Woman Wants To Call Off Her Wedding Because Of Her Lack Of Bridesmaids, And Her Heartbroken Fiancee Turns To The Internet For Advice
Planning a wedding can be a nightmare for some people. It's amazing how quickly an event that is supposed to be about the couple can turn into a whole big production about literally everybody else. I know from experience, I actually cancelled my wedding and surprised people with a beach BBQ/wedding because planning it got to be so stressful. So when one heartbroken man asked Reddit what to do about his fiance's struggles with planning their wedding, I felt for the bride-to-be way down deep in my bones.
He explained that she had no female family members and no friends, so she had gotten fixated on the idea that she would have no bridesmaids. She's an elementary school teacher and writer who is pretty uncomfortable in social settings, so she didn't have a whole lot of chance for connecting with people. The groom has a large group of friends, but she's not so social. She was so upset that she was considering cancelling the wedding entirely! He was genuinely heartbroken that he couldn't help her feel better.
Reddit offered a few bits of advice for him. Some have been edited for clarity.
The Post That Started It AllGiphy
My fiancée and I are recently engaged and have been together since we were 18. She's not the bridezilla type but she has imagined a nice wedding.
She's not very social and has no sisters/female cousins, and as a result she has no bridesmaids. Zero. I on the other hand have a solid group of guys to be groomsmen and they're already talking bachelor party.
My fiancée won't have a bridal shower or bachelorette party, or anyone to go dress shopping with, etc. it's really bringing her down and she won't even talk about weddings. Once she said between sniffles "can't we just sign a paper at a courthouse?" But I know neither of us really want that.
I have suggested having my sisters and cousins as bridesmaids, but they don't really know her well and likely wouldn't want to. How can I help her?
Responses came pouring in pretty quickly. Lots of people struggled to understand that the bride had very literally not one single friend. Nope, not even his friends. The future groom tried to explain by telling reddit a story. Apparently, he and his future best man were talking and his best man told him "I wouldn't even have anything to write about her in my speech."
Some people were worried, other people felt that life-in-isolation reality very deeply.
A Cautionary TaleGiphy
I was in your fiancé's shoes when I got married at 22.
I didn't go to college, opting instead to work, and my high school friends were all very religious, which I no longer was. I met my first husband when I moved to a new town for work. We hit it off quickly, so I didn't really feel a need to seek out friendship elsewhere. When he proposed, I panicked a bit. I had managed to make a few friends, but they were all dudes. I ended up making my little sister my MOH.
I spent the next 10 years or so feeling shitty about the fact that I had no real friends and I had no idea how to change that since I became a SAHM with little opportunity for interaction with people other than my husband and my kids. In all honesty, this contributed greatly to the demise of my first marriage.
The core problem here is that she really needs some friends. Having a wedding party is secondary. I know it's tough to find a way, to find time, but it absolutely can be done. Does she have any hobbies like crafting, hiking, gaming? Find a group at a community website (I used meetup.com) that meets IRL on a regular basis. She might feel awkward at the first get-together, but I guarantee that after a few, she'll begin to find herself looking forward to it. Friendships take some time, but it's worth the effort!
Self Esteem IssuesGiphy
Based on what you've said about your fiancee, it sounds less like just introversion and more like self esteem issues. Why not have a long engagement (if you're going to be together for life, it doesn't really matter if you marry next year or in 3 years), and use that time to get her in therapy for self esteem and hopefully help her build up a social life? It'd be a good thing regardless of the marriage.
You've been together for six years, and your friends don't know her well enough to say a few nice things about her? That's a little worrying.
I used to be painfully shy, but my husband is outgoing and really friendly. With his encouragement, I started coming out of my shell. So, here's some ways I've made friends.
- If her main hobby is writing, I'm guessing she's also a reader. She should start going to book signings or writing workshops. This way she gets to meet people she already has something in common with, and gives her a change to practice being sociable. You can go with her for encouragement, and this way, you may end up meeting new 'couple' friends. Even if she doesn't end up talking to any of these people again, she'll have a chance to get out of her comfort zone by talking to strangers.
- Work friends... she's an elementary school teacher. This means she is around other women at work everyday. I'm guessing she takes her lunch alone, in her classroom. She should try to reach out to her coworkers by joining some of them for lunch. If she's not comfortable with approaching an established group, maybe she could see about inviting just one other shy teacher to join her for lunch.
