Working with dogs is a field like few others. Though a job at a veterinary clinic, animal shelter, or training class may have its moments of tragedy and frustration, the unique hilarity that dogs bring is a real treat.
Simply put, there are a whole lot of dogs out there that are just plain stupid. And its hilarious.
Dogs have bizarre fears of inanimate objects. Some dogs have ridiculous faces that turn the most monotonous task into a cartoonish outin
Whatever form the ridiculousness takes, we all love to witness it. And, as a Reddit thread showed, to talk all about it.
Quite the Bone
"A client of mine has a Doberman girl that once got stuck in a doorway because she was carrying a long bone and couldn't figure out on her own how to proceed."
"Ever since that incident, this dog won't walk through any door no matter how wide as long as she's got anything in her muzzle, be it a bone or a tiny little cracker."
"She is sweet, but really dull."
Unobservant and Phobic
"I work with dogs professionally but the dumbest one I ever met was one of mine. He was a very large Great Dane who somehow developed a fear of hardwood floors."
"The worst part is he would walk through a hallway or room without realizing it was hardwood, and then as soon as he realized it he would sit himself down and refuse to move anywhere."
"I miss the idiot"
Give Them an Inch...
"I volunteered for an organisation training guide dogs for blind people. One of the dogs graduated training and was assigned to a blind young lady. It costs €40,000 to get the dog trained to this point. Dog successfully guides her to work every day safely with no problems."
"Then it's pissing rain one day so her dad asks her to collect her and the dog and drop them to the office. The next day the dog just refuses to work and literally never worked a day again for her."
"I think it just didn't see the point when she could get in the car if she wanted!! "
Bruce the Golden Sniffer
"Bruce. A big old bloodhound who, on multiple occasions, would stick his nose right under other dogs while they peed." -- DavidWestSideStory
"My dog is so submissive that he let a bigger, meaner dog pee all over him while he grinned. If he could talk he would've said, 'Look mom! I made a friend!'" -- NeedsMoreTuba
Trouble With the Back Half
"My boyfriend walks a large Dalmatian who is the most uncoordinated dog I've ever seen. He just can't jump. Has no sense of what his back legs are doing."
"When my boyfriend comes to pick him up he tries to get into the van by jumping normally with his front legs but fails to follow through with the back, so just stands excitedly leaning on the floor of the van, doing frantic tippy-taps with his back feet on the ground outside."
"And he's a big dog, he could step right in without even jumping."
"No amount of showing him by actually moving his limbs has made it click for him, so he does his partial jump then one of us hoists his butt end in too."
Howling at Herself
"Used to volunteer at a Human Society and I remember this one dog who was terrified of shadows."
"The kicker? This was an akita/husky mix so every time she saw a shadow she would howl loudly till the shadow went away."
"Last I knew she got adopted by a farmer and was happily chasing cows."
A Paradoxical Reaction
"I used to work at a shelter, so I guess this counts. One of our dogs had excitement-induced narcolepsy (called cataplexy). So, he'd fall asleep whenever he was too happy. Playing with other dog? Fall asleep. It snowed? Fall asleep. Get people food? Fall asleep."
"We adopted him."
"In a home, we figured out he was afraid of doorways. This doof would turn around and walk backwards through doorways instead because that was less scary."
"He was also no fan of hardwood floors or ceiling fans. Solid 50lb of staffy, biggest coward ever."
"He was the best dog."
"Was walking a golden lab and this poor dog smelled something interesting. Decided to pee on it and lifted his leg."
"Mid pee decided to smell it again and ended up peeing on his own face. Dog was something else."
A Quick and Relentless Wagging
"My mom's pit/lab mix is dumb. He has a crazy long tail and it wags at like 35 mph."
"The other day he was wagging his tail and it was smacking the edge of the fridge. It hurt, he whined. Instead of moving or holding his tail still he just stood there whacking it against the fridge and whining."
"I finally moved him away from the fridge and he sat and licked it for a while. He's a good boi, but he ain't bright."
