Teaching is by no means an easy job––it's grossly under-appreciated, in fact.
Think of how observant teachers are, too. They're the experts, and they've likely noticed a palpable difference between the students of today and the students of yesteryear.
Gather 'round, one and all, and prepare to be schooled thanks to Redditor ihaveacrazyfamoly, who asked the online community: "Teachers/professors of reddit what is the difference between students of 1999/2009/2019?"
"There has been a definite move..."
Computer Science teacher here. There has been a definite move over time from trying to learn how to do something towards trying to find a ready made answer. Whenever I set my students an assignment, we discuss what they should do if they get stuck - typically involving re-reading notes, looking at the resources they've been given, looking at prior work, perhaps finally using web based resources. Students have always (as long as the web has been a thing) skipped straight to the last one, but the subtle change is rather than searching for HOW to do something, most now just search for a fully formed complete answer which they can copy and hand in.
"I've been a teacher..."
I've been a teacher for 15 years and one thing I've noticed is that in recent years the "breakfast club" stereotypes like jocks, nerds, etc. seem to be falling by the wayside and kids seem to be hidden under many layers of irony.
"I've been teaching high school..."
I've been teaching high school since 1993.
Students are less homophobic by a long shot, at least where I've been. There is still homophobia but they can't be open about it.
Students talk about things like depression and mental illness more; whether the prevalence rate for things like depression actually is higher or not I don't know, but it's more talked about.
Attitudes toward school are about the same. Hard workers, average workers, and slackers are still probably the same proportion.
Obviously the use of technology is dramatically increased, which is good and bad. It's definitely made research super easy.
There's more awareness of bullying, though sometimes this term gets thrown around too casually.
Students in special ed are no longer openly mocked.
Students are larger. A lot larger.
Dating in an official sense doesn't seem to occur anymore; just seems like FWB (or without benefits) is the typical arrangement.
Seems like students spend a lot more time inside than 20 years ago.
"I cannot imagine..."
When I taught (having a break to do a masters), I never disguised the fact that I was gay and it wasn't a big deal. That, in itself, is notable, I think. We had a few teachers who made no effort to hide their gayness (by which I mean students sometimes ask what we did at the weekend or if we were married or anything and I'd mention my fiancé - normal conversational stuff) and we had a trans woman on staff. This is in a small town with students who generally had a low level of education or were previously kicked out of other places.
I cannot imagine that being the case 20 years ago. The worse homophobic comments I've heard have actually been from older staff but I am ballsy enough to ask them to repeat what they just said in a "try it and we both know you'll end up in a disciplinary" voice. That's absolutely magical.
But yeah, being gay, and to a lesser extent being trans or non-binary, has been hugely normalised in the younger generations.
In 1999, class was super noisy when you came in. Everyone talking and then quieting down when you started teaching. Now, like walking into a funeral home. cell phone silence.
Lawnmower parents, more emphasis on test scores, and more reliance on technology. Less interest in learning and too much interest in social media.
"In regards to..."
In regards to technology, I think "experts" who have been telling us that the students are going to come in very technologically literate don't actually realize WHAT technology students are using. Students are using cell phones, occasionally tablets, and gaming devices like xBox. They don't use computers actively at home.
Massachusetts switched their standardized testing to computer based testing. 100% of our students have no idea how to type in a computer when they come to us in elementary school. So not only do we have to teach them the content for these ridiculous tests, we have to teach them how to type fluently and accurately before third grade so they can type essays on the computer at 8 years old. They said the switch was because students are more technologically savvy then ever before, which is probably partially true, but not in the way that they want.
Been teaching since 2006. Kids are getting worse with computers due to them mostly using smart devices. I'm spending more time teaching things like how to double click and enter a URL than I used to.
Otherwise they seem the same though. It's the parents that are different--they're overextended and their kids are suffering since their parents don't have the spoons to engage in their education as much as they need to.
"She worked in the private sector..."
