Teaching is by no means an easy job––it's grossly under-appreciated, in fact.
Think of how observant teachers are, too. They're the experts, and they've likely noticed a palpable difference between the students of today and the students of yesteryear.
Gather 'round, one and all, and prepare to be schooled thanks to Redditor ihaveacrazyfamoly, who asked the online community:
"There has been a definite move..."
"Computer Science teacher here. There has been a definite move over time from trying to learn how to do something towards trying to find a ready made answer. Whenever I set my students an assignment, we discuss what they should do if they get stuck - typically involving re-reading notes, looking at the resources they've been given, looking at prior work, perhaps finally using web based resources. Students have always (as long as the web has been a thing) skipped straight to the last one, but the subtle change is rather than searching for HOW to do something, most now just search for a fully formed complete answer which they can copy and hand in."
"I've been a teacher..."
"I've been a teacher for 15 years and one thing I've noticed is that in recent years the "breakfast club" stereotypes like jocks, nerds, etc. seem to be falling by the wayside and kids seem to be hidden under many layers of irony."
"I've been teaching high school..."
"I've been teaching high school since 1993."
""Students are less homophobic by a long shot, at least where I've been. There is still homophobia but they can't be open about it."
Students talk about things like depression and mental illness more; whether the prevalence rate for things like depression actually is higher or not I don't know, but it's more talked about."
"Attitudes toward school are about the same. Hard workers, average workers, and slackers are still probably the same proportion."
"Obviously the use of technology is dramatically increased, which is good and bad. It's definitely made research super easy."
"There's more awareness of bullying, though sometimes this term gets thrown around too casually."
"Students in special ed are no longer openly mocked.
"Students are larger. A lot larger.""
"Dating in an official sense doesn't seem to occur anymore; just seems like FWB (or without benefits) is the typical arrangement.
"Seems like students spend a lot more time inside than 20 years ago.""
"I cannot imagine..."
"When I taught (having a break to do a masters), I never disguised the fact that I was gay and it wasn't a big deal. That, in itself, is notable, I think. We had a few teachers who made no effort to hide their gayness (by which I mean students sometimes ask what we did at the weekend or if we were married or anything and I'd mention my fiancé - normal conversational stuff) and we had a trans woman on staff. This is in a small town with students who generally had a low level of education or were previously kicked out of other places."
"I cannot imagine that being the case 20 years ago. The worse homophobic comments I've heard have actually been from older staff but I am ballsy enough to ask them to repeat what they just said in a "try it and we both know you'll end up in a disciplinary" voice. That's absolutely magical."
"But yeah, being gay, and to a lesser extent being trans or non-binary, has been hugely normalised in the younger generations."
"In 1999, class was super noisy when you came in. Everyone talking and then quieting down when you started teaching. Now, like walking into a funeral home. cell phone silence."
"Lawnmower parents, more emphasis on test scores, and more reliance on technology. Less interest in learning and too much interest in social media."
"In regards to..."
"In regards to technology, I think "experts" who have been telling us that the students are going to come in very technologically literate don't actually realize WHAT technology students are using. Students are using cell phones, occasionally tablets, and gaming devices like xBox. They don't use computers actively at home."
"Massachusetts switched their standardized testing to computer based testing. 100% of our students have no idea how to type in a computer when they come to us in elementary school. So not only do we have to teach them the content for these ridiculous tests, we have to teach them how to type fluently and accurately before third grade so they can type essays on the computer at 8 years old. They said the switch was because students are more technologically savvy then ever before, which is probably partially true, but not in the way that they want."
"Been teaching since 2006. Kids are getting worse with computers due to them mostly using smart devices. I'm spending more time teaching things like how to double click and enter a URL than I used to."
"Otherwise they seem the same though. It's the parents that are different--they're overextended and their kids are suffering since their parents don't have the spoons to engage in their education as much as they need to."
"She worked in the private sector..."
