Men... can't live with them... end of sentence.
There's something really infuriating about men, as much as we may love and appreciate them. Why don't they listen? Why is it so hard for some of them to understand when "no" means "no"? And why is it so difficult for some of them to wrap their heads around the idea that a woman's lived-in experience is entirely different from their own?
After Redditor KristianBerg asked the online community, "Females of Reddit, what's the most annoying/obnoxious thing that males in your life do regularly?" women told us about their experiences.
"I've been driving..."
Unsolicited advice about driving and parking. I've been driving a manual car for 6 years now, I'll ask for help if I need it.
Trash women and in the same breath complain about how women don't like them.
Suggest I should have my husband handle it when discussing any home repair or maintenance.
Write off period cramps as nothing serious. I'm sorry do you puke because you're in so much pain on a monthly basis?
"Thinking I need..."
Thinking I need to have a boyfriend and making it a big deal when I say I prefer being single.
My mom: "your standards are too high, you won't ever find a bf like that!"
I mean, WTF?? I wasn't exactly looking for one and I definitely wouldn't settle with just anybody for the sake of what? Not being alone?
"I was raised..."
Reprimand me for not being feminine enough... I was raised with only brothers so I think I kinda walk, talk, sit, and behave like them. Especially when I just try to relax. But apparently, that's scandalous and not ladylike. Please kindly f*** off.
Ugh. How feminine I am changes on a day to day basis by a LOT and I've been criticized for being not feminine enough or being too feminine by the SAME F**KING PEOPLE. Please, Trevor, tell me what the correct amount of femininity is, so that I can avoid it because I never want to give you the satisfaction.
"My dad and my friends..."
Cut me off. Be it involuntarily or not. My dad and my friends both do it and when they see that I'm annoyed they wait for me to take it back to the start, but... don't interrupt in the first place.
"Hard to fix"
This is so common and hard to fix (though always can be improved on, no excuse for not trying to be better)
I think part of the problem (at least in American males) is that in a lot of mostly male friend groups it basically becomes ingrained as "if I don't interrupt, I don't get to talk", and that just becomes how you communicate. Wait for others to finish, the topic is passed up, no one gives others room to speak, etc (especially for introverts). When I've been in predominantly female friend groups / hang outs, it doesn't seem to be a problem so much.
So males don't even think about it because it's been trained essentially. Still a big problem that people should work on, and if we were less "gender isolated" growing up it would probably be a lot better.
"I really do sympathise..."
Dismissing our problems is something that annoys me and I see it all the time on Reddit.
This is gonna be a bit spicy but I see this on the tinder subreddit. If you're a woman, you can't complain at all about the amount of creepy and sexist dudes on dating apps. If you do, you'll get dozens of men saying they get ignored on tinder so you should be grateful to even be messaged.
I really do sympathize with men who don't get any messages and who are lonely. It absolutely sucks but I wish in turn men would be sympathetic to women's struggles. The worry about being assaulted or stalked isn't just us being paranoid. I don't think I have one friend who hasn't had a scary dating experience.
"I swear to God..."
Tell me to smile. I swear to God there is nothing more infuriating.
"When you smile"
Not recently but when I bartended—telling me to smile or "you're prettier when you smile". I would hear that one ten times a night.
"Act like what they have to say..."
Act like what they have to say automatically has more value than what I have to say/they have more right to speak.
Don't interrupt me. Don't talk over me. If we start talking at the same time you shouldn't automatically get to be the one who talks first. Don't interrupt halfway through my damn sentence to tell me I'm wrong, I haven't even finished my sentence you don't know where it's going! Don't talk for twenty damn minutes straight lecture-style without allowing me to contribute to the conversation when there's only 2 of us. If you notice other men doing this, HELP because they obviously aren't valuing my voice but if you help give it value by asking me what I said or listening to me they might too(and if not at least I feel heard). If you're in a group with 4 women and 2 dudes, the conversation should NOT be predominantly male voices.
