"What made you walk out of a date?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor PorridgeBeforeBed, and it's a doozy.
You see, dating can be fun and all, until you run into someone worth running far, far away from. People soon lined up to tell their stories, and let's just say we're personally thrilled not to have run into any of these people yet!
"I instantly got up..."
Took a gal to Starbucks, bought us both a drink so we could sit and talk. About 5 minutes into it she takes a phone call from a co-worker, puts it on speakerphone and begins to savagely sh!t talk everyone the two work with. On speakerphone, in a small semi busy Starbucks, both parties cussing up a storm. The barista at the counter ask her to take the call off speaker as people were trying to study (they were) and she proceeds to argue with the barista about how she can't take it off speakerphone, blah blah blah. I instantly got up and apologized to the barista on my way out of the store. Didn't message her, didn't hear from her.
"Had a date tell me..."
Giphy
Had a date tell me in the restaurant that her boyfriend never takes her anywhere and the only reason she agreed to come out with me was to make him jealous. This was after we had ordered. Figured she had to call her boyfriend for assistance on that one.
"She just kept talking..."
She just kept talking about work endlessly. I tried to change topics by asking if she had any hobbies. Nope. just ranted about how work wouldn't let her pursue any. Would just keep on talking about herself, how tired she was because of work, and basically made it seem like she was doing me a favour by coming out on this date, when she could have worked. She did not even ask me any questions. Every now and then would check her phone and would nod in 'hmm' and 'yeah pretty much'. I made up an excuse, and left.
"She casually..."
She casually referred to our waitress as the N word. I said nothing, stood up and left. Plenty of catches in good ol PA but she was not one of them.
"Pretty much after greeting..."
Pretty much after greeting she was checking her phone the entire time and only talking about herself. Constantly interrupting me.
"During the date..."
Matched with her on tinder and we bonded over our shared love of food. She mentioned not having gone to any good restaurants in town and was tired of places like Kelsey's or Lonestar. Decided to take her to a really nice place in town as I had just got my tax returns and could afford a $200 meal.
During the date she talked with me and was engaged right up to when she ordered her food, an appetizer, wine, dinner, a second dinner for lunch the next day and dessert. After her order was placed she took out her phone and spent the next 20 minutes just browsing Instagram while I tried to talk with her. Excused myself to the bathroom and instead talked to the waitress. Got her to cancel my meal and dessert (only had my appetizer at that point). Split the bill and paid what the 20% tip for the whole thing would have been as it wasn't fair for the waitress to loose out on her tip. My phone blew up about 5 minutes later when the waitress told her what was up.
See the funny thing is, I have no problem paying for a date even if there isn't a spark if my date at least is engaging/respectful. But being used for a free meal, nah f that, there are more deserving people with less in the world that I'd rather give back to.
"I apologized..."
Raged at the waiters and servers for cutting a piece of meat wrong. Raged at me for trying to help. I apologized to the waiters and bailed leaving her with the bill.
"She and I were..."
It wasn't so much a date, but I was at a party at a friend's house in my early 20s and hit it off well with one of their friends. She and I were talking and dancing all night. Towards the end of the night we were cuddled up on the couch and I was getting ready to kiss her when she said "I'm so glad you're here to keep me company, I've been so lonely since my husband was deployed." She had not mentioned being married until that point and I literally pushed her off of me and noped right out of there and never looked back.
"This was in the space..."
I went on a date with a girl that brought her sister along (she didn't mention she would bring her). Went to a pub and got a drink, sat down next to this girl who was her sister which they just talked to each other. Then her sister got a call from a friend which she said to join them. 2 minutes later her friend turned up. This was in the space of 5 minutes and I had just brought a drink so wanted to finish it but felt it was too weird. Got up to leave and they ask if I could buy both the girls drinks. I said sure, went round to the bar and then just walked out. Didn't feel like i needed to explain myself.
"I was set up..."
I was set up by an aunt of hers because (I think) I danced with old ladies at a wedding and her aunt must have thought I was nice. Anyways, girl really didn't seem interested in being there. I told her she didn't owe me anything and she shouldn't feel obligated to be here. I then explained lemon laws and applied it to dating. We paid for our own drinks and left without issue.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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