Being an educator is not for the faint of heart. Being a teacher takes discipline, hard work, nerves of steel, a quick mind and a daily case of Merlot. Just don't guzzle the Merlot on school grounds. While in front of students teachers have to be aware of their surroundings and think before they speak, even if it means stifling some truth. But once and awhile some teachers tend to let loose the thoughts and the tongue and the drama afterwords is always entertaining.
Redditor u/UNIQUE-USERNAME-853 wanted to know who has been left stunned by their educators by asking them to reveal.... Users of reddit what is the worst thing your teacher has ever said in front of a class?
RIP
cindy brady smh GIF by HULU
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"At least half of you will be dead by the time you reach 20 years old" to a class of 11 year olds...
I once had a teacher (between 4-6 grade, not sure) say that about 1/4 of us would die before the end of high school, statistically speaking.
I've been lucky enough to not have any of my friends die, yet. i-hate-this-life
Sex Education
During English class we were watching Tomorrow When the War began. Those of you who have seen the movie know they start the movie talking about sex.
The teacher goes, 'Sex is not that great, I have actually not had sex' He's a full 30 year old man and says that to a bunch of 13-14 year olds.
Those were the days....
Too Soon
The father of a class-mate died in a motorcycle accident, he went into a corner too fast and crashed into a tree.
A couple of days after the accident (which was the first day my class-mate went to school again), our physics teacher decided that it is a good moment to teach the "speed doesn't kill you, acceleration does"-lesson. With the example of a motorcycle driving into a tree.
Language...
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During one year of high school in a bio class, the students were fooling around in class not doing their work and the young (had to be in her late 20s) professor yelled "you all stop jerking off!" Then turned red as she realized what she had just said.
You can only imagine how that went in a room full of 16-17 year olds lol.
Shut Up Teach....
Class mate explained he couldn't get through the 20-page assignment in time due to his dyslexia, Old-timey teacher says " there's no such thing, you're just lazy".
Only about 6 or 7 years ago, too.
I had a history teacher who would take points off for every spelling mistake. My dyslexic friend basically had to beg him to exempt him from that rule.
Boys are dumb....
I had a Spanish teacher who was either extremely inappropriate or extremely oblivious (with him, it is legitimately hard to tell, he may actually not have known). He was talking about how you make flan one day and how you take the ingredients mix them together then you "BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT BEAT IT" along with a hand motion. The boys in class thought this was hilarious so they would continually ask him how to make flan, so he would tell them.
Honestly, he could have just been completely oblivious and was thinking "Hey, the students are smiling, cool, I'm a good teacher". My family had had to deal with his teaching for decades so we know he never learned a thing about students.
Oh Well
Mtv Awards 2019 Whatever GIF by MTV Movie & TV Awards
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Worst thing and also best thing. History class. Kid punches the kid in front of him in the back of the head. Teacher sees this and says, "now he's gonna punch you in the head and your all gonna sit there and watch because there's nothing you can do about it".
Daddy Issues....
I had a prof that had given us an in class assignment. He was a sh!tty teacher and we were first year students so we didn't finish it and he told us to take it home and finish it and when we were done to "bring to me. Bring it to daddy." He was Greek and didn't know the context, but he was the head of the department so we all held back our giggles and left.
License & Registration
drunk alcohol GIF by TV Land
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I had an art teacher that got caught drinking. Apparently someone from the previous period told on her. The vice principal came into our class and told her to come with him. We all heard her yell "they drove me to drink" from the hallway.
One of the art teachers at my high school openly talked about drinking in class and dared the administration to fire him. "I'm not here because I need the money, I'm here because I enjoy it. This is how I keep enjoying it."
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Well that was a close call. That is everyone's main life mantra. If you really think about it, you'll know it to be true. Everyday we live, is another day we've survived, and death isn't the only thing we frequently sidestep. I have lost track of the amount of times my heart has almost gotten me into trouble. If I had been able to be with the people I thought I wanted in the past, I'd be in a mental ward right about now. Dodging a bullet doesn't even begin to cover it.
