Teachers Explain How They Know If A Student Absolutely Hates Them
Image by Steve Riot from Pixabay

Teachers have a difficult job. It's a lot easier when they have good students who care about the material and participate regularly. But what happens when they realize a student hates them or just has it out for them? Things get shaky, right?

After Redditor subtoopew asked the online community, "Teachers, how can you tell if a student dislikes you?" teachers weighed in with their observations.


"It's usually pretty obvious..."

It's usually pretty obvious, but sometimes they can surprise you. I once had a student scowl at me every time he walked in. I tried to remain cordial, but he'd grunt and snap any time I spoke to him. He turned work in infrequently and was generally sullen.

Fast forward 8 months, this kid starts walking towards my class on teacher appreciation day with a giant gift-basket of stuff that I like. He slams it down on my desk and growls in a way that was totally contrary to his words "you're my favorite teacher!"

So like, you never really know.

Exandrus

"In elementary school..."

In elementary school, it's really easy because they will just tell you straight to your face. I have never met anyone more straightforward, or brutally honest, than a fourth-grader...

Unlikely_Giraffe22

"It's funny how they think..."

7th to 12th grade teacher here. Children are usually pretty open about it, BUT don't take it personal. They dont have strong feelings about you if you´re not mistreating them. The "smart" ones might try to make fun of you behind your back, but they´re doing that to each other as well. Establishing some kind of dominance or position is normal group behavior.

It´s funny how they think that you dont notice their behaviour. Most children actually have no problems with the teacher, but the way and the content of what you´re teaching....

VVnd

"You find out..."

Grad school instructor here. You find out a month after the semester ends when you get your Qualtrics report and figure out who is the hater based on their writing style.

PwincessButtahcup

"They're usually pretty obvious..."

They're usually pretty obvious/blatant about it.

Had a girl once in a pretty rough school who decided it would be a good idea to roll up a piece of paper and light it like a cigarette. In the middle of class. I was so shocked I just told her to leave and pointed at the door. So she came straight up to me, dropped the makeshift cigarette in front of my face, and then said "There's only 2 minutes left in class." To say I was seething is an understatement.

WaterEarthFireWind

"I was pretty honest..."

I was pretty honest with my students, and they usually returned the courtesy. And it is a courtesy to hear "I just don't like your personality dude." Because, if you can put your ego to one side, they just told you where the problem is and you can use that to help fix it so they can get their English credits on time. You either stop doing the stuff that makes them hate you if possible, or you find them a new English teacher and say "These are the dos and don'ts."

Teenagers are really complicated, but if you let them know that they aren't going to be in trouble for disagreeing with or even disliking you, and you don't treat them like 5 year olds, it makes s*** a lot simpler.

ExtremelyLongButtock

"When the girls..."

Former English as a second language teacher here. When the girls start chattering and snickering in their native language saying "omg is she pregnant!?" thinking I couldn't understand them. "No my dears, I just got fat."

wenisforever

"They'll straight up..."

Middle school teacher. They'll straight up tell you. Lots of eye rolls, disrespect...the more disrespectful they are, the kinder I am to them. It's not worth taking it personally.

HowBlueHerEyesCanBe

"Some will 

Some will display antecedent behaviours, some will refuse work, and some will truant. If you are lucky, they will threaten to bash your skull in.

He didn't. He was all talk.

StarlinsCock

"I student taught..."

Got a good story for this.

I student taught 6th grade. I took a kid's phone away one day. The next day after he sat down he called me over.

"Mr. Churchill, I decided I don't like you. I don't want you to be a teacher anymore. So I'm gonna fail this class so they know you're a bad teacher."

Sometimes they just choose to be blunt.

TakeMeToChurchill

"I was pretty honest..."

I was pretty honest with my students, and they usually returned the courtesy. And it is a courtesy to hear "I just don't like your personality dude." Because, if you can put your ego to one side, they just told you where the problem is and you can use that to help fix it so they can get their English credits on time. You either stop doing the stuff that makes them hate you if possible, or you find them a new English teacher and say "These are the dos and don'ts."

Teenagers are really complicated, but if you let them know that they aren't going to be in trouble for disagreeing with or even disliking you, and you don't treat them like 5 year olds, it makes shit a lot simpler.

extremelylongbuttock

"When the girls start chattering..."

Former English as a second language teacher here. When the girls start chattering and snickering in their native language saying "omg is she pregnant!?" thinking I couldn't understand them. "No my dears, I just got fat."

wenisforever

"He didn't."

Some will display antecedent behaviours, some will refuse work, and some will truant. If you are lucky, they will threaten to bash your skull in.

He didn't. He was all talk.

starlinscock

"They care enough..."

I work with special needs students. I have kids who tell me that they hate my guts on a daily basis. Kids who swear at me, throw things at me, break my things, and have even tried to attack me. Those are the kids who cry their eyes out when summer roles around. Those are the kids who love me the most. They care enough to let the ugly side out. The ones who don't like me are the ones that sit there quietly and do what I tell them.

Swoopdoza

"They usually tell everyone..."

A few have flat-out told me. They usually tell everyone but you if they like you (their parents, their counselors, other teachers).

finkiusmaximus

"I can sometimes tell..."

I've been a teacher for more than 30 years now, and I cannot tell if a student dislikes me. I can sometimes tell if one likes me because he or she contacts me needlessly or, as happens once every couple of years, directly tells me, but not if one dislikes me.

If I cared more, I might be able to tell with some students, but I don't. My concern is whether the students are learning or not.

dougwray

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