As humans, we always have this natural desire to find an explanation for every weird thing that happens to us. We are inherently skeptics. But at least a few times in our lifetime, we stumble upon an experience that is completely unexplainable, and it permanently rocks our world.
Keep your mind open when you read these stories. Because some of these things just aren't meant to be explained. NotAMazda asked:
These encounters can get pretty spooky. And when things get spooky, the unexplainable also becomes unforgettable.
The creepy stuff stays with you forever.
“I had a living room in my parents two story house that connected to stairs leading to the second floor of the house. You could see completely down the hall on the second floor from the couch in the living room. One time my family went away on vacation, so I had my cousin come over while I house sat for them. I'd been alone in this house for a couple of days now and I just really wanted company.
We're sitting on this couch playing Xbox, or something. The stairs leading to the second floor are almost out of my vision. At the very top of the stairs on the left is a doorway leading to a bathroom and nothing else. We were up pretty late gaming when out of the corner of my eye I saw a grey face lean out and stare at me for a split second. I didn't budge, I just barely noticed it, but as soon as I did, it was gone. I hadn't snapped to look at it, nor did I say anything. I just continued gaming for about three seconds until my cousin said "Did you just see that?" As soon as our eyes connected we both knew we saw the same thing.
The second my cousin said that, I felt my heart sink. It scared the sh*t out of me to have him pretty much confirm what I saw, but brushed off. I had immediately assumed it was just one of those blurs, or darting shadows you get in the corner of your eyes at times. The creepiest part is that it slid out as if it were lying on the floor. Whatever it was, it's head was at level with the top of the steps right at the bottom of the bathroom door frame. It just sorta slid out, stared, then slid back. Again, I just saw it from the corner of my eyes, but it appeared to be grey skinned with black hair from our combined description. We went up stairs and checked the whole bathroom, including the insides of luggage bags in the closet. We never found anything.
Edit: To this day I still can't have a door in my house open. I'm afraid Ill be looking down the hall and some gray skinned creature will just lean half it's face out to silently stare at me, and then vanish.
To all the people saying it was a raccoon or something, you think exactly like me. Using that as an excuse to go make sure the bathroom is clear. We both knew it was a lie, but we both would've felt safer getting attacked by a raccoon at that point. That's why we checked every single bag in the closet. Whatever it was, we had trapped into the bathroom. It had nowhere to go. Whatever it was, it disappeared without a trace.”
That’s a loooong nap.At Home Reaction GIF by IKEA USA Giphy
“When I was around 15, my parents left me home alone for the weekend (Friday night to Sunday later afternoon), and I was thinking 'this is awesome. I can chill, play games all weekend and eat what I want.' Went to sleep Friday night, and then woke up to my mum waking me up to what I thought was the next morning. So I asked, 'what happened? I thought you were going out the whole weekend?', to which she replied, 'what are you talking about? it's 4pm Sunday.'
I have no idea what happened to those two days. I didn't leave the house. There was no food or washing up that had changed since they left. I hadn't looked at my phone, there were unread messages from Saturday morning. But I refuse to believe I was asleep the whole time.”
Trust your intuition.
“A really strong feeling kept me out of a high-rise building during an earthquake.
I was staying late at work with some colleagues. Our office was located around the 40-50th floor of the building. I suddenly had a really strong thought that wow, if an earthquake were to hit now, the dash downstairs would be chaotic. I tried to brush it off but couldn't, the feeling was so strong. And it's not like I'm not used to working in high-rise buildings - I've been working at the place for around 2 years at that point, and had never felt that way before or since.
I decided to leave and work from home, which was only 15 minutes away on foot. Just as I arrived at home, an earthquake struck. It was pretty intense, and thankfully everyone at the office was alright, just freaked out, but it was so strange that something just told me to leave just minutes before it happened.”
A lot of these things can be chalked up to what some call “a glitch in the Matrix”. Here are some prime examples.
Mysterious rectangles are spooky.
“I was walking to my friend's house one summer, maybe 10 or 11 years old. Anyways, sunny day, couple clouds but otherwise it's bright out, perfect visibility, when a perfectly rectangular shadow comes up from the direction behind me on the ground, maybe 15' x 30' in size, travelling just faster than a car probably would be and goes over top of me. I'm looking at the shape on the ground as it goes over, and when I do look up to the sky I don't see anything that could have possibly cast it. Even the clouds were just trailing little wisps. I looked back down and it was going over some houses, and then it was gone forever.