Repeat what I've said back to me but as if they just thought of it.
What I actually find more annoying is when someone takes what's essentially my idea, and says it again as if they came up with it.
"NO, why dont we go over there so we can surprise the boss"
cue to everyone nodding in agreement
Assume that you don't know anything.
I told the salesman I wanted to replace my favorite ultralight. I said I wanted a 6' fast action rod, and he told me I didn't want an ultralight (they require more finesse, and it can be tough to land big fish, but I can play a fish with the best of them).
I told him thanks I didn't need help and bought a St. Croix premier, which I love only slightly less than my dog and favorite shotgun.
There was also the time I swung into a Harbor Freight that had just opened. A salesman asked if I needed help and I said I was looking for emery cloth but couldn't find it. He looked too but eventually concluded they didn't carry it. Then he started explaining to me what emery cloth is. Why the hell would I be trying to buy it if I didn't know what it was!?
"Taken the time"
I'm 22 and my dad has always taken the time to show my younger brother (16 years old) how to do such and such (things involving handiwork in general, how to fix things) but when it came to me he's always assumed I wouldn't be able to do it properly and preferred to do it himself. When I was a teen I didn't really mind because I didn't realize how much these skills would come in handy later on in life.
Now that I'm in college and living by myself, I sometimes wish I could be able to do things such as unblock the U-bend in the sink or restart the battery in my car, etc... without having to look it up on the internet or call my dad for advice beforehand. My brother is younger and still living at home but he knows how to do all these things because someone was there to show him.
My advice to dads out there: don't dismiss your daughter when she asks if you can show her how to change a tire or whatever. Girls are very much able to do these things if you can just spare the time to teach them!
I can so relate. For many years I was the only girl born on my dad's (who has all brothers) side of the family. When I was a teenager/in college my dad was complaining how none of my cousins ever wanted to learn certain things from him because they were dirty, like plumbing and stuff like that, as he was a part-time plumber. I asked him why he never once offered or tried to teach me any of that stuff. He seemed completely perplexed by the suggestion. It literally never occurred to him that I might want to learn those skills.
"Ignores my mom's concerns"
My dad constantly ignores my mom's concerns about like literally anything until it's too late. Especially the car. Oh god with the car it's the worst. Despite her being right about the car time and time again he continues this and claims she isn't right about the car that often.
The tires are starting to deflate! "No, they're fine." (Tires proceed to be practically flat a week later)
We need new windshield wipers. "No we don't." (Windshield wipers proceed to have bits dangling off of them a week later)
The oil light is on. (He proceeds to ignore this until mom has to just get the oil changed herself)
There's also the fact that he constantly says things he KNOWS are gonna irritate me, laughs about it when I get upset at him, and then is surprised that I don't want to be around him.
"These wonderful creatures"
Take over conversations about female issues, especially on Reddit. It can get pretty ridiculous. I once saw a post where a woman asked other women if receiving an injection on the cervix hurt and a man left a comment saying nope, you won't even notice. When asked how he knew (the OP checked his profile and saw it was a man), he said he had a wife and daughters and had become very empathetic after being surrounded by "these wonderful creatures" so long, as if you could experience someone else's pain through osmosis.
Actually, add that to the list. I don't want to be called a wonderful creature. I'm just a regular person.
"I have to be excellent"
I work in a lab testing construction materials and site conditions and it is infuriating when the field guys won't listen to me or think I don't know what I'm talking about. It doesn't help that I'm young and look a lot younger than I am. I usually have to resort to an info dump and prove a level of competence that is way beyond what is necessary for my job. I'm lucky that I can do that in this field. I feel like I can never just be good at my job. I have to be excellent or I'm invalidated forever.
The other thing is how so many people automatically think woman are being dramatic about pain. My girlfriend has several physical issues that cause extreme pain from time to time. If she actually lets it interfere with her daily life it would be debilitating in most people. Many a guy has brushed her off as exaggerating.
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Being street smart and book smart are two different forms of intelligence.
