Unless you've served, you'll never know exactly what it means to be in the military. Sure, friends and family can come home, do their best to explain to you what it was like, show you pictures, and maybe go explain what the food is like, but it is an entire experience. Something that, unless you lived it, will never fully comprehend.
Always worth trying, though.
Reddit user, u/Ancient_Session, wanted to hear the first-hand experiences when they asked:
War Veterans of Reddit;what's one thing war movies get wrong?
They're Not Out To Rule The World
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Military leaders (at least in most developed countries) are generally not warmongers. It seems that's their only purpose in Hollywood, though.
They're the ones who know the horrors of war the most. They've been there, they've seen it, and they're responsible for a lot of those lives - people they know personally...people they identify with. General officers have spent the better part of 30 or 40 years working their way up the ranks. They know how horrible war is.
A typical general is a lot less likely than a non-military policymaker to advocate for starting a war.
The Environment Is Not What You Picture
I was in the mountains in Afghanistan and most movies about the wars in the middle east are about how hot it is. I was goddamn cold with more snow than i've ever seen.
Peppered In Some Realistic "Language" To Spice It Up
The dialogue.
For example, a movie scene that shows some military guys hanging out and are deploying soon. Maybe there is a cookout and one guy is all like, "hey sarge, what's the sitrep on those burgers?" And he says something like, "eta in five mikes." People in the military don't talk like they would over the radio calling in air support 24-7.
Seriously. Can We Get Past This.
The Middle East has roads.
No effin' way! I thought its juat dust paths with a donkey at every few miles with direction painted on their side!!
Keep It On The Green
[The Hurt Locker] is the most full of sh-t movie in the world! If you go out of the fob to play soccer with kids you're going to get killed or kidnapped and get your head sawed off
But It Sounds So Cool In The Movies...
Doing areas i.e picking up cigarette butts whilst being shouted at by a bored full screw. Amount of films where squaddies don't even use their chin strap is a bone of contention for many.
Calling sergeants 'sarge' is a sure way of getting your arse kicked.
"The only sarge is me masarging my sausarge up your f-cking pasarge you utter c-nt!"
Why Waste So Much Fuel?
Fighter jets are not always on afterburner....they would have to hit a tanker so many times due to the amount of fuel they are burning.
My favorite is the random two ship flying over an airbase during a time of war.
The whole Maverick "hitting the brakes, he'll fly right by"....not a thing.
The end scene of the movie "Pacific Rim"...all the choppers flying in formation ....why?
Wait a minute... you're telling me that "Pacific Rim" is unrealistic?
"But How Am I Supposed To Be Reckless, Loose Cannon Who Always Gets The Job Done?"
The countless hours of "safety" briefings and being told not to do dumb sh-t.
And, of course, someone goes and does it anyways.
I experienced this for the first time about ten days into basic and it blew my mind. Now I'm nine years in and I don't think anything could surprise me anymore.
The DS told the entire company to put on their "god d-mned motherf-cking green t-shirt on fire guard. Don't let me catch you wearing that f-cking gray PT shirt I swear to god." Guess what happened that same night...
We give these people grenades and firearms.......
When You Need To Put Something On Those Rations
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Texas Pete is EVERYWHERE
I used to carry around a 40oz bottle of Texas Pete around Iraq in '03.
Lasted a whole 3 months.
Sometimes, The Movies Aren't Right At All.
In most movies with missiles, they just pick a random one that looks good. It doesn't have to make sense in time or application. You can have a movie about the 60s show a ship to ship missile made in '92 blow up a building in Cuba.
It would be like putting a 2020 dodge charger in a western but it could only drive on the water.
There's Supposed To Be An Earth-Shattering Kaboom.
F-cking explosions.
Those fuel explosions in the movies don't happen. It's always just some dust, shrapnel, and very rarely a fireball.
No Movie Could Ever Capture This Spirit
No movie can capture the feeling of actually having to say things like,
"Sir, the machine gun feed tray cover is not a place to put your sandwich."
"Private, where is your helmet? And your pants?"
"Sergeant, that rifle only works if you have a magazine in it, and for f-cks sake there has to be bullets in your goddamn mag!"
All things I have said seriously in my 21 years, also,
"I'm not sure what that is man, it could be syphilis, go see the doc!"
Feels Like This One Should Be More Obvious
How nice the average Afghanistan civilian is.
Some of the most hospitable, kind, and generous people I've ever met.
WAIT, WHAT?!?
People can hear each other and have an almost-normal level conversation about tactics and enemy locations during a firefight in movies.
"WHAT?!"
I said: "PEOPLE CAN HEAR EACH OTHER AND HAVE AN--
"THE F-CKIN' FIFTY IS FIRING RIGHT OVER OUR HEADS!! LOUDER!!! WHAAAT?!!"