Redditor u/Not-an-Ocelot wanted to hear about the times that have made people give some extra thanks by asking... What's the biggest bullet you've ever dodged?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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<p>Life is a field of landmines and we're just whimsically shuffling along. We have to be really. There is no way to always be prepared for everything at every second. That's why we should always do the simple part well... <em>pay attention.</em> Heed the red flags, throw down the white when necessary. Allow some folks to explain. </p>
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Pay Attention
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQyNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3MTEyMDI3OH0.BmVGAHwjbS_vMDkx2jetH_zBsPpphZ3tZp5VJjeyhD4/img.gif?width=980" id="0dcaa" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0ab54e83bfb77d5fefdb176242259411" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="275" />joe jonas relief GIFGiphy<p>I was a teen driver not paying attention at an intersection at the crest of a hill with low visibility when the light turned green. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The car behind me honked and just as I was about to go a truck barrelled through the red light on the perpendicular road at decidedly ludicrous speed. If I had been paying attention and gone when the light turned green, I very likely would have been T-boned to death. Closest call I've ever had.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohlf02?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">OrchidMouse</a></p>
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A Passed Mandate
<p>This one just materialized yesterday, actually.</p><p>About a year ago at my job I was offered to switch from my current team where I was established for a few years, had seniority, etc. for a new department that just started to kick it off, write processes, basically start from square 1. A lot more work for the same amount of pay. I figured forget it and went.<span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Yesterday they announced that they just closed the physical HQ office for my old department, and everyone in that entire part of the company would have to either move to one of 14 random states (that we cant pick, its chosen basically by a roulette wheel for where you're going) to a local office, or they're going to be fired on June 22. Thankfully since I'm part of the new department, I wasn't included in that mandate. Phew. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohy0s9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CocoaDMocha</a></p>
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Too Many Idiots
<p>I took my wife to an indoor shooting range in 2014. I had been at this range many times, and safety was always their top priority. They made you sit through a safety video, take a quiz, and get a temporary certification before they allowed you onto the range.</p><ul><li>Place got really busy and their safety policy became less stringent as time went on.</li><li>I noticed that the lane next to us had 3 people in it (already a violation).</li><li>Two big guys and one tiny woman probably her in 20's. They were handing her various firearms and laughing when she couldn't handle the recoil (big violation there, and incredibly irresponsible).</li><li>This girl was muzzle-sweeping everyone (another huge violation)</li><li>I got a bad feeling, told my wife to pack it up because we were leaving</li><li>As soon as we started walking away, BANG, that girl had fired a round right where my wife was standing just a few seconds prior</li><li>I told the range officers that they needed to get in there and do something about those idiots, and that we weren't coming back</li></ul><p>I have only been to a range a few times since that happened, and now I don't even go at all. Too many idiots. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohqu3v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> A_Garbage_Account</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/A_Garbage_Account/" target="_blank"></a></p>buzz CRACK buzz...