One acquires wisdom through life experiences while the other gains knowledge through reading books, articles, and from higher learning.
But sometimes there are certain situations where neither applies to a person–even though others may initially perceive them to be intelligent.
Curious to explore this further, Redditor Indianfattie asked:
'What is incorrectly perceived as a sign of intelligence?"
Status and credentials aren't necessarily strong indicators of intelligence.
"Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver! I am so rich. Therefore I am smart! S-M-R-T smart!"
Money And Brains
"People seem to think if you are rich with a good job you must be smart. Generally speaking I've only met one rich person I would consider smart. The rest? Ooooooof. I seriously wonder how some of them passed gradeschool."
"I was surprised when I learned that knowledge isn't necessarily correlated to intelligence. I met a lifelong academic who knew damn near everything about her topic .... but just the facts. It's like, she was a walking encyclopedia, could cough up any info about her field, but she couldn't really process it that well, or draw conclusions, or apply it to a different topic. It's hard to explain. She had a nice 2TB SSD drive full of info in her head but she had a substandard CPU. Since then I've met several people like that. All academics, but I'm not sure that has anything to do with it."
Certain behaviors and personality traits can be misleading.
The Quiet Observer
"Silence. I’ve been told so many times that I’m thoughtful and a deep thinker but really I can’t figure out what to say lol"
The Saying Goes
"There's a very good saying about that, I may be paraphrasing but I've always heard it as: a wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something."
Way With Words
"A cromulent vocabulary."
"This embiggens me."
Judging By Appearance
"I’m living in China right now and everyone keeps calling me intelligent as I’m bald and left handed."
History has proven leaders don't always make the best decisions.
"Being in charge."
Capable Until Proven Incompetent
"Always maintain a healthy skepticism for anyone claiming to be authority, at least till they prove themselves capable."
Save The Compliments
"if someone’s in an authoritative position, it should be others that praise them and say how good they are, not themselves."
The Peter Principle
'The Peter principle is a concept in management developed by Laurence J. Peter, which observes that people in a hierarchy tend to rise to "a level of respective incompetence." Employees are promoted based on their success in previous jobs until they reach a level at which they are no longer competent, as skills in one job do not necessarily translate to another.'
"I once worked for a company where the VP was the living embodiment of the Peter principle. She had been with the company for 20+ years, and somehow got promoted to VP of marketing."
"She very clearly had no idea what she was doing and as a result would end up micromanaging to stay busy. And she loved to come around at 4:30 on the Friday before a holiday weekend to 'say hi,' aka make sure no one was leaving early (we were all salaried)."
"This woman was completely incompetent, had no business managing anyone and didn't understand her duties at all, yet somehow she was an executive and made close to $200K per year. Just by outlasting everyone else."
A person with a big vocabulary can be deceiving.
I knew someone from work who boasted a huge vocabulary and always sounded like an academic scholar when he spoke at meetings.
My view of him completely shattered when he came in for his shift one morning and seriously asked where he could get some "expresso," "expecially" since he was very tired and could use a pick-me-up.
My colleagues and I just blankly stared at each other since his statements at the time were so jarring.
In the US, teenagers technically become adults at 18, an age when they are presumably able to make decisions for themselves and establish independence.
But some teenagers feel they've emotionally and mentally reached maturity before being of legal age, and for some, long after.
Maybe it was a life-changing event or some kind of turning point that make these young adults feel like they are wise beyond their years.
Curious to explore anecdotes relating to coming of age, Redditor brokenbeanie asked:
"When is the first time you remember feeling like an adult?"
These Redditors experienced an epiphany when they realized trips to the grocery store was routine.
"When I got mad that they rearanged the grocery store."
"When I was buying my own groceries and had survived for two weeks on my own. I figured I must be doing it right since I wasn’t feeling hungry or diminished."