- Your family. Your family will be her family in six months. First, you need to get your family off her back about her job. She is not a glorified babysitter. She's a college-educated teacher, helping to shape the minds of future generations. This is a position worthy of respect. And for them being so loud... maybe you have one or two quieter family members that you can invite over for dinner so they have a chance to get to know her.
If your future wife wants to make friends, she needs to reach out. She cannot sit around and complain about feeling lonely, and being too old to make friends. That is a self-fulfilling prophecy that she needs to work on breaking.
Ditch The Wedding PartyGiphy
Just throwing this out there: when my husband and I got married it was kind of a weird situation for me in that literally all my best friends were abroad and wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding, which was in my husband's small hometown. So basically all of his friends would be there but only one of mine (and a distant friend at that, although 2 of my sisters were also there). So I was in a weird bridesmaid situation. And what did my husband do? He recognized that immediately and said "I think we shouldn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen. Keep it simple, you know?" And holy shit was I thankful he said that. He could have had 10 groomsmen, and I could have rustled up 1 bridesmaid, but he chose to make it less hard/awkward/weird for me and as painless as possible because my best friends just couldn't make it.
Otherwise we had a completely standard wedding. Just no bridesmaids or groomsmen.
Honestly your fiance probably needs therapy. she seems to have social anxiety and is super insecure. I thought I was "just shy" until i got older and understood better that what i was feeling was something that required help for. It's one thing to prefer staying in, or to be a little quiet, but when you've gone through high school and college and can't name a single friend you've made there's something deeper happening. It's not as if your fiance doesn't want friends. Something inside her is preventing her from building these relationships.
Involve Her StudentsGiphy
I am similar to your fiance. Not very social, but have several very close friends. I hope to be a writer (working on that part) and was a teacher at some point. Due to my career choices, I've been forced to be social and break out of my bubble, which at some point will have to happen to her if she wants to live a semi healthy social life.
I would say you are focusing on the wrong thing. Instead of looking at the lack of bridesmaids, both of you are forgetting what she does have. 1. She has a class of students who probably love her 2. As a writer, she has the ability to be satisfied with the company of her own mind.
With these two assets, I recommend you throw her a surprise bachlorette party in her classroom. Okay it with the staff of course, but you can have a surprise party with all her students, and possibly get them to write notes to her beforehand of why she is a cool bride. She'll feel comfortable and loved. Also, while you are having your bachelor party, you can give her a surprise trip to the spa, where she could relax and be content with her mind (maybe it's just me, but I love brainstorming plots while I'm getting a massage). If you are willing to not have a wedding party, and just have your best friends be wedding guests, that might make her feel more comfortable, like she's not missing out on anything. Then you can have the traditional nice wedding without having to worry about a bridesmaids and groomsmen, but still be surrounded by people who love you guys.
BTW, I really liked one of the other suggestions that you go with her to pick the dress, pick out a handful you like, and let her go off and pick her favorite one, so it's still a surprise to you.
A Private AffairGiphy
My wife and I got married in December. The only people involved in the ceremony were us, the priest, and her sister who handed over the rings. It was a very nice, small wedding. We were both happy to not have the people there and we threw our own little party the night before with her sisters.
We had a small wedding with no attendants, and my husband and I actually walked down the aisle together. No one noticed or commented on it. I suspect that this is more about her being unsatisfied with her life, as opposed to being a wedding issue?
In the short term, focus on a smaller wedding with no attendants. In the longer term, really encourage her to go to therapy. That will help give her the tools she needs to do what it takes to get out there to make friends. It took some time in therapy for me, but I eventually got to the place where I have a strong network and I can make friends easily. I didn't realize just how depressed I was until it started to lift.
The Story Continues - Suspicions Confirmed!Giphy
Several comments pointed out how unhealthy it was that the bride-to-be had literally not one single friend and was saying things like she didn't "deserve" a wedding. The groom's family wasn't a fan of the bride, which brought up even more questions. The couple had been together for six years but the bride hadn't allowed herself to get to know any of the groom's friends or family. In the end, the main suggestions ended up being that the bride seek some counseling for her extreme social and self-esteem issues, that they don't push for the wedding to happen fast, and that she open up to at least his friends and family so that she could have some kind of social outlet other than just him.
Amazingly, he offered a sort of heartwarming update not that long after!