<p>I was out kayaking on a lake and several bullets whizzed by me. There was a distinct <em>buzz CRACK buzz</em> sound as it went by. I think some people were just out plinking in their back yard, adjacent to the lake, and didn't think a backstop was necessary. This also happened to me a few weeks later when I was paddling on a small stream. Bullets whizzed by above the bank, just over my head. <span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I don't think anyone knew I was there either time. Regardless, when you go out and shoot stuff, make sure there's a backstop, ffs. Also, I don't know how big the bullets were, so I'm unsure which was the biggest bullet dodged. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohxpgi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">FestoonedDubloon</a></p>
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<p>Well that was a lot to digest and ponder. And also... I may need a Xanax. But we can stay positive, everyone of those people lived to tell the tale. Personally, I don't think there is a number high enough to count how many car accidents I and many others have avoided. Thank you Jesus. Prayer seems to have gone a long way for these people. </p>
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Flight 103
<p>I was booked on Pan Am flight 103 which went down over Locherbie Scotland. I didn't have a premonition or anything supernatural. I just decided to cancel my seat. Didn't think anything of it until the plane went down and my mother had written down my flight plan and reminded me. This was back in the day when you could cancel without a penalty up to a couple of days in advance.</p><p><strong><em>EDIT: </em></strong>You Know, when I posted my response I didn't realize how many comments I would get that involved people who were impacted by this sad event. <span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>On any given day, we make decisions (for no concrete reason really, like... I just chose not to go that day) and we come to learn it was a good decision. I try not to evaluate my decision because I don't want to affect my future decisions by second guessing or trying to 'work the odds'. This is only one example of times that I dodged a significant bullet. (I wrote a different post, but erased it before I hit save). </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohz19s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">whatshaisays</a></p>
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Zapped
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDQ0MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NDY0MjY1MX0.Dj7w7DePtmC1CgiaJwmNIifD129RWS3T3j5acsHBIiU/img.gif?width=980" id="d6220" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b7cea1508bfde66080975250c5e9dcf1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="266" />Season 4 Zap GIF by Rick and MortyGiphy<p>I was subletting an apartment in college and got zapped by the electric stove. Gave notice immediately and moved out with very clear reasons why I was moving out. The building burnt a few weeks later. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/goi3ew7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sadandshy</a></p>Katrina
<p>2005, my friend and I evacuated New Orleans 2 days before Hurricane Katrina and drove to Mississippi with the little money we had. We were trying to decided on where to stay for the night and it was between a mid range hotel or the really cheap motel. Decided to spend a little more for the hotel. During the night the eye of the storm came through Mississippi and flattened the roof of the motel we decided against. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohyomx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">kylexy929</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Delete Tinder
<p>I matched with a guy on Tinder who played for the Atlanta Falcons. He was really charming and seemed nice. He asked me to fly down to Atlantic City for Memorial Day weekend, said he would pay for everything (airfare, hotel, food, etc.) but I had never met him before and he refused to give me his phone number. I was uncomfortable flying to meet a stranger so I told him no. Two weeks later he was on the news for kicking (and killing) his girlfriend's dog. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohwwcf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldestjeans67</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong><em>Life lesson #3005...</em></strong> try not to become an episode of Dateline NBC. And being a local news isn't always fun either. Granted disaster and horror is going to happen but let's do all the avoiding possible. Being the one to walk away is always best. take it from experience. </p>
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A Yamaha Pancake
<p>Physically? A bus. I grew up in Bermuda, and since it is such a small island cars are limited to one per family, and everyone drives mopeds. I was driving into town, and came up to a red light behind a bus. As is tradition, I scooted around the bus to be in the front of the line of traffic. Literally 2 seconds later a second bus smashed into the back of the first bus at like 30 mph.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I would have been pancaked. Without question, 100% dead. I just sat on the side of the road for a bit and thought about my mortality.</p><p>My only other Bermuda bus based encounter was driving home from my first job in the rain. An oncoming bus in the opposite lane went through a massive puddle and sent what looked like a tidal wave of water right at me. It literally picked me and my little yamaha v 50 right up and swept us off the road onto some grass. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohn538?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">awtcurtis</a></p>
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D-I-V-O-R-C-E
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDM0Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNTg5MDA0M30.mkwHiDROST0_hPO3i_EgY_PCWrX60u9MZ-c4FzHjZz0/img.gif?width=980" id="aa6ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="99ab09a1baf770607fa2d8286e6a574b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="281" />phaedra parks bye felicia GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy<p>My ex.</p><p>He got engaged right after me and proceeded to cheat on her the entire time until she broke up with him. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/gohy29x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PlamEv</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Oh man, after reading all of that it's a wonder anyone lives to be a senior citizen and now we've got Covid. Be careful out there my peeps. Stay vigilant and wash your hands. Just don't wash them in a shady gas station restroom in darkly lit areas. A little red flag to think about. </p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqjmm8/whats_the_biggest_bullet_youve_ever_dodged/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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When your time is up, your time is up. And when we march off into the afterlife it feels like everyone wants one of two or two things. People want to go out in a blaze of glory and/or in peace and without pain. I don't know if both is possible but I'll choose option two please. What I know for sure is I definitely don't want to be smoted by a stupid death. Like, Lord, please don't let me die choking on fried chicken and an XL frozen Appletini at the Dallas BBQ because I was laughing to hard at my own jokes. Please.