"My sister's dog was dumb. One day I decided to teach it to sit on command, the way I had taught a couple of other dogs. So, every time I brought him in from the backyard I'd get a treat from on top of the refrigerator and go through training."
"It took much longer than I thought it would, but eventually the dog would sit on command."
"Then I discovered it only knew what 'sit' meant when he was facing the refrigerator. So, more training, Every time I brought him in, I'd have him face a new direction until he made the connection and would sit on command."
"Then I discovered he only knew how to do it in the kitchen."
"A dumb, dumb dog."
"I work in a vet clinic and a dog ate a soft cloth foreign object. We were able to induce vomiting and keep the dog from getting an obstruction."
"Immediately after hurling up the object without a moment's hesitation tried to eat it again so I had to pry it out of his teeth. Dumb."
Worst Guard Dog of All Time
"I used to pet sit a German Sheppard who I lovingly called Space Cadet. She was really good at following directions, but if I stopped giving her things to do, or stopped moving myself around, she would just disappear somewhere in her little doggy mind."
"Once her owner forgot to give me the key before she left for a long weekend so I had to break into the house. She didn't react until I called out for her. She had no sense that something was off about my entering. All she noticed was that her friend was in the apartment and it was time to play."
"I miss that dog."
Hope You Enjoyed Em, Harvey
"I work with dogs professionally however the dumbest dog I ever met was my friend's roommates dog in college. Harvey."
"He was the absolute sweetest pup, but he was so dumb he only had room for one emotion at a time and only had 2 emotions total: happy and sad. The cat hissed at him; sad. People came inside; happy. Someone yelled; sad. Someone said his name; happy. People not giving attention; sad. Remembered he had a toy; happy."
"But the dumbest thing this dog ever did was knock a glass pan of brownies off the counter when no one was home. Harvey ate the whole thing, including the glass. The dogs whole mouth was cut up, he spent hours at the vet, and came back on sedatives. Poor dog lauded in his bed for 3 days."
A Stride Length of 0, or Infinity
"I briefly volunteered at our local shelter and fell in love with a little mutt called Alfie."
"He had distemper when he was a pup so wasn't quite all there."
"When he was running his back legs seemed to be in a race with his front legs, so he mostly ran sideways, and when we were having cuddle time, he would suddenly decide he didn't know me and launch clumsily into a pretty adorable 'attack'. This mainly consisted of chewing my jumper and peeing on me."
"I loved that boy so much. Thankfully he was adopted quite quickly!"
"A wildly overweight chocolate lab we referred to as 'Bella Bighead.'"
"When I say she was overweight, I mean this dog was a furry sphere on legs with a dog head attached. She was also very affectionate, and being in a kennel w/o her owner made her anxious to say the least."
"One night, after the playroom floors had been cleaned and were thus a little slippery, we let her out with the other dogs for some exercise. Bella gets nervous. Bella decides she needs my undivided attention. Bella gets behind me, wedges her dumb, giant head between my knees and begins tunneling for China."
"The floor is too slick to get any shoe traction, so I end up stumbling backwards, landing square on Bella's oversized back."
"And that's the story of why I was caught on security camera riding a labrador like a pony."
Shoot the Gap
"My dog likes to whine for hours if the basement door isn't open. Cause his bowl of food is there. The door usually stays open but sometimes I accidentally close it."
"One time he was whining, I went to open the door and it was already open. About a six inch gap. He sat looking at me waiting for the door to open because clearly...it wasn't open far enough."
"Adorable but a giant idiot too."
"We had a welsh terrier named Lily who came to our kennel and was always booked for group playtime. She was a show dog, apparently, which might explain why she was violently stupid."
"One of the playrooms had a big window instead of a wall to let people watch the dogs play. Lily was so fu**ing dumb she didn't realize this was a window and she full-on sprinted headfirst into it. Every. Single. Day."
Primary Suspect: A Very Dumb Dog
"Have a friend with a black lab. Dumb as rocks but a total sweetie. He wags his tail so hard that they have to keep it wrapped. He will whack it into tables, corners, whatever to the point it will start to bleed."
