Reddit user APT3993 asked: 'What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?'
When you're on a first date, one of three things will happen. Either you'll like the person and want to go out again, you like the person fine, but not romantically, and won't want to go out again, or the person will display a behavior that is so off-putting (or make you genuinely fearful), that you won't even want to see the person ever again.
My best friend and I are basically the same person, so when she met a guy who he had a lot in common with, she figured I'd like him too and set us up (I had previously told her I was okay with being set up).
Well, it turns out the guy actually hadn't read any of the books, watched any of the shows, or heard of any of the bands he talked about with my friend. I didn't understand why he would lie about all these things until I left the table.
When I came back, he was on the phone with someone and he was telling them he only told her he liked all those things because he liked my friend. When he found out she was in a relationship, he decided he'd let her set us up in the hopes that he could date me until my friend and her boyfriend broke up, and then he could swoop in.
I just walked out and when he finally texted me asking what was up, I told him I overheard him, then proceeded to block him. My friend was mortified to hear about the date, and I decided never to be set up again.
I'm not the only one who has gone on a date and discovered a huge red flag. Redditors have experienced this too, and are eager to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor APT3993 asked:
"What’s the biggest red flag you have seen on a first date?"
Dates Of Relationships Past
"They won't shut up about their ex."
"Had this happen to me on a 2nd date."
"Asked if she could use my computer, I said OK. Then she pulls up her ex's FB profile to browse through it, and she spent the next 10 minutes comparing me to him, saying he she thinks that I will turn out to be controlling and manipulative like him because we both grew up on a farm and we both like cars."
"He angrily told me I would “love” his ex wife. Proceeded to cry while talking about her. They’d been divorced for 5 years. I genuinely hope he is doing better."
"She constantly compared me to her ex, and sat on her phone for most of the night, then expected me to pay for her two bottles of wine, plus really expensive meal and desert."
"She asked me out btw, not the other way around."
I Know What I Want
"The guy who tried to change my order with the waitress because he didn’t think the drink I’d asked for was sufficiently feminine."
"I ordered beer. I don’t remember exactly what he thought I should have, maybe white wine? It was a long time ago."
"The waitress was looking at me like ‘You heard that sh*t too right?’ and I told her actually I wouldn’t have anything, thanks, and I left."
"He changed it FROM A BEER TO SOMETHING ELSE!!?! That’s amazing to me. Like it’s bad enough if you ordered an IPA and he said, “I dunno, sweetie, your delicate female taste buds probably can’t handle the hoppiness. Hey, honey, why don’t we get the lady a Coors.”"
The Position Of Boyfriend
"We met for drinks after work (since we both work in the same industry) and she showed up with a list of interview questions. She literally had a checklist on her phone for me to fill out. I thought she was joking at first, but the questions were extremely personal, like how many sexual partners you've had, the oldest, the youngest; How much money you made the previous year; If you owned a house, a car, a boat, a plane; Did you have a criminal history; Where do you parents live; Are they alive; Who did you vote for in the last election; All kinds of stuff like that."
"I even proposed that we could just use that as a conversation starter and we could work through them like that as a fun way to get to know each other. I was really trying. She tells me that she's not answering any of them because I'm trying to date her, not the other way around!"
"I laughed out loud thinking she was kidding, then realized she was absolutely serious. I wished her all the best in the dating world, chugged my beer, overtipped the waitress, and left."
"Yeah, I would really push that to the limit without getting law enforcement involved. Start with all the times I have ended up in rehabilitation, my abductions by UFO, the wild, kinky sex partners I have had, the millions I have lost before living under a bridge, etc."
Scary As Hell
"Had a guy who insisted on buying the most expensive pizza at the restaurant despite my protests then kissed my head when he walked past me to use the restroom. After dinner we walked along the waterfront, he kissed me and then immediately tried to choke me "to be sexy". First date, last date."
"What the sh*t?? Who taught this idiot that choking in public on the first date all without consent is a great get-to-know-you move??"
