There's nothing quite like unleashing a gale of laughter. It's soothing, it's cathartic, it brightens your mood.
But timing is everything, don't you know? You should probably watch who, what, and where you laugh... just in case.
After Redditor Mircalenik209 asked the online community, "When was there a time where you shouldn't have laughed at something, but you did?" people shared their experiences. They're pretty hilarious, if we say so ourselves.
"When I was a student nurse..."
When I was a student nurse I was asked to tell a patient that his daughter couldn't come visit him because she fell down the stairs and had broken both her arms. I could barely contain myself, because the patient was there because he had broken both his arms.
"So to distract myself from crying..."
I laughed at my grandfather's funeral. Didn't shed a tear. It lead to few people ( neighbors , not family , fam knows what happened) thinking I did something bad to him.
My grandfather was bed ridden for 16 years ( his left side of the body was paralyzed) , I was 17 so basically all my life I've seen him bed ridden. And he was my best friend. He asked me not to cry and always think that God took him because he couldn't see him suffer anymore and wherever he's going he'll be happy. So to distract myself from crying I started thinking about all the good times we had and ended up laughing at one such memory. So yeah that was pretty terrible.
"His mom goes up..."
My friend's memorial service. He passed away at only 24. Obviously it's really somber and everyone is crying, his mom goes up to speak. One of my best friends who was one of his best friends used to joke about wanting to sleep with his mom. It was an ongoing dialect between them that was really hilarious.
His mom goes up, starts talking and he whispers "I still really want to motorboat your moms tits dude". Like four of us just lost it. It was extremely inappropriate and EVERYONE stopped and just looked at us. I tried to pretend I was crying to ease the tension.
Rest easy Chris, we all miss you.
"I buried my face in my hands..."
It happens to me more than I care to admit, but the worst time was at my brother's memorial. An aunt we had, who was a very nice person, had got religion recently and decided to sing a gospel song. The problem was she couldn't sing at all. She got up, with no backing music and sang a really out of tune gospel song. The worst part was she took really long pauses between some of the lyrics, so people started to clap thinking she was done with the song. She wasn't. This went on for like 5 minutes. She would pause, people would start to slow clap, then she would start caterwauling again. I buried my face in my hands and people sitting behind me started consoling me because they thought I was overcome with emotion, as my shoulders were shaking violently. I did have tears running down my face though.
I still feel very bad about this.
"In high school..."
In high school we watched a play where a girl dies of a drug overdose. The girl playing the part was way over dramatic, really chewing up the scenery, and when she finally collapsed dead on her bed the theater was dead silent. A kid in the audience yelled out "oh well" and the place exploded with laughter.
"At my Uncle Bill's funeral..."
At my Uncle Bill's funeral, my Aunt Mary claimed that she had "cared for him in his darkest times". I let out a solid "HA!". Everyone turned towards me. I finished with an uncontrollable giggle, poorly hidden behind my hand and a wad of tissues. No regerts. RIP Uncle Bill. 12/17/19.
When I was a kid I often found myself laughing at the most inappropriate reasons at things that were often not funny...
Case in point:
In 5th grade my class went on a field trip to see a Japanese Taiko drum performance at a local theater.
It was SO COOL, I was taken aback by how powerful the drums were.
About halfway through the performance one of the younger uber muscular Japanese American drummers came to the front of the stage and in a deep bass voice told us how he was going to sing us a song that his now dead grandfather taught him years ago. He started to tear up and rubbed away the tears.
He started singing.
It was in falsetto.
I'm not sure what it was, the song was BEAUTIFUL! but for whatever reason I felt an uncomfortable smile start forming on my lips. I panicked and internally started screaming "WHYNOW!?!WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY???" My lips parted to show my teeth and I giggled.
My teacher shot me a look and tutted under her breath and several of the girls next to me whispered that I was showing my true colors.
THE SONG WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I never felt so betrayed by my body in my young life.
Years later I still think about that moment.
"In boot camp..."
In boot camp, I laughed at another recruit who was getting yelled at, because they were screaming some pretty funny s*** at him. Then they turned around to me...
"I started covering my mouth..."
Back when I was around 10-11 (ish), my family went to a funeral for an aunt that passed away due to cancer. My dad wasn't really close to/liked that aunt in particular (personal issues that are too boring to go into detail) but he still went to the funeral. He wasn't making a scene or talking bad about her or anything, he was just mainly keeping to himself.
So, during a moment of silence, my cousin (her daughter) started singing the Ave Maria as an eulogy (I guess) while everyone was sitting. Quietly, dad started mock-singing in a very high-pitch tone (quiet enough not to be heard by anyone around, loud enough to be heard by me, sitting by his side).
I started covering my mouth cause I wanted to laught so hard. The more I tried to contain myself the more my dad did the high-pitch singing, up to the point that my eyes were teary. Another aunt behind me saw me; bent over, holding my stomach and my mouth and I guess she thought I was crying. She leaned over and said: "Don't worry honey, she's in a better place."