I read through a ton of these comments, but not all (over 1000?!) and decided to look for my fiance's box of wedding planning stuff, because I had a suspicion. Inside the box was all these magazine clippings of a big church wedding, flower ideas and stuff. And then I saw pictures of the dresses. They were all big, poofy ornate things that don't seem akin to my fiancee's style at all. But...they're similar to the dresses my sisters wore at their weddings.
It all sort of clicked for me. My fiancee probably doesn't want a church wedding or any of these fancy trimmings, she's trying to win my family's favor. The hell. I really should've noticed this earlier and gotten more involved, I know.
My fiancee flew home on Thursday to spend a few days with her dad (Father's Day weekend and all). I couldn't go because of work, so I was alone until this morning. So, real late at night, I called up my buddy Ravi (26M). Ravi's my best man, we've known each other since we were kids, split up when we went off to college, and reconnected three years ago. We moved to SC so I could join the company he works for.
I just opened up to Ravi. It was really late but he listened to me anyway, about my worries about my fiancee. He said that it was very likely that she was trying to curry favor with my family, but she probably wasn't going to admit to it easily. He said he'd talk to her.
I told him that he barely knows her. He said not to worry, and that he'd be around tomorrow evening.
My fiancee came home happy (she always is after seeing her dad) this morning. I went off to work without asking about the wedding, and she set to work on her writing (she's off for the summer). I got home early and at like 5 PM Ravi came to my house with my other good friends: Carson, Andrew, and Tim (23-30M). I know all these guys from various places and we're all a solid group. Still, this was unexpected.
Ravi came up to my fiancee and said that the guys were taking her wedding dress shopping.
We were both freaked out as hell. I had no idea this was coming, and my fiancee looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She whispered to me "they won't like me", and I urged her to just go for it. Ravi reminded her that he has sisters, Carson's been divorced, and Andrew's had his fair share of girlfriends, so they know dresses. Plus, he has a lady friend that works at a small boutique, where they'd try first.
She still didn't want to go, and then he said something like "hey, you're marrying our best friend, don't you think we should get to know you and make sure you're not a ghost or something?" (He's not great with tact). But she chuckled a little at that and gave in.
They were gone for a while and came back an hour ago. They didn't find a dress, but they looked around the stores for a while and fiancee found a style she liked (not the poofy ball gown style). They also went out for ice cream and when they walked in the door, she was joking and laughing with them all. I hadn't seen her so happy in a long time. It was amazing.
Then we all sat down together and Ravi asked her to talk to me about what's on her mind.
I still don't know how they got her to open up. She whispered that she didn't really want the big church wedding, that she wanted to wait a little while and plan a small ceremony for just the people we really care about. I was all for it, I told her not to worry about bridesmaids or anything, it could just be us. She said no, she wants her dad, the guys, and my family to be there.
Andrew, a kickass guitar player, said he'd put together a band for us. He asked my fiancee what her favorite song is, he'd figure out an arrangement. This is the kind of question she usually dodges, but she blushed a little and actually told the truth. (Panama by Van Halen if anyone cares; girl knows how to rock out). This was the real sign that she's starting to trust them. I don't think anyone knows her favorite song except me and her dad (who bought her Van Halen CD's growing up)
I told her I'd call my family and tell them the church wedding's off. If they make a big stink about it, I don't fucking care. I have my bros and my beautiful future bride. That's all the family I need.
The groom's friends stepped up, swooped in, and took the bride out! Believe it or not, they got her to come out of her shell and have a good time dress shopping and hanging out! She finally admitted she had only wanted the big church wedding because she felt it was what the groom's family expected and she wanted them to like her.
Reddit loved the progress!
She Needs HelpGiphy
Your fiancee needs some serious self confidence. Who automatically thinks that a whole bunch of people won't like them based on nothing? Why would she think they wouldn't like her? Based on your last post and this one, she needs some help. I don't say this to be mean- both she and your friends sound lovely, and it's great that you have them. That sounds like the best possible outcome. I'm really happy it turned out that way.
Pregnancy Hormones And RaviGiphy
Excuse my pregnancy hormones but I'm reading this and bawling. Damn hormones. My husband is freaking out because I'm like "Ravi...wah...wah!"
He's asking, "Who the h*ll is Ravi? And why did he make you cry?"
I'm sniffling, "He's awesome. I'm crying because he is awesome."
Now, I've got some explaining to do after my water facet stops leaking.
Those are some awesome friends you have there!