Their vocabulary and speaking skills are lacking. Why? Well, the speech/language teacher at my school gave her theory. She worked in the private sector over the summer. Parents would drop off their young kids to her and sit in the lobby on their phones (as we all do). Over the summer she would assess these kiddos and most all of them were of normal intelligence and ability. So why are the kiddos severely behind in speaking and language skills? She claims that parents are not SPEAKING enough to their children. We adults spend so much time on our phones and laptops and are not having enough conversations with our children. I have to agree with this. Fifteen/20+ years ago, we were all not glued to our phones. People CONVERSED more with their kids in the past.
"That, and even my smart..."
They're more alike than different, but students of 1999 were more likely to be able to write their own web page in raw HTML, and students in 2019 aren't sure how to make a basic Powerpoint or attach something to an email. I've been doing this long enough that I remember when the professors were baffled by all things computer-ish and the students were impatient with how clueless we were, and now it's reversed.
That, and even my smart students have zero idea how to use an apostrophe. That's something that's shown up in the past five to seven years. I blame autocorrect.
Mental health. Each semester, I refer at least two or three students per class to campus counseling services.
A couple add-on observations:
- Students obviously now feel much more comfortable talking to their professors about their personal issues. I believe in educating the whole student, so I am OK with this. Also, I legitimately believe students have more stress on their plates now than they did 20 years ago. Increased competition, a weakening (North American) economy, climate change anxiety, the impacts of social media on self-worth, etc.
- At least 50% of the students I refer to counseling have already gone. I am impressed at the proactive nature younger people are taking with regards to their mental health. I agree that the stigma around mental health is decreasing, which I support.
"The students are far more prone..."
My students today are way over protected and far more nervous than when I started teaching in 1994. For example I have had several students ( typically girls) who at 12 or 13 have literally never been alone. Then have not been on a bike ride alone or a walk around their block alone. Their parents are so afraid of stranger danger that they are preventing their students from having the necessary alone time to get into trouble and try to solve problems independently.
The students are far more prone to anxiety, depression, cutting and suicidal idealization than previous generations of students. Probably related, but who knows.
Students are afraid of risk and need teacher support and because it is available all the time they kind of expect it. I had a student email me an hour ago because he did not understand a question on his homework. And I responded with some additional info to support this student. On a Sunday morning. Of course I am the one who taught them how to actually email something and I answered the email, so perhaps I am a contributor to this issue. 20 years ago he would have had to figure it out and give his best guess and let the chips fall.
"I was a university advisor..."
I was a university advisor for many years and now I'm an adjunct professor. Students today refuse to use their textbook/take notes to their detriment. They'll turn in papers with applications of definitions/concepts they found by googling as opposed to ones discussed in class or in the text. It's amazing how much research they'll do that goes against what has been taught (and is easily at their fingertips).
"Not a teacher..."
Not a teacher in the strictest sense, but I do a lot of tutoring, and I briefly taught some junior comp eco courses at the local elementary school. The biggest thing I've noticed is an over abundance of "lawnmower" parents—parents who plow down any obstacle in their kids' paths without ever letting them challenge themselves. I had parents who would do their kids' assignments for them because they were "hard," then yell at the instructors when their children weren't learning.
The other big thing is that knowledge of proper grammar seems to have really decreased. I know high school honors students who can barely string together a coherent sentence. I read and edit essays/resumes/research papers sometimes, and they were often borderline illegible because nobody knew basic spelling and punctuation. I had to actually teach people—some of whom were in AP English classes—that you need to capitalize proper nouns and put quotes around dialogue. People also don't know how to use word processors for some reason—loads of students had no idea how to even center text, so they'd just press space until their titles were roughly in the middle of the paper.
"There's some sense..."
There's some sense of entitlement I've noticed. Like "I deserve a better grade" or "I deserve an extension because this week has been hard." Plus some sense of arrogance: "why should I follow your instructions? My way is better." To be fair, sometimes their way is better and I have learned from them in some occasions.
