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Food Industry Workers Share Their Valentine's Day Date Horror Stories

Food Industry Workers Share Their Valentine's Day Date Horror Stories
Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

If you've never worked in the food service industry, it can be hard to understand exactly how much of a nightmare some days can be. Mother's Day is bad, but Valentine's Day... that's like Black Friday and the DMV and getting your teeth pulled and stepping on a lego all at the same time without any good drugs.


The up side to that, though, is that if you're a people-watcher then this is more like the Superbowl.

Reddit user kingandy2007 asked:

Food industry staff of reddit. What are some horrors you saw yesterday on Valentines Day?


So... we need to amend our previous simile. This isn't like the Superbowl. You know how when people watch the Superbowl in every paper towel commercial they're all sitting on the edges of their seats? Then someone cheers and somehow manages to flip a tray of guacamole, chili and fruit punch onto a blindingly white carpet? (Like any rational human being would have a Superbowl party on white carpet.) And the fruit punch always spills in slow-mo and the juice just sort of flails about dramatically in the air before splatting onto the floor in a disastrous puddle?

This is that fruit punch.

That Escalated Quickly

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One of our favorite regular customers brought in her boyfriend for the first time and in her excitement she bumped into a table and knocked someone's cup off, which isn't bad but in her haste to pick up the cup she hit her head on the corner of the metal table and cut her forehead open. Blood everywhere. It looked like a mini crime scene.

She was totally fine! Just embarrassed. We cleaned her up and gave them a stack of free food cards because she's awesome and we love her.

- courtneymadison

Food Court

Food court at the mall, just a lot of dudes standing or sitting at a table for hours with flowers, gifts, etc. Some of their dates showed up, some left alone.

- ohfcksickles

A Loan?

Last year I worked at a high-end sweets shop. Everything is top-notch as advertised, it was what people were willing to DO for it that scared me.

Chocolate covered strawberries? $50 per box of 4. We couldn't keep them in stock, and more than a few sweaty husbands begged us to make more and throw them in any container we had. One guy walking in on Valentine's morning offered to pay us double, even without the fancy romantic packaging (we didn't take it).

We had also sold a big embroidered heart-shaped box for nearly $100. One guy asked us how much it cost, left, and came back later with his friend. He'd asked him for a loan. To buy V-Day chocolates.

Relationships are wild.

- AmericanJesus618

That Sudden Realization

Just a bystander here, but I walked into a grocery store yesterday evening, which was pretty packed with last minute frantic looking Valentine's Day shoppers. I walked in at the same time as another man with a confused look on his face and I hear him say out loud to himself "Man, the store is pretty packed for a Friday evening...".

Then, we both turn the corner and are met with all of the last minute flower arrangements and Valentine's cards lay out and I see the man completely freeze and again out loud, he says "oh.. no... no no no! Today is Valentine's Day?! I'm so f*cked!" as he quickly runs to the chocolate section, joining the rest of the panic stricken dudes with the same looks on their faces.

Hope those dudes are all still alive this morning.

- proper_panda748

Not A Steak Fan

Bartender here, Not my guest but a guest in the restaurant threw up on his steak not even a minute after it was placed in front of him. His date kept surprisingly calm for that scenario.

- keysonatable

Still Crying

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Not a staff, but a bystander. My wife and I went to Cheesecake Factory for lunch, in a bid to avoid the crowds. Next to us, a dude got down on one knee and proposed (yes, in a Cheesecake Factory). The waitress was filming it, people were watching, she saw the ring and started crying, he smiled, and all looked good...

... Except when my wife and I left 20 minutes later, she was still crying, covering her face, and he wasn't smiling anymore. I couldn't hear well enough to know what they were talking about, but they kept speaking in low voices. Didn't look good.

- BurrSugar

Verbal Abuse

I had a man verbally abusing his wife at my table, and I don't mean talking over her and being rude. I mean saying things like "what the fck do you think you're doing you f***ing b****" and "I'll give you $36,000 to get the f*** out of here right now you piece of s***"

I had 4 different tables complain about them and we eventually asked them to leave. I've never seen anything like it before. At one point the guy went to the restroom and I went up to the wife and asked if I could help in any way and if she was alright. She was very stoic during the entire thing and half the time wasn't even looking at him.

I was just shocked that they somehow managed to sit through an entire dinner (app, entree and dessert). I just can't even imagine being that miserable of a person that you can constantly berate someone not really fighting back and manage to sit through an entire meal with that person.

When we eventually asked him to leave he asked who complained. We obviously didn't give him specifics just said "a few different tables" his response to that was "well f*** them then."

I've never wanted to assault someone in my life more than that piece of s***.

- thejabel

Personal Horror

My own personal horror story:

GM at my restaurant told me I had quickly become his best server (Been here since December). Been raking it in (for this restaurant at least) and have regulars ask for me close to every shift. I was pumped for Valentine's.

But no, I fainted in the middle of dinner service and got sent home. So here I am today, feeling like s***, and with a fraction of what I planned to make, and ruined four tables' Valentine's dinners.

- IsThatWhatHeCallsIt

Sex Worker Shenanigans

When I was a server/bartender:

We had a frequent escort come to our restaurant. It was pretty obvious she was a escort as this restaurant was in a wealthy neighborhood and she would be with a different man every time. Once when I served her she said to me I'd make good money if I joined her company....

So on Valentine's Day, she came in... big, gold hoop earrings, boobs hanging out of a floral dress & fake designer bag... she sat down with an elderly man who I figured was married bc he was wearing a wedding band. Anyway, long story short she "helped" this guy off under the table. Manager kicked her out & she never came back.