"This was literally the day of a first date. But I had matched with an older man when I was still on dating apps. We planned to go on a hike on a very beautiful day by the water. On the day of the date, he wanted me to leave my car at his place, while he drove us through the backwoods so we can beat traffic. I said I’ll be happy to drive myself, and he laughed and canceled. His reasoning was he’s been stood up so many times and he didn’t want to waste his time and me not show up. I said “okay!I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope you find what you are looking for. “and blocked him."
"The red flag was when he genuinely got upset that I didn’t want to ride in a car with a stranger through the backwoods for our first date."
"You should have said “you fear being stood up, I fear being murdered.”"
"He pointed to another woman at the bar and said she was his ex. But she happened to be my lesbian roommate."
"Yes, I told him I knew he was full of it cuz she was my roommate, and I pointed out her girlfriend who was there with her. I don’t remember what he said exactly but he had no choice but to admit he was lying. I wish I had asked why he said it. I assume to make me jealous? Like that’s a good way to start a relationship? Obviously, that was the only date."
Those Who Came Before
"He told me he had been divorced 5 times. I'm taking the advice of 5 women I don't know."
"The way you phrased this killed me 😂"
Got Her Feeling Emotions
"Does bursting into tears after I told them I didn't like a TV show count?"
"I'm curious as to what TV show it was?"
"bursts into tears"
"He took me to his house (he lived with his mom) just so HE could eat dinner with his mom while I sat in the living room. I listened to them eat and talk about my looks like I couldn't hear them. Apparently, I was pretty but "needed to be taken down a peg or two." I said my period had started so I had to go home. A future abuser and his enabler mommy."
"We went to a movie. He spent the first half with his hand inside one of his socks, then pulling it out and smelling it, putting it back in, repeat, repeat."
"Then he spent the second half trying to hold my hand. With his sock hand."
– Deleted User
Bad From The Start
"She asked if I could order for her because she was uncomfortable talking to the brown waitress.
"Added: Same girl would not stop talking about Kardashian gossip even though I told her I know nothing about them and didn’t care to know."
"He showed up drunk with a bouquet of flowers he admitted he stole from his mother's flower shop."
"Went to a charity coffee shop for a date. It was “free” coffee where they just ask for donations which went toward their org’s efforts to feed and house people. They explained this to him and asked if he wanted to make a donation for our drinks."
"He said no."
Oh, yikes! I would be so embarrassed!
In fact, I'm kind of losing faith in dating as a concept.
Reddit user AdditionalDentist100 asked: 'What's something you confessed to your partner that ended your relationship?'
When it comes to romantic relationships, it's a lot harder to maintain a relationship than it is to start one. And unfortunately, it's all too easy to end that relationship.
A lot of things can end a relationship, and sometimes, it could be as simple as a single comment. Sometimes it's so hilariously stupid that you can't fathom being with the person any longer. Other times, the person says something so cruel that you know it's time to run. And sometimes, the comment isn't even necessarily bad -- just ill-timed.
Redditors know all about this and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor AdditionalDentist100 asked:
"What's something you confessed to your partner that ended your relationship?"
"Not me, but someone I know was finally told that her husband was faking his English heritage, background/upbringing in England and fake accent. Dude kept it up for years, eventually admitted that it was all a lie and that he grew up on West Coast."
"I would think that was a lie but there are people who have faked being a 9/11 survivor. Apparently this type of stuff happens more frequently then I'd imagine."
Oh, The Humanity
"That I didn't rinse off the Mac and cheese noodles. This isn't even a joke it's a true story."
"They were done cooking and I didn't rinse them off. And yes this was a break up waiting to happen I guess lol."
"It says right on the box not to rinse them."
"The starch is good for the sauce. Dodged a bullet, I'd rather die alone than eat sh*tty mac & cheese."
The Past Is Not The Past
"Didn't happen to me, but a guy I knew married a girl I knew (both a bit older than me) and everything seemed great. However, they were at a party and someone mentioned that the guy used to smoke weed in high school (he admitted it, didn't think it was a big deal). She divorced him a month later, claiming that she couldn't forgive him for smoking weed. 😳"
"There had to be something else going on with her because this is so ridiculous. It's not even something he was currently doing."
"I didn’t want us to move in together with 6 other relatives."
Three Words, Eight Letters
"I believe it was "I love you.""
"How f**king dare you!"