Students lack the tenacity to stick with a task until they figure it out. Most will try once and if they aren't perfect will give up and blame the teacher if the can't do it. I teach physics, 11th grade, they want me to grade each step of each problem before they move forward. And if I don't, some throw temper tantrums.
"On the plus side..."
Today's students don't know how to struggle or persevere through a problem. If they can't do it immediately, they need help.
On the plus side, they know a lot more about each other and are open to diversity. They communicate their emotions.
"I started in higher ed..."
I started in higher ed six years ago and have noticed plenty of functional type differences that may not be immediately obvious. For instance, when I attended college in the 90s email wasn't used as a primary method of communication. It was still seen as a semi-exotic analog to snail mail. Now that it (and other electronic, digital, and wireless means of communication) are in wide use, showing up to see a class cancellation notice on the door isn't seen as a gift from the gods, but as a justification for students to complain that they made a "pointless trip" to the classroom. Instead of being grateful for an extra hour off, many of students will become indignant that they walked/drove "all the way over" to a certain part of campus/a particular building/campus.
I've also noticed what I believe to be more "blur" about what constitutes plagiarism. Obviously, we warn against it, remind students of that warning, and make sure to define what plagiarism is. But, for whatever reason, they think that uncited CTRL-C + CTRL-V does NOT equal plagiarism. It seems as if they think the only way making an exact copy of someone else's work is if it is done by hand...as in literally writing it by hand. If it's type, and especially copied and pasted, it's OK.
And, finally, the belief that having your ear buds in during class (presumably to listen to music) is perfectly normal and acceptable seems to be almost universal. Even though it was 25 years ago, we had the technology to do the same thing. But, barring some bizarre exceptions, we all understood that it wasn't appropriate. Today, a large proportion of students seem to be seriously considering it worthy of an argument if you ask them to take them out (I only ask during tests or if their "content" is spilling out of their ears and into the room. Yes, it happens from time to time.)
Another odd complication that wasn't even possible "back in my day" (LOL...it seems odd to even type that) is the use of laptops to take notes. I don't mind. I even suggest it...with the explicit and heavily emphasized warning that if you're caught watching cat videos, or whatever, I'll ask you to quit using it. I'll never forget the exchange I had with one student who forgot to mute their laptop and started a YouTube video. It loudly interrupted class. I asked them to mute their laptop and reminded the student that I'd ask them to not have their laptop out if they couldn't exert some discipline (in a real world sense, all I was asking was the courtesy of having the volume turned down as I can't see their screens when I'm lecturing). Ten minutes later, the SAME STUDENT has an autoplayed Facebook video create the same situation. They didn't mute the laptop, they just quit looking at what they thought got them caught. So, I asked them to put the laptop away. "How am I supposed to take notes?!" was the indignant reply. I pointed out that that wasn't what she was doing, that class had already been loudly interrupted twice, that I'd already given her a pass on something I'd given a preemptive warning about, and pens and paper still existed. Still, the combination of "how dare you" and "what am I supposed to do now" was all over her face and body language.
Also, on the days when I give a small quiz (intended to encourage attendance and reading of the textbook), make use of a slide show, or have a significant amount of things written on the board, I can't help but notice how many students rely on the cameras on their phones to substitute for "note taking." I've told them that it can't hurt to do so. In fact, I think it is a useful supplement. But, no matter how many times I explain it, I'll have a half dozen students a semester who stare into the distance and/or look like they are sleeping with their eyes open UNTIL the moment I advance a slide, pick up the eraser, etc. All of the sudden, they perk up and their head is on a swivel. They can pick up their phones and snap pictures of the board/boards and/or screen faster than a Old West gunslinger could draw his revolver.
Just some random observations. I think some of what I mentioned is a result of some of my classes being filled with first year freshman who are treating college as being in the 13th grade. That's especially true in the fall semesters. Given that we're in the middle of one, that's probably why all that comes to my mind so easily now. Hahaha!