Redditor u/BlueD_ wanted everyone to fess up about the times they almost met their maker in a less than dignified manner by asking... What's the dumbest way you almost died?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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<p>We have to admit: there are times when we're watching the news, or we get an unfortunate phone call and a death is announced, and at first it's a somber feeling but then we learn the story about said person'e demise and... you can't help but stifle a chuckle. It happens. You just hope you're never the punchline. Case in point, imagine if...</p>
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Torn...
<p>Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it.</p><p>Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktz0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GottaGoSmash</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Lump
<p>Born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway. It was so bad that I was turning purple from air loss by 3 months old, but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump. Almost died to complete incompetence, thankfully the people at children's were much more capable. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktt1d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Leroy_Spankinz</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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So Wrong...
<p>I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark.</p><p>Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height.</p><p>You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down? I'm pretty sure that happened to me.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and I'm pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper I would have got the important arteries lol</p><p>I could be wrong though. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvdrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nimbleturtles</a></p>
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<p>See now sometimes this is why death is the thing of nightmares. More often than not its not about death itself; its about the journey on the way out. Life is already stressful enough, always looking both ways, and not stepping on cracks. How can I be alert for literally anything and everything all at once?</p>
the baby....
<p>I was born super premature and would apparently never stop crying and every doctor was just like "she's a baby, she's crying just because" until my parents took me to the children's hospital and then a doctor was like "yeah, she's dying. Surgery now." I was born with a double hernia. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnm5xj4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> vampyreprincess</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/vampyreprincess/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Just Walk
<p>Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards.</p><p>Don't run in abandoned buildings. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnl26xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldnymph</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Evil Mango
<p>When I was 19, I ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat. I started to choke. I found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk. My brother did the heimlich manuever on me and the mango came out. I laughed about it a minute later because imagine "defeated by mango" written as your reason for death. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkx7o3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Spiderman230</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spiderman230/" target="_blank"></a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>When I was three, I nearly choked to death on a piece of pineapple. I was throwing chunks into the air and catching them with my mouth like a seagull. Can you imagine that obituary? No one would've imagined me in advanced classes years later. I feel others here can relate. </p>
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The Day is Out
<p>Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest.</p><p>I called it a day after that. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkzi1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ProbablyYourButt</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Do Vodka
<p>I was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum. I woke up covered in vomit all over my bed, I had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep. I was alone.</p><p>I could have choked on my spew and died.</p><p>I avoid rum now. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlcg7n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">writingwithmovement</a></p>NEVER!
<p>I felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away. By the time I asked to go to the hospital I was in Sepsis. I was out of my head in pain, couldn't eat, high fever, etc.</p><p>Apparently I had a bout with diverticulitis. I had no idea what that was. Mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane. The perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity. They didn't do surgery, they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the 'death sludge' from my body. My kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down. I'll never forget that pain for as long as I live.<span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I was on mega antibiotics and it saved my life. Even after leaving the hospital I was on antibiotics for another 2 weeks. Had this happened to me several years ago they would have had me in surgery and I would have had some of my colon removed and I would have had a colostomy bag. :-(<br></p><p>But, these days they hit you with tons of antibiotics and they've been having success.</p><p>I learned to never lay in bed for a week with pain like that. Never again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkddb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">moviesandcats</a></p>
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In the Shallow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4MDY0OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDAxOTk3Mn0.UFH9fBx9qg1viY44abzSICqYdsMRrU2ep9zMiWwgRIc/img.gif?width=980" id="c2bd9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ea60e1b2ffcfafbe156c7564d4eccb5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Lady Gaga Oscars GIF by SkyGiphy<p>Played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out.</p><p>the next day my parents bought me floaties. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArnoNyhm44</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Of course the best deaths are tv deaths. Some can be viewed as absurdist comedy but then fiction is often based on some reality. Do yourselves a favor and watch <em>"Chuckles Bites the Dust"</em> from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. We've all been Mary at a funeral. Just pray you never become a Chuckles. And for extra credit watch Hilary's fiancée Trevor die on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Ouch. </p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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People Explain Which Things They Changed In Their Life That Made It So Much Better
February 24 | 2021
We may not know it, but sometimes things that seem routine or are just one of our personal habits can really hold back our lives.
