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Woman Seeks Advice For Subletting Her Apartment With Difficult Roommate Who Can't Get Her Act Together

Woman Seeks Advice For Subletting Her Apartment With Difficult Roommate Who Can't Get Her Act Together
Photo via iStock

Difficult roommates are no joke. They can really ruin your entire life. And then how do you deal with asking somebody else to step into your situation?

u/needroomiehelpplease laid out her situation for us:

I'm [22F] at my breaking point with my difficult roommate [23F] over a moving-out mess. Feeling like I deserve for her to be flexible just once. Am I being unreasonable?

I moved in with Holly 9 months ago. We met on Craigslist but she seemed nice, was my age, and so I bit the bullet and jumped in. Where I live, places are extremely expensive as well as very hard to secure - so if you decide to move, you better be ready to move the weekend coming. I wish I'd have had more time to get to know her and look at more apartments, but that's life.

Holly makes $44k, and I make $73k despite being a year younger than her. I think she's a bit resentful of this, and thinks I don't have any money problems or any reason to keep a tight budget. I've explained to her before that I have student loans, car payments, and several other financial 'responsibilities' that I've committed to, and paying for gas and train fare to and from work (30 miles away) etc. but either way - she often makes snide remarks about how I make soooo much more than her (probably undeservedly in her opinion, although I was an ambitious teen and have technically been working in my industry since I was 16, and I got my bachelors in 2 years so I've had more years of experience at work. I'm actually below market salary for my title). Her parents bought her a car and pay for it, and they put her through college debt-free. She also seems to think that her job and responsibilities are far more difficult than mine, and that she's grossly undervalued.

Anyway, when we moved in, it was in a rush, and it was very hard for us to find somewhere within her budget. She was also very picky and inflexible about everywhere we looked at. For a budget of $1200/month, she wanted W/D in-unit, separate bathrooms, a second floor apartment, parking, a large bedroom, lots of light and windows, and something lofty with exposed brick. Unfortunately, those demands are laughable in the area we live. Coming from the mid-west, she really didn't understand that. So, we found a place that is literally the best deal I've heard of in the area - a first floor 2bed 1bath, dishwasher, with a patio, a gym and pool and parking lot, and coin-operated laundry in the building. However, for her to afford it I would have to pay the difference of $175. So, her rent for the last 9 months has been $1200, and mine has been $1375. For this, I got an only slightly bigger bedroom.

I've hated living with her. She's extremely messy and treats the rest of the apartment like it's her bedroom. Her clothes are always everywhere, she never washes dishes or takes out the trash, and the bathroom is disgusting. She leaves used tampons and pads out in the open and uses an electric toothbrush for about 4 mins every morning and night and just drools toothpaste any place she walks while she's brushing. I'm the only one who has ever cleaned the bathroom, and it took me until 3 months into the lease to realize she didn't know how to use the dishwasher. Aside from her gross behavior, she's extremely needy and takes up all of my energy if I'm even in the room with her. Her social skills are lacking because she's so over the top and exhausting to be around and doesn't know how to be 'chilled', and I know she's had issues at work about her professionalism. She is a social justice warrior and will rant to anyone she can get her hands on about issues she's only half-informed on. None of my friends like her, or will hang out with me if she's there. Any guy I've ever brought over turns out to be 'just her type' and she ends up crushing on them forever. She's also a virgin which has been a bit awkward but not a huge thing - it just means that when she's around a guy she misinterprets very small things as being big (e.g. OMG he hugged me what does it mean). She also goes on rants about guys and sex when she's literally never had it. I really just can't stand being around her and sometimes she talks so much at me that I start to want to cry in the middle of her speaking. I just shut myself in my room whenever I'm home, or spend my time on the patio which she doesn't like to do because she gets cold. Luckily I work from about 9am until 8.30pm and do a lot of workout classes or networking events most evenings.

At the beginning I tried to drop hints and make nice suggestions to her, to try and get through it better and make it work. Nothing worked though, and she would only get very insecure and upset - asking if I hated her while on the verge of tears. I just want to be direct, but she can't handle it, and it makes the living situation worse. So I just shut up for the rest of the time and tried to keep busy. I stopped telling her what I would be doing so she couldn't invite herself. She confided in me that she was kicked out of her sorority in college and that 'people always leave her' and she was so happy that I wasn't going to do that to her. I feel so awkward and phony around her and just spend most of my time nodding and zoning out of her rants, or saving errands like grocery shopping or working out until I know she's at home.