Some years ago, I had to advise a college friend to stop chasing the girl he was interested in at the time. She'd already turned him down. Explicitly. At least two or three times.
He wouldn't take no for an answer and didn't see anything wrong with his behavior.
Perhaps he'd seen too many movies where the guy eventually breaks through the girl's defenses and essentially coerces her into going out with him?
Sadly, this is behavior that is tolerated and yes, normalized in our society.
People were keen to share other observations after Redditor EnoughSandwich_7057 asked the online community,
"What's toxic behavior that's considered socially acceptable?"
"Trying to make people..."
"Trying to make people drink/smoke or drink/smoke more when they have firmly declined the offer."
This is a big one that can have disastrous consequences. I am thankful I got a bunch of terrible nights out drinking out of my system by my early twenties.
Being drunk to the point that you're incoherent is horrible.
"I hate the whole prank thing..."
"I hate the whole prank thing, especially when it's done for likes. Scaring or humiliating people for attention just means you are a bad person."
I don't watch any of those videos and I don't understand what people see in them.
"Overworking yourself and then collectively judging others who don't do the same."
I had a coworker like that once, and she was a (minor) reason why I ended up leaving one job, but still a reason nonetheless.
"Taking your work with you..."
"Taking your work with you on vacation. I mean if you enjoy working then that's your thing, but I get sick of people like going through paperwork and having meetings while on vacation. Like dude, stop."
"Looking down on someone..."
"Looking down on someone because of their job."
When people say things like, "If fast food workers deserve $15 an hour..." that says a lot.
"Deliberately misunderstanding what someone is saying so as to make it easier to argue with them."
"People tend to give drunk people..."
"People tend to give drunk people misbehaving a pass if they regularly do it, 'Oh don't mind Tom, he's just drunk.' That just reinforces that toxic behavior."
You can say that again. How many times have you run into bad behavior like this while out and about, perhaps in a bar? It's not fun.
"The fact that we reward..."
"The fact that we reward customers for being wrong. The number of times my old manager would be so exhausted from arguing over the cost of a carton of milk with a customer that she would just give it to them is appalling."
"It reinforces this mentality because even if the customer KNOWS they're wrong they don't care because they will still win."
Annnnd this is why I don't miss retail. I'm fine where I am.
"Verbally abusing minimum wage employees who don't make the rules. If I could change the laws tomorrow I'd encourage businesses to ban pieces of garbage like these who can't operate in public."
"I'm here to do a job..."
"Toxic workplace behavior needs to be top of the list. I'm here to do a job and go home, not be harassed because you don't like some aspect of my personality. Managers who let this slide should be held personally liable."
When you stop and think about it, you realize we live in an imperfect society. It's astounding that some people just tolerate bad behavior and, in many cases, don't even see anything wrong with it.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Parents make mistakes. We want to believe that parents are doing there very best to raise their kids, but sometimes they do more harm than good.
Research into childhood trauma didn't actually begin until the 1970s, so we don't have as much knowledge about our mental health as adults as we might like.
However, a study that followed 1,420 from 1992 to 2015 found conclusive results about childhood trauma:
"'It is a myth to believe that childhood trauma is a rare experience that only affects few,' the researchers say."
"Rather, their population sample suggests, 'it is a normative experience—it affects the majority of children at some point.'"
"A surprising 60 percent of those in the study were exposed to at least one trauma by age 16. Over 30 percent were exposed to multiple traumatic events."
Not all of the things our parents do that were not so helpful technically classify as trauma, but it definitely has an effect on us as we get older.
Redditor Gooncookies asked:
"What could your parents have done better when raising you?"
Here's some of the ways that these Redditor's parents could have done better.
Rules to maintain purity.
"Would've been nice if my dad hadn't convinced me I had to behave in certain ways to maintain my innocence and purity."
"Catholic? I can relate."
"Nope. He's an atheist. He's actually extremely upset that I practice my (non Christian) religion. He just has some really weird ideas about having female children. Like, if I wore spaghetti straps when I was a child he'd say it was like he was living in a brothel."
