Gift giving can be rough. That's why so many people just opt for gift cards - it's easier than wracking your brain trying to come up with that perfect thing that the giftee might have anyway. Some people opt for "creative" gifts instead ... and those people are awesome.
Okay, so the gifts themselves might be awful, but the stories they leave you with are absolutely worth it.
Reddit user Daveyyyyyyyy asked:
What's the weirdest birthday present you've ever received?
The answers didn't stay on birthday gifts for long. Turns out, there's apparently never a wrong time to give the gift of weird.
A Signed Cereal Box
When I turned 18, about twenty of my friends threw a surprise party in my basement and as a gift, one of my friends gave me one of those mini boxes of coco crispies, and everyone at the party signed the box before I got there. His explanation was: "I wasn't even told we were throwing you a surprise party until like an hour and a half ago so I panicked and looked around my house for a good last minute gift, then I saw that box sitting on the kitchen counter and it was just meant to be"
I still have that box sitting on my dresser to this day.
Sexually Awkward
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My significant other's parents got us like 15 sex related items for her birthday. Cuffs, paddles, whips, leather straps, two vibrators, lube, etc.
We had to just sit there and open each item, thank them, and then move on to the next item hoping it would be like a shirt or something... Nope
Reject Pile Underwear
My mom once got me misshapen underwear.
It was sold at dollar stores and was like a reject pile where one leg hole was very big and one was very tiny.
She got me like 5 pairs of it - also once someone gave me a half burned candle.
Grandma And Her Gifts
When I turned twelve, my grandmother gave me one half of a pool cue (she'd unscrewed it and gave me one portion). My younger brother received the other half for his ninth birthday a month later. We did not own a pool table.
Loooots of stories about grandma and her gifts.
A bag of combs. My grandmother is a retired hairdresser. She is also one to save everything. Well, during my horribly awkward teenage years, I'd begun using product to style my hair in an attempt to look cool. Grandma took notice and gifted me a plastic freezer bag absolutely filled with used combs and partially-used hair styling products that she'd saved from her salon over the years. Grandma: "...well, you know, you're just so into your looks these days, I thought you could put those to use."
One year she gave me two shirts and a pair of plastic flip-flops, so I could look stylish in the summer. The shirts were not only horribly patterned, but were size XLT, which she'd originally purchased for my Grandpa, but they were too big for him
Grandma decided to give them to me, claiming: "He'll grow into them!" I was eight years old. The sandals were very obviously a pair of complimentary flip-flops from a hotel my grandparents had visited back in the 60's. They were so old that they shattered - yes, shattered - when I put them on my feet.
The Barbara Bag. When I got my driver's license, Grandma thought she'd celebrate the occasion by gifting me a road safety kit (essentially a small bag filled with items one might need in the event of a car-related emergency). The only issue was that this kit was pink and filled with items specifically for a woman - i.e. pink jumper cables, pink gloves, pink flashlight, and, most importantly, feminine products. The kit bag also had the name "Barbara" embroidered on it. Opening that in front of my drunk uncles on Christmas Day is something I will not soon forget.
Weirdest - But Coolest
A fake ear made of silicon or something, with a Van Gogh birthday card inside which he wrote "I'll always be here to listen" He's my best friend, and that's the weirdest but coolest gift I've gotten.
The Priest And The Police
A mace. As in the medieval weapon. My brother made it. Mailed it to me. The mailman accidentally delivered to the rectory where the priest lived (I was living in a convent at the time). It had a good-natured, but profane, note included. The priest thought it was some kind of threat, and called the cops. Fun birthday.
Used
I got an open bag of gum balls from my uncle and aunt once. Strangest part was that someone had chewed a few of the gum balls, rolled the chewed gum into a ball, and placed it back in the bag. The same uncle and aunty gave me a wrapped box of used toothbrushes a couple years back.
The Gift Of Me
A small whittled statue of...me. My cousin considers herself an artist and recently took up wood carving. She presented it to me at my birthday party we were holding in my backyard. Folks gathered around because usually she makes paintings of our beautiful Vermont countryside but the box obviously didn't hold a painting, I opened it and held up the small wooden statue of...me.
"You made the hands too big." cracked my wife.
I keep it in my camp on the lake. Creeps the hell out of me.
The Biggest Box
I was one of those kids that would just want to play with cardboard boxes all the time to make "cities" or "stores" or whatever I could out of cardboard. So for my 5th birthday my parents just got me the biggest cardboard box they could find. I was ecstatic.
- bpvwf
Ketchup
My MIL got my husband a "I put ketchup on my ketchup" shirt in a XXXL. My husband HATES ketchup, and wears a medium.
My husband said: "That's funny because I hate ketchup."
His mom argued with him on and off the rest of the day about him loving ketchup.
The Alligator Guilt Trip
On my 12th birthday my father came home right around sunset and walked immediately up to me and handed me his keys.
"Go check out what's in the trunk." He said.
I immediately got suspicious, yet I was hopeful because it was my birthday.
I was putting the trunk key in on that huge old 1992 crown Victoria trunk lock and I could see him off to my right and a ways behind me. He was lighting a cigarette and nodding over my head at a neighbor on the other side of the car.
The neighbor, Bill, had a big grin and a tallboy of Lonestar.
I cracked open the trunk lid in the growing gloom. The lid seemed to take an eternity to get to the top of its arc and turn the trunk light on. When it did the 4 foot alligator in the trunk hissed like a 150 lbs of steam getting vented and it flopped up trying to get out of the trunk.
I screamed and ran away.
My dad and Bill laughed so hard that Bill pissed himself and dropped his beer. My dad accidentally dropped his cigarette too and that was just further fuel for the hilarity.
It turns out the alligator had his mouth duct taped shut and his front legs taped to his body. So I wasn't in any real danger. My dad and I released the gator at a local levy that needed help getting rid of nutria rats (supposedly, I'll never know if that was true.)
On the way back to town I asked "so what did you get me for my birthday?"
Dad then gave me a guilt trip on being too materialistic.
So weirdest gift, a four foot alligator and a guilt trip.
Dragon Tails
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For my 17th birthday I was given a copy of Dragon Tales, the PBS kids show aimed at 5-7 year olds, on VHS, in 2006.
- 22cthulu
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.