I SAID-- You know what, this is one reason we developed hand signals and radio sets, sometimes, that have noise dampening.
Just A Lot Of Overcompensating Dudes
The military is about 60% homoerotic humor.
When was the last time a war movie showed a bored enlisted dude run up behind someone and pelvic thrust a traffic cone into them?
When The Music Is Gone And Back Again
The one dude that can play guitar and sing like Eric Clapton, any song you want and you sit there for hours listening, remembering good times with friends, family, spouse. Then you cry a little because your home sick after 8 months of looking at sand and smelling sh-t and all you want is to get laid and mother f-cking cheese burger.
Movies never get that right or don't show that at all.
And then, 3/4 of the way into your deployment that guy gets killed, and you're left with emptiness.
This was oddly specific
The Lack Of Anything Happening
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My veteran friends say it's f-cking boring most of the time.
Generation Kill does a decent job with them just driving the first few episodes and barely any action.
I've deployed to Kuwait but I'm not in a combat role and there was absolutely zero fighting going on anywhere near me. I still identify with like 80% of that series. Can confirm, pretty damn realistic.
The amount of boring, and the amount of bullsh-t. I've had superior officers ask for the weirdest sh-t, and you're expected to just do it. Dig a hole here, move the hole over there, they don't care at all about how much time you have to put into it. That and the paperwork, some one always has to have a form filled out for something. Signing in, signing out, it's soul crushing after a while. It's almost second nature to ask for a form whenever you need something or need to tell some one something after a while.
Glad that I'm done.
It's Not Always What You Don't See...
Not that they get it wrong, but it's something very important that's missing: smell.
The smells in there are rather strong and stick to the memory more than anything else. Burnt gunpowder, mixed with whatever the area smells like, only it seems to be amplified. If you ever see an exploding vehicle in a movie, try to imagine the smell of burnt gas with it.
I was first recon on a crash site in a forest. The whole area smelt of kerosene and freshly cut trees. The bodies didn't smell though.
Apparently a group of D-Day Veterans were taken to an early showing of "Saving Private Ryan". The only comment was, "They got everything but the smell."
I won't ever forget the smell of Ground Zero. Crushed, damp drywall, kerosene, and rotting meat. It was a heavy, greasy stink, and for the next 2 months every time I sneezed hard, I smelled it.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
My list is too long to even try to narrow down. I'm just going to say that most of our political officials, on all sides, need a muzzle, a sedative, and a new career path. Start there...
Divorce Time
Real Housewives Goodbye GIFGiphy"Oh man I often think about the guy asking if he's an ahole for asking his pregnant wife to wear a diaper at night because she was disturbing his sleep whenever she got up to pee." ~ Morrigans
Psycho!
"I remember a girl in her late teens who thought her older sibling was faking their child's food allergy so she tried to catch her by not telling them about the ingredients before serving them a dish. Someone else had it first and recognized the ingredient and stopped the kid from eating it in time and called her out. She then tried to play it off saying her sibling was a drama queen and she was trying to trap her. Reddit tore into her, of course, since the child could've... well, died." ~ SylancerPrime
Glassware
"The guy who moved into his younger girlfriend's apartment, and threw away her fancy drinking jars that she loved from their shelf because they bothered him and he wanted her to just drink from normal cups. I think about this entitled jerk a lot. ~ SelfDiagnosedUnicorn
"get over it"
"Girlfriend of a widowed father of two, she moved in to his place. He was still struggling with letting go of his late wife. So the gf in her eternal wisdom decided to throw away all family pictures of his late wife one day when the dad was away because she felt it was time for him to "get over it". He did not get those pictures back, they were legit gone forever. When she posted this on AITA but didn't get the validation she wanted she just doubled-down instead." ~ YoungDiscord
Thief!
Angry Season 9 GIF by ShamelessGiphy"The girl who found a lost dog after someones house was destroyed then refused to give it back because they had "bonded." ~ dawsonsmythe
I dare you to try and keep any of my animals. What kind of lunatic does that?
"emotional support"
Steve Harvey Reaction GIF by Super DeluxeGiphy"The guy who was mad his GWB wouldn't give 10k usd because he provided her with "emotional support" by listening to her rant about her ex a couple of times." ~ Hopelessyhopeful
Vile
"The OP deleted it so I can't link. OP was the wife of a man whose first wife died. OP was jealous of wife #1 and destroyed all the photos and knick knacks from the first wife, including deleting all the digital photos. She burned everything physical. Her husband packed up his teenage daughter and left her. It was 3 or so years ago and I still feel rage thinking about that vile OP. I hope her husband divorced her. It's the least she deserved." ~ fluidentity
Cinderella
"OP wasn't the a**hole in this one, but her son was. Basically she found out that her son was using her daughter-in-law as a stay at home maid. They had two kids, I wanna say, and DIL did EVERYTHING - cooking, cleaning, childcare, EVERYTHING. OP gave DIL some money for a girls' weekend and her son forced her to cancel it because he wanted to go out with his friends that weekend, leaving her to watch the children."