"I went over once and they forgot to wrap the tail and after about 3 minutes the living room suddenly looked like a crime scene from the blood splatter"
"And the dog remained clueless. He was also adopted to be a hunting dog and he's terrified of loud noises. No hunting for him."
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As patients, we rely on the expertise of medical professionals to be able to identify whatever ailments we're suffering through.
We brace ourselves if we fear the worst, but oftentimes, we end up being comforted by a minor diagnosis.
But all the medical degrees and years of education can't teach doctors to practice empathetic, yet professional, doctor-to-patient interaction on a basic human level.
That has to come naturally.
Curious to hear from patients who have had disappointing or distressing interactions with their physicians, Redditor TheSpasticSheep asked:
"What’s the most out of line thing a doctor has every said to you?"
It's horrifying when even doctors don't have a clue about your condition and, even worse, they gaslight you.
"A gentleman I worked with showed up to work one day looking extremely sick. He was incredibly feverish, had muscle and joint aches, very lethargic and was looking very jaundiced."
"we insisted that he go to the doctor, as he looks like he is on deaths door. He told us that he had been to 2 separate doctors and the ER, letting them know that he has Malaria, and can they please give him some anti malarials. Both doctors and the ER insisted that it 'was impossible to have malaria, as Australia doesn't have malaria,' and that he probably just had the flu, or some other viral infection. And they are correct. We don't have malaria here. But, what they failed to grasp was that this gentleman was an expat who worked in Africa for a number of years, and has had malaria 5 times already. So not only is he an expert in what malaria 'feels' like, but he is also at risk of developing malaria again, even if he hasn't been to Africa in a few years."
"He ended up having to go back to the ER, and basically force them to run a test for Malaria, after which they were like 'oh wow, you do have malaria.' And he was like 'no sh*t, i told you that 2 days ago.'"
Not Going Mental
"I had smashed my face on my steering wheel during a bad car accident and was experiencing intense pain. I teared up when he put the scope in my nose and was told I obviously have psychological problems and if I went on medication it might not help my pain, but I wouldn't care as much."
"Finally found a good doctor and surgery removed the chunk of nose bone that was stabbing into a nerve in my face."
The wrong treatment after a misdiagnosis can be a doctor's serious mistake.
"I had a growth on my scalp a few years ago and went to see a skin cancer specialist. Who said it was a malenoma and I was going to need most of my scalp removed. Without even having a biopsy. He starts telling me to prepare myself for this surgery that will disfigure me. I was about 19 at the time with long hair. He started saying ill need to wear a wig and my hair may not grow back and the skin above my eyes will need to be removed."
"I was petrified. Went home in tears and absolutely petrified."
"Then my dad took me to his doctor, who took a biopsy."
"It was just a random skin growth and she cut it off then and there."
"Years ago, one of the sexual health nurses at my work told me she just saw a woman who very clearly had a scabies infestation around her genitals. She said the treatment was simple and that a cream was applied with almost instant relief. She said what upset her about that patient was that almost a year earlier she’d been to a doctor about the infestation, the doctor didn’t even inspect her and just prescribed her antidepressants. I was horrified and still am over 7 years later. So much medical gaslighting."
"Too Young" For Cancer
"Not one, but two doctors to my dad- 'you’re too young to have prostate cancer, no need for a biopsy, it’s just a bladder problem.'”
"He died 15 months later from an aggressive prostate cancer that spread to create tumors all over his body."
The "Sad" Pill
""While teaching abroad in Vietnam I was struggling with depression. The doc diagnosed me with homesickness and prescribed a box of 160 hydrocodone to take 'when I feel sad.'"
"I was 21 and this was 2007, way before pill use was talked about mainstream. Subsequent boxes were $12 each at a walk up pharmacy, no script needed. I became addicted for 6 years."
"Edit, as I have many people stating that pill use has been discussed forever: I’m talking about the point we got to where most people knew about the dangers of opioids, what the main ones were, the fact that they were being overprescribed etc. Had I heard the word hydrocodone and been exposed to the world and media like I have over the last decade with the spotlight on the opioid crisis, I would never have taken them. That’s the main point I was attempting to make."
