"What made you walk out of a date?" –– This was today's burning question from Redditor PorridgeBeforeBed, and it's a doozy.
You see, dating can be fun and all, until you run into someone worth running far, far away from. People soon lined up to tell their stories, and let's just say we're personally thrilled not to have run into any of these people yet!
"I instantly got up..."
Took a gal to Starbucks, bought us both a drink so we could sit and talk. About 5 minutes into it she takes a phone call from a co-worker, puts it on speakerphone and begins to savagely sh!t talk everyone the two work with. On speakerphone, in a small semi busy Starbucks, both parties cussing up a storm. The barista at the counter ask her to take the call off speaker as people were trying to study (they were) and she proceeds to argue with the barista about how she can't take it off speakerphone, blah blah blah. I instantly got up and apologized to the barista on my way out of the store. Didn't message her, didn't hear from her.
"Had a date tell me..."
Giphy
Had a date tell me in the restaurant that her boyfriend never takes her anywhere and the only reason she agreed to come out with me was to make him jealous. This was after we had ordered. Figured she had to call her boyfriend for assistance on that one.
"She just kept talking..."
She just kept talking about work endlessly. I tried to change topics by asking if she had any hobbies. Nope. just ranted about how work wouldn't let her pursue any. Would just keep on talking about herself, how tired she was because of work, and basically made it seem like she was doing me a favour by coming out on this date, when she could have worked. She did not even ask me any questions. Every now and then would check her phone and would nod in 'hmm' and 'yeah pretty much'. I made up an excuse, and left.
"She casually..."
She casually referred to our waitress as the N word. I said nothing, stood up and left. Plenty of catches in good ol PA but she was not one of them.
"Pretty much after greeting..."
Pretty much after greeting she was checking her phone the entire time and only talking about herself. Constantly interrupting me.
"During the date..."
Matched with her on tinder and we bonded over our shared love of food. She mentioned not having gone to any good restaurants in town and was tired of places like Kelsey's or Lonestar. Decided to take her to a really nice place in town as I had just got my tax returns and could afford a $200 meal.
During the date she talked with me and was engaged right up to when she ordered her food, an appetizer, wine, dinner, a second dinner for lunch the next day and dessert. After her order was placed she took out her phone and spent the next 20 minutes just browsing Instagram while I tried to talk with her. Excused myself to the bathroom and instead talked to the waitress. Got her to cancel my meal and dessert (only had my appetizer at that point). Split the bill and paid what the 20% tip for the whole thing would have been as it wasn't fair for the waitress to loose out on her tip. My phone blew up about 5 minutes later when the waitress told her what was up.
See the funny thing is, I have no problem paying for a date even if there isn't a spark if my date at least is engaging/respectful. But being used for a free meal, nah f that, there are more deserving people with less in the world that I'd rather give back to.
"I apologized..."
Raged at the waiters and servers for cutting a piece of meat wrong. Raged at me for trying to help. I apologized to the waiters and bailed leaving her with the bill.
"She and I were..."
It wasn't so much a date, but I was at a party at a friend's house in my early 20s and hit it off well with one of their friends. She and I were talking and dancing all night. Towards the end of the night we were cuddled up on the couch and I was getting ready to kiss her when she said "I'm so glad you're here to keep me company, I've been so lonely since my husband was deployed." She had not mentioned being married until that point and I literally pushed her off of me and noped right out of there and never looked back.
"This was in the space..."
I went on a date with a girl that brought her sister along (she didn't mention she would bring her). Went to a pub and got a drink, sat down next to this girl who was her sister which they just talked to each other. Then her sister got a call from a friend which she said to join them. 2 minutes later her friend turned up. This was in the space of 5 minutes and I had just brought a drink so wanted to finish it but felt it was too weird. Got up to leave and they ask if I could buy both the girls drinks. I said sure, went round to the bar and then just walked out. Didn't feel like i needed to explain myself.
"I was set up..."
I was set up by an aunt of hers because (I think) I danced with old ladies at a wedding and her aunt must have thought I was nice. Anyways, girl really didn't seem interested in being there. I told her she didn't owe me anything and she shouldn't feel obligated to be here. I then explained lemon laws and applied it to dating. We paid for our own drinks and left without issue.
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
Song Choice
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
– KentuckyFriedEel
School Protocol
"Advice I received in high school from other students:"
"Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee."
"When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist."
"Never button the top button of your shirt."
– Gorf_the_Magnificent
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
– SonOfTheShire
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
– captainmagictrousers
Getting Woodwind
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
– Virtual_Caramell
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
Daddy Duty
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
– Bullydaddy
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
– Freshrendar
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
– Caity26
Life Skills
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
– placeholderNull
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
– desrever1138
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
Manly Appetite
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
– BigJiggies
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
– AmigoDelDiabla
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
– patricksaurus
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
– Sargatanus
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
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