"Their vocabulary and speaking skills are lacking. Why? Well, the speech/language teacher at my school gave her theory. She worked in the private sector over the summer. Parents would drop off their young kids to her and sit in the lobby on their phones (as we all do). Over the summer she would assess these kiddos and most all of them were of normal intelligence and ability. So why are the kiddos severely behind in speaking and language skills? She claims that parents are not SPEAKING enough to their children. We adults spend so much time on our phones and laptops and are not having enough conversations with our children. I have to agree with this. Fifteen/20+ years ago, we were all not glued to our phones. People CONVERSED more with their kids in the past."
"That, and even my smart..."
"They're more alike than different, but students of 1999 were more likely to be able to write their own web page in raw HTML, and students in 2019 aren't sure how to make a basic Powerpoint or attach something to an email. I've been doing this long enough that I remember when the professors were baffled by all things computer-ish and the students were impatient with how clueless we were, and now it's reversed."
"That, and even my smart students have zero idea how to use an apostrophe. That's something that's shown up in the past five to seven years. I blame autocorrect."
"Mental health. Each semester, I refer at least two or three students per class to campus counseling services."
"A couple add-on observations:"
"- Students obviously now feel much more comfortable talking to their professors about their personal issues. I believe in educating the whole student, so I am OK with this. Also, I legitimately believe students have more stress on their plates now than they did 20 years ago. Increased competition, a weakening (North American) economy, climate change anxiety, the impacts of social media on self-worth, etc."
"- At least 50% of the students I refer to counseling have already gone. I am impressed at the proactive nature younger people are taking with regards to their mental health. I agree that the stigma around mental health is decreasing, which I support."
"The students are far more prone..."
"My students today are way over protected and far more nervous than when I started teaching in 1994. For example I have had several students ( typically girls) who at 12 or 13 have literally never been alone. Then have not been on a bike ride alone or a walk around their block alone. Their parents are so afraid of stranger danger that they are preventing their students from having the necessary alone time to get into trouble and try to solve problems independently."
"The students are far more prone to anxiety, depression, cutting and suicidal idealization than previous generations of students. Probably related, but who knows."
"Students are afraid of risk and need teacher support and because it is available all the time they kind of expect it. I had a student email me an hour ago because he did not understand a question on his homework. And I responded with some additional info to support this student. On a Sunday morning. Of course I am the one who taught them how to actually email something and I answered the email, so perhaps I am a contributor to this issue. 20 years ago he would have had to figure it out and give his best guess and let the chips fall.""
"I was a university advisor..."
"I was a university advisor for many years and now I'm an adjunct professor. Students today refuse to use their textbook/take notes to their detriment. They'll turn in papers with applications of definitions/concepts they found by googling as opposed to ones discussed in class or in the text. It's amazing how much research they'll do that goes against what has been taught (and is easily at their fingertips)."
"Not a teacher..."
"Not a teacher in the strictest sense, but I do a lot of tutoring, and I briefly taught some junior comp eco courses at the local elementary school. The biggest thing I've noticed is an over abundance of "lawnmower" parents—parents who plow down any obstacle in their kids' paths without ever letting them challenge themselves. I had parents who would do their kids' assignments for them because they were "hard," then yell at the instructors when their children weren't learning."
"The other big thing is that knowledge of proper grammar seems to have really decreased. I know high school honors students who can barely string together a coherent sentence. I read and edit essays/resumes/research papers sometimes, and they were often borderline illegible because nobody knew basic spelling and punctuation. I had to actually teach people—some of whom were in AP English classes—that you need to capitalize proper nouns and put quotes around dialogue. People also don't know how to use word processors for some reason—loads of students had no idea how to even center text, so they'd just press space until their titles were roughly in the middle of the paper."
"There's some sense..."
"There's some sense of entitlement I've noticed. Like "I deserve a better grade" or "I deserve an extension because this week has been hard." Plus some sense of arrogance: "why should I follow your instructions? My way is better." To be fair, sometimes their way is better and I have learned from them in some occasions."