Becoming afraid of failure.
"Encourage me to do more. I was never pushed to do anything. I mean, I get why some athletes are like 'my parents pushed me too hard where I hated it.' But I was never encouraged to go out for it try anything new. I played little league baseball and decided I thought it was a good idea to try and be a pitcher. I told my mom, but got the response along the lines of 'That's a hard position, and the whole game kind of rides on you, and if you mess up, everyone is going to blame you.' As a 37 year old I now see how that kind of stuff screwed my self esteem up and why I'm so afraid of failure as an adult."
"Same here. Also when I wanted to try anything new my mom was like 'But that's too hard for you, are you really sure you wanna do this? I don't think that you want nor can.' What's even worse than just forbidding, in this way the kid won't 'protest doing it' and get too low self esteem to do it."
"I'm really happy now that I overcame this after I moved out. I started doing all those things I wanted to do as a kid and I freaking love it (but kinda hate the fact that I haven't started earlier)."
"But even if I have a good relationship to my mom I hide a lot of things I do from her, since she still does the same and tries to convince me that I actually don't wanna do what ever I planned."
"But dear mom, sometimes you just need to try new things. if it wont work out who cares!? Even got a tattoo with 'What if I fall? Honey what if you fly?' to remind me if I should ever forget. (And no, my mum doesn't know about it)."
We're allowed to feel our emotions.
"Allow me to express my emotions, treat me like an actually person, actually interact with me instead of just ignoring me and them just telling me to kill myself."
"Wow. I'm so sorry. I think a lot of parents forget that their children are actually human beings."
"Its okay. I'm trying to work through some of that trauma, its easier said than done."
Interest is nice.
"They could have shown more of an interest in my mental health and education."
"I didn't get help for my anxiety until after college and it's so frustrating to hear my parents acknowledge I was an anxious child yet nothing was done. I can look back and see how many things could have gone better for me."
"I had diagnosed ADHD and my mom thought that the meds made my brother and I zombies and decided she wanted us to just be kids. My parents never looked into any kind of non-medication help for my ADHD."
"I'll always wonder what school would've been like if I had the tools to properly manage it."
"I got an MFA, but I feel my entire life has been a whole lot of masking."
I also have comorbid sleep/circadian rhythm disorder which they also never did anything about. Going to the doctor for anything, physical or mental, was not prioritized. But, my parents definitely weren't well off financially, so I imagine that that was the biggest contributor."
Kids deserve autonomy.
"Taught me to question adults and trust myself."
"They thought they were doing the best thing by teaching my sister and I 'All adults are always right and you obey them no matter what,' but it made me a dysfunctional employee and vulnerable to abusive relationships."
"The good news is it can be unlearned. But I hope this new generation will teach our kids to assert themselves respectfully instead of blind obedience."
Why keep up the charade?
"My parents are great people who did a good job raising me, but there was one weird thing they did that still kind of annoys to this day (and I'm 44.)"
"Once I got old enough to figure out that things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren't real they still wouldn't admit it for some reason; I think it was more my mom and my dad just went along with her. But even when I became a teenager and all my siblings were teenagers it's like they still thought it was funny and cute to keep pretending that Santa Claus was real. I don't know why."
"They missed the point of that sort of thing. It's a rite of passage for children to eventually get old enough to figure out that this sort of thing isn't real and for the parents to let them in on it. I was denied that and it still bugs me for some reason."
"I could imagine that being infuriating at 14-15 years old. At that age you're wanting to be seen as more of an adult and I can imagine them not acknowledging Santa as a way of not welcoming me into adulthood/making me feel like a little kid."
Yea that's weird. When I got older and looked back I realized that my folks never flat out said Santa was real. My mom would say something like, 'He's only real if you believe in him,' so she never technically lied to me. Maybe it stems from that, they don't want to admit they lied to you?"
