Listen, we've all had those brain fart moments where we do something so astronomically stupid that we wonder how we have survived as long as we have and if maybe we should have a chaperone since we clearly can't be trusted with out own well-being. No shame. No shade. Deep down inside, we are all really really dumb. Really.
So let's stop lying about it. Let's just put it all out there and talk about it. I'll go first. Hi, my name is Erica and I am a raging moron sometimes. So are these people.
Mad Respect
Once I didn't feel like I could keep going with my job (I didn't feel comfortable there), I said f*ck this and yelled at my manager. Thing is I needed the job; family was going through a rough time.
Next day I showed up and my manager ringed me up, he told me he understood my frustration and recommended meditation, told me not to lash out on him again like that.
I still left a few months later, but I still feel mad respect for the guy after that.
- alymassa
The Flood
Basement flooded, 4' of water.
A humidifier (ironic) was on, plugged in, and making weird noises because it was submerged in water.
My barely awake brain went "must unplug that" and I waded through the 4' of water to unplug it.
I lived, yay.
Gross Gravy
GiphyI was opening a can of food for my cat, and some of the gravy got on my finger. My brain went on autopilot and I licked my finger clean. I regretted it immediately.
Cartoon Slide
When I was 10 I was on vacation and wanted to show off and run into a window and then slide down like those characters in cartoons do. I hit the window and it broke so I walked to the back of the building I broke the window of and I told the people I was running and didn't see the window. I wonder if they bought that.
Phones Are Fun
My boyfriend left his phone at my apartment so I texted him to let him know.
I cracked my screen and took a screenshot to send to the dude I was dating. He responded: "Did you really just try to send me a screenshot of your cracked screen?!"
Yeah, extra dumb.
Call The Locksmith
My daughter, who was five at the time, went into our (my wife and I's) bathroom and managed to lock herself in (the lock on the door is weird and problematic). She couldn't get out, so I had to call a locksmith. It took him a solid two hours to get her out of there. He finally gets it open, but at this point we're late for our dinner reservation with my wife's family, so we agree he'll come by later in the week to fix the lock. He tells me very clearly "Don't shut this door until I fix it. If you do, this will happen again." (I'm sure you can all guess where this is headed, and you're right).
The next day, home alone, I walk in there to take a leak and reflexively shut the door behind me. I spent about half an hour trying to get out before I finally called the locksmith. That convo went like this:
"Hey, uh, you were over at my place yesterday."
"Oh yeah, yeah, I remember! You're calling to schedule the follow-up?"
"Well actually, uh...it happened again. I'm stuck in the bathroom right now."
five second pause
"Are you serious?"
Guy was a real professional. Never before or since have I heard such polite astonishment packed into a three word question. He came over again, but obviously he had to charge us for it. Possibly the most expensive way I've ever embarrassed myself.
Out Of The Frying Pan...
Dropped something into a deep fryer that was at cooking temperature - and then proceeded to reach in and grab it. Definitely not my brightest moment...
Had a thin glove on so could have been worse but had blisters on my fingers and hand for a while after.
Alcohol Poisoning
13 different types of alcohol in a matter of 3 hours. I was 21, had alcohol poisoning for 2 days. Surprised I didn't die. I dry heaved for over 24 hours. Think food poisoning, mixed with vertigo, and the flu. I legit thought I was going to die.
Spiderman
GiphyBack in college...I leave my third story apt to go play basketball with a friend and see my crush on the phone down on the first floor (outside). As I get to the second story I decide to throw the ball down and try to scare her. It doesn't work and she catches it on the first bounce.
That's when MY DUMBASS JUMPED OFF THE SECOND STORY in a pair of chuck converse sneakers like I was Spiderman.
I land flat footed and shattered both my heels and several bones in my feet. I was relegated to a pair of crutches which really sucked going up 3 stories everyday. Turns out me crawling into her apartment in searing pain didn't totally turn her off as that was 15 years ago and we've been married for 10 now. Till this day I think..."why tf did I do that?"
The Tree
One time I was driving and I hit a tree. Not on the side of the road but in the middle. It was a clear, regular day. I could see the fallen tree from a distance. I definitely didn't want to hit the tree.