"Students lack the tenacity to stick with a task until they figure it out. Most will try once and if they aren't perfect will give up and blame the teacher if the can't do it. I teach physics, 11th grade, they want me to grade each step of each problem before they move forward. And if I don't, some throw temper tantrums."
"On the plus side..."
"Today's students don't know how to struggle or persevere through a problem. If they can't do it immediately, they need help."
On the plus side, they know a lot more about each other and are open to diversity. They communicate their emotions."
"I started in higher ed..."
"I started in higher ed six years ago and have noticed plenty of functional type differences that may not be immediately obvious. For instance, when I attended college in the 90s email wasn't used as a primary method of communication. It was still seen as a semi-exotic analog to snail mail. Now that it (and other electronic, digital, and wireless means of communication) are in wide use, showing up to see a class cancellation notice on the door isn't seen as a gift from the gods, but as a justification for students to complain that they made a "pointless trip" to the classroom. Instead of being grateful for an extra hour off, many of students will become indignant that they walked/drove "all the way over" to a certain part of campus/a particular building/campus."
"I've also noticed what I believe to be more "blur" about what constitutes plagiarism. Obviously, we warn against it, remind students of that warning, and make sure to define what plagiarism is. But, for whatever reason, they think that uncited CTRL-C + CTRL-V does NOT equal plagiarism. It seems as if they think the only way making an exact copy of someone else's work is if it is done by hand...as in literally writing it by hand. If it's type, and especially copied and pasted, it's OK."
"And, finally, the belief that having your ear buds in during class (presumably to listen to music) is perfectly normal and acceptable seems to be almost universal. Even though it was 25 years ago, we had the technology to do the same thing. But, barring some bizarre exceptions, we all understood that it wasn't appropriate. Today, a large proportion of students seem to be seriously considering it worthy of an argument if you ask them to take them out (I only ask during tests or if their "content" is spilling out of their ears and into the room. Yes, it happens from time to time.)"
"Another odd complication that wasn't even possible "back in my day" (LOL...it seems odd to even type that) is the use of laptops to take notes. I don't mind. I even suggest it...with the explicit and heavily emphasized warning that if you're caught watching cat videos, or whatever, I'll ask you to quit using it. I'll never forget the exchange I had with one student who forgot to mute their laptop and started a YouTube video. It loudly interrupted class. I asked them to mute their laptop and reminded the student that I'd ask them to not have their laptop out if they couldn't exert some discipline (in a real world sense, all I was asking was the courtesy of having the volume turned down as I can't see their screens when I'm lecturing). Ten minutes later, the SAME STUDENT has an autoplayed Facebook video create the same situation. They didn't mute the laptop, they just quit looking at what they thought got them caught. So, I asked them to put the laptop away. "How am I supposed to take notes?!" was the indignant reply. I pointed out that that wasn't what she was doing, that class had already been loudly interrupted twice, that I'd already given her a pass on something I'd given a preemptive warning about, and pens and paper still existed. Still, the combination of "how dare you" and "what am I supposed to do now" was all over her face and body language."
"Also, on the days when I give a small quiz (intended to encourage attendance and reading of the textbook), make use of a slide show, or have a significant amount of things written on the board, I can't help but notice how many students rely on the cameras on their phones to substitute for "note taking." I've told them that it can't hurt to do so. In fact, I think it is a useful supplement. But, no matter how many times I explain it, I'll have a half dozen students a semester who stare into the distance and/or look like they are sleeping with their eyes open UNTIL the moment I advance a slide, pick up the eraser, etc. All of the sudden, they perk up and their head is on a swivel. They can pick up their phones and snap pictures of the board/boards and/or screen faster than a Old West gunslinger could draw his revolver."
"Just some random observations. I think some of what I mentioned is a result of some of my classes being filled with first year freshman who are treating college as being in the 13th grade. That's especially true in the fall semesters. Given that we're in the middle of one, that's probably why all that comes to my mind so easily now. Hahaha!"
There are quite some differences here. Do you have any thing to add? Let us know in the comment section!
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The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.