"That could be, but I think it was more a matter of my parents (again, my mom especially) thinking that doing the whole Santa Claus thing on Christmas morning, and Easter Bunny thing on Easter was fun and something that she just didn't want to let go of when my sisters and I got older."
Healthy criticism is necessary sometimes.
"They lacked discipline and parental authority which led us to treat them like our friends, disrespect them. We also couldn't be academically successful because they didn't help us develop a healthy studying habit."
"Kids like it when a parent tells them what to do (I mean, parenting is about teaching a kid what to do, if you just leave it like that, it won't learn anything), help them when they can't get through it, never give negative criticism, but constructive criticism when they fail and appreciate them when they succeed."
"Negative criticism: this type only tells them what is wrong. e.g. 'you can't do this,' 'you are doing this badly.'"
"Constructive criticism: this type gives them an insight into what should they do, you can add what is lacking if necessary. e.g. '[...] is not good behaviour, please do [...] next time, then you would succeed,' 'it looks ok (if it is badly done, then don't say this), but if you do [...] it'd be better / [...] is the correct way.'"
Whatever the situation was with your parents or caretakers, there are ways to heal from this trauma.
Psychology Today says we need to process our emotions, especially if we were taught not to when we were children.
It's important that we break these generational curses.
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Breaking up is something that never gets easier.
That kind of thinking, however, does little to keep us from feeling dejected for days on end.
Curious to hear from heartbroken strangers on the internet, Redditor whitecheeks-24 asked:
What's your sad love story?
Death never comes at the right time.
A Difficult Decision
"The love of my life and soulmate who I was married to for 20 years and together for 24 passed away about 8 months ago. I feel alone and empty inside. I have nobody to love or to love me. My life is an empty waste of space now."
"I took her off of life support because I know that's what she wanted and I had to respect her wishes but I sometimes wish I was a little more greedy. I just want my doll face back."
"I am so sorry. I had to do the same thing with my love, married 40 years. It's been 28 months and I'm sinking deeper into despair. We had so many plans, did everything together, and I am honestly lost without him. I send you warmest regards."
The Shy Admirer
"I was a shy teenager, in love with a cute neighbor. His sister and my mom were friends. He died in a car accident. Nobody knew how I felt about him. I overheard his sister tell my mom that he was in love with me. We never got to share our feelings with each other."
"I think a guy I found on match.com died but I have no way of knowing. We had only been dating for 2 or 3 months and we were taking things slow. Then he got sick..tumors in his back and he needed surgery. We still hung out but he was in a lot of pain."
"At the time I was frustrated because I felt he was pushing me away. I just adored him and he was sending mixed messages. Now looking back.. I'm thinking he was just trying to survive. He went in for surgery and I never heard from him again. I didn't know his family and he didn't have social media."
"My mom would check the obituaries in the paper for me and I just always wondered. I hope he didn't know how to end things and just felt this was easier. It's been 5 years and I have a family of my own now but Michael..I hope you're okay."
It's hard for these Redditors to accept the fact their love was never meant to be.
Long Distance Fizzle
"I had to leave my first boyfriend behind because I moved out of state and didn't even get to say goodbye because I didn't know we were moving when I left. We left to see my aunt who had been traveling and was diagnosis with brain cancer in another state, she was too sick to travel home so they rented a house and stayed there essentially until she passed away."
"My mom liked the area better than my hometown tho so we ended up staying, our stuff was shipped to us so I never got to say goodbye to my boyfriend in person."
"We kept in contact for a couple years but being 16 and 18, it wasn't easy for me to just pack up and head back to move in somewhere with him. We both knew we weren't ready for that so we tried our best to keep the long distance romance going."
"Eventually he messaged me one day and told me that he can't do it anymore and he didn't want to hear from me again because he couldn't handle it."
"When I was in my early 20s, I've had a love at first sight experience. It completely broke me. He actually was into me too, but not in love like I was."
"I had never had a boyfriend before and I got so excited, I came in like a wrecking ball to cite a great poet. Long story short, I scared him off, he broke up, I couldn't get him out of my head and couldn't imagine a world without him, so I tried to kill myself."