I lost my s***. I lost it so bad. It was one of those laughing fits that the more you try to contain yourself, the more you laugh. Even my cousin stopped singing and just looked at me as if I had kill her mom myself. I excused myself and got out of there fast. I waited for the rest of my family inside the car while my the rest of the family just stared daggers at me.
During the car ride, I had to explain to my mom and my sister that my dad was the one who made me laugh. My dad just answered: "she's lucky I didn't bring my trombone and do the "wa-wa" while they were putting her on the ground."
"They asked to see my manager..."
I was 18-20 and working at a department store. 3 men walked up to me and struck up a conversation while buying white button up shirts.
Apparently they were buying matching shirts for a wedding. They asked if there was a child's suit section. One of them added "The best man lost so much weight..." I cut off the sentence with a chuckle, and he finished "that he died." and looked at me like I was a monster.
They all looked really sad or mad depending on who you looked at. They apparently were going to buy a suit for the son of the deceased that was stepping in for him.
They asked to see my manager and she was really disappointed in me for laughing at a story like that. I did my best to tell her that I had no idea it was something terrible like that and I was just laughing since I thought he lost so much weight he needed a kids suit. She didn't really buy it and she didn't respect me after that.
"LOL"emoji laughing GIF by Twitter Giphy
My dad, using 9 "laughing tears" emojis to announce that our family cat whom we love dearly had passed away.
My sister and I at our uncles funeral. Our uncles brother-in-law started singing it was bad. Sister and I looked at each other with big stupid 'what the heck' eyes. We both cracked up but tried to play it off as crying. She and I had always been the ones to laugh at awkward situations.
"Dear Ms Smith"
My daughter's teacher's mom died, and the sub had all of the kids make cards and asked me to drop them off, as she lived near me. I was chatting with the teacher as she looked through them and she burst out laughing and handed me one- "Dear Ms Smith, I'm sorry about your mom, but hey, we all gotta go sometime."
When my uncle died, his casket was being lowered into the ground, and my cousin threw a flower onto the coffin and said 'from Cornwall with love', and I started laughing because it sounded like the worst James Bond film ever.
I didn't "laugh" but when I used to get uncomfortable my facial expression would look like I was smiling. I did it when my teacher was telling a sob story about herself. She got furious because she thought I was making fun of her and tried to get my family to send me off to a living facility for mentally challenged children.
"WEEEEE"titanic GIF Giphy
I laughed the first time I watched titanic since my brother was going "WEEEEEE" when the boat tilted and people were sliding down it.
Anything at the library. Stuff didn't even have to be really funny, the fact that you needed to be quiet and this not allowed to laugh was insane. You tried to suppress it but the more you do, the funnier it gets until you just have to run outside and burst into laughter because the last name of a book's author sounded like.... a fart."
"there is nothing funny about this"
Once, a friend of mine got ACL reconstruction surgery and nearly died. They had mixed up the anesthesia for the spinal block and instead given her an emergency coagulant. She started having really bad seizures on the operating table and the doctors quickly put her in an induced coma. This lasted for two weeks (felt like a freaking eternity), during which they said they had no idea if the damage to her brain or other organs was permanent, or if she would ever wake up again.
The day it happened, I ended up leaving work early because I couldn't think straight, and as a result I missed a meeting I was supposed to go to. It wasn't a big deal but I had promised I would be there. The next day, a coworker asked me why I wasn't at the meeting. As I began to say that my friend was in a coma and we had no idea how bad it was but she may never wake up again, I started laughing uncontrollably. I even tried to say "there is nothing funny about this," but I just kept laughing and the coworker just looked at me in shock and confusion. I was pretty confused myself; I have never had that happen to me before or since that day. To this day I have no clue if she thought I was making up a ridiculous excuse to miss an unimportant meeting, thought I was a psychopath, or both.
My friend eventually made a full recovery, though she had to go back a second time to get the actual routine surgery she was meant to get in the first place.
EDIT: they gave her a coagulant, not an anticoagulant. If you nick a vein during a surgery and the patient starts to bleed a lot, they inject this stuff to keep them from bleeding out. This is what they accidentally put into her spine instead of anesthesia. Also corrected "spinal tap" to "spinal block." Sorry for my English!
"I'm a Fool"
In my Imperial Russian History course in university, one of the books was written by a guy with the last name "Overy" which sounds the same as "ovary" and I always had to suppress a giggle because I was and am an immature little moron haha.
One time on a school trip, a homeless man came up to me and was asking me for money, and my teacher shouted out (very loudly, in the middle of one of Paris's busiest squares) "don't look him in the eye!" Which made the giggles I was trying to hold in from being so nervous explode out of me. I got a serious telling off (from the same teacher) for "mocking the poor."
"Dear Ma & Pa"Work From Home Kids GIF by MOODMAN Giphy
As a kid I laughed during stressful situations, so I could barely hold it in when my parents were confronting me about almost flunking out of school.
Our entire 7/8 grade class (small catholic school) lost its shit when the teacher decided, in her infinite wisdom, to give a class about "flying buttresses." Every time she said it, we erupted into laughter. I still can't hear the word 22 years later without stifling a laugh.