It's even more unsettling when someone you entrust your life to crosses a line.
Assessment Or Pick-Up Line?
"Mental health doctor told my daughter, 'You're too pretty to be depressed.'"
A NSFW Observation
"Not a doctor, but a dentist. When I was like 13 or 14 he commented on my lack of gag reflex, telling me that I’m going to be 'very popular with the boys.' It took me a few years to realize what he meant by that."
Mom To The Rescue
"I was the opposite. My dentist said, 'If you always gag like that, you're never going to find a good husband!'"
"I didn't understand why my mom yanked me out of the dentist's chair, but I'm proud of her for that. I think I was 6 or 7 years old."
The Gynocologist's Love Advice
"Mentioned that my sex drive was abnormally low to my gyno, and she said my husband just needed to be more forceful when initiating and I’d get into it. Immediately switched doctors and never looked back!"
The Gyno Who Jumped To Conclusions
"Mine was the opposite. Moved and went to a new gyno that several women raved about. I expressed concern over my low sex drive (especially since I was only 25). The next thing I know she is giving speeches and pamphlets and trying to give me info on women’s shelters. I was so confused."
"She just jumped to the conclusion I must be a battered woman. No matter what I said, she was convinced I was being abused. I tried to reassure her no, my husband was definitely NOT the problem and he was actually quite good in bed and extremely attentive to my needs. It was clearly a physical problem."
"Never went back. She even called several times to 'check' on me. I get that some women may need this, but I mean there was literally no red flags, quite the opposite. It was weird."
Going to the doctor's office for any reason can cause a lot of anxiety.
Patients should never have their stresses exacerbated by an unqualified doctor giving them a false analysis or downplaying their concerns.
Hopefully, you're in good hands with a physician who is professional, as well as compassionate.
Growing up, I had zero idea that the food I ate daily was "cultural."
It didn't occur to me until I was a kid when my mother had to gently explain to me that not everyone ate rice & beans.
She had to explain it because we were about to eat at a white friend's house for the first time.
I've always been weird about food tastes and textures and mom needed to warn me that the beans I could expect would be nothing like what I knew.
They would be sweet, have big chunks of chewy pork (which would also be sweet), and would NOT be served with rice.
"What do you mean there's no rice with the beans? Did they run out? Should we bring some?"
"No, they just don't eat rice and beans."
"So what do they eat with their chicharron de pollo?"
"They don't eat that. They do fried chicken a little different and they tend to eat things like rotisserie chicken instead."
Y'all should have seen my face.
It's been thirty years and I still struggle with the idea of not eating rice and beans all the time. I've come to understand that not everyone grew up in a Caribbean cultural household, though, and most Americans ate from a whole other menu.
Reddit user remyleboi00 asked:
"Non-Americans, what is the best 'American' food?"
Even as someone born in America, it took a while before I got familiar with American food.
So if it's just not your comfort zone - let Reddit guide you to the can't miss dishes.
"Cajun food. Definitely the most unique American food"
"As an American I 100% agree with you. Cajun food is heaven sent"
"That's because of it's native American roots, fun fact Cajun peppers are named after the south American tribe that influenced the Spanish/French who brought it to Louisiana. Maque Choux is also a very native American dish that can be found in Mexico as Calabasitas."
They Are Fundesperate housewives eating GIFGiphy
"Curly fries 👌"
"Recently came across Carl’s jr for the first time in Istanbul airport and the curly fries were just the best"
"the fun thing about curly fries is that they are basically the same everywhere. I'm pretty sure it's one company supplying all the different fast food places"
"I hate to sound like an ignorant foreigner but a made from scratch Mac & Cheese with at least 3 different cheeses plus a crispy breadcrumb crust on top is one of my favorite American dishes"
"Mac & Cheese is such a favorite of family get-togethers that if you volunteer to cook it, your Mac & Cheese needs references."
"It’s especially good with some pulled pork and caramelized onions mixed in. And some insulin."
"Solid choice. We Americans LOVE cheese."
"No need to apologize. One of our favorites too."