Raising A Pet
"It took me a few years. I had a cat for a year and that's when I was like 'holy sh*t I've somehow managed to keep us both alive for an entire year.' That's when I felt like an adult. That was mid to late 20s. I am also a late bloomer."
Accomplishments without the supervision of another adult were common indicators for people who felt grown-ish.
Learn As You Go
"My first summer in college, my roommate and I housesat for a couple who were out of town all summer. Paying rent and bills, buying groceries. We were both working, thank God, but we didn’t have a clue what we were doing. Lived on boiled eggs, raisin bran, bologna and cheese sandwiches, and ten cent ramen."
No Approval Necessary
"The first time I didn’t have to ask for permission to go out."
Tasked With Responsibility
"In college, I was with some friends at a party and one of them fell and busted his face so badly, he started bleeding badly. I went looking for someone to do something when I realized I was the only sober one there. Not a fun night or feeling."
Regarding making purchases, these Redditors realized they could afford luxuries previously not granted to them.
"Honestly, the first time I bought a car without mentioning it ahead of time to my parents. I was 27 or 28, married (no kids, though), and it was at that point that I realized 'I didn't really run this past anyone............hmm....' All of the college loans without a cosigner, my careers (firefighter/paramedic and nurse),my marriage, vacations... Etc...All the stuff I did as an adult and it took a $32,000 purchase to really feel like an adult"
Answer To No One
"I wanted to buy a box of fruit roll-ups. But was feeling weird about it because as a kid we were not allowed to get it. It was too expensive and my parents didn’t want to buy it. At some point, while I was thinking about putting it down, it dawned on me that I was a grown man with my own income. I bought like 20 boxes."
Remember your first job? That was a defining moment for these Redditors.
Joining The Daily Grind
"Starting my first full-time 9-5 job."
"Same. It was weird not having to clock in or out and being allowed to leave work to go run an errand etc."
"I relate to this so hard. I remember when I got my first big boy job I'd pop my head into the bosses office and be like 'cool if I go to lunch?' Or something along those lines and she'd give me a weird look. After like two weeks she let me know that she did not care about lunch breaks, doctors appointments, or even leaving a little early, so long as the work got done. One of my earliest memories of that adulty feeling."
I remember buying my first movie ticket to an R-rated movie was extremely satisfying.
I conveniently forget what movie it was, but it was most likely for a horror film.
Not that the restriction for those under 17 has ever prevented me from sneaking into another theater after having purchased a ticket for a PG-13 film.
Hey, I never claimed to be a model teenager.
No joke, I will never forget the old Sock'em Boppers commercials. I am well past the age group that plays with these things but that theme song is often in my head. What can I say? I watched a ton of TV as a kid and saw that commercial a million times.
They're now known as Socker Boppers and it's just not the same. Remember that video jingle, "it's more fun than a pillow fight?" Those were the days. Alas, everything good must end.
There are a host of other commercials that have left an impression on people. These people shared their thoughts with us after Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 asked the online community,
"What's a commercial you'll never forget?"
"I still giggle..."
"I still giggle at the LifeAlert "I've fallen and I can't get up" commercials. They even have a newer batch of them out."
There's a criminal in my house!
"Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?"
The world may never know.
"I tried to collect..."
"Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
"I tried to collect all those stuffed Taco Bell dogs they did in promotion around this time. I had almost all of them, but never got my favourite one, with the military hat that says, "Viva gordita!""
I remember those! There were so many. I swear, I had at least one or two but they've now been lost to time.
"This is your brain."
"The "This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs" egg commercial."
Oh, but remember the old Rachel Leigh Cook commercial where she destroyed the entire kitchen and not just the egg?
"The dancing old man..."
"The dancing old man from the Six Flags commercials."
Now this one really takes me back.
The Venga bus is coming!!!
And everybody's jumping!!!
"That mid 2000s..."
"That mid 2000s Chef Boyardee commercial where the can follows the family and rolls home with them."
You mean the one where the can is clearly stalking the family and people are too shy to say otherwise?
At least that's how I like to play it out in my head.