"Feeling the Feels"
I still laugh during high stress situations. I have it under control but still will laugh as my first reaction to things, before I have time to process it and ponder it.
When my grandfather died when I was 10, my parents picked me up from my aunt and uncle's and went to my grandma. I don't remember all of it, but I remember my dad and I not playing around but he was making me laugh. They did tell me my grandfather died, but I hadn't processed it and just I was laughing.
My grandmother was extremely angry and basically shunned me for a couple of years. When I went home that night and saw the CD that I had borrowed from my grandfather on my desk, I broke down. I was crying hard and was very hurt.
Moral of the story is that my initial reaction may be laughing but it's not my first thoughts and feelings.
"Like a Sack of Potatoes"
Donating blood in college with a friend. We finish and go to the table for snacks where they have people to watch you, to make sure you don't pass out.
Well, my friend is 6'2" or something and meaty. We have a juice box and get ready to go. We both stand up and.... the life drains from his face and falls over like a sack of potatoes.... on top of another much smaller kid. Whelp I lose it and laugh like a hyena (to be faaaaaair I was also a bit light headed and out of it).
A nurse maybeeee 5 ft 100 pounds comes over and starts trying to roll my friend over , who is still unconscious on top of this poor kid who only went there to give blood.
He wakes up a minute later still on top of this dude, and I'm still laughing it up. The nurses then all give me the stink eye like I was somehow at fault here. I'm not a big guy and doubt I'd have been able to help even if I wasn't weak from donating. So I slink out of there with a smile on my face still but trying to hide it from the entire room now watching this scene play out with concern for my friend.
He's fine btw. And I love this story. 10/10 would laugh again.
"I know that Look"
Not me, but while we were watching a documentary about the KKK in school, and a klan member shows the camera his robes, the class weirdo said, "hey, my dad has that same jersey in his closet!" My friend lost it. I mean, he was wheezing and crying of laughter, but he tried to cover It up by pulling his shirt up. The teacher was so tired of him she didn't even care, so she tried to ignore it.
"Face First"Baby Reaction GIF Giphy
Once when I was about, say, four I slammed my face against my driveway knocking out my two front teeth. I was laughing the entire half hour my dad was freaking out with my bloody mouth.
Still to this day I don't know how I was able to laugh when I should've been crying in the scenario.
Edit: why the hell is my most upvoted thing a comment about my yeeting my two front teeth?
At my grandfather's funeral, my uncle named all of the grandkids by name and how they took on certain attributes of my grandfather. He named everyone but my middle brother and when he looked at me to say "WTF!!" I laughed, and so did my other brother.
A friend told me her grandma had terminal cancer, just a few minutes prior something funny had happened and it was still in my head. I started laughing about the funny thing, then realized how unbelievably inappropriate it was to be laughing at that moment, which just made me laugh harder. It was a vicious cycle that ended in a lot of apologizing.
I was in my low teens, maybe 13 or 14, and with my mom in the drive through at taco bell. We had just ordered, and pulled away from the speaker, when mom just.... Rear ends the people in front of us. No real reason other than the fact that mom can't freaking drive worth a crap. Never has been. So there we are, clogging up the line, mom's doing what she's suppose to, and I don't know how much was embarrassment and how much was the ridiculousness and absurdity of it... I MEAN COME ON! REALLY? AT A DAMN SNAIL'S PACE IN THE DRIVE THROUGH, AND ITS NOT LIKE YOU DIDN'T FREAKING SEE THEM!!!!
And mom asks me to look in the glovebox for some paper or other, which I do not find. But I do find a box of tic tac, which for some reason is suddenly hilarious to me, like the icing on the cake, and I cannot stop laughing. I'm certain this pisses mom off to no end, and looking back I feel terrible about it, but I just laughed and laughed, and offered mom a tic tac.
This girl in 8th grade used to pick on me like it was her job and she got everyone on my case too. One day, she was rocking back and forth in her chair and leaned too far back. Before she fell backwards, she threw herself forward and ended up hitting herself in the mouth. She lost 3 of her top front teeth, legit swallowed them. Blood everywhere.
"Windshield Art"waving home alone GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy
My mom picked me up from school during winter. As I got into the car, she started telling me that my dad had a heart attack. However I began laughing, because someone had drawn a massive penis in the snow on a teacher's windshield.
It was so detailed that it took genuine talent. My mom thought I was crying, I just pointed to the penis and she started laughing as well.
I was in an empty mall and I saw some kid run face first into a sign and basically clotheslined himself and I laughed so loud. It echoed through the whole mall. The mom was pissed but I just couldn't help it.
"PIZZA! PIZZA!"tobias funke space GIF Giphy
I watched a kid from a ski lift that definitely was just learning to ski screaming while bombing a slope and a couple seconds later a man following her yelling "PIZZA! PIZZA!" She ended up running into a fence at the bottom and looked okay when I made it down there so I didn't feel as bad laughing anymore.
"Where is my Camera?"