"Oh yeah, I was out of line."
And She Communicated
"I wanted better communication sooo she broke up with me."
"Loud and clear."
"I said, while crying because he got angry with me at a restaurant, that “I am sometimes afraid to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll react.” And he said, “well, thats f**king pathetic.”"
"My partner had a habit of starting a convo by asking how I felt about something, then would criticize me for feeling what I felt. It always ended up being a debate about why I felt the way I did. It was never okay for me to feel sad, worried, scared, etc."
"Over time I started to feel anxious when he’d ask questions, and purposely responded vaguely, or just straight up said that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing (which would incite anger or more judgment)."
"Eventually my response became exactly that. A teary “I don’t know if I want to share because I’m worried about how you’ll react/respond” and his responses were along the lines of “that’s stupid” “you’re ridiculous” “don’t be an idiot” “seriously?”"
"I don’t know if it’s because I got so used to it, or from being distracted by all the other bigger things in the relationship…but for some reason I didn’t even notice that this was another bad thing until reading this comment. It was just…normal."
Looks Always Matter
"It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade."
"If I knew that I had to peak in middle school I would have at least plucked my eyebrows 🥴"
""Sorry babe, you just weren't hot as a middle schooler. Gotta end it here.""
"True story. I confessed that I wanted to do more for her. I thought I was neglecting her and working too much."
"That next week, she sat me down and told me that I was threatening her independence and that she needed a week to think about us. The week after that, she broke up with me."
"I later got the real reason from her former best friend. She never had a guy who wanted “all in” like I did and panicked."
"At the time I was destroyed. LOL I thought I was going to marry that woman. Turns out I was one woman off and my next relationship would turn into my current family. So all’s well that ends well."
Better This Way
"Broke down crying during a more realistic war movie. She told me to suck it up."
"After she confronted me for drinking too much I finally sought VA disability. Diagnosed with depression, PTSD, anxiety, among other things. Bills started pouring in and I told her we can’t afford certain luxury things because I was the sole breadwinner. I said I felt like I was drowning and my head is slowly slipping under the surface. She told me to “figure it out.”"
""So, I did. We divorced. And I’m much more happy and no longer on the train of “be a man and tighten your boot straps.” I got help and know that it’s okay to do so."
"So much easier to keep your head above water without the anchor around your neck."
The Cards Don't Lie
"That I didn’t believe in astrology and tarot cards. She then said her tarot cards told her to break up with me. Sure dodged a bullet there."
"The tarot cards were right! And still you don’t believe!"
Let's Hear It For The Boy
"I didn’t confess, I just went to a couple bars with her to dance. She left me because “YOU CAN’T DANCE!” Of all the things that she could’ve said that was the weirdest reason ever. Like, I had no response. I was 28. I’m happily married for 22 years now to someone who I constantly do bad dancing for because she thinks it’s hilarious. I mean, since I was told I can’t dance, I developed a habit of dancing badly when celebrating ANYTHING. It’s a real crowd pleaser. I am loved for my bad dancing now."
I can't dance either! But this is exactly why we all need to find someone who loves us for our quirks, not despite them.
Romantic relationships are great. They are full of excitement, fun, and even some stress, though it's mostly good stress (yes, that exists).
However, not all romances are meant to last. Whether it's because you grew apart or you realized the person you were with wasn't who you thought they were, a relationship can end.
Sometimes, those relationships are something you can look back on fondly as you move forward. Other times, they are relationships you regret.
Redditors know a lot about the second type, and are ready to share their stories.
It all started when Redditor Ingenuiie asked:
"What are your dating regrets?"
You Must Matter
"Dont get hung up on someone who doesnt give a f*ck"
"Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option."
"Someone said it first. Probably Abe Lincoln"
"Don’t set yourself on fire to keep them warm"
"Getting so caught up in the fun early stages of the relationship and planning activities for dates that I forgot to just relax and be myself, take it a week at a time and see how things went. Pretty sure it made me seem too pushy, so things didn’t end very well for me. Lesson learned: chill tf out lmao"
"That's me. I still struggle with it now tbh. Although I'm trying to keep a lid on it and just be chill."