I always thought I was an extravert, but I realize now I'm a social introvert. I love going on dates and seeing friends, but I haven't done any of that because an hour at home uses up all my people energy for the day and I just want to hide. I used to go on a date every week or two, but I literally can't face human interaction because she sucks all my energy out, leaving me depressed because I'm not having fun outside of work. She always needs rides places, picking up from the airport (which she won't reciprocate if it conflicts with her agenda or her sleeping from 11pm - 11am) and needs emotional support about her job issues 24/7.

Ok - so fast forward until today. I'm moving to the City to be close to my office. Holly wanted to stick together, but nowhere in the city is in her budget and she wouldn't be able to get any of the amenities she insists on. So, after 2 months of looking for places and gently discussing it, we've come to the amicable choice that we will live in different places. For a while she was sending me links to places that were 2b1ba where I would be paying 2.4k and she would be paying 1.2k - and I told her I couldn't stomach paying double than her for zero extra perks. Anyway, I'm venting, sorry. So we're moving. We thought our move out day was July 1st, so I made plans around that. I found a gorgeous 4bed with a couple friends in the City, a 10 min walk to my office. I'm moving there on Saturday.

Holly on the other hand, can't find anything because she's so damn picky. She won't budge on her amenity requirements. So we went to look at the lease to see if she could do a month-to-month extension and find someone random on Craigslist to take my room while she remains here. It turns out we both messed up and the lease actually ends on July 31st, a month after we had anticipated. Holly was really happy because it meant she had more time, but I am devastated. My move-in costs at the new place are totaling about $5k this month - and I can only just just just make it work. This now means that I also owe an extra $1375 to pay the last months rent at the old place with Holly. It's my own fault for not reading the lease properly before I signed for a new place, but it sucks.

Since she had suggested a new CL roommate for her staying at the apartment, I asked if we could do that for July anyway and she said yes as long as I found someone "not crazy". I put an ad up, and have had loads of responses. We're right next to a famous university, so lots of smart and mature students/executives here for summer have been emailing me. I've forwarded them all onto her for approval and she's said no to all of them for various, silly reasons.

Finally today a girl emailed me saying she was doing a summer medical program at the university, and she was bringing her sister (who wants to do a grad program) to see the school too. They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used. They sounded the most promising, and I was sure Holly would be interested, so I sent their app along. I thought she would be keen on having two potential friends.

She responded saying

Her: I also think the rent should be higher.. This is a downgrade of quality of living for me so I shouldn't pay as much. Kinda like how you didn't want to pay $1000 more than I was paying to share a bathroom with me in the city.

Me: I think that's a bit different because you're already sharing a bathroom, and we were talking about a $1000 discrepancy there for the exact same living situation as each other. How much more would you want them to pay?

Her: Right, but sharing a bathroom with two people is different than sharing with one person. You and I don't have conflicting schedules, so it's a non-issue, but I would be pretty annoyed if I couldn't get ready in the morning because there were two other people in the queue, when I didn't sign on to share a 2BD with two other people. My mom's office weighed in and they all recommend the rent being split in thirds. I mean, I think the point is I shouldn't have to be stuck with anything? I signed on for a nine-month lease with one person I knew. And all the sudden the expectations are changing and I'm supposed to pay the same. How would you feel if you were in my shoes? This is my life, too.

I do see her point. But I'm really frustrated because I thought that this was going to be the one she liked, and I'm at my wit's end. The women can't afford what Holly is asking for, and there is nobody else in the pipeline that she approves of. I feel like I've spent the past 9 months bending to her needs, and sacrificing my time and money because of it, and she can't give me this one thing? Just 3 weeks of having an extra person use the shower, which will be paid for in utilities. Everything I feel like I've done for her is coming down to the line for the bathroom? I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it, only to have her treat it like shit. I just want to get the f out to my new apartment, but I don't know what the fuck to do about the last month of rent I'll owe, and can't afford.

Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not? Do I tell her everything I've told you here and hope she changes her mind? Am I being unreasonable? If I am, what should I do about the cost of the last month of rent?

Thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate any insight.

TL;DR: I need to move out of my place a month early, and can't afford to pay rent on two leases. My roommate won't accept anyone for a month-long sublease so I don't know how to afford it. I also feel like I deserve a favor from her, and more than anything I've just reached a breaking point with her and am very upset.

Here was some of the advice she got.


Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not?

Yes I think you should. However....

They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used.

I'm willing to bet there is something in the lease regarding guests and length of stay so if you piss off Holly the sublease might not work if she decides to go scorched earth.

I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it

I think that should count for the extra month but honestly you might just have to end up eating the 1/3 cost and file under the "jerkwad tax" for getting her out of your life.