Thankful For Thanksgiving.I Love You Cooking GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy
"I'm from Mexico and we get spoiled with our traditional cuisine but I found the thanksgiving dinner experience in the US incredible."
"Love everything, the turkey (dark meat :) ), cranberry sauce, the stuffing (oh the stuffing), mashed potatoes, salads and the delicious pays that follow for dessert. That whole combination plus the red wine and good company is an incredible experience hard to match."
"We also get spoiled with your traditional cuisine."
"I usually get a food coma on Thanksgiving"
"As an American who loves the Thanksgiving and other holiday classics this warms my heart to hear from someone whose cultural cuisine is considered a full on cultural heritage of humanity by UNESCO."
"A nicely done, quality turkey with proper attention paid to all the sides, and good friends and/family is such a great experience."
"Same with the ham or prime rib dinner at Christmas. And all the pies. God I love pumpkin pie."
"Anything smoked: brisket, pork shoulder, chicken, turkey. I've even had smoked burgers. If seasoned well you don't even need BBQ sauce and it is so tender and juicy."
"I smoke meatloaf, can't go back to oven baked ever again."
"This tread has me wanting to smoke a brisket sooner rather than later."
"I love smoked brisket. I agree with you about the sauce. Taste the brisket before dunking in another flavor."
"Native Texan here. Agreed. The general rule here is that you never sauce beef. Let the flavor of the meat stand for itself. Hell, there are some places in Texas (particularly in Lockhart) that will ask you to leave their establishment if you ask for BBQ sauce."
"Now, pork and chicken, whatever else... Go nuts... Just leave beef alone."
"I had smoked mac and cheese once, it was heavenly."
Risk It Allhungry bart simpson GIFGiphy
"This is probably a recipe for disaster but I'm British and growing up visiting Florida I would love eating raw cookie dough from the refrigerator section"
"Cookie dough is so good that, given the option between not eating it, or getting food poisoning, nearly everyone will pick the cookie dough."
"It’s one of the few foods in the country where everyone knows the risk of food poisoning, and everyone makes the conscious, willing, and eager decision to not give a f*ck."
"All of us here in the U.S. know that eating the cookie dough is the best part of making homemade chocolate chip cookies. I have a recipe for brownies with a cookie dough topping. Cookie dough ice cream is also extremely common (it’s vanilla ice cream with cookie dough bits mixed in)."
The Holy Pudding
"I can’t find someone who’s listed it so"
"That shit is LIFE CHANGING"
"Gotta have the Nilla wafers or it isn't right."
"Ah, finally! A person of culture. Banana pudding is the closest food can come to a religious experience."
Cornbread!cornbread cooking GIF by emibobGiphy
"Oddly enough, no one seems to have mentioned it…but cornbread . Yeah , as a guy who moved here , Americans have got cornbread down to a T . Combined with some soul food ? Makes me smile on the inside . Gives me high blood pressure , but smile on the inside too"
"A nice warm cornbread muffin with some butter and a little drizzle of honey is amazing."
"Cornbread with a nice bowl of chili is such a nice comfort food."
"And the spicier the chili the nicer the sweet, buttery cornbread is with it."
"Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, at first i thought it was a disgusting combo, but when i tried i loved it"
"Interesting, most people in America are introduced to pb&j before we're even old enough to remember"
"Farmer’s market jam is the way."
"That was my most frequent meal in elementary school. I didn't realize it was an American thing until recently."
"It's easily top 3 greatest sandwich ever."
As American As It Getspulp fiction breakfast GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy
"I may be a simpleton, but an average diner with bottomless filter coffee, pancakes, bacon and syrup was my favourite part of the day. Although I did put on about 10-15kg after a month in Texas"
"I missed this sooooo much when I lived in the UK (grew up in New Jersey, land of diners). They simply do not do American diner breakfasts in Europe."
"My wife is German, I am American but we live in Germany. We took her parents to the states with us one summer on vacation and one of the things they insisted we do was go to a diner where they pour your coffee at the table, like in movies and tv shows."
"Took them to my favorite little spot, they loved the waitress filling up their cups unprompted."
