I love weddings. Who doesn't?
As long as there is an open bar.
I have attended weddings that left me with PTSD.
Some people's "taste" in fashion or decorum leaves much to be desired.
But even the craziest and the trashiest were a hoot.
Redditor View-Overall wanted to hear all the tea about weddings that have left an impression. They asked:
"What's the trashiest wedding you've been to?"
Weddings are a unique experience. And it should be a dream. Not a nightmare.
Ummm....
stripper GIF
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"The bride and her sisters did a strip tease/lap dance on the groom immediately following dinner. In front of his grandmother."
JohnaldL
tailgate...
"At a park. Pick up trucks with igloo coolers opened on the tailgate were the bar. Everything was served in red solo cups BEFORE the wedding. Everyone got drunk. The bride walked down the aisle drinking from a red solo cup instead of holding a bouquet. It was essentially a tailgate party with a preacher invited."
Butterbean-queen
"I Studied The Blade"
"Really old friend of my wife's. She hadn't seen her in years but was invited to her wedding. The guy this chick was marrying was absolute 'I Studied The Blade' levels of cringe. He was shirtless, wore black jeans and his arms were covered in barbwire tattoos and quotes that you'd find on those idiotic 'bada**' skeleton memes where they point guns at you and claim they'll 'f**k you up if you hurt anyone I care about' kind of crap."
"It was quickly apparent my wife and I were the only ones in attendance that practiced normal human hygiene. They were roasting what I thought was a suckling pig on a spit, but as it cooked, I noticed shit bubbling out of its a** and its stomach was swelling."
"I asked his best man if this was a properly slaughtered pig, and the best man proceeds to regale me with the tale of how he and the groom got s**t faced the night before, climbed into a nearby farm, and stole this pig. They shot it in the head and impaled it with a long piece of rebar, which upon closer inspection was what it was turning on."
"Just so happens while we were discussing the groom's recent crime, the pig's stomach exploded. Blood, crap and guts poured out in enough quantities to put out the fire. Wife and I had already given each other the 'yeah, time for us to GTFO of dodge' look before this, but yeah, needless to say we beelined for the car and left."
"We later found out the cops showed up and arrested the groom and his best man once the farmer they stole from realized one of his prized pigs was missing. The groom tried to fight the cops and got tased. He made it easy for them by already being shirtless. Mmyep."
Shadow_Researcher
dad's second...
"Probably my dad's 2nd marriage. Along the banks of a river with trailer homes in the background. He's wearing a tuxedo T-shirt and rainbow mirror sunglasses. The ceremony took place at noon: he'd been drinking since 5AM. I had to walk one of the bridesmaids down a flight of steps as she was legally blind, and someone asked me if I was going to bang her. sighs."
shibbster
Oh Girl...
patrick swayze film GIF by Lionsgate Home Entertainment
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"Surely that video of the bride walking down the backyard aisle while dirty dancing to her own crappy recorded cover of crazy has got to be up around here somewhere,"
Crash4654
Maybe wedding planners really are worth the money?
The DJ Saved my Life...
Dj GIF by Beastie Boys
Giphy
"I was actually the bartender but it was a hoot. 1st, wedding was outside and it stormed violently. Groom was hammered pre wedding."
"Hit on all the bartenders. Then the DJ got hammered, made lewd comments to women in the microphone. Then basically everyone was hammered, knocked over the wedding cake which also happened to be a table with many candles, so the place caught on fire. Good times. Often wonder how that marriage worked out."
SnooHobbies7109
In Mississippi
"My own. In a Mississippi judge's office with a bag of Cheetos on her desk. She wiped her hands on a napkin, grabbed a Bible, and did her thing with orange crumbs on her lips. Her work heels were not on because she was in her office. It was extremely rushed. I understand that she was on her break but we didn't mind waiting. Idk why they rushed us through."
Zezima-RS
Hooters
"A wedding on the beach behind Hooters. The officiant stood next to a trash bin. As if it was planned, the trash collector pulled up during the vows. Did he wait to change the bag? Absolutely not. Children at the wedding swarmed the couple like the flies around the trash can just after the kiss, stepping all over her dress."
"She bent over to adjust her sandal and a pack of Marlboro reds fell out of the bust along with her right breast. It felt like we were rubber necking instead witnessing a marriage. I’d ask how y’all knew this was the panhandle of Florida, (Pensacola) but when I read this post to my fiancé, he added, 'Hummingbird, you forgot to add the background of boats sporting Trump flags and rental jet skis.'" 🤣
Svetlana_of_Athens
CAMO...
"Camo print wedding dress that was borderline see-through. Walked down the aisle to the Scooby Doo theme. No, nobody knows why they chose that song, including the couple themselves. They divorced a few months later after they both stopped cleaning the house in an act of defiance against one another."
Much_Difference
"What? No!"
