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Waiters Share The Most Convoluted Orders They've Ever Taken

Waiters Share The Most Convoluted Orders They've Ever Taken
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Waiting tables can be arduous work. It can also be rather rewarding, provided your customers tip decently (but that's another story we'll probably reserve for a different article).

One of the toughest parts about being a waiter: Customers who are so particular that taking their orders becomes an exercise in patience.

Today's burning question comes from Redditor Braumsisdabomb, who asked: "Waiters and waitresses of Reddit, what's the most convoluted order you've ever taken?"

Brace yourselves, people.


"Not necessarily a convoluted order..."

Not necessarily a convoluted order but I think this still fits here. I work at a from scratch Italian restaurant. Had a guy come in with his wife and sit at the bar on a busy Saturday night. He informed me he was following the "TB12 diet" from Tom Brady's new diet and exercise book and had very strict dietary restrictions because of this. He sent me back and forth to the kitchen no less than 7 times to verify with the chef that his dinner order would have no iodized salt,

sugar, olive oil, gluten, peppers, or tomatoes (he ended up with a plain piece of fish and some vegetables). We were getting slammed, but I still tried to keep my patience and accommodate the guy the best I could, even though doing so was putting me in the weeds. After dinner I ask if they would like anything else and don't you know this guy orders himself a bread pudding (VERY much filled with forbidden gluten and sugar) and eats the whole thing. He just goes "well, I mean, you have to allow yourself a treat now and then." I died a little more inside.

zombieaac

"I previously worked at a wing shop."

I previously worked at a wing shop. Guy calls and asks for 24 mild traditional wings. He then proceeds to ask for them to be fried twice (no big deal, that's pretty common). He also wants them covered in Mexican shredded cheese, put in the microwave for 30 seconds, drizzled with mayonnaise, and wants his side of fries placed on the wings rather than in a separate container. Finally, he requested to have pickle juice squeezed lightly across the top of everything. Obviously all the waiters, cooks, and waitresses thought this was disgusting...but we had never smelled something so amazing come from the kitchen in our lives. (Did not taste as pleasant as it smelled.)

AlbinoGiraffes

"She once returned the drink..."

Coffee frappuccino, half&half instead of milk, coffee filled up to 2/5ths of the cup before blending, light ice, two shots espresso, shake ingredients then blend it three times, use half the bottle of caramel drizzle on the sides of the cup before pouring the drink in, extra extra whipped cream, then add more caramel drizzle to the top. This woman came in every day, watched you make her drink, and would force you to remake it over and over until she was satisfied.

She once returned the drink for not having enough caramel drizzle. As I was remaking it, the cap blew off of the drizzle bottle and nearly the entire contents oozed into the cup. It being frappuccino happy hour, I said "f*ck it" and gave it to her like that. She said it was the best she's ever tasted.

The entire store absolutely loathed frappuccinos.

MyManMenderly

"I'm still just blown away by this woman."

I serve food at a country club so I deal entirely with people that have more wealth than I'll probably ever had. A lot of these people are really nice and are actually friendly, however many are also very snobby, high maintenance, and just rude.

One night I had a table. It was two couples on a double date and both couple were less than friendly. One woman ordered a salmon (I can't remember the rest because this one woman was the bane of my existence).

I serve them entrees and let them eat for a while before I do the typical "how's everyone doing?" 9 times out of 10 everyone just says everything is fine and just want me to leave so they can eat. Not this lady. She calls me over and tells me she didn't think I gave her salmon. Looking at her plate I can see the fish is pink and is very very clearly salmon (I've served the salmon hundreds of times) she insists i Go ask the kitchen what fish it was. Of course it's salmon.

Which i return and tell her politely that it is indeed salmon. She gets angry and tells me how it doesn't taste like any salmon she ever had and that she had had salmon many times and that what I served her wasn't salmon. After getting more and more angry about not having salmon she looks me dead in the eyes and says "this tastes like turtle" I honestly didn't know how to react so I just asked if she was sure and she says "yes, I actually like it. But it isn't salmon"

I'm still just blown away by this woman. She got so angry with me about this "mix up". We don't serve turtle, I don't know anywhere that does. And she liked it? I don't understand these people's lives.

Royaltoolbox

"Then he had the nerve to complain..."

A half rack of ribs, no sauce, well done, microwaved after taking it off the grill for 5 minutes, 8 sides of thousand island dressing to dip it in, broccoli, no butter, triple steamed, a sweet potato with 4 sides of sour cream, a water with no ice and then two cups of ice. Then 15 minutes later decided he wanted another half rack of ribs the same way. This was a year ago but I will never forget because he snapped at me a ton of times while I was talking to other customers. Then he had the nerve to complain to my manager because his rolls came late, but they had just been popped into the oven and were baking when he ordered them. F*ck that guy.

caehoosier

"Worked at a fancy country club."