"I regret not ending relationships I was unhappy in sooner (like years sooner)"
"I'm in the middle of this right now. I knew 3 years ago but I convinced myself that maybe I was wrong and that things would change. We're still together, and I'll always love her, but I'm not happy, and I don't think I will be until the relationship ends. I can't let this go on much longer. Cheers."
This Is Me
"That I hid some of my hobbies and interests because I was scared they looked dorky."
"As soon as I stopped hiding it I met my partner."
"(Model railways ftw)."
"Never be ashamed of your hobbies. It may make you look like a nerd or a dork but you don't need the kind of people who would make fun of them."
"My SO loves the fact that I'm into model trains (her words, not mine.)"
"She laid it out for me when we first started dating: I'm handy around the house - I can tackle carpentry, electrical work, and have general knowledge about how to troubleshoot/fix things."
"It's a combo of artistry, technology, and history/research so there are always things to learn. It's a generally wholesome hobby that also promotes patience and working towards something over a long period of time instead of rewarding instant gratification."
"It's a fun hobby that I balance with other interests that we do together (outdoorsy stuff, board games, being history nerds.) We love each other for all of who we are, not just parts of who we are, and we wouldn't want the other person to change."
Sometimes, Alone Is Better
"I should not have settled for someone I wasn't super compatible with just because I was lonely"
"This happened to me when I moved to a new city."
"It was great at first because I instantly had fairly large friend group and such but I realized years later just how much I had actually passed up on and compromised on."
"Still not sure I recognize myself anymore."
Love That Lets Go
"Always being the last to let go, and never letting go easy."
"Edit- the never letting go easy is the part I wish I could change."
"Sometimes it’s just who you are as a person. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all have our personality traits that make life easier/harder for certain scenarios."
"That’s the best explanation for me because I certainly can’t seem to learn from previous mistakes no matter how many times I make them."
"To learn from them would mean to stop trying to date entirely"
Take A Chance
"Not taking chances with various girls/ women throughout my life when I had the opportunities to."
"Honestly, this is why I (female) started asking men out. I was doing inventory in the supply closet when I heard my crush and several of his friends talking about me and wondering who I was dating. Because apparently I had to already be dating someone. One of the guys asked my crush if he'd ask me out, the guy laughed and said he didn't have a snowball's chance in hell, so he'd skip the humiliation. The other dudes agreed with him."
"And... I was just sitting there on the other side of the wall with my clipboard and a box of junk going... WTF?!? I started paying a little more attention and realized I got talked about a lot. It was infuriating. How could my dating life be utterly non-existent while guys were having those sorts of conversation about me?"
"So... A couple months later, I walked up to my crush on new year's eve at midnight, kissed him, and told him we should go out. I know I went a bit too far in the other direction from passive behavior, but it worked. He wasn't really coherent for the next half hour, just smiling and staring at me, but we were officially dating the next week."
"Being proactive was generally a very positive thing for me. Men were almost always absolutely thrilled to be asked out, picked up, and taken on a date..."
"YES. This is exactly it. I wish all women knew this. I do the exact same thing and it works like a charm, men love being hit on and asked out! Women, they LOVE it do not be afraid. My boyfriend raves about how I flirted with him so obviously and kind of teased him and then asked him out lol. And I have done exactly that in probably 75% of the relationship I have had. Men like when you pick them and have a lot of confidence and just make it really fun for them to be hit on, and you don't have to be self-conscious about it bc believe me they love it. They hardly ever have this happen to them, usually they have to do the work. And it also just sets a really good tone for the relationship because you're going to ask for the things you want, overall."
"That I didn’t try to date more in my early 20s. Now I’m in my mid 30s with a combined relationship experience of a little over a year."
"I basically have the romantic intelligence of a 16-year-old."
"Looking at this thread, I'm seeing the regrets swing from "I dated even though I didn't like the person/people and they messed me up for future dates." to "I didn't date enough and now I'm not experienced enough for future dates.""
"I'm starting to think this "romantic intelligence" thing isn't about experience so much as self-love and self-confidence which can be found with or without romantic relationships. Plus a little bit of finding the right person."