Oh my god this person sounds horrible. Pick seems she's delaying the inevitable so that you'll end up having to pay that month which you can't. Or just leave her alone to deal with getting a new roommate and move the f out of there when you were original planning on leaving. Or ask if you can shorten the lease by that one month. I'd move the f out of there and let her deal with the bullshit she's created. I don't have patience for selfish children like that.



Equal split doesn't make sense if you're splitting a 2 BD/1BA by 3 people. It shouldn't be 50/50 or by thirds. Something in between if she had been paying a fair amount (which it sounds like she hasn't).

But it honestly might not be worth arguing this. You're dealing with a baby who goes to mommy and whines, rather than deals with something herself. If I were you, I might take the financial hit for two reasons: one is she might do something shitty that causes you not to get your security deposit back and two is you don't want her to treat your subletters like shit. I know it's not your fault that she's a sh*tty person, but I would feel bad about that.



If money weren't an issue I would just pay July's rent and tell her to f*ck off at this point. I am completely exhausted by her just from reading your post. She has literally had a negative affect on almost every aspect of your life, you can't go on dates or hang out with friends because of her. You have convinced yourself that you owe her something or that she's too weak and would be devastated when you leave so you are putting your entire life on hold just to appease her. Honestly I hope you completely cut contact when this is all said and done, this is not a healthy relationship.



You can be nice for only so long. If it comes to it say something along the lines of "Out of respect for you I brought you into the sublet process, even though I didn't have to. However, it has reached a point where I have to make a decision. These people seem really nice and will be here just 3 weeks. I'm sure you will get along with them during that time."



Does it say anywhere in the lease that you need the other roommates acceptance to sublet your room? If no, just do it. You met this person on craigslist 9 months ago, you owe them noting.



I agree with /u/Slayer1791 -- if her permission is not required, do it anyways. You've already let her dictate the terms of your arrangement for this long. Unless she's legally able to dictate this, don't budge. You don't owe her anything and it's not like you want to continue being friends with her anyways.



She sounds awful but in an effort to reduce your losses would you be willing to throw in the difference between what the potential subletters would pay and what she thinks she should be paying? In this example they'd pay the 1375 you were to pay and you would throw in the difference between the 1/3 share she thinks she should pay and the 1200 she owes

It would suck to let her "win" here but may be the best compromise so you don't get stuck w the full 1375 and no subletter.



Hi! I remembered my old post and figured I'd update since I love updates, especially juicy ones. Old post is here.

Re the moving out situation: I didn't bring on a subletter, and let her live alone for a month. My plan had been to move to the city and live happily ever after. I was planning on moving into a shared house via a startup called Campus. Literally the day before I was supposed to move, they shuttered their operations. SO, I moved in with my parents because I did NOT want to go back to living with Holly. This worked out well for me financially. After a couple of months I found a new place in the city and moved in there - all was great. Holly renewed her lease with an acquaintance from college who was moving to our area.

I mentioned that Holly had issues with professionalism - well, Holly ended up getting fired from her job. I reached out to another agency in her industry I knew well, in the same field, to set her up with an interview (ugh, why) and she ended up getting the role. After she got it, I went for coffee with her to talk about it, which was the first time I'd seen her since the move.

She told me she wasn't enjoying living with "Emma" because Emma would never invite her to things or be home as much as she originally said she would (shocker). In general, it sounded like Emma dealt with a lot of what I'd dealt with.

Then I brought up something funny, that I'd matched on Tinder with a guy who'd worked with Holly at the agency she'd been let go from. I had met him once at some company thing I'd gone to with her. She immediately asked me to message him and ask him what he thought of her. She told me she'd had the biggest crush on him the whoooole time she'd worked there and that he was The One for her. We left it at that, with her asking me to promise to message him. I said maybe.

Well, I did message him. And we went on a date. She texted me almost every day asking if I'd heard from him and when I finally responded and said we were going out, she became extremely upset. She asked me to make a choice between him or her. She said I was boyfriend stealing, and that I wasn't a good friend. I wanted to tell her I WASN'T HER FRIEND. So I took her up on her ultimatum, and I chose him over her.

2.5 years later that guy and I live together and have the most gorgeous dog and life. We have a great friend group, great jobs, and our families are so close we've all spent Christmas and Thanksgiving together too. He's so hot and cool. I'm 25 now and he's 29. Our dog is a 1 and a half Aussie!

I've never spoken to Holly again, but since my boyfriend is close to his old coworkers (don't worry, he wasn't fired) who keep up with Holly on social media, I've heard that she moved to L.A. and has cycled through FOUR more companies, each time getting fired. I don't know much else about her life since she blocked me on every single form of social media INCLUDING VENMO. I've never met a person who knew her that didn't think she was bats*it, so that's validation.

The End.


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.