and hung up. I just went to my room and laid down and cried. I didn't give a damn about anything and just wanted the day to be over.

My mother had a small surprise party for me by having my friends over, I tried my best to pretend to be happy and have fun, but I just wanted it to end. I was so mad and so hurt that I just wanted to crawl in bed and stay there forever.

- yinyangdoggos

In My Bed

Got told my girlfriend at the time wanted a break. Then she went locked me out of my house and slept with a dude she saw when she was out - in my bed!

It was my 20th birthday.

- Downundah666

Love And Marriage

My parents got divorced on my 10th birthday. My 11th birthday my dad got married to another girl. On my 12th birthday they divorced. On my 13th they remarried. 14th divorced. Yes these all happened on my birthday or during that birthday week.

- Shadowz520

Mum

On my 27th birthday my mum died. I don't celebrate my birthday anymore.

- CrispyMongoose

He Needed Attention

Someone broke up with me that day.

I arranged a nice birthday party, invited a bunch of friends and I was so happy that my boyfriend at that time was behaving as a decent person (e.g. not causing a scene, but smiling and chatting with mostly everyone). Little did I know that he kept on acting like this only to build up to a huge scene after we headed home.

He started to criticize all of my friends, how shallow and ignorant they were and how I should had stopped them talking about politics when I knew he was of a different opinion, so he would not had to listen to all the BS.


Then he said he doesn't love me enough to put up with me, so he left me crying in the middle of the street at night.

After a day he kept on calling me like nothing had happened. I did not understand what the F was going on.

Quick disclaimer: you might already know, but it is worth stating, that most psychopaths don't like when the attention is not focused on them (in this case it was focusing on me, since it was my birthday), so they will cause a scene to get back the attention. I did not know that until years later when all the things just started to make sense.

- h3t3r0d0nt

Prove It

My mother forgot it, then called me a liar when I told her. I had to get my driver's license to prove it.

I was in my late 20s.

Mom is just very self-centered. My mother is one of those people who isn't actively malicious but can't conceive of a world without her at the center. She knows best in all things and is always right, anything she dislikes is a personal offense created by the world at large and/or someone specifically to spite her, anyone with other views is objectively wrong, that sort of thing.

- Captain_Shrug

The Family Dog

Last year our family dog had to be put to sleep on my birthday. His stomach flipped the week before and caused irreparable damage. He'd already had it turn a few years ago. My mum went to pick him up and the vet told her he wasn't going to recover and was in pain. I got a phone call on my way to work where she was distraught. Thankfully my manager was incredible and let me use a sick day to go home.


I had to arrange the home visit to put him to sleep because my mum couldn't do it. I called my dad to tell him (my parents are divorced and he hadn't seen the dog in years.) I arranged everything so he could be brought home and go to sleep peacefully with me, my mum, and my sister. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My birthday is two weeks before Christmas and I'd already got him a present.

This big goofball got me through my parents' divorce and the hardest breakup I've been through. I'm in my late twenties and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

- pungeonmaster

Knock Knock

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High school one year, my birthday fell on thanksgiving. It was my birthday AND thanksgiving and my boyfriend dumped me. Through text. Using a knock knock joke

The joke was as follows:


Him: Knock Knock

Me: Who's there?

Him: Single

Me: Single who?

Him: Single you.

He was not very clever, but he did tell the whole school about it proudly

- ccc2373

Wasting Money

On my 6th birthday my dad openly said on the phone he wished I wasn't born so he didn't have to waste money on me. He didn't know I heard him then got mad when I said I wanted to go back to my moms.

Yeah we didn't get along for a long time.

- Onemeanlisp

Newlywed Flu

Four months after our wedding, my ex husband told me he had a "football practice." He then proceeded to get obliterated at a bar, blocked me from calling him, slept with another woman and came home at 5am on my birthday. He was so messed up the next day, I had to pretend like he had the flu to my family who drove into town to see me.


My whole birthday was spent trying not to cry and imagine what he'd been up to, faking like we were the happy newlyweds everyone expected us to be. No gift, no "happy birthday", no explanation until years later when he confessed. Just me wondering what I did to deserve it all.

- HodorTheGreatDane

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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