"The Wilford Brimley..."
"The Wilford Brimley diabeetus commercial."
At this point, diabetes should just be called Wilford Brimley syndrome.
"The Budweiser Wassup Commercial refuses to exit my brain to this day."
WAZZZUUUUUPPP!? Any kids watching Scary Movie will not understand that reference in the movie sadly.
"Five eight eiiight, two-three hundred... ...Empiiiiire!"
Good choice. This one is always living rent-free inside my head.
"My bologna has a first name. It's O-s-c-a-r. My bologna has a second name. It's M-a-y-e-r. Oh, I love to eat it every day and if you ask my why, I'll say. Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way with b-o-l-o-g-n-a."
This commercial is likely singlehandedly responsible for teaching children how to spell "bologna."
Apologies if you now have relentless commercial jingles rattling inside your brain right now. You should have known we'd awake some long buried childhood memories!
Have some commercials you remember? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
If you're not familiar with the phrase "you are what you eat," it is not a literal statement.
Instead, the line suggests that it is important to eat better quality foods in order to stay healthy and fit.
But the notion that we can go through a transformation of some sort based on our behavior or surroundings can still be a thing depending on certain discussions within context.
Curious to hear examples of what this might be, Redditor standardgenre45 asked:
"What’s something that people turn into their whole personality?"
We can lose sight of ourselves when heavily influenced by another individual or a group of people.
Influenced By Devotion
"Politicians they follow."
Era-Specific Like-Minded Individuals
"The generation they're born in."
We Like, We Follow
"‘Girl bosses’/MLM cult engagers"
"And social media."
People can take on the characteristics that apply to their environments.
"Here in the Netherlands people who live in Amsterdam base their personality on Amsterdam."
When In Colorado
"People move to Colorado and Colorado becomes their personality. They buy a jeep or Subaru and start wearing Chaco’s, and plaster Mountain Life all over everything they own."
Claiming Ownership Of The State
"Not only that, but 'Colorado native' is a whole thing too. I've met many people who have nothing to talk about except how bitter they are that people keep moving in and how much better it was when they were kids."
What The Canadian Said
"It’s that way for a lot of major cities around the world. Here in Canada each province’s capital city has a bunch of people basing their personality off of it."
The Thing About Major American Cities
"Lots of New Yorkers (City not state) guilty of this too. But it’s not just them. Los Angelinos, San Francisans, Chicago and DC are guilty too. Texans are probably the worst about it, especially the further they get away from Texas, then you’ve got people from Austin who are like the elitist Texans, they’re like the oddest mix of hippie and redneck. They often pride themselves on the hippie and denounce the redneck while still obviously being one."
Things having to do with money can be an obsession and really take over the essence of a person.
Living Work Or Work For A Living?
Value Of Conversation
"Or just money in general. I worked with a guy who only ever talked about what things were worth, mostly vehicles. What he was thinking about buying. How much he could sell something for. The trades he wanted to make. How much our customers made. What motorbike he bought before from a guy on the street we happened to be on and what it's worth. That's all. It was annoying as f'k. Any conversation at all, you could be talking about your grandma, and he immediately tries to change the subject to value. It was literally the only small talk he knew. The fact he was poor just made it sad."
Just Cut The Pricetag
"Omg my husband is kind of like this and as much as I love him, it's so frustrating. I'm just not all about money. We don't need to tell the kids how much their gifts cost. Idk. It makes me a little nuts."
Power Of Money
"True, I lived it twice. First time I was a young, driven, ladder climber. Second I was a greedy, grab All the Cheeto’s before everything goes to pot… then when it did in 2008, financial collapse happened, I became lost. I’d let 95% of my identity become my job when it disappeared so did I. Took over a year to get my head right."
Ever been told that you're turning into one of your parents?
That's another phrase often uttered, especially by a sibling who sees that you have slowly taken on the characteristics and idiosyncrasies of your mom or dad.
Learned behavior or genes?
Could be either or both. What do you think?