- MPic99

Movie Style 

I bartend. I'm assuming this couple was on a date. They just ordered their food. In less than 10 minutes of their date, I saw the girl take a drink (and I mean a full 20 ounce beer) and throw it on the guy. It hit the people behind him, the walls, and it soaked the floor too. She immediately walked out almost in tears. The guy's face as he just sat there soaked in beer was indescribable. It was the most movie like break up I've ever seen happen in real life.

- ShadoeCrewArt

Coronavirus

I bartend in the lobby of a fancy hotel in Wisconsin. A woman put a cigarette in her mouth and asked what I would do if she lit it. I told her security would probably escort her out. She then proceeded to try and light it, calling me names, while her friends forced the lighter away from her.

Also, a couple Japanese dudes from San Fransisco were at the bar and this racist dude at the end of the bar kept demanding that I "check them for coronavirus" and he wouldn't shut up about how scared he was that they were there. I ended up cutting him off, asking him to leave. So many trash people last night.

- Dweezlepussian

Fake Reservations

My father manages a restaurant and he had a little argument with an IT guy a few weeks prior. The dude made a fake website for the restaurant and accepted over 200 reservations which led to the restaurant be very packed, lots of angry people and a few shattered glasses lol

- stockcomics

This Cruising Couple

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Work on a cruise, so I had a dinner last night and a lunch and dinner today.

Last night, there was this 1 lady who was obviously upset with her SO. I'm a photographer so they stepped to take a photo and he didn't want to but she had already paid for it so they had to. She was annoyed with him but she put on a smile.

Then when I went to show her the photo, she was so done with everything. She never got up to dance or anything. I wonder if he did something wrong or if she was sick but she didn't look like she was having fun.

- the-lovely-panda

A Protest

One of my tables, which seemed like a really sweet group of friends, turned out to be part of a protest. In the middle of trying to talk to them, they started holding up signs and screaming, while dozens more entered the restaurant along with news cameras.

They were protesting a raise in their rent, the people who own their building own the restaurant I work in.

What was frustrating is that while I understand the importance of fighting for fair housing and whatnot, it seems a little counterintuitive. They were protesting that they couldn't afford housing while also blocking me and my co workers from making the money necessary to pay for ours.

We ended up comping so much for the other patrons too.

- pornncomments

Snooping

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Guy and girl come in. they order food, seems all good - then the girl leaves her phone and goes to the bathroom. The guy picks up her phone and starts snooping. The girl comes back and catches him and is understandably pissed. She asks for their food to go. The guy looked guilty and the girl looked like she wanted to leave asap.

When she got the food she sort of shoved him in the chest and left. He paid for everything and quietly left immediately after.

- Sentricast

Delicious Desserts

Even though I had to work my ass out to make a bunch of cute stuff in the pastry of the hotel (mostly cause we were "clean" in the middle of the evening), I saw something...

It's not an horror, but it's sad.

When I went to the restaurant to ask the clients if they were enjoying the evening, I saw a boy, in his 20s, ALONE, eating a whole lot of desserts.

10 minutes later I went to him to ask if everything was fine. He just asked who made the deserts, right after I say it was me and my team. He said with a sad expression in his face that they were delicious.

I appreciated the comment, but I didn't know what to say anymore...

Has a Male pastry chef, I never seen a situation like that, and I can't even imagine what that guy felt.

- DennyRed1328

Forced Out

A single man came to the bar in our busy restaurant. He just wanted to sit and have some drinks and eat. This middle aged couple came to the bar cause they didn't want to wait, but there was only one seat. She sat down and we didn't have more chairs so he stood; he stood over the single man, loudly complaining, until the poor guy felt bad and got his check and left.

Didn't even get a chance to eat. F*ck those people. All the other servers were giving them stink eye and slower service.

- echeverianne

Lesbian Standards

Girl showed up and waited for an hour before her date came in. Her date came in looked at her and said, "Sorry. I might be a lesbian but I still have standards"

The girl was honestly pretty so I don't know why she didn't meet her date's 'standards.'

- Demidork231

Fire

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The Texas Roadhouse in my town caught on fire and everyone had to evacuate in like 10 degree weather soaking wet.

- jadienn

Drinks

One of the worst I've ever seen wasn't this year but a while back I'm in a big section of deuces (I guess we all are on VD) running my ass off non stop and I must have checked on this married couple ten times. They didn't order drinks or food yet and it's annoying because you sort of have a timeline for the flow of each table and they're just holding you up because you can't bring them what they need and then do other things for a while. You're kind of on edge until they're good if that makes sense to those who haven't waited tables.

Anyway, after about a half hour of this I walk slowly up to ask for the millionth time if I could help them pick out a glass of wine or cocktail or if they have any questions. They've been arguing the whole time but quietly so I don't think it's that serious. The second I pause to say my line she looks at him really calmly and just blurts out "I want a divorce."

He got really red and said "I need a f*cking drink". I didn't think he was serious but she let out a huge sigh and agreed and they literally ordered drinks and then proceeded to talk it out and drink together.

Honestly the whole night was better after she said it but still one of the most shocking things I've heard.

- redrabbit1289

Instant Karma

Not staff, but as I was taking my wife into Texas Roadhouse, this redneck looking dude came busting out of the place screaming insults at his date who was not far behind him. As soon as he crossed the curb, without looking, he got hit by a car exiting the lot.

Paramedics splinted his arm and patched him up, and his date didn't wait for him.

- Hoesy

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

boy playing at laptop inside room
Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

Person holding large stack of books
Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.