One little change to cut those things, or to include new things, can really change the quality of our lives for the better. We have to be willing to drop old routines, which is hard and scary; and we need to be willing to accept new ideas into our space, which is also hard and scary.
<p>But the risk is almost always worth the reward, in this case.</p><p>u/Jimmyb_3333 asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/loo05u/what_changed_in_your_life_that_made_it_so_much/" target="_blank">What changed in your life that made it so much better?</a><br></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p><p><br></p>
<p><strong>So what is it that you need in your life? Is it a new habit? A new place to travel? To tell someone you love them?</strong><br></p><p><strong>Take this as a sign that you should do it.</strong></p>
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New Body Parts
<p>The kidney transplant I just received on Monday (Feb 15, 2021).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/wanderingwiccan/" target="_blank">wanderingwiccan</a></p><p>It's amazing isn't it? Going on 17 years with mine and couldn't agree more. I'll never forget how miserable I was when my kidneys were failing and I started dialysis. </p><p>Those memories serve as added motivation to keep healthy now. Life is good. Best wishes to you moving forward!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/realTurdFergusun/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">realTurdFergusun</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Out Vs. In
<p>Giving up on trying to cure being a introvert and just being happy</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RedditerAbc123/" target="_blank">RedditerAbc123</a></p><p>Introverts have just as much fun there are just fewer witnesses</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/minisis85/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">minisis85</a></p><p>Accepting yourself is truly liberating.</p><p>There's one important aspect of being an introvert or extrovert. As an introvert, you recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people.</p><p>I occasionally enjoy being around people, and I'm good at being social. I even perform music in public. However, when I'm done with all that, I go home and have to unwind. If I go long periods of time without enough alone time, I start getting progressively more irritated and frustrated.</p><p>I actually feel happy and at peace when I'm alone. Other people will tell me they feel lonely, or like their apartment feels empty. For me it's a direct source of happiness, this isolation and peace. I don't want a family, a partner or even pets. I don't even like hearing neighbors around. Solitude is freedom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sunsetdive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sunsetdive</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Git That Mental Health
<p>I did therapy for around three years, and I recommend it to folks to try at least once in their life. It can take a little time, as a lot of it comes down to having the right therapist who can get through to you, (advice: if you need to switch to a diff. Therapist or, at any time want to simply take a week or two off, during the process- voice that to your therapist.)</p><p>Wishing you all the best on your journey, there were times I'd second guess myself if it was "working" right away, but trust the process, you'll take a lot from the experience & learn a ton about yourself!</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Puzzleheaded_Stress7/" target="_blank">Puzzleheaded_Stress7</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>All it takes is one simple action for your life to change forever.</strong></p>
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I Am Not Everybody's Parent
<p>I stopped caring so much.</p><p>For as long as I remember I've felt a burden of responsibility to my parents, my brother, to myself. Throughout my whole life my parents have relied on me to be the voice of reason, to be the one who has sound mind, to be the one good with finances, to give them advice. It's not healthy for a kid to be put under that kind of pressure, and it just built and built until they filed for bankruptcy in 2017, and when I burned out at work last year.</p><p>I went to therapy for a bit (for the 3rd time lol) after I burned out and realized that I'm putting up such a high bar of responsibility for myself and it makes, and made, my life ridiculously miserable.</p><p>I'm still working and going to school, but having a more relaxed attitude and almost forcing myself to procrastinate on my schoolwork has made my life so much more enjoyable.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CozysMyName/" target="_blank">CozysMyName</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Superpower Of Sobriety