What Is It Reaction GIF by Nebraska Humane Society
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"My friends told me my dog could be my +1 at their wedding. At first I said, 'What? No!' but they insisted because Buddy is a great dog and I am a sad single person. So I put a tie on the dog and we went to a wedding."
EstroJen
The Dance
"I don’t even know where to begin... ceremony was comprised of immediate family then followed by a reception with all guests in a relatively nice hotel banquet hall. An hour in at 7pm the open bar was completely closed down because MULTIPLE guests were throwing up in the bathroom sinks causing flooding, the groom was so wasted even before the ceremony but was blackout by the time of reception."
"During the first dance he kept his hands in his cargo pant khakis the entire time and ate dinner sitting on the floor in a corner of the hall while the bride sat at the head table alone. About two hours in, the groom randomly left and slept at their house while the bride stayed in the newlywed suite by herself... they are now separated as you may have assumed by this point."
Rdab3
At a bogan wedding...
"Waitress at a bogan wedding. The night ended with the chef and I rounding up the kids and barricading us all in the kitchen and locking the doors to prevent the melee of fighting adults outside from A) accessing MORE weapons (Some of them BYO’d knives) and B) hurting the kids."
"They ranged in age from toddlers to preteens. It was just the chef and I, 2 women and a whole bunch of screaming and frightened kids until the police came and carted everyone off to jail. Wedding photographer showed up the next morning for the scheduled photoshoot. I had to tell him he could find the wedding party at the local jail. The chef and I are still friends, but we both quit that place shortly after that epic wedding."
a_nonny_mooze
The MOB
"The bride made a speech thanking her in laws for financial assistance for the event. Her mother was not thanked and she was furious. There was a long head table for bridal party and parents. It was made out of small tables pushed together covered by one long tablecloth. The mother pulled a small table out of the arrangement, catching the table cloth, and nearly destroying the head table set up."
"Now the bride got angry and there was much back and forth with various family members attempting to make peace. The mother refused to push back her table and began to invite others to sit with her, all people who were not meant to be seated at the front. Mother of bride continued to sit there and talk crap about her daughter, the bride, to anyone who would listen."
lilyspads
Conjuring the Storm
Animated GIF
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"I once worked a wedding where come time for the first dance no one could find the groom. Turns out, he went to the resort’s shooting barn to shoot clay pigeons. Upon learning this news, the bride reacted by cursing up a storm on the dance floor."
Catsandsnacks22
31 Years In
"Probably mine. My wife and I married after only knowing each other for 3 months. We were married in front of a judge on a Saturday morning. We're standing up there and they bring in all the guys that got arrested from the night before... mostly for drunk and disorderly or whatever. And I thought 'oh no... we have to get married in front of these guys?'"
"But the judge was pretty cool and he took us back this his chambers and married us there. When we were walking out of his chambers, all the guys they had brought in were smiling at us. It was really weird. But hey, we've been married now for 31 years. So I guess we can't complain too much."
goofball_jones
Things to Say at a Wedding...
"Wedding was in a suburban driveway. The maid of honor stole the bouquet from someone’s garden and the best man proudly announced he had shoplifted the rings. The groom wore a button-down shirt that said ‘f**k off’ in fancy lettering. The bride stopped in the middle of the vows to tell her mother to ‘get that f**king kid out of here.’ It was her second kid by the previous bloke. When it was over, we apologized to the celebrant. He said he’d seen worse."
HopelessEmu
Like none...
"There were no tables and chairs. Like none. They had an open bar but no freaking chairs. Everyone had to put their drink on the ground and hold their plate to eat. It was freaking crazy. Everyone just assumed that some sort of terrible thing happened where the tables and chair people didn't bring them but afterwards I asked her (the bride) what happened and she just said 'Oh we would have had to pay extra for that.'"
PM_MEE_P**SY_PICS
“make it work”
"This one’s a twofer! The bride’s best friend (and MOH) uses the wedding to announce that she’s pregnant, with the groom’s child. Cut to: divorce after 2.5 years of trying to 'make it work' and now groom is marrying the previous MOH, his baby mama, when the now ex-wife and (for some unknown reason the MOH) announces that she’s also pregnant with, you guessed it, the groom’s child! Both weddings had great food and an open bar so I can’t complain; plus I got a great story out of it."
tankgirl619
When in Buffalo
"I had one of my friends from high school get married in a trashy way. His fiancé at the time invited him to lunch at Buffalo wild wings and she had also invited the whole family (they where in on it) and once my friend showed up he found out it was a surprises wedding (just like you would do a surprise birthday party)."
"The even trashier part is they didn't like reserve the restaurant or anything so in his wedding photos (standing in front of the bathrooms by the way) you can see complete strangers coming out of the bathrooms."
TaintedTruth222
Like I said earlier... "ALWAYS HAVE AN OPEN BAR!!" It's just the way to go!
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For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
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"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
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"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
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"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
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What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
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Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
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Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
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Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...