"DIL called OP in tears and OP loses it - tells her to drop the kids at her house and go take her weekend. OP takes the kids to her sister's (with DIL's permission) and goes to the bar where her son is and tears him a new one to the point she gets kicked out of the bar. First thing she does after that is call her other two DILs up to make sure her other son's aren't pieces of crap." ~ SpidersMcGee
Awful Dad
"'ll never forget the one guy. He'd just turned 18 and was getting ready for college when his dad walked in, said "your mom cheated on me. I'm not your real dad. I'm not paying for your college. Move out after you graduate high school."
"The dad had known for the son's entire life but didn't say anything until that moment because he thought it was the mom's job to do it. And the kid assumed his family would pay for his college like they did with the others so he didn't save any money or look for scholarships." ~ justking1414
Call John
John Cena Mind Blown GIFGiphy"The kid that ruined his little brother's signed John Cena poster. The little brother had gotten it signed when he met John Cena during a Make-A-Wish event that was held for him." ~ nsa_k
That little kid is a psycho in training. Those parents need to sleep with BOTH eyes open. I hope John Cena sent another poster.
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Most of my minor, well major miracles when you think about it, have been in cars. I've lost track of the amount of vehicle disasters I've averted, by the skin of my teeth.
Out Damn Spot!
GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphy"My wife dragged my butt to the dermatologist for a cyst I have had for years. While there, the doc noticed a mole on my ankle that he didn't like. Turned out to be melanoma. Would have never gone if my wife didn't force me." ~ TheDistric
Say "AHHHH!"
"24 years old, had a pesky sore on my tongue that was really bothering me. My boyfriend's dad was a dentist so when I was over at his house one night I asked him to take a look. He recommended I go see an oral surgeon the next day for him to check it out."
"The next day I decided it was feeling better so I tried to cancel my appt but my boyfriend's dad insisted I go. I went, and the oral surgeon pretty much diagnosed it as cancer on the spot. It was aggressive and by the time of my surgery to remove it it had already spread to multiple lymph nodes."
"They ended up removing over half my tongue followed by chemo and radiation. Given how aggressive it was, I often think that if I had put off the doctors visit any longer I probably wouldn't have survived. I'm coming up on my 10 year anniversary in January." ~ bobear2017
Flip Out!
"When driving in the upper peninsula in Michigan last summer a truck full of logs flipped and barrelled straight into my car. Completely demolished the car, someone else had to come open the door for me after the fact because they were all pinned shut by logs. I walked out of there without a scratch on my body." ~ Tman2588
Pit Stop
"On a road trip in college with 4 friends. We stopped halfway for a pit stop because I had explosive diarrhea and was getting more sick by the minute. Friends carried on to Vegas and left me with one of the guys who rented us a car to return home. The friends that carried on got into a roll over: 1 died, 2 will be injured for life." ~ 4fingertakedown
Stay Single
Samuel L Jackson Reaction GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy"I was engaged to someone, but then came to my senses and broke it off. Nine months later I found out she got married to someone else, then about 1 year after that she killed her husband." ~ Green-Boysenberry396
Life is a minefield when you think about it. Sometimes the heartbreak of love is worth it in hindsight. You look back and realize you loved a psycho and just say... "thanks for looking out God."
Leaks
relief GIFGiphy"The second floor of the house I was renting collapsed a month after I moved out. ETA: apparently a water pipe sprung a leak shortly after we left. We weren't in any trouble." ~ RenaKunisaki
On Impact
"I was driving home from visiting my brother in Vermont when a snow storm started. I didn't have much experience driving in serious snow and I completely lost control. Car careened off the road and I was heading for a giant boulder at around 50 or 60 mph. I felt time slow down and I reflected on my life for a moment and then said goodbye to my body. Suddenly, I was jolted out of it by an abrupt impact, but I could see that the boulder was still 20 or 30 feet away."
"When I got out of the car, I saw that I had hit a little skinny tree that I could have easily grabbed with one hand. However, it had a giant root system that lifted the car off the ground and stopped me. Car was totaled, but I was completely fine because of that little tree. There is no way I would have survived the other impact." ~ senatorbolton
Winter Days
"Walking to work in the winter. Half way through a step forward under a skybridge when an icicle taller than me (6') and probably 2' around at the base crashes down right in front of my nose. If my bus had been a half second earlier, if I had walked even a tiny bit faster pace."
