XiXinXing / Getty
"Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change." ~ Thomas Hardy.
What we accept as normal changes over time. What was once unheard of becomes our new normal.
Reddit user James_Toris asked:
What is something that was frowned upon 20 years ago but is now accepted if not encouraged?
People reflected on the last 20 years, 1997-2017, and provided their insights. These are their most interesting observations.
Need a Lyft?
Stepping into strangers cars. 1997: "Never get into a car with a person you don't know, they could be a rapist or a murderer!" 2017: "Let's find a random person on the internet and have him pick us up at 3 am and then give him my address! Maybe he'll give us candy too!" Iusedtodoittoo DA_KING_IN_DA_NORF
Know Your Worth
Expecting people to work for free. As a journalist it's staggering the number of publications that are trying to get people to write for free (its exposure!). And surprisingly there are people who agree to this, thus taking a job away from someone who needs the money to live. fletchindubai
Equality
I would say being gay, 20 years ago when I was in high school there was nobody coming out. (I)t's easier to come out today than 20 years ago. Savage_112
Stranger Danger
Meeting people from the internet. Now it's like: order an Uber and jump in a stranger's car to go on a date with a stranger you met on Tinder and when it goes well take them back to your place and order late night burritos online to be delivered to your door by another stranger. BillieRubenCamGirl
Househusband
Stay at home dads. Admittedly I live in a pretty liberal, urban area, but most people I know have done a total 180 on stay at home parents. Stay at home dads used to be considered lazy layabouts who didn't want to or couldn't manage to support their families. Now, though, if you're a stay at home dad you're usually congratulated for being progressive and feminist, for being a good, present dad, and for supporting your career-focused wife. And I think that's great: we should all be in favor of stay-at-home dads, because dads should get the chance to be present, participatory parents too. Families should be flexible.
However, I've noticed that a parallel change has occurred: stay-at-home moms are honestly kind of denigrated and looked-down-upon nowadays. While in the past stay at home moms were seen as wholesome, nurturing, and honorable, now they're often seen the way stay-at-home-dads were viewed, with an added touch of unhelpful "lean in" career-focused feminism; they're seen as lazy, not wanting to work, not "leaning in" to their careers enough, not "real" feminists, not independent women, and having "given up" on themselves. It bugs me a lot. Why can't we just be chill with all parents, so long as they're kind and good, whether they stay at home or work or whatever? _psychedalek_
Body Art
Tattoos, probably. I wouldn't say they're encouraged per se, but they definitely seem to be way more common and accepted these days. HeartsCreed
Terms & Conditions
Agreeing to stuff before reading the agreement. Search_ShaggieTv
Seems Safe
Entering your credit card info on a website. GetHighAndTinker
Ad Revenue
Non-pop musicians selling out. Back then it was okay if Madonna did a commercial for a major brand because, hey, she was Madonna. She's pop. That's what they do. But if a band like Green Day allowed a song of theirs to used for, example, in a Coke commercial, there would be a loud roar of, "Sell out!" These days, fans would be overjoyed to hear one of their songs pitching their favorite brands. The "sell out" cry as an insult is dead. Now people are, "Get that money anyway you can!" inksmudgedhands
Long Engagement
Being someone's fiance for ever and ever and ever without ever marrying. Offthepoint
Big Brother
Online dating and being open on the internet. Both in a good "the world is better for this" way but also in a "we have everything there is to know about you on a server". jackboy900
Charge It
Personally people these days have so much debt, when I was a kid I was encouraged to not let myself get into debt but nowadays seems like everyone is up to their ears in it.