<p>Quitting alcohol. My life has completely changed in only the best ways. Most notably Ive accomplished all of my dreams.</p><p> I went back to school and earned my bachelor's, found the love of my life and got married, lost a bunch of weight and somehow look like I've aged backwards. Now my only problem is coming up with new dreams.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Billlliejean/" target="_blank">Billlliejean</a></p>A Career Separate From Hostile Energy
<p>For years I was convinced I chose the wrong career, and I was getting extreme anxiety, had to pull the car over a couple times going to work because of panic attacks. </p><p>Lockdown happens a year ago and all my stress disappeared and I realized I love my career, I just HATE office living and commuting. My biggest fear is the pandemic ending and being forced back into that terrible office culture.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/feral_philosopher/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">feral_philosopher</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Just Space To Remember
<p>I've found that journaling helps me remember stuff a lot better. Also, on bad days, I get the catharsis of ranting without having to subject one of my friends to it. </p><p>I can also look back on past events and maybe figure out how I can do things differently or just reminisce. </p><p>Getting my feelings on paper or even a word document helps me deal with things, somehow. I stopped when things got real around last March since writing "I didn't do much today" every day was getting old.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Soulfire1123/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Soulfire1123</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>It almost feels like the missing puzzle piece that could make everything in your life work was there all along, you just needed to put it in the puzzle.</strong></p>
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Just A Better Life
<p>My biological mother is an abusive drug addicted, alcoholic who put everything, including her other daughter, above her youngest child. </p><p>When i was 11, child services placed me with my Dad and his partner (my Mum, for all purposes of the word except birthing.) </p><p>In Australia, previously I was in N.Z. Its been a bumpy road, but I'm now 19, living out of home, have my license, own car, stable job and am studying at uni. I couldn't have done it without my parents, and i have the loving, caring, supportive Mum I craved as a child.</p><p>There was ten minutes where i didnt know if i was going into foster care or with my Dad, and it was the scariest ten minutes of my life, but ultimately that decision was the best thing that happened to me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lildee_19/" target="_blank">lildee_19</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Physical = Mental
<p>Losing a significant amount of weight. My overall health is so much better. I sleep like the dead every night, when before I suffered badly from insomnia. </p><p>My blood pressure has come down to normal levels. I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I have cut back on the amount of medication I have to take, which obviously means I have money to spend that I didn't before. </p><p>I love exercising, even when I was morbidly obese, I enjoyed walking. Now I enjoy walking and I can walk so much further and faster than I could before. Another thing is the major change in my mental health. I was in a very dark space, and I realized the other day how much more positive my outlook in life has become.</p><p>10/10 reccomend. My journey has been slow, but it has been so worth it!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Smart-Connection6154/" target="_blank">Smart-Connection6154</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Partnership For The Ages
<p>Finally telling my best friend that I was in love with them. We've been dating for two years now and every moment is like living in a dream. They're sitting next to me right now cluelessly singing out loud with headphones in and I'm OBSESSED.</p><p>Also, Covid has allowed me to drive around the country while working remotely and actually do a lot of the hikes that have always been on my bucket list. It really changed my life by reaffirming my long term goals (stay healthy, get outdoors when I can).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sodapuppy/" target="_blank">sodapuppy</a></p>
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Wedding Industry Professionals Break Down How They Knew A Couple Was Destined For Divorce
February 24 | 2021
The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.