Rip Off The Band-Aid
"Oh damn my first relationship was this gradual shift from we're in a relationship to we're kinda in a relationship but figuring things out but she still wanted all the things I was doing for her, to we're definitely not in a relationship but still talking regularly, it was months."
"Had I just stepped up and said "okay, this is either a yes or a no, there's no middle ground here, if we're a couple we're a couple but if we aren't, I can't have you in my life right now", it would have spared me QUITE a bit of pain."
Location, Location, Location
"So far my biggest regret was moving half way across the country with someone and when I was struggling to adjust to that location they refused to move a few hours for me to a different location. That really hurt. Felt like I gave up so much for them and it turns out they wouldn't do the same for me. I'll never move for love again."
Keep Some Eggs
"Despite many warnings from people trying to help me, I put all my eggs in the same basket. Married young and devoted myself to someone thinking that devotion would always be reciprocated, but apparently people change even if you don't. Always be prepared for the other shoe to drop, I guess is my advice. Kinda cynical, I know, but recent experiences taught me a lesson I never wanted to learn."
Ouch! That's a lot of regret. But I hold out hope.
Just remember, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince (or princess)!
In any relationship, especially romantic ones, there are dealbreakers. A quality or action the other person does that irks you so much, you don't want to be with that person anymore.
They can be big things. Perhaps you're a homebody, but your partner wants to travel. Or you disagree on your stances about kids or pets.
However, other times, it can be more minor things; things that may not bother most people. For example, my dealbreaker for my last boyfriend was that he could never let commercials play out during a TV show or movie. Once the commercials started, he had to switch the channel and watch something else, even though he then risked missing the other show.
This isn't something that bothers everyone, and seems minor, but it is a dealbreaker for me.
Redditors have their own relationship dealbreakers that they know would seem trivial to most others, and they are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor imthejavafox asked:
"What's a dealbreaker for you in a relationship that might not be a big deal to others?"
"Stopping the microwave before zero and not clearing the time."
"I completely get stopping the microwave before the beep, I do that too. But just push stop a second time to clear the display/bring the clock back up. Super simple fix!"
That's Pretty Specific
"If someone tells me they don’t mind giving my grandmother a ride to Bingo but then hours later they’re nowhere to be found and eventually you get a call from the cops that they were caught doing meth behind a Burger King."
"Yeah I hate that"
"If I had a nickel for every time...."
"You'd have two nickels. Which isn't that many really, but it's odd it happened twice."
Yeah, That's Gross
"Chewing with mouth open."
"I have misophonia and chewing sounds are so incredibly stressful to hear."
I'm In The Car!
"bad driving. if you're texting, driving like a maniac, or having a road rage hissy fit while i'm in the car, count me OUT son"
"I actually made my now ex-boyfriend take driving lessons (he’s 40 btw) before I would get back in the car with him. He was an aggressive and fidgety driver."
Do It Together
"Incompatible hobbies. We don't need to have the same hobbies but, as an example, if they're the type of active people who act as if they may die if they breathe indoors air, then we are not compatible."
Yeah, That's Weird
"My ex used to go up to strangers at the grocery store and ask their opinion on random items. So that."
"He didn’t actually have questions, he just liked the attention"
Speak Like An Adult
"I found out recently that baby talk is a deal breaker for me. Dude speaks 3 languages and he said "peeez" instead of "please" too many times and it just made him unattractive to me."
"I had an ex (first longterm partner ever, dated over a year) who wanted me to babytalk them. First it was just wanting to put their head in my lap in public (mortifying), then wanting praise for everything they checked off in their bullet journal (okay), and then it was "can you pet my hair and talk to me like you're soothing a baby puppy?" And I was like. Yknow, actually, no. I think they run an MCU-themed affirmations blog now."
Never On Time
"Consistent lateness. Everybody is late once in a while because life, but when you have those people who are constantly late for everything, and they leave you waiting for them over and over and over again? I just find it so incredibly disrespectful and it’s a huge deal breaker."
"Or when you are together with a person who's always late, and because of them you are now late from everything as well. All social gatherings, dinner dates, apppintnents, where ever you are going together. My ex got ready to leave but then started a few more "quick" projects to do, whilst I was in panic checking the time and begging him to come to the car already. Really bad match, I have some trauma for being late so I literally did have a panic attack if we were about to be late, but for him it wasn't a big deal and he never understood why I made a scene of it."