We were going home from school. One of my classmates fell down the stairs like, well, a log. She didn't bend, put a leg or hands forward, nothing. Imagine one person simply rotating forward and falling down the stairs (there were only 3 so she didn't got hurt). She was lucky that only I and a few friends were around to see it and we are good friends with her so we didn't tell it to anyone else too much. I still wish I filmed it
"Hellbound"Funeral GIF by memecandy Giphy
During my grandmother's funeral. The preacher's going on about how we'll see her again in heaven, when my brother leaned over and whispered "but not you."
I work in healthcare. A few years ago I was meeting with a 60-something year-old patient and their family member - both female - who for whatever reason I assumed was her adult daughter since they looked quite alike. We were wrapping up the appointment and were cracking a few light jokes. Addressing the patient's family member, I said something along the lines of "You must get that from your mother", referring to the patient. The patient cocked her head to one side and firmly stated, "She isn't my daughter, she's my sister." Before I had comprehended the gravity of that statement, I reflexively let out a laugh and smile that insinuated, 'that was a funny joke, you look 30 years older than her!'
They did not smile back. The patient proceeded to explain that the person she brought with her to this appointment was her older sister. However, since this patient did not take care of herself and appeared to be generations older than her healthy older sister, I had made the fatal mistake of assuming it was her adult daughter. Needless to say I didn't exactly bounce back from that one and actually felt quite badly for hurting her feelings.
A coworker informed me that he'd be picking up more shifts because he accidentally knocked up a woman he didn't even like.
I snorted, then quickly followed with "sorry that's terrible man".
His own fault. If it's going to rain, put on a raincoat kids.
"That's My Girl"
Yes, and I still feel bad. I came into a co-workers office, saw a picture of this little girl, probably 10-ish. Hair messed up, thick glasses, clothes that had zero chances of matching.
I say to him, "WTF is that" Laughing really hard
He answers "It's my daughter"
I'm like a deer in headlights. I thought it was a possible gag, other's had been placing really weird pictures on peoples desks saying it's family, etc. All as practical jokes. This was no joke.
"CRAZY"crazy nicolas cage GIF Giphy
My friend texted that a kid we went to high school with had died. I think what I meant to reply was "omg that's crazy" and what my phone sent was "hahahalol that's crazy." Upon realizing, I couldn't stop actually laughing.
"Give me a Hand"
I saw a news story about someone walking down the street and found half an arm, hand still attached, on the sidewalk. They picked it up and it was still warm. Contacted police and they said "we've been looking for that!"
Apparently someone was riding in a car with their arm out the window. A random hobo emerges from the brush and cuts off the arm and then throws it somewhere.
Obviously that's not a laughing matter but the sheer randomness of that happening caused me to laugh in surprise.
"I'm a Potty Person"
When I was about 9, my mom found one of my cassette tapes that I used with my tape recorder. It was FULL of potty humor. My mom was SUPER against potty humor.
So, she called me down and my heart SANK when I saw my tape recorder on the table and the look on her face meant I was going to get beat with a belt. I also knew it was coming because she had a belt sitting on the table too.
She told me to sit down and listen to it. And she pressed play. And I had to listen to recordings of me telling stories that were FULL of super creative but gross potty humor stories. Like the worst. While my mom glared at me.
And a few made me start snickering. I couldn't help it. I thought they were just too damn funny, even though I KNEW I was going to get beat worse just for laughing.
"XXXX + 1"
At my great grandmother's funeral, during the eulogy the officiant listed her survivors as "WinifredBarkle and her husband xxxx" this issue being that xxxx was my little brother and we were about 14 and 10 respectively. The whole first row started giggling and people farther back shushed us angrily. It became a running joke that it was official since the pastor said it.
My friend had called me and left a voicemail of my phone. He told me to call ASAP. This was weird because normally he calls me a fool or something on the phone. I end up going to his house since I thought something was wrong. He is sitting there on the chair and his wife was on the couch. He tells me that they are getting a divorce and that they need my help. (I'm an attorney). Well I laugh and say "well it's about time," since I thought he was joking. She ends up busting into tears and had me feeling like an moron.
My wife's grandmother died. There we are in church waiting for things to start, and I noticed they had a wifi router up in the rafters. I made a comment about it because I was sort of surprised to see it (been a while since I had been in a church), and my wife's uncle says "hey do you know why catholics hate wifi? They can't stand the thought of an invisible higher power that actually works." So yeah, right then.
"Air Sickness"Vomit Reaction GIF by moodman Giphy
All.... the.... time! My go to reaction is to laugh. Pissed off a lot of people that way.
Picked up a friend at the airport and she had gotten sick on the plane and threw up everywhere. When she was telling me about it I laughed instead of commiserated with her. Almost lost a friend that day.
I was working as a 4K Assistant Teacher and one of my students had a lot of emotional issues. Swearing, kicking, punching, screaming, etc. if something happened he didn't like.
One day we were having snack, and he'd had a really good morning. It was string cheese for snack and we always encourage the kids to do things for themselves so I asked him to open it himself.
He "tried" to open it and after a few seconds he casually tossed it on the table and said in a completely normal tone, "I freaking hate dis."
The casualness of the word "freaking" coming out of a 4yo's mouth was hilarious to me and I laughed but totally shouldn't have.
