Teachers: the almighty, all-knowing adults that construct children's realities for years
That is, until you become the age your teacher was at the time. And then you realize that was just an exhausted adult doing their best.
When managing a classroom stocked with 25 screaming 9-year-olds, some white lies can be convenient.
Or perhaps the teacher sharing the occasional minor falsegood doesn't do so consciously. Even adults—especially adults, you might say—have a tendency to embrace incorrect information.
Deliberate or not, those untruths have been stopped in their tracks by a recent Reddit thread.
It's authors? Frustrated grown-ups intent on setting the record straight.
MomosOnSale asked, "What is something school taught you which turned out to be false?"
After All, I Have Surpassed a 3rd Grade Level
"The body cannot produce new nerve/brain cells. Turns out neurogenesis is a very real phenomenon."
"Btw: I was taught that the body cannot make new nervous cells this year in my senior Human Anatomy class, long after neurogenesis was discovered."
Rumors Still Abound
"That we had a 'permanent record.' " -- PM_Me_Nudes_2_Review
"While in school, every student does indeed have a permanent record. I was a janitor for my high school, Jr. and Sr. year."
"Having keys to everything in the school and no supervision, I looked through mine and a few of my friends' permanent records. There are some very strange things in those files." -- TheJesterSprit
The Golden Years Just Keep Getting Pushed Back
" 'These are the best years of your life.' " -- youcansuckaf*ck
"Dad: Middle school sucks, I know. But when you get into high school it will get a lot better."
"Middle school me graduating: Hell yeah! High schools gonna be awesome."
"High school me: this sucks."
"Dad: I know, but when you get into college it's going to get a lot better." -- What-Did-I-Do-Wrong
A Poor Indicator
"That grades in elementary and middle school actually matter."
"I had a 45 in my 5th grade history class at one point, and I LOVED history. I just didn't like having to memorize the preamble to the constitution and other pointless things my school made us do."
"I now read and study history on my own and know far more history than the average person."
The Eternal Popularity Contest
"Just because you are popular doesn't mean you'll be successful. F*ck all!"
"Since graduating college it's been all about networks and who you know / who likes you."
"I've literally asked people how they got their job and they said they knew someone that pulled them in with no qualifications or experience."
"It's a tough pill to swallow."
The Least of What's in Our Pockets
"You won't have a calculator in your pocket." -- moe_skweeto
"Not to mention how they implied it's necessary to perform calculations of the spot. Nobody is pointing guns at people demanding they solve 15x12.5 in a minute. If it's important, you'd have a calculator, infact you'd double check your math with a calculator." -- GoabNZ
Written by the Winners
"Hawai'ians wanted to be a territory so they could join the US and become a state and were overjoyed when they achieved statehood." -- Notmykl
"Isn't the story told during luaus about how awful it was that the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown and how upset everyone was that Hawaii had to be a state under the US government instead of their own?" -- PorcupAnna
"I'm born and raised in Hawaii. This is taught outside of the state? Since elementary school we knew that Hawaii was annexed, Queen Lilioukalani was under house arrest & overthrown, and no one was happy except the five powerful white guys that manipulated it all. I'm not native Hawaiian but goddamn." -- catsorfries
They Never Mentioned All the Covert Texts and Strange Living Rooms
"That you were going to be offered drugs all the time. I have yet to be offered drugs (without me asking) for free..." -- latuna_
"No one's gonna share there drugs. Just ask someone for gum." -- plagiarism22
"God damn cheapskates! Where are mah free drugs!" -- potat_infinity
Thank God. Would Have Been So Chaotic
"Only parts of your tongue control the different tastes." -- SlimChiply
"This was hilarious and confusing to me even as a child. The teacher was going around with a piece of orange or something to demonstrate by putting it on the salty part of our tongue. I told her I could still taste it. She told me no I couldn't."
"Ok then." -- TimeTravelMishap
Or Perhaps the Golden Years Were Only Yet to Come
"That the working adult world is a brutal autocracy, run entirely by slave-driving bosses who are absurdly strict about getting everything done exactly to their specifications."
"In reality, school was seven shi**y part time jobs you take home with you and do again at night but with no guidance. Oh, don't forget that you're a financial and emotional burden on your family by attending rather than bringing in money!"
"The reality of work is that most people just want to get things done comfortably and go home on time."
-- keth802
State Education Guideline #4: Induce Panic!
"Two things."
"Keep these papers they're important don't lose them (I ended up hoarding papers all the way from 1st grade to senior year of high school)."
"If you ever get a C or into a fight or cheat you'll never go to College and you'll be blacklisted from applying or attending any of them."
"I didn't really think of the impact these things had on me and suffice to say I feel like I'm worse off for it."
At Least We Finally Got a Plate
"Nutrition. When I started elementary school it was the four food groups, by high school it was the food pyramid, and by college it turned into MyPlate."
"You can't ever keep up and it constantly changed, so who knows what'll turn into next."
-- llcucf80
All Those Extensions on Papers....
"College professors would be more strict." -- michaeltheantisocial
"The first time I started college and a student just got up and went to the restroom about did me in. In high school you didn't dare just leave or be in the halls without a pass, that did not happen in my high school." -- llcucf80
"Seriously. College was super laid back for me compared to high school in terms of interactions with the staff."
"Hell, one of my professors even transferred to my WoW server and raided with my guild for a bit. I pulled a solid B- in that class, which isn't that bad considering I never studied for it. I was too busy playing WoW with the prof." -- slowhand88
Now We're All Stuck With the Weird Hybrid
"You won't get anywhere in life without learning how to write in cursive." -- frequentstreaker
"Every year in elementary school my teachers said 'you'll learn cursive next year, but I'll teach you a little bit now.' That happened until high school when the teacher was surprised that half the class couldn't read cursive." -- natjojojo
"Stares at birthday card from my grandmother for 20 minutes...'Oh yeah I know some of these words.' " -- Behkeybeerkey
Actually, Everything is Hanging on by a Thread
"You can rely on authority figures to resolve your interpersonal conflicts." -- HumanoidRobot
"Yep. Wait til you get to the real world and they are the cause of the conflicts...." -- DrVerryBerry
"My mom works for a school district so she tells me about the work gossip. Let me tell ya, the drama that goes on behind the scenes at school is just as bad as the drama between the students." -- basic-chem-student
"Until you run into an officer that says, 'Uh, sorry, nothing we can do.' What the fuck then?" -- Cynderalus
"Showing Skin is Showing Skin!!"
"That girls shoulders, collar bones, legs, arms, backs and knees need to be covered so the boys can learn properly." -- Annia12345
"When I was a teenager, the girls could be in a sealed box in another hemisphere and they'd still distract me." -- HatfieldCW
"Don't forget the necks. Those damnable sluts showing their necks in 102 degree weather." -- gglitchbitch
Let's Hear it for Spanish Class
"I went to Christian school. I don't know where to start..."
"There was my English teacher who spent entire classes telling us that dinosaurs were still alive and live in the jungles of South America."
"My bible teacher told us about the time an angel came to her window after having premarital sex to say God was disappointed in her but that she could change her ways."
"My social studies teacher was convinced that rock music was a form of satanic mind control."
"My Spanish teacher was really great. No complaints."
-- IndyMazzy
A Good Mother, for When School Fails
"That American Indians were savages who just gave us land then sporadically fought over it. Textbooks these days wont even include most of the fighting or violence."
"Thank heavens my mom talked to me about what I was learning and set the record straight. I learned more about true American history from my own mother at home than the school system."
"To this day these widely known facts are being ignored in schools and most other places."
-- swimnicky
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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