As a female that.... May be... Soon in your fiancés situation, I think you have excellent friends and you sound like an excellent guy yourself. Social and generalized anxiety are real issues for some people. I hide from meeting new people the same way as your fiancé. "They won't like me." Its hard to face a situation like this when that's how you feel. Excellent thread, thank you.
The Importance of FriendsGiphy
That's great! Glad things are working out with the wedding :) Hopefully your fiancee will use this experience to realize that people do want her around and want to get to know her and care about her. And hopefully this will show her how important friends are for support, etc.
The Same FearGiphy
This was an awesome update, I even teared up a little. I'm really happy your fiancée was able to communicate with your friends (who by the way rock!) the first post made me feel sad about her because I also have the same fear when I get married, knowing that she was able to open up like that gave me a really big smile.
Hopefully you'll be able to update us once you guys tie the knot, would love to hear about it!
I had actually been worried about how this would turn out. I had almost suggested if her mom would do it in your original post but held off because there wasn't mention of her. Then I read that mom abandoned her when she was little and my heart just broke.
I'm glad it turned out well :)
This is such a wonderful resolution to your issue. I wish all things around here ended up so well. Not only are your friends golden, but you are too for caring enough about your fiancé to really dig for the truth and work toward her happiness!
Here are a few happy tears for your future...they're on my iPhone screen, but you can have them in spirit!
"Wings And Games"Giphy
I'm a bride with no close female friends. My brother will stand next to me on my wedding day. My fiance will have his three cousin next him. I have no energy to find or even care about a last hen party, bridal tea parties, or any of that. I want wings, games, and maybe some comedy with my brother, for my last hen party
Barefoot And PerfectGiphy
Wow! This story makes me happy. You seem like a great guy and you have wonderful friends and a wonderful fiancee. I bet your family will be just fine with it. I was a tad worried about something similar, as my husband's brother had a big church wedding, as did my brother and all of my cousins. But then I realized that my (has been now for 18 years) husband's other sibs had totally gone against the grain. We had a tiny wedding in a little tiny church in the country, with just friends and immediate family. It was very casual. A couple friends brought their dogs, who were wearing bow ties, and they ended up walking down the aisle with us and wandering around the small chapel during the wedding. We were all laughing and crying at the sane time. One of my young nephews was goofing around, but it didn't detract from the ceremony at all. My husband asked his 5 year old nephew if he'd like to come up and be with us and could he possibly hold my ring? Of course he did. We did have a small reception/dance after the wedding, but we (our friends and sibs and the two of us) chose the music and DJ'D it casually. My husband wanted some James Brown and Maceo Parker, and I required The Time Warp from the RHPS. No stress, no hassles. I was barefoot. The best man got crazy drunk and it was all good. Our families were both 100% supportive of our plans. I did go wedding dress shopping with my mom, but I paid for it and found the perfect dress (for me) on a clearance rack. Score! No downpayment plan or going over budget. I just got really lucky. No fittings or tailoring. It fit perfectly. I paid for it the day I found it and picked it up the morning of the wedding after it was pressed. Though no shoes, I did want a veil and my mom insisted she buy that. We found a fantastic, perfect veil on clearance. Exactly what I wanted. Boom. We didn't spend $25,000 on a big wedding. We knew we'd either elope or do it small with just tight friends and family. It was one of the best weddings amongst all of our friends and family, we all agreed. My bridesmaid's little girl sat on my lap and ate both my wedding cake piece and hers (cheesecake, btw!) During our first dance (The Beatles Oh, Darling), the same little 4 year old wandered up to us with her teddy bear. We just picked her up.
I personally think your story deserves to be made into a movie. Though I'm not a big rom-com fan, with the right actors and director, this could truly be a great movie. Maybe your fiance could write the screenplay? What an excellent story. We would appreciate yet another update after the wedding. "Panama" may be your first dance song!
If your fiance (not sure what she writes) isn't interested in writing a screenplay, could you actually let me know? I'd love to write one based on your story, but I'd need to interview both of you and your friends, at the very least. Congrats, OP!
You're in SC.. South Carolina. You should get some tickets to music midtown (Atlanta,GA) Van Halen is one of the head liners. She'd probably really like that. Maybe plan it as a group thing and see if your friends would go and just hang out and listen to some good music! It seems like shes super happy about your friends taking the step and tbh if I were her, I would be ecstatic.
Good job, Fiance of the year.
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The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.