A few years back, my sister was doing a play with her theater group. One of her friends was doing a scene or something (idk what the hell they're called), and in this scene, she was walking to the front of the stage and singing. Well she walked off the stage! About a 4 and a half foot fall. Well my dumb fool started laughing so hard I fell out of my front row seat. Little did I know the the girls headset mic had come off her head and landed right in front of me. So Then the whole damn auditorium could hear me wheezing like I was gonna die. Fun times, no regrets!
I laughed at my husband for falling on an ice rink. It was super funny until he said he thought he broke his arm and his poor arm was just dangling there all gross. I felt bad for laughing after that, but he understood.
"Got Wood?"toy story swag GIF Giphy
Christmastime. This little kid got a Woody doll from Toy Story. He was running around telling everyone "Look, I got a woody!"
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Movies' strong focus on creating drama through conflict inevitably has lead to countless on screen deaths.
Some of those movie deaths occur to minor characters we don't care much about (enter Wilhelm Scream). Nonetheless, they can still pack a punch if the manner of the death was gruesome or sad enough.
On the other side of the coin, a death doesn't have to be spectacular to create drama if it happens to a character we've grown to love throughout the film.
And sometimes, a beloved character faces a gruesome end. That's the double whammy.
Redditor Boston_Strong_CQB241 asked:
"Out of all the deaths you seen in movies, which one really stands out to you as the worst?"
Many Redditors recalled the deaths that drew their intensity from the connection they'd felt with the character who did the dying.
And, yes, sometimes the manner of death only heaped on the drama.
"The soldier in Saving Private Ryan that had the knife slowly plunged into his chest after a hand to hand fight and he was begging the other soldier to stop. Intense."
That Etched Wooden Beam
"The old man (Brooks) who hangs himself from The Shawshank Redemption."
" 'Get busy living or get busy dyin.' "
A Very Different Boxing Film
"Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby. Almost becoming World Champion, then paralyzed, her family only caring about the money she won from boxing, then having her limbs chopped off because of bed sores that got infected."
"All this just to be put down as a act of kindness like the story she foretold of her dog she grew up with. I will never watch that movie again."
Stoic Until She Wasn't
"Vesper Lynd drowning in 'Casino Royale.' That moment when she goes serene and calm, to a panicky and frenzied last gasp for air.... that really bothered me."
Others were spooked by the pure violence of some onscreen deaths. They could barely watch the gruesome moments when they erupted.
But now they can't forget them.
Slam, Slam, Slam
"That f**king wine bottle scene in Pan's Labyrinth. The casual brutality is so horribly realistic." -- Darth_Mufasa
"My jaw dropped the first time I saw it and it still haunts me. In fact, that movie gave me nightmares for two weeks" -- TheSilverCrystal
"The curb stomp." -- AUTheatreNerd
"American History X. The curb stomp. It haunts me." -- DigitFisher
"Ryan Reynolds getting his insides eaten out by an Alien in the horror movie Life. It still traumatized me."
And some people recalled the deaths they witnessed as children movie-watchers. All grown up now, they still can't unsee those old images.
"That shoe from Who Framed Roger Rabbit, it was so happy and friendly and then it gets slowly dipped to death. The smoke and its cries of pain are burned into my mind 25+ years later."
"Artax in the swamp of sorrows. Made me cry so much as kid, Atreyo was so hopeless." -- kirby60
"Don't you dare do this to me right now" -- OmgOgan
Multiple Movies' Worth of Sadness
"Stoick from How to Train Your Dragon 2, I still cry every time I even think about it, and the flashbacks in the third movie just break me, great trilogy. Full of emotion and great everything, best Dreamworks movies, in my opinion"
The worst part is that this is only a small handful of the tragic movie moments that are out there. And we have so many unknown future deaths we'll see too.
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It might feel like a challenge to come back at someone who has just insulted you, but it's easier than you think.
What's the most memorable comeback you've heard in your life?
No one knows you like your family, hence why they're usually the one who know the best way to eviscerate you using only their words. Anyone with an older brother and/or sister knows what's going on with these comebacks.
She Can Stay
"My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store I said, "Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, don't forget this". My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, "Oh we won't forget. We're going to tell them to go get grandpa!" Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal."
Got That Sacred "Dad Laugh"
"I don't care if it's self-congratulatory, I'm proud of this one:
"Having dinner with my dad and older sister. I got straight As in school or something, and she's doing the older sibling thing."
"Sister: You may have gotten the book smarts in this family, but *I* got the street smarts."
"Me: The corner doesn't count."
"Dad: *chokes whiles laughing*"
Oh, Good Lord...
"My uncle to my husband. "When are you guys having a kid?"
"My husband. "Please don't ask me about my sex life with your niece"
Like, in public. Where people are. Other people. People you don't know, who might just be going about their day-to-day business, and they just so happen to hear someone being roasted alive?
What's Keeping You Alive, Grandpa?
"Was standing behind these two older adults and this teen girl at the gas station last year. She was on her phone and the guy snapped at her for "not knowing how to live without technology" and without looking up she went "don't you have a pacemaker?".
When The Store Hates You...