"Though let me reassure you all, it's been years and I'm over him (as long as I don't see him IRL, I just know that I'd fall back in the spiral), I even had a long-term relationship after him."
Tough Reality Check
"I got left out of a 5 year relationship. I got injured, lost my job, and had to go take care of my dying mom. I was not in a good way. I come back from the ER and she calls our entire relationship off because I was not 'passionate' any longer. Right."
"My entire life fell apart. Lost the house we had gone in on. Lost the dog we had gotten together. And I lost my girl. She was my bestfriend, my first love."
"Huge reality check but at least I'm only 22. I'm glad I saw her true colors when things went bad. Easy to stand by someone when times are good. Saddest part is I would take her back in an instant. I lost a piece of my soul with her."
Some of the biggest heartbreaks come when someone shows their true colors.
"FOUND OUT MY BOYFRIEND WAS MARRIED WITH KIDS ON THE INTERNET. I was happy and in love for two years. One day while doing my research for a client work, I come across a research paper. The research paper matched what I was looking for, scrolling through it, I realized the owner had some names as my boyfriend."
"But this time he acknowledges his wife and two children for being patient with him as he was busy doing the thesis. I got curious, I took a screenshot and sent him a picture and asked if it's his paper."
"Also, I asked if it's true that he has two kids and a wife and he why didn't tell me. He answered 'DOES IT MATTER '. That was the end of my relationship. Never talked about it, never told any soul what happened."
"I finally got with my best friend and soul mate. He knows more about me then anyone and knows what I've been put thru my whole life. When we first got together he promised he would never do anything to me that others have."
"One year later he cheated, lied and and broke my spirit. Something i never thought was possible with me, yet he accomplished it. It's been a year since i left him and he still tries to get back into my life. The sad part is I know he doesn't love me and I can't stop loving him."
"After four years of supporting my lover through his depression and alcoholism, he announced tonight that he is leaving me. I'm pretty depressed."
A Devious Scheme
"Wife moves our small family across the country for a promotion at her company. When we arrive and settle into our house, she leaves me for her boss."
"The move was a scheme for her boss to leave his wife and kids, and for her to leave me, while being able to be close to all their children. So I unknowingly left my career, family and friends behind to move to a state where I don't know anyone so she could be with her new guy."
Unexpected tragedy will always be, to me, the saddest break up story.
A co-worker of mine used to date a young man who was a patron at the store where we both worked.
Their budding romance was new and exciting and absolutely adorable to watch.
He told me he planned to propose to her before he went away on a family vacation, but sadly, my friend never got the proposal. The guy drowned in a horrible boating accident during his trip.
Although my friend is now happily married with two kids, I wonder if she still thinks about him.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/Want to "know" more?
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On the outside, so many professions and careers look glamorous, financially enticing, and fun.
Often we sit back in our own lives and wallow in our dead-end jobs with that "wish I could do that for a living mentality!"
But if you look a little closer or, much like Dorothy Gale in OZ, just wait for a Toto to push the curtain back, you'll see that a lot more is going on behind the scenes.
And the shenanigans we don't see, make all that fun... evaporate.
So many careers and high power industries are built on a foundation of lies, backstabbing, and stress. And not in that fun "Dynasty" way.
That quiet, dead-end gig may not be so bad after all.
Redditor MethodicallyDeep wanted hear all the tea about certain careers, by asking:
What is a secret in your industry that should be talked about?
I swear if every single person was forced to work in the hospitality industry for at least one month in their life, y'all would be beside yourselves. The amount of craziness and laziness could keep you eating at home for every meal until death.
Play Bigmartin scorsese casino GIFGiphy
"Casino dealers really do want the players to win. We don't work for the house. We get paid crap hourly rates and rely on tips. Unless the player is super nice they only to tip if they win so we really do want you to win." ~ thedevilsgame
Not the Good Stuff...