Now that youve heard Reddit, it's my turn.
So remember how I said that I wasn't really exposed to American food until I was a bit older, even though I was born and raised in America?
I was 22 before I had meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
FAM. Fam. Faaaaaaaaaaam.
There is no greater meal for after a night of drinking than a good meatloaf and a nice herb and garlic mashed potato.
Keep your greasy pizza, amateurs. It's potato time over here.
Have you ever been caught in a conversation you didn't want to be in? Or start talking to someone only to realize you want to stop? Perhaps you were talking to a friend when the conversation took a turn for the uncomfortable.
Whatever the case, we've all been in those situations where we want the conversation to stop, but don't want to be rude.
When I was in third grade, I asked if I voted on American Idol that week. I said yes, since everyone seemed to, but of course I didn't know what American Idol was. Being pop culture challenged, I thought it was a ship. Needless to say everyone was confused when I was asked who I voted for and I replied, "What do you mean? I voted for American Idol!"
It didn't take me long to realize something was amiss, and I probably would've very rudely excused myself from the conversation (fueled by my embarrassment) if my teacher hadn't called us to attention at that very moment.
Luckily, the people of Reddit were willing to share their methods to politely end a conversation when Redditor Spritti33asked:
"How does someone politely end a conversation with a person who won't stop talking?"
Extricate Yourself Immediately
"When they draw a breath, politely say:"
""On that note, I must be on my way.""
Then, simply leave."
Couldn't Get Him To Shut Up
"Yea I worked with a dude who needed to talk. I just talked to him to be polite and not awkward. And I remember him saying "at least you're not one of those people who are silent all day". In my head I'm like, "FUCK, I wish I could be silent all day but now that you said that it would be even more awkward."
"At some point, I just mentally said f**k it and started giving him one-word replies. I think he got the hint because he started talking to me less. Eventually, he quit after a couple of months so it's all good!"
"But some people just need to talk for whatever reason. I need my freaking silence."
Put It In Writing
"I once worked with a man that managed to say nothing, despite talking nonstop. He would explain an issue to me over the span of 5 min. I would say "OK, so the issue you're having is x?" and he would say "No" then launch into a 5 min monologue about something completely different. One time, after half an hour talking with him I still had no idea what the problem was, so I said "put all the issues in an email so I can put it in the queue" and just left. Never got a coherent email either but at least a rambling incoherent email is easier to walk away from and less time-consuming."
Put Them (Back) To Work
"If you're in an office building with someone (or any location the person you're talking to has a desk), one trick you can try is walking them back to their desk, say something like "well, I'll let you get back to it!", then turn around and leave."
Taking Care Of Each Other
"My workplace has someone like this and it’s pretty much become a part of our culture to monitor who is trapped talking to her, for how long they’ve been stuck, and to rescue them after an appropriate amount of time has passed. She doesn’t get it, and probably never will."
Talk To The Door
"My husband worked with a woman who would not stop talking. Just wouldn't. So you'd gather your stuff, while she monologued. You'd say goodbye to everyone else, while she monologued. You'd walk to the door as she followed you and shut the door in her face while she monologued. You could hear her still talking to you behind the closed door while you walked away."
Take Your Turn
"I learned a trick. Most excessive talkers hate listening. So I simply participate and tell my own stories. After one or two stories they are usually ready to leave themselves to seek their next victim."
Create A Deadline
"My entire dad's side of the family are the type that never stop talking."
"The key to getting a word in is to just respond to whatever you wanted to add to even if they are still talking. It might feel rude but most people who are like that were raised in environments where that's the norm or in the case of people with disorders like ADHD and Autism, they most likely know they have the tendency and will roll with it."
"Best way I've found to get end a conversation with ramblers is to set a deadline as early as possible in the conversation (ex: I have to leave at 6pm to get to ______ on time). If you do this you can do the "I'm sorry I really have to go" and immediately leave without offending them because you've already set the expectation that you would be leaving at a certain time."