Giphy

Worked at a fancy country club. Some 14-year old kid always threw a fit about his food being seasoned so the parents let him order what he wanted. 12 oz filet mignon, no seasoning, no butter, no oil, cooked well done, served on a plate with two dinner rolls, also with no butter. The chefs were pissed at this kid for complaining about everything they made so they were happy to make his food the way he wanted. The kid ordered it every week they came in from then on. Yes, he still got charged for the salad, vegetables, and starch option that would have came with the meal. Also an older woman would come in on Sunday mornings and order burnt toast, heavily buttered, and one strip of bacon with a cup of burnt coffee. She had been coming there for years and we'd put on a pot of coffee before we opened so it would be old by 10am when she showed up. People are weird.

Nevermorezorz

"We called it the Corey special..."

We called it the Corey special, because this guy would come in every week and get the same exact thing. Large yumm and greens vegan sub avocado, add cabbage and carrots 1/2 sauce sub nori, add tempeh, no chips sub crispy noodles, on a plate, half rice sub greens. He was a super nice guy though, so nobody really minded that he had the order from hell.

lightningbug3

"One customer, two orders."

One customer, two orders.

The first would be paid by card - a cheese and ham toastie with a cup of tea. The ham had to be taken out of the toastie and put in a separate bag, and the toastie had to be cut into quarters and delivered to their table (we don't do that).

The second part was paid by cash and was a Tandoori Chicken Baguette cut in half, delivered in two separate bags and a long black with milk and water on the side - again, we don't do that.

Greggs is a tiresome job and customers like that only make it worse.

BothersomeBritish

"We had this chicken ragout thing..."

We had this chicken ragout thing that was pretty good and spicy; well one day an older woman comes in and order it without the corn, tomato, onion, garlic, any other vegetables, no sauce, and chicken on the side with butter.

She got buttery rice and chicken. Like $13 bucks despite the fact I told her she could order a side of both of the same portion for like 8 bucks total. But by god she was dead set on that "ragout"

Domm1215

"Not a waiter but a cook..."

Not a waiter but a cook, just had this one a couple nights ago in the middle of the biggest rush of 2019 thus far. Guy comes in and orders 2 chicken breasts boiled from raw (we sell our chicken grilled or fried), six scrambled eggs but not made with our pre scrambled egg mix, but freshly hand scrambled eggs BUT of the 6 eggs he wanted all 6 whites but only two yolks, and three pancakes made with 33% buttermilk batter and 66% multigrain batter.... manager wouldnt let us refuse the check and then complained that it took more than our required 10 minute cook time to boil the chicken

floydfan831

"Twelve German guys..."

Twelve German guys spread out between 3 tables. Perfectly pleasant, though language a bit of a barrier. They all ordered gammon-and-chips, cod-and-chips, burger-and-chips, etc. And a low-alcohol lager each. (It was a roadside restaurant.) So far so good. Then for the next hour or so, they would call me over and order another lager here, another there, a third for this chap. Like, I think it had something like 0.4% alcohol, and they were trying to make it up to the level of a normal pint.

Then having eaten their meals they wanted the same again. Only this time one guy wanted the cod, and the other wanted the chips on a separate plate. Ditto the gammon. Then deserts. And about half of them had a second desert.

Then they wanted to pay separately. Not split the bill 12 ways. They wanted to pay for exactly what each of them had had.

I left the manager with them at the till. Luckily, she spoke German.

usefulbluecustard

"We have this lady come in..."

Giphy

We have this lady come in EVERY Tuesday and she sits at the bar. Wait, not sit. She stands the entire time. She wants an almost raw salmon slathered in this Cherry Chipotle glaze that we have with extra every thing that the bowl comes with (quinoa, mushrooms, seasoned tomatoes, among other veggies), an extra bowl of the glaze that has to be heated up, and sriracha. We don't offer sriracha as a condiment but we keep large bottles of it on the prep line to use as a mix for sauces. The bartenders just started keeping the sriracha behind the bar just for her lol. I dubbed her "Salmon Lady."

st_bart

"Two women come in..."

Two women come in and both order mint mochas. I make them in the standard paper coffee cups with plastic lids. The woman then tell me they want them in mugs instead. The drinks have whipped cream and chocolate on top so I couldn't just pour them into the cups without ruining them, so I remake the drinks and bring them out. One woman is happy, while the other is not. She says it isn't minty enough. I take it back and put more mint in it. She's still not satisfied. I add more mint. Now it's too minty. I remake it for the third time and add the standard amount of mint. She's happy, despite the fact that she had wanted more mint originally?? The good thing was she was very kind and apologetic about it all, and tipped me well.

foppishyyy

"Ok, sure."

In High School, I waited tables at a local place. It was your typical small town restaurant, with burgers and steaks and pork chops kind of place. Anyway- this dude came in and ordered a burger, with lettuce, tomato, raw onion, and extra pickles. Cool so far. Now- hold the burger. Just the bun and toppings, please.

Ok, sure.