"That you can take a gallon of paint and give it a different label, price point, and warranty depending on the store it is sold in." ~ big_d_usernametaken
"My professor told me the same thing. He was a job coach and erased the due dates on food products with I believe acetone or some product in nail polish remover."
"Would slap a new date on it, and the food would get shipped to poorer neighborhoods. That crap blew my mind." ~ Additional_Bar_2013
"Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That if everyone being charged with a crime insisted on it going to trial, no plea bargaining, the system would crash." ~ mikenyle
"When I was a juror, the judge also commented before everything started that trial by jury is the only thing causing people to plea bargain and "getting the system moving."
"Many trials sit in limbo for years, and it's only the threat of "Oh crap, I may actually go to jail."
"That really negotiations start. That's exactly what happened in my case - jurors got selected, and that afternoon (after being 2 years in the system), the defendant pleads out." ~ zealeus
"Safety. It's not really about your health and well being. It's about saving the company money from medical expenses, lost time, lawyer costs, etc. Very rarely does your company actually give 2 craps about you, no matter how much they preach safety, they just don't want to pay if you get hurt/killed." ~ WhenThePiecesFit
"pen to paper"New Girl I Give Up GIFGiphy
"TV/screenwriter here. If you're established and well connected, it's very easy to coast and be a TV writer for YEARS and do very little actual writing. Most of TV writing is just talking in a room with other writers spitballing."
"This is why there's so many old, unfunny dudes still "writing" on TV shows. They're hired by their friends and in TV, a lot writers don't actually do much "pen to paper" writing. Plus everything gets rewritten to death." ~ GardenChic
So much mess. Someone hire me to write for TV. Why are you just giving away jobs to unqualified people? Life is so unfair. This list makes me mad. Let's continue...
Carbon Copiesmail GIF by RabbidsGiphy
"I work in the print industry, we print cheques for companies and there is so little security involved in hiring, or keeping the materials secure, or running the actual work, or shipping the work to customers. I'm shocked we haven't had a problem with stolen cheques." ~ Jeff_Cunningham
"Advertising. I keep reading that advertising is leading people to be more woke, or multicultural. Companies don't lead, they follow. They do lots of research and know where the future markets are."
"I worked for a very conservative global brand. 5 years before gay marriage became legal, they told us it would happen and we needed to start targeting the LBGTQ community." ~ leftside72
"Visa agent and I've seen people be refused because the manager didn't like their face." ~ Ok_Albatross9395
"Omg this happened to my sister. She couldn't start her semester in time because she kept being refused a visa even though she fulfilled all conditions."
"Finally my parents found a "connection" in embassy to see what's going on; turns out someone just didn't like her when she came to give her papers the first time. I never knew if I can fully believe that story." ~ animal7239
So much typing...
"I'm a writer, among other things. I used to ghostwrite. You'd be amazed how many popular books are partly or fully ghostwritten. I specialised in taking people's crappy first drafts and rewriting them so they were actually good. Not "good" according to people's taste, which is subjective."
"But objectively better in the sense of being properly spelled, not having gaping plot holes, making sure characters were consistent. By the time I was done there was often very little left of the draft the "writer" had created, but there was a marketable product."
"Pisses me off no end when I see all the bull the publishing industry comes out with about how writers submitting a manuscript must make sure it's perfect because only excellence will get you anywhere."
"I don't know how they can say that and still sleep at night, knowing full well that they're hiring people like me to do large-scale rewrites (or to take a half-baked plot and create a draft from scratch)." ~ iwillckingbiteyou
ThievesJoseline Hernandez Facepalm GIFGiphy
"I work in payroll. The number of payroll reports I see where people are conned out of their overtime is saddening."
"Also, taxes paid by a business shouldn't actively dissuade them from paying employees less. The system shouldn't be based on paying a percentage of employee salary in taxes (FICA, Workers Comp), in other words." ~ ThongofSekhmet
I think some investigations need to be launched. I always knew payroll departments were running a scam. Too many people are being ripped off. Time to expose some people.
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