After All, I Have Surpassed a 3rd Grade Level

"The body cannot produce new nerve/brain cells. Turns out neurogenesis is a very real phenomenon."

"Btw: I was taught that the body cannot make new nervous cells this year in my senior Human Anatomy class, long after neurogenesis was discovered."

-- ABronawithCorona

Rumors Still Abound

"That we had a 'permanent record.' " -- PM_Me_Nudes_2_Review

"While in school, every student does indeed have a permanent record. I was a janitor for my high school, Jr. and Sr. year."

"Having keys to everything in the school and no supervision, I looked through mine and a few of my friends' permanent records. There are some very strange things in those files." -- TheJesterSprit

The Golden Years Just Keep Getting Pushed Back

" 'These are the best years of your life.' " -- youcansuckaf*ck

"Dad: Middle school sucks, I know. But when you get into high school it will get a lot better."

"Middle school me graduating: Hell yeah! High schools gonna be awesome."

"High school me: this sucks."

"Dad: I know, but when you get into college it's going to get a lot better." -- What-Did-I-Do-Wrong

A Poor Indicator

"That grades in elementary and middle school actually matter."

"I had a 45 in my 5th grade history class at one point, and I LOVED history. I just didn't like having to memorize the preamble to the constitution and other pointless things my school made us do."

"I now read and study history on my own and know far more history than the average person."

-- jonahvsthewhale

The Eternal Popularity Contest

"Just because you are popular doesn't mean you'll be successful. F*ck all!"

"Since graduating college it's been all about networks and who you know / who likes you."

"I've literally asked people how they got their job and they said they knew someone that pulled them in with no qualifications or experience."

"It's a tough pill to swallow."

-- ProlapsedThoughts

The Least of What's in Our Pockets

"You won't have a calculator in your pocket." -- moe_skweeto

"Not to mention how they implied it's necessary to perform calculations of the spot. Nobody is pointing guns at people demanding they solve 15x12.5 in a minute. If it's important, you'd have a calculator, infact you'd double check your math with a calculator." -- GoabNZ

Written by the Winners

"Hawai'ians wanted to be a territory so they could join the US and become a state and were overjoyed when they achieved statehood." -- Notmykl

"Isn't the story told during luaus about how awful it was that the Hawaiian Queen was overthrown and how upset everyone was that Hawaii had to be a state under the US government instead of their own?" -- PorcupAnna

"I'm born and raised in Hawaii. This is taught outside of the state? Since elementary school we knew that Hawaii was annexed, Queen Lilioukalani was under house arrest & overthrown, and no one was happy except the five powerful white guys that manipulated it all. I'm not native Hawaiian but goddamn." -- catsorfries

They Never Mentioned All the Covert Texts and Strange Living Rooms

"That you were going to be offered drugs all the time. I have yet to be offered drugs (without me asking) for free..." -- latuna_

"No one's gonna share there drugs. Just ask someone for gum." -- plagiarism22

"God damn cheapskates! Where are mah free drugs!" -- potat_infinity

Thank God. Would Have Been So Chaotic

"Only parts of your tongue control the different tastes." -- SlimChiply

"This was hilarious and confusing to me even as a child. The teacher was going around with a piece of orange or something to demonstrate by putting it on the salty part of our tongue. I told her I could still taste it. She told me no I couldn't."

"Ok then." -- TimeTravelMishap

Or Perhaps the Golden Years Were Only Yet to Come

"That the working adult world is a brutal autocracy, run entirely by slave-driving bosses who are absurdly strict about getting everything done exactly to their specifications."

"In reality, school was seven shi**y part time jobs you take home with you and do again at night but with no guidance. Oh, don't forget that you're a financial and emotional burden on your family by attending rather than bringing in money!"

"The reality of work is that most people just want to get things done comfortably and go home on time."

-- keth802

State Education Guideline #4: Induce Panic!

"Two things."

"Keep these papers they're important don't lose them (I ended up hoarding papers all the way from 1st grade to senior year of high school)."

"If you ever get a C or into a fight or cheat you'll never go to College and you'll be blacklisted from applying or attending any of them."

"I didn't really think of the impact these things had on me and suffice to say I feel like I'm worse off for it."

-- TurkeyBLTSandwich

At Least We Finally Got a Plate

"Nutrition. When I started elementary school it was the four food groups, by high school it was the food pyramid, and by college it turned into MyPlate."

"You can't ever keep up and it constantly changed, so who knows what'll turn into next."

-- llcucf80

All Those Extensions on Papers....

"College professors would be more strict." -- michaeltheantisocial

"The first time I started college and a student just got up and went to the restroom about did me in. In high school you didn't dare just leave or be in the halls without a pass, that did not happen in my high school." -- llcucf80

"Seriously. College was super laid back for me compared to high school in terms of interactions with the staff."

"Hell, one of my professors even transferred to my WoW server and raided with my guild for a bit. I pulled a solid B- in that class, which isn't that bad considering I never studied for it. I was too busy playing WoW with the prof." -- slowhand88

Now We're All Stuck With the Weird Hybrid

"You won't get anywhere in life without learning how to write in cursive." -- frequentstreaker

"Every year in elementary school my teachers said 'you'll learn cursive next year, but I'll teach you a little bit now.' That happened until high school when the teacher was surprised that half the class couldn't read cursive." -- natjojojo

"Stares at birthday card from my grandmother for 20 minutes...'Oh yeah I know some of these words.' " -- Behkeybeerkey

Actually, Everything is Hanging on by a Thread

"You can rely on authority figures to resolve your interpersonal conflicts." -- HumanoidRobot

"Yep. Wait til you get to the real world and they are the cause of the conflicts...." -- DrVerryBerry

"My mom works for a school district so she tells me about the work gossip. Let me tell ya, the drama that goes on behind the scenes at school is just as bad as the drama between the students." -- basic-chem-student

"Until you run into an officer that says, 'Uh, sorry, nothing we can do.' What the fuck then?" -- Cynderalus

"Showing Skin is Showing Skin!!"

"That girls shoulders, collar bones, legs, arms, backs and knees need to be covered so the boys can learn properly." -- Annia12345

"When I was a teenager, the girls could be in a sealed box in another hemisphere and they'd still distract me." -- HatfieldCW

"Don't forget the necks. Those damnable sluts showing their necks in 102 degree weather." -- gglitchbitch

Let's Hear it for Spanish Class

"I went to Christian school. I don't know where to start..."

"There was my English teacher who spent entire classes telling us that dinosaurs were still alive and live in the jungles of South America."

"My bible teacher told us about the time an angel came to her window after having premarital sex to say God was disappointed in her but that she could change her ways."

"My social studies teacher was convinced that rock music was a form of satanic mind control."

"My Spanish teacher was really great. No complaints."

-- IndyMazzy

A Good Mother, for When School Fails

"That American Indians were savages who just gave us land then sporadically fought over it. Textbooks these days wont even include most of the fighting or violence."

"Thank heavens my mom talked to me about what I was learning and set the record straight. I learned more about true American history from my own mother at home than the school system."

"To this day these widely known facts are being ignored in schools and most other places."

-- swimnicky