"Someone yelled out in a Walmart , "I'm not ashamed of who I am".
"Another voice echoed back, "that's your parents job"
You Would Really Walk Up To Someone You Don't Know And Say This?
"Young pregnant co-worker had a stranger stare disapproving at her in a restaurant, then walk up and say "pregnancy isn't very becoming on you." She replied, "well, being a nosey rude bi*ch isn't becoming on you, but here we are."
And then there's these clapbacks. Unplanned, zero preparation, and with little prior knowledge, there needs to be a call placed to some local medical center with how much damage was done with these comebacks.
If You Pantsed It, Fix It
"My friend got pantsed, underwear and all at a party. Instead of pulling his underwear and pants up, immediately, he just kept going about his business, while hanging dong. Those of us that knew him already thought it was hilarious. The people at the party that didn't know him, looked really uncomfortable due to this dude having his pants and underwear around his ankles, with his wiener hanging freely. Our friend/the host said "dude, why don't you pull your pants up?" Pantsed guy said "I didn't pull them down." Then took his turn in beer pong. The host then found the guy that did pull them down and made him pull our friend's pants back up."
Definitely Seems Like You Got Tricked Here
"When I was working as a bartender one Halloween, I came dressed as an old Western style bartender (complete with mustache and accent). We had the evening split up into a little costume party for kids and families in the earlier hours, and then an adults only costume piss up later on."
"One of the regulars laughed at my costume and said I looked stupid, so I told him"
"You should probably come back after the kids have gone because you've come dressed as a c-nt".
"He didn't talk to me for weeks after that. It was blissful."
That's A Mom Burn! Those Don't Heal!
"I asked my mum out of curiosity what she would do if she found a used condom in my brother's room."
"Her response: "I would remind him that you can't get HIV from your own hand"
"For context, I live in South Africa where HIV is very common"
If you have some ice nearby it might be a good idea to go and grab some.
These burns spread.
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Ghost, zombies, vampires, and other beings of the supernatural are terrifying, and we hope to never encounter them under any circumstances.
But some of the terrors rooted in reality are scarier.
Whether it's a brush with death after hydroplaning on black ice while driving or being held at gunpoint, they are the stuff of true nightmares.
However, the jury remains out about the reality of ghosts.
"What's the scariest thing that's ever happened to you?"
One of the worst things must be to look down the barrel of a gun as these Redditors did.
"A guy stopped traffic and walked up to the window of the taxi I was in and pointed a gun at my head through the window. Then said 'wrong taxi', and casually walked away."
"I hope he never found the right taxi."
Cashier At Gunpoint
"I got robbed at gunpoint when I was working alone one night at Subway when I was 16."
Getting Authentic Tacos
"I got stopped by the Cartel in Mexico. I live on the border and we decided to go eat some authentic tacos. My dad, my brother and his blonde girlfriend and I (12) were driving to our favorite taco place when this truck behind us started honking at us. Unfortunately there were 3 speed bumps in a row right in front of us. So the truck got impatient and pulled up in front of us. Then they stopped at the intersection which was right in front of us. Along with another truck that was behind them. And a van. Then, like insects, they all swarmed out of their vehicles with AK's and body armor. They lined up pointing to both out car, and then down the street in the direction our car was facing. 2 guys started smacking the car with the butt of their guns and yelling at us to leave. Then they shot some warning shots at the ground in front of the car. My dad floored it backwards while my brother shoved his white girlfriend into the floor and I tried to become one with the seat. Almost died that day. At least thats what it felt like."
These Redditors recount the times they were asked to be taken to the ATM. And not in a very polite way.
"I stopped at a light in a questionable part of town and a strange lady hopped into the passenger seat of my car. She told me to drive her to the ATM and get her some money...I told her that I had forgotten my purse and could not do so (my purse was behind my seat and I was really hoping she wouldn't look around and catch my lie). She kept insisting that I give her money and I kept driving and telling her I couldn't... I'm pretty sure the $20 or so dollars I had in the bank would not have been enough anyway."
"Finally I saw a cop car stopped on the side of the road. I pulled up behind it and told her she could either get out then, or I'd start honking my horn to get the cops attention. She decided to leave."
"I was pretty shaken by that... I'm not sure what I would have done if I hadn't seen the cop and she was getting increasingly insistent and I know I would not have won a fight with her."
"Also... She took my bag of gummy worms."
Drive To A Construction Site
"Something similar happened to my friend's dad. Guy got into his car, pointed a gun at him, told him to drive to an ATM, and pull out money. The dad was scared shi*less, but seemingly, calmly agreed. He drove the car to a construction site nearby, hoping that the workers would be on duty that day. Fortunately, they were and the dad, driving a luxury car, looked so out of place that a bunch of the workers started watching him. The dad then told the guy, 'You can either get out of my car or you can shoot me and have a dozen witnesses. Your choice, but you're not getting money from me.'"
"Guy with the gun got out of the car and ran off. The dad called off work that day and went home to spend time with his wife and kids. My friend said she had never seen him so freaked out before in her life and he made sure to tell them all that story so they would be able to do the same in that sort of situation."