And some fries, but please chill them a little before serving. Not cold, but please get them just slightly warmer than room temperature.

Uh...alright, I guess.

And a steak. NY strip, cooked medium well, with no salt or butter. Put the steak on its own plate, please.


Sure thing, but I think they'll charge you for the burger and the steak. Cool? Cool.

So I put in the order, taking time to pass along the specifics to the cook. She looked at me like I was bullshitting her, but did it.

And sure enough, when the order came up, the dude put the steak on the bun. Complete with lettuce, tomato, extra pickles, AND room temperature fries. He put the chilled fries on the goddamned sandwich he made.

He ate every last bite, washed down with an iced beer. Not beer in a chilled cup, but bud light poured over ice.

He was a great tipper, but it was bizarre. He became a semi-regular after that, always with the same order.

Nwcray

"My time to shine."

My time to shine. I worked at a country club as a bartender, and had been there for years, so they would have me go "on the floor" to train new staff. I was training this girl that was all of eighteen, bright eyed and bushy tailed, her first serving job. She was shadowing me when a group of middle aged women that were known to be persnickety sat down. I walk over to them, greet Mrs. Murphy and company by name and warmly attempt to take a drink order. Per protocol I go clockwise around the table taking their "unsweetened ice teas, TWO lemons" and "diet cola, make SURE it's diet I'm fasting", all the while the last of their party keeps talking over them saying "bird on a plate, bird on a plate, bird on a plate". I genuinely was trying to show my trainee how we were strictly instructed to introduce service, and this woman was repeating her deluded mantra over all of her friends drink requests. When I arrive at her she just says "I want a BIRD. On a PLATE. BIRD ON A PLATE" - like I'm the dumbass. When I inform her we have turkey, duck, chicken, and other poultry that day she screamed "BIRD. ON A PLATE". I smiled, turned on my heel, and rang in a chicken sandwich, no bread, lettuce or tomato, and no side. I promptly called over my manager and gave my two weeks. F*ck you, Mrs. Ward.

nakedeatingbananas

"I had an old dude..."

I had an old dude that would come in about once a week who would order the following:

4 double cheeseburgers with extra toppings
3 4-egg omelets with 6 pieces of sausage each inside
4 grilled chicken breasts 'for his bird dogs' (they were poodles)
4 orders of fries
A bowl of chili with extra onions
20-30 pieces of bacon just in a container

We think he and his wife eat all this crap throughout the week so they didn't have to cook. He said he'd had 4 heart attacks and didn't give a shit anymore. They were both relatively thin somehow. Must store all that fat in their arteries.

deathro_tull

"It was more an order that took a while..."

It was more an order that took a while to understand, and ended up making my self since it didn't take that long and to make sure it was made correctly.

So we had this salad called a Cobb Salad that had cooked chicken, bacon, and ham on it. It also had cheeses, chopped boiled eggs and green onions.
The customer wanted the meats on the side, but wanted the meat fats to be on the salad. The way she tried to explain it was hard to understand, but what I was able to come up with was to toss the lettuce with the meat and then pick the meat out and chop it on the side. Then put the rest of the stuff on top of the tossed salad.

She was satisfied with the food, got an ok tip from that table.

haby112

"There's a lady..."

There's a lady that always comes into the Japanese restaurant I work at and orders a chicken bento box, no chicken, only carrots and onions for the vegetables, carrots steamed, onions grilled, spicy steamed rice instead of fried rice, dumplings replaced with soup, California roll replaced with a salad with two small cups of dressing on the side and a bowl of lemons with her water no ice.

Also this man that orders a steak and chicken lunch, but instead of chicken he wants extra steak. All the servers have tried to explain that we have just a steak lunch.

moonmonkey1022

"When I was a waitress..."

When I was a waitress at Olive Garden, a family of four gave me the menus and said, "surprise me" and literally wouldn't tell me what they wanted. They wanted me to choose for them.

I gave them the four most expensive entrees on the menu.

anxiousbanana_

"And she was a slow talker..."

When I worked in Sainsbury's cafe (I know, hardly the most complicated place) we had a lady who came in regularly for breakfast with her 3 grandkids who'd simply list the items she wanted on each plate and, whenever she was told that we couldn't do that and she'd have to choose from the set breakfasts, she'd simply repeat the entire list louder. And she was a slow talker so it'd take her probably 90 seconds to read the whole list. Eventually we caved and just ended up doing it because it didn't look too great having someone stood at the till almost shouting "two sausages, two bits of bacon..." etc over and over again, but she stopped coming in after the main shop barred her daughter for shoplifting. That was the greatest news I ever got while I worked there.

The other annoying thing about her was somehow I was the only one working there (out of 20+ people) who was able to make her lattes the way she liked (steamed to nearly 200C because she was a fucking heathen) so whenever she came in she was insistent that I serve her, so I couldn't even avoid her by being in the kitchen.

godoflemmings

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.