it's basically accepted as part of adult life that you have to put yourself massively in debt to get anywhere. Especially since the easiest way to build credit when you have none is to get a credit card. Jarofkickass DabLord5425
Giphy
Leggy
Wearing leggings. 20 years ago, in 1997, leggings had gone out of style recently enough ago that they weren't plausibly retro, and long enough ago that wearing them was seen as frumpy and trailer-trash, even for exercise or under a dress. (It's possible some serious competitive athletes had fitted pants that were specialty wear for their sport, but regular people going to the gym or going for a run wouldn't even consider it.) jednorazowa
Mentally Healthy
Starting at 1998, I'd say people can more openly speak about mental illness. Depression, anxiety, etc. aren't "as" dark of a secret anymore. layla
#MeToo
Speaking out on sexual harassment seems to be more and more encouraged. layla__
Baby Got Back
Having a big arse. 20 years ago I remember everyone wanting to look like Winona Ryder or Kate Moss, and lots of jokes were based around the whole "Does my butt look big in this?" thing. Now Beyonc and Kim Kardashian are in all the magazines, and women are incorporating squats into their exercise routines deliberately to get bigger butts. I realize that social ideas about beauty vary culturally and historically, but it has been interesting to see it change in my lifetime. DeformedPig insearchoflostwine
Alexa
Allowing a corporation to have a microphone always on in your living room. Where I'm from, 30 years ago government put microphones in the living rooms. They would have killed for opportunity to put microphones in every single living room. Or pocket. Instead they had to rely on old fashioned treats to neighbors to make them observe you and write reports every week. LiesInReplies Shitposted_666
Fatherhood
Fathers taking paternity leave, thankfully. Raising kids should not be exclusively a women's issue. Dads want to spend time with their kids as well.
Likewise, kids should be given the opportunity to grow up spending time with both parents. TrebuchetTurtle
Overshare
Putting your whole personal life online for the world to see. I deleted Facebook years ago, but there's still a sloshed party video with my full name in the title that comes up whenever you search for me. yourhardboiled shaggietv4
Anonymous
Putting your real identity online was a big "Heck no". I dont get how some people are okay with showing their faces on YouTube in front of potentially millions of viewers, along with their full names and where they live. They may not know your address, but if they know what state and city you live in, that could cause some problems.
Internet Safety 1997: Use your real name and a psycho will find you.
Internet Safety 2017: If you don't use your real name YOU are a psycho. ass2ssa ShinyKatana CrazyCoKids
Instant Access
Being available 24/7, be it for friends or calls from work.
That's one of my pet peeves. If someone texts or calls you and you don't answer right away, a lot of the time they seem to want an explanation. You're always "on call" for everybody. randomusernamehere2 TrebuchetTurtle
Touch and Motion
Touching the computer screen. When I was a kid, we used to laugh when my mom would try to play Mario and she would lift the controller to try to make him jump. Now when I visit my nephew, he laughs his ass off because I don't raise the controller to try to make Mario jump. Technology is funny that way. GallowBobster NotVerySmarts
Giphy
I have a constant fear of death. I wanna perfect the ending of "Death Becomes Her" so I can live forever.
Before
morbid death GIFGiphy"I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however."
Full-Mulberry5020
Why now?
"Why should I be scared now of something that's only going to happen at the end of my life?"
User Deleted
"I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer."
"Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want."
Conservative_HalfWit
Death and I are good friends...
"I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia."
"Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends."
Tiny_Teach_5466
No Worries
"Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not."
Giallo_submarine
It's Over
The Lord Of The Rings Mueller Report GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it."
MarshallApplewhiteDo
I never thought about the before much. I hope the before is quick.
The Effects
Pray I Hope GIFGiphy"I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralyzed. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me."
M1ssy_M3
No Terror
"It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist."
im_on-the_can
state of nonexistence...
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love."
Wazula42
I'm Gone...
"Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died)."
"It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?"
SallyHeap
At Peace
Season 3 Nbc GIF by The Good PlaceGiphy"I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach."
User Deleted
Some very interesting perspectives. May it all calm peacefully and with great mercy for us all.
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I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
Wait What Wtf GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
Lying Simon Rex GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphy"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
just kidding jk GIFGiphy"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"
Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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