Sometimes, a brush with death is caused by fate and not by gun-toting lunatics.
Out In The Elements
"I was driving on the northern part of the ring road in Iceland. Buddies and I were seeing the whole country and it was bad weather in the middle of winter. Roads were closing behind us so we couldn't turn back. We finally had a clear day ahead of us where we should have been able to drive and prevent being snowed in for a few days. We hit a stretch of road with no gas stations for many miles and we fill up on gas and go. Along the way the weather starts declining and eventually it gets to white out conditions. We couldn't stop for fear of being snowed in. so we crawled along at 10 miles and hour. Closest I felt I ever came to dying on a road in the middle of nowhere in Iceland in a blizzard. great trip though 10/10 would go back"
The Treacherous Slope
"nearly fell off a cliff when skiing (but got rescued)."
Swerving Towards Death
"Me 17, on a rainy day with slippery tyres went through a corner too fast. Two friends in the car with me. Lost control, car swerved, we missed on-coming traffic by probably an inch. It happened in an instant."
"I regained control when the car was pointing in the driving direction again, by lifting from the brakes so we moved forward as if nothing happened."
"A week later going around the same corner an accident happend, head to head. I was second on the scene, and held a strangers hand as they are trapped under the steering wheel. Slipping in and out of consciousness, in total pain, while waiting for emergency services. I was asked to leave by the police when they learned I was not an eye witness to the actual accident. But I knew what happened, because I escape a crash like this just a week before. I never asked people what happened to the people in the other car and I do not know if the person I assisted made it."
"All I do remember is the total chaos in my memory of arriving at the scene, linked to my irresponsible behavior behind the wheel a week before."
Carnival of Fear
"I was 14 I think. Went on a swinging boat ride at the fair, the kind that pause upside down. The auto locking seatbelt bar didn't lock all the way down against me, so when it stopped upside down I started to slip out of my seat. It probably only lasted 10-15 seconds until we went down again but I was holding myself into that car for dear life. Pretty scary, but it didn't kill my love of roller coasters!"
Shortness Of Breath
"About two years ago, I had severe bronchitis. Severe coughing and shortness of breath were the main symptoms. I couldn't talk without coughing. I couldn't lay down to sleep without coughing. It got so bad one night I was home alone and I couldnt breathe deeply anymore. I could only take a shallow breath. My roommate was out of town and I had no one to reach out to. I started getting panicky because I was afraid I wouldn't ever be able to breathe normally again and that I would die because I couldn't breathe or catch my breath."
My brush with death continues to haunt me and I still count my blessings.
Years ago when I still lived in Los Angeles, I barely avoided a head-on collision with an eighteen-wheeler – presumably driven by a drunk driver – who was swerving in and out of their side of the road at around 10:30 p.m.
I was blinded by the headlights, and as the truck came careening towards me, I steered the wheel at the last second and my vehicle's rear was clipped by the truck.
I spun out of control and luckily managed to not collide with the parked cars on the street.
My car was not drivable after that hit-and-run incident.
But I sure was glad my life was spared that night. I have never been so scared in life until that moment.
For the record, I'll take being haunted by ghosts over these brushes with death anyday.
A lot of times when the topic of regret comes around, we focus on what we regret not doing in life. This time, the question is flipped.
Redditor Appleseedbloom asked:
"What is something you have always regretted doing?"
Some people had regrets about not taking better care of themselves, some had regrets about important relationships in their lives. Sharing these moments with others on Reddit seemed to really bring the community together.
Thought the regret was there, sharing it on the internet seemed to make so many people feel better that they weren't alone in that struggle. And it was nice to get it off of their chest.
Here are some of those regrets that are not such bad advice to follow.
"Getting into debt. I can't see a way out."
"I just got back into debt. I expect home ownership to be worth it, though."
This person was kind enough to share how they are getting through their debt.
"This was a life saver. Now instead of like five payments a month, I was able to get a loan that consolidated everything into one payment."
"I went through my bank of 20 years. I had never missed a payment with them and was a loyal customer. I applied for a loan online through the website and was denied. The following week, I called in and was approved within 1-2 business day. I didn't get the amount I asked for - but I got enough to pay of all my debt at the time which was only two credit cards. And I needed some dental work."
"Don't get a Capital One credit card. They will f*ck you over with a few things. Really high membership fees which you can't opt out of. And insurance which was $89 a month! I tried canceling this and was told no. So, when I got the loan, I said fuck you C1, and stayed with my bank. Cancelled and paid off the C1 card."
"The terms of the agreement was a 7 year loan. It's been 3 years of making payments. I've already paid off $8,000 because about once or twice a year, I'll throw in a "lump" sum payment. This shaved off 2 years - and 2 years of interest."
"I'm not saying this solution is for everyone. But it definitely worked wonders for me. It was a life changer."
Protect those ears, kids.
"Not protecting my hearing."
"I'm 52 and have had tinnitus for 20 years now. I should've worn earplugs when mowing the grass, going to concerts or loud movies. I shouldn't have turn my Walkman up to 11."