Low Key Nights Can Be Fun Too
"Being an annoying extrovert. If you have to be around groups of people every day and every weekend and like to go to the bar to drink every chance you get AND if you talk too much, we’re not going to work out. I’m an introvert and a homebody that likes to keep things low key and we should enjoy each other’s company without having to talk all the time to fill the air. Luckily, my spouse is an introvert like me so we mesh well."
"Haha same I'm like you ever heard of a video game????"
A Little Respect
"Not respecting boundaries. Like “don’t tickle me…I hate it!” Them, “but it’s so funny…lighten up!”"
"God I hate this. My brother just couldn’t understand the concept of me asking him to stop doing something for no other reason than I don’t like it/it bothers me. Like do you respect me? Why would you want someone you respect to endure something like that if there is no need..?"
My Horoscope Says...
"People who base their entire life and personality off zodiac signs"
"Not washing their hands after eating with their hands….Licking their fingers and wiping it off on their clothes thinking that’s "clean enough….""
"Yeah i really hate dirty hands"
"I had met a cute guy, first date went great. Second date he asked me to the movies. We ordered popcorn (with butter) and he went to town on it, licking all the butter off his fingers. Then proceeded to put his hand on my thigh and trying to hold my hand. I’ve never gotten the ick and been so repulsed in such a short amount of time. It’s a bummer because otherwise he had a really clean cut/great hygiene but I just couldn’t move forward haha"
My Pets Are My Family
"If they don't like animals, it's an absolute deal breaker."
"I dated a guy that would say your f*cking cat when he would come over but he wasn't being funny. He hated my cat. I couldn't trust him around her. I ended it quickly with him."
On The Other Hand...
"Also the opposite... Refusing to post a single picture of us together. It doesn't have to be slathered all over socials, but that one really good picture of us on the mountain top? Why not post that?"
"This one hits close to home. Dated and loved this girl for a year and she wouldn’t even let me post a pic of us dressed up nice to go to my friends wedding. Felt like she was hiding me from someone."
I have to agree with both of those!
Although romantic relationships are wonderful, they aren't all sunshine and rainbows. Relationships are hard. Every couple has issues.
Sometimes, you can work through these issues, but other times, they are relationship enders.
Redditors have identified the exact moment in which a relationship ended, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor HM333XOXO asked:
“What made you realize the relationship was over?"
What's The Point?
"When the things they did didn’t make me mad anymore. I just didn’t care. At all. So it was easy to walk away."
"The opposit of love is not hate, but indifference"
"This is exactly what happened with the last long term relationship I was in before I met my wife. It took about an hour for me to go from thinking I was in love to realizing I didn't love her, I didn't hate her, I just didn't care so what was the point. The only break up I ever had where I felt nothing afterwards....no sorrow, no guilt, no relief, no freedom...just over"
"When my ex would state 10 seconds into every argument (which became more frequent) that "maybe we don't belong together.""
"I think it was her way of guilting me into ending the argument and switching to comforting/assuring her, but one time she said it and I was just like "well, maybe you're right""
"I knew right then that we were done, there was no walking that back, and I felt so much relief."
"Dude, I’m sorry, I had that too. I remember my ex would always say “if you think you deserve someone better, you can leave”. She had a lot of trauma in her childhood, and so I always tried to take it as a defense mechanism, so I would reassure her that I didn’t want to break up, but I want to talk about things that were bothering me (mainly that she wasn’t very affectionate and never expressed her feelings, so I always felt like we were just friends) and some other issues. Anyway, I finally broke up with her one time after she said it, and there was just no fight and that was it. It’s been almost a year and I still feel like the whole relationship was a brain f*ck lol."
"When I woke up three days post surgery — there had been a cancer scare and complications — I whispered to my husband. “Could you get me some ice chips?” Mind you, I had not been out of bed or eating/drinking, much less awake. He said, stone-faced, “get them yourself.” Not at that moment, but when I processed it later, I knew I could not grow old and be vulnerable with him. Years later, his excuse was that he had just been on the phone with his mother."
