Unless you've served, you'll never know exactly what it means to be in the military.
Sure, friends and family can come home, do their best to explain to you what it was like, show you pictures, and maybe go explain what the food is like, but it is an entire experience.
Something that, unless you lived it, will never fully comprehend.
Always worth trying, though.
Reddit user Ancient_Session wanted to hear the first-hand experiences when they asked:
"War Veterans of Reddit;what's one thing war movies get wrong?"
They're Not Out To Rule The World
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Military leaders (at least in most developed countries) are generally not warmongers. It seems that's their only purpose in Hollywood, though.
They're the ones who know the horrors of war the most. They've been there, they've seen it, and they're responsible for a lot of those lives - people they know personally...people they identify with. General officers have spent the better part of 30 or 40 years working their way up the ranks. They know how horrible war is.
A typical general is a lot less likely than a non-military policymaker to advocate for starting a war.
The Environment Is Not What You Picture
I was in the mountains in Afghanistan and most movies about the wars in the middle east are about how hot it is. I was goddamn cold with more snow than i've ever seen.
Peppered In Some Realistic "Language" To Spice It Up
The dialogue.
For example, a movie scene that shows some military guys hanging out and are deploying soon. Maybe there is a cookout and one guy is all like, "hey sarge, what's the sitrep on those burgers?" And he says something like, "eta in five mikes." People in the military don't talk like they would over the radio calling in air support 24-7.
Seriously. Can We Get Past This.
The Middle East has roads.
No effin' way! I thought its juat dust paths with a donkey at every few miles with direction painted on their side!!
Keep It On The Green
[The Hurt Locker] is the most full of sh-t movie in the world! If you go out of the fob to play soccer with kids you're going to get killed or kidnapped and get your head sawed off
But It Sounds So Cool In The Movies...
Doing areas i.e picking up cigarette butts whilst being shouted at by a bored full screw. Amount of films where squaddies don't even use their chin strap is a bone of contention for many.
Calling sergeants 'sarge' is a sure way of getting your arse kicked.
"The only sarge is me masarging my sausarge up your f-cking pasarge you utter c-nt!"
Why Waste So Much Fuel?
Fighter jets are not always on afterburner....they would have to hit a tanker so many times due to the amount of fuel they are burning.
My favorite is the random two ship flying over an airbase during a time of war.
The whole Maverick "hitting the brakes, he'll fly right by"....not a thing.
The end scene of the movie "Pacific Rim"...all the choppers flying in formation ....why?
Wait a minute... you're telling me that "Pacific Rim" is unrealistic?
"But How Am I Supposed To Be Reckless, Loose Cannon Who Always Gets The Job Done?"
The countless hours of "safety" briefings and being told not to do dumb sh-t.
And, of course, someone goes and does it anyways.
I experienced this for the first time about ten days into basic and it blew my mind. Now I'm nine years in and I don't think anything could surprise me anymore.
The DS told the entire company to put on their "god d-mned motherf-cking green t-shirt on fire guard. Don't let me catch you wearing that f-cking gray PT shirt I swear to god." Guess what happened that same night...
We give these people grenades and firearms.......
When You Need To Put Something On Those Rations
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Texas Pete is EVERYWHERE
I used to carry around a 40oz bottle of Texas Pete around Iraq in '03.
Lasted a whole 3 months.
Sometimes, The Movies Aren't Right At All.
In most movies with missiles, they just pick a random one that looks good. It doesn't have to make sense in time or application. You can have a movie about the 60s show a ship to ship missile made in '92 blow up a building in Cuba.
It would be like putting a 2020 dodge charger in a western but it could only drive on the water.
There's Supposed To Be An Earth-Shattering Kaboom.
F-cking explosions.
Those fuel explosions in the movies don't happen. It's always just some dust, shrapnel, and very rarely a fireball.
No Movie Could Ever Capture This Spirit
No movie can capture the feeling of actually having to say things like,
"Sir, the machine gun feed tray cover is not a place to put your sandwich."
"Private, where is your helmet? And your pants?"
"Sergeant, that rifle only works if you have a magazine in it, and for f-cks sake there has to be bullets in your goddamn mag!"
All things I have said seriously in my 21 years, also,
"I'm not sure what that is man, it could be syphilis, go see the doc!"
Feels Like This One Should Be More Obvious
How nice the average Afghanistan civilian is.
Some of the most hospitable, kind, and generous people I've ever met.
WAIT, WHAT?!?
People can hear each other and have an almost-normal level conversation about tactics and enemy locations during a firefight in movies.
"WHAT?!"
I said: "PEOPLE CAN HEAR EACH OTHER AND HAVE AN--
"THE F-CKIN' FIFTY IS FIRING RIGHT OVER OUR HEADS!! LOUDER!!! WHAAAT?!!"
I SAID-- You know what, this is one reason we developed hand signals and radio sets, sometimes, that have noise dampening.
Just A Lot Of Overcompensating Dudes
The military is about 60% homoerotic humor.
When was the last time a war movie showed a bored enlisted dude run up behind someone and pelvic thrust a traffic cone into them?
When The Music Is Gone And Back Again
The one dude that can play guitar and sing like Eric Clapton, any song you want and you sit there for hours listening, remembering good times with friends, family, spouse. Then you cry a little because your home sick after 8 months of looking at sand and smelling sh-t and all you want is to get laid and mother f-cking cheese burger.
Movies never get that right or don't show that at all.
And then, 3/4 of the way into your deployment that guy gets killed, and you're left with emptiness.
This was oddly specific
The Lack Of Anything Happening
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My veteran friends say it's f-cking boring most of the time.
Generation Kill does a decent job with them just driving the first few episodes and barely any action.
I've deployed to Kuwait but I'm not in a combat role and there was absolutely zero fighting going on anywhere near me. I still identify with like 80% of that series. Can confirm, pretty damn realistic.
The amount of boring, and the amount of bullsh-t. I've had superior officers ask for the weirdest sh-t, and you're expected to just do it. Dig a hole here, move the hole over there, they don't care at all about how much time you have to put into it. That and the paperwork, some one always has to have a form filled out for something. Signing in, signing out, it's soul crushing after a while. It's almost second nature to ask for a form whenever you need something or need to tell some one something after a while.
Glad that I'm done.
It's Not Always What You Don't See...
Not that they get it wrong, but it's something very important that's missing: smell.
The smells in there are rather strong and stick to the memory more than anything else. Burnt gunpowder, mixed with whatever the area smells like, only it seems to be amplified. If you ever see an exploding vehicle in a movie, try to imagine the smell of burnt gas with it.
I was first recon on a crash site in a forest. The whole area smelt of kerosene and freshly cut trees. The bodies didn't smell though.
Apparently a group of D-Day Veterans were taken to an early showing of "Saving Private Ryan". The only comment was, "They got everything but the smell."
I won't ever forget the smell of Ground Zero. Crushed, damp drywall, kerosene, and rotting meat. It was a heavy, greasy stink, and for the next 2 months every time I sneezed hard, I smelled it.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.