"This is why I hate taking Lyft/Uber alone, I seem to always get the folks who just want to talk the entire time. My boyfriend tells me to just not engage but when you’re in a car with someone it’s kinda hard not to. The ONE time I just wore headphones the whole time, the driver at the end said “maybe you’ll actually talk next time”"
No Need To Feel Bad
"People who are like this expect folks to just walk away from them while they are talking because that’s the only way the conversation ends. It’s not rude to them, it’s normal. So, it’s entirely okay to say, “all right this has been great, see you later,” and then just walk away smiling."
Sometimes it's hard to get out of a conversation you never wanted to be in, and sometimes it's equally as hard to keep your temper in check.
However, if you remember some of these tips and tricks, you may be able to successfully get yourself out of an unpleasant or unceremoniously long conversation in the future!
Death is a certainty in life, but what happens after death may be one of those mysteries we never solve. I've always believed that when we're dead, we're dead. However, there are plenty of other theories.
Is there an afterlife? Do we face a supernatural judge who decides whether we go to heaven or hell? Do we get reincarnated as soon as we die? Or is death truly final?
These questions prompted Redditor Maleficent_Team430 to ask:
"What do you think happens to you after you die?"
"I imagine its like when you fall asleep unexpectedly or go under for a surgery and you wake up out of a haze, minus the waking up part."
"I had surgery last year and, before I went under, the anaesthetist said "Enjoy the nothingness". And that was it. No light, no colours, no sound, just complete darkness until I woke up with a breathing tube getting pulled out my throat. I imagine that's what death will be like. And I'm OK with that."
Time To Sell
"My family sells all my stuff way under value."
"I f*cking hope that if i die my wife doesnt sell my Legos at the price i told her i bought them"
"My wife sells my record collection for way less then what it’s worth"
The World Keeps Turning
"I am no different than people who die today, the sun shall rise again and word will keep on rolling tomorrow just fine without me."
"Well in a few billions years the sun shall not rise again. But we will be pretty much dead by then — I hope so."
"It was always that everything goes black and you just don't exist anymore. My SO believes that you die and you get to live in your own little paradise and I've always loved the idea of that. I just wish I could believe it. It's also been super sweet to hear from him that I'm gonna be in his little paradise."
"I've posted this before but the idea of my own little paradise disturbs and terrifies me. Because my little paradise wouldn't be the same as other people's. If I say desire to meet my parents again after I die, the age I'd want them to be is likely different to the age they'd want to be in their paradise. Which means none of our paradises can overlap, and the idea of heaven is really just a simulation in which you are horribly alone."
The Next Universe
"You just transfer to the next universe where you didn't die."
"This is what I think about all the time. I always wonder if I have died in a previous universe and just transferred over to the one in which I am still living, but all my family in the previous one think I’m dead."
"I like this theory"
"You return to that state of non-existence before you were conceived."
"It's like falling asleep and not waking up. I find that comforting. The final I don't give a f*ck."
"Probably nothing, I think it’s probably like when we’re asleep and not dreaming. I was fine before I was born, I’ll be fine again"
We Will Live Again
"I hope something like reincarnation but it’s probably just nothing. Like we just end and we’re not aware that it’s nothing but it is."
"Careful what you wish for. Everyone thinks they'll end up as something cool like a lion but nobody thinks about how insects and bacteria make up some of the largest populations of life on earth. Maybe you'll be gut bacteria for some rat. Or a slug that a kid wants to pour salt on."
Whatever You Believe In
"I wish people would go to wherever they wanted to, like - whatever their religion teaches, they’ll go there. And if their non-religious, then they can choose whatever they want to a believe in. I don’t know what’ll happen to me but I hope to see my friends again"
"I think the same personally. I hope to to still be with my wife either way."
"Honestly this being the case would make up for all the unfairness in life."
"This is my dream as well. I hope so. I want longer with my friends than I’ll get."
I Know What Happens
"19 years in the business tells me you either go in the ground, in a crematory, a mausoleum, or you’re never found again."
"Have you considered trying a different business model?"
We'll Know Eventually
"What’s the rush? We’ll find out soon enough"
We may never truly know what happens to us when we die, but maybe it's better that way! I'd rather not think about it, especially if I'm right!