Misery Loves Company
"I won an all expenses paid trip for two to the Superbowl courtesy of Budweiser. Had a bunch of extras given, vip tickets to concerts happening the days leading to the Superbowl, a superbowl experience trip, was supposed to go golfing, vip tickets to the pre-show and game tickets in a section with unlimited free booze. Then husband was a total a**hole the entire time. Refused to do any of the included activities. Only wanted to find craft beer bars to hang out in."
"At one point got sh*t-faced and wondered around the hotel in a bathrobe yelling at random people while the head of the Budweiser distributor in my town is sitting down trying to recruit me for a job. The morning of the Superbowl he decides he doesn't want to go and wants to sell the tickets instead. So I sell the tickets and hand him $14k from the sale of the tickets. (Have an interesting story about who bought them). It was that moment I understood that this person was miserable and there was nothing in the world that could ever make them happy, and I needed to get the f*ck out."
Not Me Anymore
"When I realized I did not like the person I had become in the relationship."
"Same. I was terrified when I realised I slowly turn into his mother. Harsh, demanding, ordering him what to do, yelling if he didn't do something important after I asked and reminded 100 times etc. because when I'm being myself (nonchalant, calm, joking about stuff) he didn't lift a finger to do anything."
"Was making tea and spilled it on a counter? Unless I saw it and said "Go take a rag and wipe it" he wouldn't do it. Like, I legit tried not to tell him anything to find how long it'll take him no notice. Date plans? Only when I find a place and tell him we're going there, otherwise the only option was to hang out at his place, cook something together (if I find a recipe, write down a list of ingredients and we both go shopping) or watch a movie (if I decide what to watch)."
"Broke up because I know there are women who love this kind of dynamic, but it sure ain't me."
Disregard For Human Life
"When she told me to stop trying to control her for asking her to stop drinking and driving"
"She had a car accident a few hours later and almost died"
"I don't care if you're irresponsible with your own life but when you drink and drive you put others at risk and the fact a 24 year old had to be told not to do that was shocking"
"An excellent counselor told me, "Do you know what's worse than coming home to an empty house? Coming home to a house that's more empty because of the person waiting there.""
"When I found out he was already in a relationship with a different girl before he even met me, yet still approached me and started a relationship with me. And continued to date her. While dating me. The entire time we were together."
It's All About The Compatability
"When she started getting into astrology, started treating me completely different because of my star sign."
"When I realized I was the only one planning our future and he was just there riding along with whatever I came up with. It felt very lonely and exhausting. I wanted a life partner that could help lead the way and carry the load with me."
"This is a huge issue with relationships. He probably had much different ideas for the future he wanted. Telling you would probably end the relationship so he just played the delay game stretching out the time with you doing what he wanted as long as possible."
"Kind of why me and my ex broke up. She had the same exact issue with me that you had with your ex. Truth is she wasn’t interested in what I wanted in the future at all. Our passions are completely different and I will never give up who I am to please someone else. She’s an indoors, shopping, going out to eat, not active person. I love the outdoors, I love the ocean, I love snowboarding, skating, playing sports, fishing, camping, bonfires on the beach, camping out on the beach. She would come fishing with me occasionally and want to leave 30 minutes in because she was bored. Took me a while to realize that I was always doing things for her because I cared about her but she wouldn’t do those same things for me. She would call me a narcissist all the time. Projection? It sounds like I’m tooling on her but I still care a lot about her."
"The doctor says, “I think you have stomach cancer. I want to scope your stomach at 5:00 am.” I was terrified. I just went home and sat stunned on the couch with the dogs for hours until she got home from work."
"She gets home. I ask her to sit down. I tell her what the doctor said. I tell her that I’ll need her to take off work the next day because i won’t be able to drive afterwards and I need her to drive me."
"“But I don’t want to miss work,” she says."
"That’s the exact moment I knew our marriage was over."
"I hated hearing her car pull in the driveway when she got off work."
Ouch, that's hard!
We applaud these folks for taking their leave and hopefully finding someone who does meet their needs.
Do you have anything that was the proverbial final nail in the coffin? Let us know in the comments below.