I'm still not sure how or why I did that.
My parents had me take a defensive driving course when I was just learning how to drive (not at all related to any of the required driving courses), and the big lesson that stuck with me from that course was "Look where you want to go".
Instinctively, drivers will end up turning the steering wheel towards whatever it is they're looking at. So probably in your situation, you were so focused on not hitting the tree, that you focused your eyes on the tree, so you instinctively and accidentally turned your car's wheel toward the tree, so you hit the tree.
- Ldfzm
Dustbusted
My friend and I found an old dustbuster in his parents' garage, when we were in middle school. We were taking it apart and got to the battery pack with two wires coming out of it. I said we should each touch one of the wires to our tongues, then touch our fingers and see if we got a shock. My friend rejected my offer. So I put both wires on my tongue...
My body literally lifted off the ground like a cartoon character getting electrocuted. I think my legs straightened out instantly from a spasm or something, I'm not really sure what happened, but I jumped probably 6-12 inches off the ground and felt an intense shock throughput my entire body. First and last time I have been legit electrocuted. When I landed the thing dropped on the ground and the pain stopped, but I was stunned for a moment.
Looking back i have no idea what compelled me to do that. I guess I thought the battery was dead or something, and wouldn't have any effect. I probably could have died, not sure, but I stay the fuck away from electrical currents now.
- e__west
Box Cutter
I looked at a box cutter and thought, hmm this doesn't look that sharp.. So I proceeded to press it on my thumb... Well, it was sharp enough to cut my thumb at least 😂
- arnit10
Hug
I accidentally hugged a random guy in a restaurant. I thought he was my older brother who I was really close with at the time. Turns out he was a 50 something year old man who wasn't even the same race as me and my brother. I just judged by his coat that looked like my brother. He was laughing a lot, and a lot of people looked concerned. That was 2 years ago, and I still regret it. Hope that the random hug brightened up his day a bit though.
Mean Girls
Giphy6th grade graduation ceremony. They were giving an award to some lady,for helping the school or something.
I was thinking about that scene from Mean Girls that spawned the infamous like "She doesn't even go here!"
I don't know wtf happened, but I SAID IT INSTEAD OF JUST THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
Everyone turned around. I did too trying to cover up that it was me.
Zapped
I was eating something saucy and a bit spilled on the end of my laptop's charging cable. I licked it off without thinking and zapped myself.
Checking My Theory
I had to be 12 or so when I did this. I was walking towards a road with a friend to cross it. A car was coming down the road.
My mind went "The car is fast enough that if it arrives at the point where I'm crossing over before I'm there, I don't need to slow down. Win time!"
I don't really know why it was important, but it was during my period where I was tried to be right about everything. Anyway, it seemed like it would be a very very close call, but my brain didn't stop so neither did my body.
I wanted to check my theory. Almost died.
- Lawnio
Platform 9 1/2
I am in my 20's now and when Harry Potter first came out I was very young. I was a huge fan. Well I guess one day I got carried away because I ran into a wall at a train station like you have to to get on the train to Hogwarts. In front of my entire family. I hit the wall so hard that I got a bloody nose.
Transphobic Humor
Most recent one was in my Cultural Anthropology class. We were on the topic of sexuality and gender, specifically trans individuals. The professor said that the term "transsexual" is offensive to some. So, thinking it would be funny, I asked, "Well what do you call them? Penis-enabled?"
Nobody thought it was funny and I came off as transphobic in a class full of easily offended people. Right before this I was working with an actively transitioning coworker, she's so funny and we talk like old friends about whatever. I told her about that later and she laughed her ass off, but the whole class took it so seriously.
Also we were looking at illustrated representations of ambiguous genitalia. I thought it would be funny to say "oh so it's a typical ~current day of the week~ for me..."
It was not funny. I dunno wtf is wrong with me.
- AyyAway
Pancakes
GiphyWell I mistakenly added salt to flour when making pancakes this morning. Instead of throwing it all out and starting over I tried to "save" it by adding double the sugar.
It was shit.
You don't have to stick with mistakes.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.