Waiters And Waitresses Share The Weirdest Things Kids Have Ever Drawn At Their Tables[rebelmouse-image 18361861 is_animated_gif=
One sees a lot of odd things daily as a waiter. The wonders never cease to amaze. Children can be a handful in a public eatery so giving them things to occupy themselves during mealtime is a saving grace. Many restaurants give them crayons to draw. That seems like a simple, non-lethal idea. Right? Maybe not.
_Redditor __LoneWolf1319wondered Waiters and waitresses of restaurants that offer crayons to children, what's the weirdest thing you've seen a child draw? And it goes to show you that art is subjective. Some of these are a hoot.
TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL.
I work as a waiter in Harvester. An 8-10 year old boy simply wrote 'mum is a**hole on one of our drawing pads.
HEY! THAT WAS ART FOOL![rebelmouse-image 18361862 is_animated_gif=
I once drew a very detailed _(crayon standards) _diagram of a sea cucumber when I was a wee lad and I watched the busboy just crumple my masterpiece up with all the other garbage and toss it away.
THERE REALLY IS NO AGE LIMIT FOR CRAYONS.[rebelmouse-image 18361863 is_animated_gif=
When I was in college, my much older sister invited me to dinner at this Italian restaurant with her husband and friends.
I knew no one. I was a nerdy college student, and my sister worked as a dentist and my brother-in-law was a banker. I had no conversation connections to them or their friends.
After sitting awkwardly quiet for several minutes, I noticed crayons on the table. I picked them up and colored a random rainbow design on the butcher paper tablecloth. None of the other dinner guests acknowledged my drawing. I just doodled and doodled as they discussed the adult world.
Soon later, the waiter came over to refresh our drinks. He noticed my rainbow doodle and immediately started to fawn over my design: "This a fabulous piece of art! We are going to display this masterpiece on the BIG fridge in our kitchen!"
The waiter then takes the butcher paper and tears it into two sections. He takes my weird little drawing back to the kitchen.
I was so embarrassed.
OH THE DRAMA![rebelmouse-image 18361864 is_animated_gif=
My niece was always quite the drama queen. About 9 years ago we were eating at a restaurant and I saw her drawing a lovely landscape. It was adorable watching her draw a sun wearing sunglasses, grass, flowers... and a tombstone. Concerned I asked what she was drawing. She said "It is me. We waited so long here I died." She is an even more dramatic teenager now. Help me.
UMM... I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU ON DATELINE.[rebelmouse-image 18345572 is_animated_gif=
I once saw a kid draw a picture of their dad dead with a knife in his chest and them and their mom standing by the body smiling. It made me concerned about their home life.
OH THE THINGS YOU'LL LEARN BOYS AND GIRLS.[rebelmouse-image 18980243 is_animated_gif=
They drew an animal with two heads directly on the table. I asked them what it was supposed to be and apparently it was their pet dog. Parents offered no explanation on why their pet had two heads (or why they let their kid draw on the table) so I showed the kid how he could use a wet wipe as an "eraser".
BAD KIDS. KARMA IS COMING FOR YOU.[rebelmouse-image 18979724 is_animated_gif=
There used to be a restaurant in the town I went to college called Garfield's. It had paper strewn across all the tables and crayons so the wait staff could write their names down for the customers and the customers could write what ever they wanted. I was in there one afternoon with my girlfriend when the mother and daughter in the booth behind us decided to leave without paying for their meal. The waitress was at first pissed but then began laughing when she realized that they had written down their real names repeatedly in crayon all over the table. They were caught by the police less than an hour later, according to the police report.
GET THEE BACK SATAN![rebelmouse-image 18980244 is_animated_gif=
The kids played one game of hangman. The stick figure was fully hanged, and the word they used was my first name. The face on the hanged man had eyes and a straight line for a mouth. It was kinda creepy.
USE YOR PURPLE FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE.[rebelmouse-image 18980245 is_animated_gif=
She didn't leave a drawing, but I had an 8 year old take the entire order for "the kids table" in purple crayon for about 7 kids and herself. She told me she had aspirations to also be a waitress.
Unfortunately, I trusted her order and she got it slightly wrong. Hopefully she has contemplated other career options. Her drawing is still on my fridge though!
RED IS TASTY.[rebelmouse-image 18980246 is_animated_gif=
Not something a kid drew, but a funny story. I went to greet my table once and the parents asked me to take the red crayon. Only the red, because their daughter will eat red crayons, not any other colors, just red.
TUBBY OR WILLY?[rebelmouse-image 18980247 is_animated_gif=
Some little kid wrote "#FreeTubbySmith"
I'LL JUST TAKE A GIFTCARD PLEASE.[rebelmouse-image 18353182 is_animated_gif=
A family brought some extremely loud toys with them to a nice restaurant (macaroni grill/cheesecake factory style). Patrons around them complained, because they had 3 kids who each had 1 or 2 extremely loud toys (car with a police siren, kids megaphone/microphone, kids boombox with animal sounds, etc etc). My manager came over and offered to relocate them, they refused. He gave them a free appetizer but said they would have to put the toys away. Kids proceeded to draw at least 5 pictures of my manager getting mauled by; jungle cats, tanks, game of hangman, death incarnate and some other random stuff. When they left, they left the pictures on the table. My manager proceeded to show every employee in the restaurant all the while laughing himself to death. We got them framed for him for Christmas.
THEN GIVE ME A RAISE![rebelmouse-image 18978366 is_animated_gif=
Child about 7 wrote "I own this restaurant now."
CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY WHEN ADVERTISING![rebelmouse-image 18980248 is_animated_gif=
There is a fish and chips shop near where I live called Dicks Fish & Chips and it encourages kids to draw on the placemats. The best ones are then displayed on the walls. A couple of my favorites are the ones which express their love for the restaurant:
"I love Dicks!" And "Nothing like a feed of Dicks".
The owners are really old and don't get the reference which makes it all the more hilarious.
BACON IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.[rebelmouse-image 18980249 is_animated_gif=
Years ago, small town, a Doctor and his wife with their three very well behaved boys came in for dinner. I used to love this family, always polite, ordered well.
The second or third time taking care of them, I'm taking their orders when their youngest, no older than 8, hand me a piece of paper from his blue's clues notebook.
Scralwed in very legible writing, in red crayon: MAY I HAVE A PLATE OF BACON PLEASE ????
Yes, he even drew a strip of bacon.
WHEN YOU GOTTA GO YOU GOTTA GO![rebelmouse-image 18977796 is_animated_gif=
The word "POOP" over and over!
HONEST ABE MAYBE MORE A PINK FELLOW.[rebelmouse-image 18980252 is_animated_gif=
I'm not a waiter but my daughter at 5 colored a picture of Abraham Lincoln (her school's name) She gave the president red lips. My husband calls it babraham Lincoln and it's still on our refrigerator, she's 7 now.
IS THIS AN INVITATION?[rebelmouse-image 18980253 is_animated_gif=
Their family naked in the swimming pool.
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.