"Wow. Thank you for your story. I'm 54. Just started getting some ringing. It should be a lot worse. Concerts especially and very loud bars. The one thing that saved me was turning down my headphones. I got my first walkman in 1981."
"Don't turn your headphones too loud, kids. Also, once your ears adjust, turn it down even more. It will sound the same. If you don't, It will fuck you up."
"Also…get some good headphones…preferably noise cancelling if you frequent loud places….like Sony xm4, Bose quiet comforts, etc."
"Good headphones should allow you to hear details even at low volumes. If you like bass get a set tuned for bass or use an equalizer to enhance, but definitely don't crank all the volume just to get a little more bass."
"Active noise canceling might be bad for long term use so buyer beware. (You can also just turn it off most of the time…those cans I listed still sounded great without it.)"
Standing by mom.
"When my parents split up my mom had to raise us by herself and we were really poor."
"Eventually we had to get on food stamps to survive. My mom was devestated. She was a very proud woman and was working two jobs but it wasn't enough and it absolutely crushed her to have to get assistance, it made her feel like a failure who couldn't take care of her own kids."
"I remember we were in the grocery store and getting ready to pay. She was going to use food stamps to pay and she was so ashamed that she turned to me and said "If you don't want to stand in line with me you don't have to". She was trying to spare me the embarrassment."
"So I didn't stand with her, I went off and looked at a toy or something. I remember looking back at her, she was sheepishly fixing her hair and trying not to look "poor" as she worked up the courage to face the cashier."
"I have regretted walking away so many times over the years. I was just a kid, but I wish I could go back in time to go stand next to her and tell her how proud I am to be her son and how thankful I was for the sacrifices she made just to keep food on the table for us."
"It honestly breaks my heart every time I think about it."
"Can I tell you something, as a mother that was once in that same situation? Whenever it came time to pay, I would always tell my daughter to go look at something for me. I was so embarrassed to have to use them (and this was a long time ago, so it was the actual Monopoly money looking food stamps that you had to count out and tear out of the booklets), I never ever wanted her to see it. Your mom is glad you walked away. I know it hurts you, and that says so much about you, but in that moment, it took a tiny bit of the pressure off of your mom not to have to be ashamed in front of you. You sound like a great person who has an amazing mama."
"I'd like to clarify, the shame wasn't necessarily about using public assistance. It was about knowing I had brought a child into a life that was bereft of all but the barest necessities and by the very action of paying with food stamps, people could look at me and decide that I was failing as a mother. Even that would have been bearable if I didn't agree with them. Their faces were just mirrors of my feelings about myself."
"For what it's worth, she turned out great. She graduated high school and college, the first person in our family to do either. She's a successful engineer, wife and mother. She has a comfortable life, and she loves me and we talk every day and see each other once a week for an overnight. To the person below who asked me why I would ever have a kid, it's a fair question. I was 16. I had a traumatic home life and statistically was pretty likely to end up right where I did. I waited too long to face it to be able to have an abortion, and I didn't put her up for adoption because the idea of giving her away and someone hurting her was more terrifying than keeping her. It's not an answer that paints me in a good light, but there you go."
"Becoming a nicotine addict. Cigarettes almost killed me twice in one year, when I was 34."
"I always thought I'd be one of those old af people still smoking. Reality had a different idea."
"When I was in undergrad I would be hanging out with friends and everyone would go outside and smoke. It was just me and this one other guy who didn't smoke and we would be left alone inside. He liked me and made me increasingly uncomfortable every time we were alone together. Eventually I started following people outside and they would always ask me if I wanted to bum one. They seemed weirded out when I said no and I didn't want to explain that our mutual friend was making me hella uncomfortable so I started to smoke as well. I really really regret it."
Drinking and Drugs.
"Drugs and drinking all day."
"Me too. Clean and sober now, but the damage is done and the consequences are for life."
Regretting it, but it lead to a realization.
"I regret and don't regret this one."
"I was 13 at a theme park with my class. It was our last day of school so we went to a big park to ride some rides."
"For no particular reason (other than thinking I was funny) I kept telling kids in my class 'Don't die' as they would climb onto a roller coaster. Some kids looked scared, some laughed."
"Finally a 20 something guy with his girlfriend also in line turned to me and shouted, 'Kid, shut the f*ck up,' his girlfriend quickly tried to calm him down and said, 'He's just a kid.' Boy did he look pissed."
"For me, it was like I had been slapped out of a trance. I thought 'Holy sh*t... I'm annoying?!' best thing to ever happen to me I think. But damn do I cringe when I think about it."
"[I did] similar sh*t when I was 9 to 11 and trying to be edgy. Every time I'd hear my parents finish talking to someone on the phone, I'd ask, 'So, who died?' At first they'd grit and say nobody, but after a while they got pissed and said along the lines of, 'You need to stop asking that. Don't ever ask stuff like that when I'm on the phone. It's disrespectful. You don't know if someone you know will die.'"
"I think they were much harsher words than that though. It hit me like a rock and I never did it again."
Some of these stories are heart breaking, but hopefully we can take a page from their book and bring it with us in life.
Though, it's hard to know what's worse: the regret of not doing something or the regret of doing something we shouldn't have.