<p>And sometimes, those minutiae present some serious red flags for the future of that relationship after the vows are exchanged, the decorations stowed away, and life goes on. </p><p>Lucky for us, some of those industry professionals use Reddit, and they shared the sauciest tales from the world of ominous weddings. </p><p>Justhearmeoit asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought 'this ends in divorce?' Why?"</a></p>
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<p>Some people chose to share about the times when the problems of the relationship weren't subtle at all. They talked about full on arguments and fights that occurred. </p><p>Needless to say, it was clear to these professionals where things were headed for the couple. </p>
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Same-Day Annulment Service?
<p>"They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all. </p><p>"The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night."</p><p>"The word 'annulment' was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy sh**."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofrkw5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pm_me_your_molars</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Damn the Torpedoes, Going Through With it Anyway
<p>"I work and in a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom."</p><p>"At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby."</p><p>"Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day."</p><p>"They still got married."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofqmg0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mesembryanthemum</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Zero Investment, Just Another Workday
<p>"I used to work at a popular wedding venue. Bride and groom came in the day before for rehearsal, checked the decorations, and played a sweet video of the couple, standard wedding bullsh**."</p><p>"Next day, bride and groom arrived fighting the entire time until reception where the groom proceeded to drink himself blind before speeches and had to be carried out, didn't even get to play that video."</p><p>"It was the best shift ever, got to go home early and take home a bunch of food already paid for."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofktsp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ihatepeasoup</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>In a few cases, the couple itself actually seemed quite strong and loving. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that matters. </p><p>Marriage unites entire families, for better or worse. </p>
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Water and Oil
<p>"A few times as a photographer. The couple were usually fine, the families themselves were too different and combative." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofjuji?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AnchorBuddy</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;"><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofjuji?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>"Oh my god yes. My and my fiance would be married by now if the idea of our families actually meeting wasn't absolutely horrifying." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog9q1t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">elkwaffle</a><span></span></p>Horrible Moment to Bring That Up For First Time
<p>"When the bride and groom argued over why the groom's mother shouldn't get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofn53u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JoeEIRE</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Hahaha my ex tried to convince me to let his mum take the money that night and we'd collect it the next afternoon when we got back from our hotel stay. Fat chance I'd let the extreme gamblers hold on to that much cash." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog2wl0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">chanzii</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Love is Earned
<p>"I've been the DJ at a few hundred weddings. There was drama at most of them in some way. One in particular broke out into an old school saloon style fight like in the old 'Western' movies."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure that one didn't last."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/goflnx2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Birdapotamus</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Familial Omens
<p>"Was at a friend's wedding once, it was at the justice of the peace, when the judge or officiant came around to if anyone doesn't believe in the union to speak up or forever hold your peace, a loud 'UH-OH' came shrieking from the back."</p><p>"It was my friends 2 Year old son, everybody was joking saying it was a sign. Less than a year later the couple got divorced."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gogbpxn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SamLJacksonNarrator</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>And finally, sometimes a lack of commitment and fidelity is screaming from the face--or even lips--of the bride or groom. In word and action, some people play with fire on the wedding day, and show their cards. </p><p>I suppose it is better to know that earlier than later. </p>
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Ogling in the Wrong Direction
<p>"Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives."</p><p>"You look over and it's a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms."</p><p>"Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn't last 6 months from what I've heard."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gogg8xm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Twitfried</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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So Everyone's Up to Speed
<p>"I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions."</p><p>I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on."</p><p>"How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with 'well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband.' "</p><p>"I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying 'did you get that? Tell me you got that.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog0ifw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Scoobymaybe</a></p>Yup, That'll Do It
<p>"I work for a catering company..."</p><p>"I knew they were going to get a divorce as soon as the bride started grinding on the best man when the groom was puking his guts out in the corner."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofvs7l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shallotthot</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Of course, it would be wonderful to feel assured that all weddings go off without a hitch and lead to a long term, loving relationship. </p><p>But let's be honest, that's not reality. Sometimes the event is a calamity. Apparently, sometimes the partnership itself is a calamity. </p><p>And this is the internet, so those are the stories people love to talk about. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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