"I would have been impaled from brains to testicles. I was frozen in place for a minute, quietly surveying my near-death. There was another pedestrian nearby who witnessed it and the wide-eyed, ashen look on his face as he stared at me confirmed just how narrowly fortunate I was that day." ~ MoridinXP
where I had just been...
"This happened before cellphones existed. I had a long commute home and on a rare occasion my husband drove into the city to meet me. I started for home about fifteen minutes before he did. On the stretch of Highway 101 that I needed to be on for about twenty miles, there was a big rig in front of me that seemed to be driving erratically."
"I got this weird feeling and just moved over to the next lane and accelerated past him. In my rear view mirror, I saw the big rig run over the car in front of him, flip to its side crushing the cars in the next lane (where I had just been). My husband was behind the accident and as the police were letting cars file past in single file."
"He saw one of the crushed cars had a red bumper. He got home a couple of hours after me and said he'd never been so happy to see my red car in the driveway. That he'd been holding his breath as he turned down our street because he really expected me to be under the big rig." ~ susgrigs
The Rising
Water Douse GIFGiphy"My wife and I were prepared to buy a nice riverfront property in 2019, but the owners ( her dad and uncle) were dragging their feet. We had our down payment, we were approved for the mortgage, and we had even been living there paying rent."
"Then the river rose 30ft/10m and we had to evacuate. The water kept rising. The house was destroyed before we bought it. So we didn't buy it." ~ Idiot_Savant_Tinker
And these are just the disasters we know about. The truth is, we probably survive near-death experiences with every breath we take. God speed everyone.
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Reddit user UWigsOfficial asked:
"What historical facts sound fake but aren't?"
Guess It Wasn't Meant To Happen
"The fact that two times the Mongols attempted to invade Japan and both times a storm sunk the invasion fleet."
"Same happened both times caesar went to Britain."
Even Kings Draw Phalluses, Apparently
"King Karl XIII of Sweden doodled penises all over his private diaries in 1785, when he was 37 years old."
"Clearly he was the inspiration for Superbad."
Christmas Spirit
"The Christmas Truce of WW1."
"It honestly sounds to good to be true, so I'm glad that it was real. It just goes to show you that deep down none of them were the 'bad guys' in the war, no matter what flag or country they fought for. They were all just soldier's that had to follow orders from their COs. It really sucks that it only lasted once & has become banned ever since."
Prime Ministers Don't Just Disappear, Do They?
"An Australian Prime Minister went missing while swimming at a beach."
"In his honour the US named a warship after him while in Australia his local electorate named a swim centre after him."
"There's a few Harold Holt memorial swimming pools around. I laugh every time I see one."
Operation Acoustic Kitty
Game Forum GIFGiphy"Operation Acoustic Kitty. A $20 million CIA project in the 1960s which implanted a microphone, radio transmitter, and wire into a cat, for the purpose of spying."
"The first mission involved releasing the cat near a Soviet compound in Washington to spy on two men. The cat was released and hit by a taxi almost immediately, and the project was discontinued."
"Sounds about right for a government project"
Wojtek
"There was a corporal in the Polish army during world war 2 who was a beer drinking, cigarette smoking bear."
"He didn't smoke he ate the damn lit cigarettes."
Who Needs An Enemy?
"Legend has it that the army of the Habsburg Empire lost about 10,000 people in the battle of Karánsebes in 1788 before the enemy (the Ottomans) even arrived. Basically they were drunk and thought the enemy had arrived and started fighting between themselves."
"The legend part is just the casualties. The event itself did actually happen, it's just debated whether it was anywhere close to 10,000 people lost or just a few hundreds killed and thousands injured."
But How Did They Open Them?
Hungry Lets Eat GIFGiphy"The can opener (1858) was patented 48 years after the tin can (1810)"
"Did they just squeeze em til the tops popped open before that?"
"Cans used to be thicker. They were opened using a chisel and hammer"
"Also cans were significantly less common than jarring"
"Australian troops during ww1 went into no-man's land and dug out/recovered an abandoned german tank that was stuck in mud, pretty much because they were bored and the tank was there."
"The A7V Mephisto. Went and visited it a few months ago."
"As of 2020 at least, President John Tyler's grandson was still alive. That's 10th President if the US, John Tyler, who was born in 1790."
"I haven't seen any stories about his grandson dying so I assume he's still alive. It would be an interesting enough story that it'd be one of the top stories for a day or two."
It's commonly said that studying history will sometimes make you upset or uncomfortable, but most folks probably don't expect it to make them incredulous. Sometimes, though, fact really is stranger than fiction.
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