So yeah, weirdest thing was a Mystery Rectangle Shadow.”
Spooky boy.Scared Alex Wolff GIF by A24 Giphy
“Not me but my parents. In the place they used to live in, there was this old couch. My mom sometimes would walk by in the middle of the night and see a silhouette sitting there. She describes it as a man, sitting down, with a hat on, just sitting there. She saw it several times but thought nothing of it (damn she's brave lmao).
She never told my dad, who one day said to her "it's weird, but sometimes in the middle of the night I think I see a man sitting down on the couch doing nothing".
So yeah, they both saw the same man sitting on this couch, and they told each other after they'd both seen it. Weird.”
Kids can see ghosts, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
“When my daughter was about 18 months old, her grandmother passed away.
That evening, I put my daughter to bed as normal, but instead of going to sleep pretty quickly as she usually did, she spent over an hour giggling and squealing with laughter. When I went to check on her, she was staring at an empty chair in her room, laughing as if she was watching the funniest thing ever.
This carried on every night until the day of her grandmother's funeral.”
This one is sweet.
“2 days after one of my closest, dearest friends died (we were semi-expecting it after he was in a terrible accident) I fell asleep in the library at school. This was after a horrific couple of days trying to process everything & function normally - I was massively sleep deprived. I placed my head in my arms on the library desk and I woke up and there he was beside me.
It was a scenario that had happened so many times - us revising and hanging out in the library together, whispered jokes and banter - that it didn't feel strange at all.
We stood up and wandered around, watched one librarian putting books away on shelves, there was a girl reading a book sat on the floor with sickly bright yellow socks, my friend made some silly Dad-joke about them being too 'loud for the library'. We chatted in low voices, about nothing much - the usual chit chat - and then went back to the desks.
I woke up and he was gone, of course, I was startled but weirdly euphoric. I went over the same set of shelves and had deja-vu: saw the same librarian putting away the books and the same girl with the yellow socks still there sat on the floor reading. I swear to this day I hadn't seen them before I went to sleep.
I like to think it was his way of saying goodbye. It helped me immensely, even though I know it was probably just a dream. But the socks thing has always stuck with me, and anytime I see a pair of 'loud' yellow socks (not very often!) I think of him and our final chat."
It’s best not to be scared in these moments. You gotta just accept the unknown.
Some Harry Potter sh*t going on.harry potter and the philosophers stone GIF Giphy
“Not totally unexplainable and can just call it coincidence if you don't believe in sorcery. When I was in kindergarten or maybe first grade, we had a blackout at my school, and this kid goes "wait, I'll light a match" and proceeded to pretend to light an invisible match and the lights came back on, and we cheered for him. Then he said "oh it's too hot, and he "blew it out", then the lights went back out.
“15 years old, I was taking a shower at home. The rest of my family was out and it was around 930 at night I believe. Anyway, I hear someone knock on the bathroom door while I'm showering, so I call out "I'll be out in a sec!" Thinking it's just my dad or one of my brothers getting home.
There was silence for a few moments, and then knocking again--only this time it was pounding, like someone was banging on it with their fists, trying to break it down barehanded. It was a little creepy, but my dad always loved to prank us so I didn't think too much of it. I decided to get a towel around me and see what the hell his problem was anyway, but when I opened the door, no one was there.
The house was locked up, no open windows. No cars in the driveway. I checked every floor, every room. No one else was home. That was the first occurrence; the weird happenings continued in smaller ways until we moved out of that house, to the point that we imagined it to be some sort of Poltergeist and named them Edgar."
Once again, always trust your intuition.
“I started having a panic attack one night out of nowhere, I kept repeating "somethings wrong." I do have anxiety but had only had one other panic attack before this day.
My husband sat on the bed with me and we tried to figure out what had triggered this. The only thing we could think of is that a family member of mine was going on a trip the next day and maybe that was making me nervous. So I made up a weird excuse to drop off coffee before they left super early the next morning. When I saw them, I felt fine. I immediately knew it wasn't connected, wished them well, and drove home.
About an hour later, I get a call that a person in my family on the other side of the country died the night before."
My personal opinion is that we all have psychic gifts, and we all have the ability to see into the unknown. It’s just about whether or not we tap into it.
So the next times you feel an intuitive pull, don’t be so skeptical! You never know where it can lead you.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.