It is no secret that the education system, especially in the USA, is broken and neglected.
Kids are held to one standard of greatness while coming from uneven backgrounds. Standardized tests crush students' hopes and dreams and make them believe they are less-than on a daily basis.
Teachers aren't even required to care about teaching to teach. Schools are understaffed, under-funded, and sad.
Here were some of those answers.
Failure Is An Important Tool
Students should be allowed to fail.
Absolutely. You can't learn from your mistakes if they're never seen as mistakes.
Destroying Good Teachers
My mom is a high school teacher in the US. The biggest problem (at least in her school district) is the administration not focusing on the students, and pushing for making the district look good. So to answer the question: I would add more checks and balances to the district administration to force them to do what is best for the students.
A few years back, the board in my mom's district decreased teacher funding, but the superintendent's salary got a big boost which put him over $200k.
Half the actual course material has to be tossed so half the year can be used to teach students how to pass the standardized tests.
The past few years they have been having an issue with the administration forcing the teachers to pass the students to make the district numbers better. I'm not talking about bumping up a 60 to a 70, I'm talking about passing students who have not turned in a single assignment the entire year and turn in all their tests blank.
The current Corona rules for remote schooling are as follows: If they made contact with the teacher at some point, minimum grade of 70. Take the best score out of the 2 halves of the year (students use this to do no work in the second semester since they passed the first semester).
Every year has been getting worse according to her. More and more high school seniors can't do basic multiplication. More students getting aggressive and yelling at teachers mid class and not being held responsible. I should mention, this is not a low income town, it is full of middle and upper middle families.
My mom loves teaching, she has been doing it for over 30 years. But it has gotten to the point where she just wants to retire asap so she can escape the drama.
Rights Out The Window
I'm only a substitute teacher, so I'm not sure if my opinion is relevant, but here it is:
For classes that have special education students in them for mainstreaming, I'd make it mandatory that a para-educational professional (aide) be assigned to that student, and the teacher should receive an extra stipend for each of those students that they have in the class. Because while it can be rewarding to teach such students, it is a lot of extra work, and should be compensated.
I'd also consider more intervention for kids who act up in class. I'm referring to kids who actively don't want to learn, and are disrupting class by choice on a continual basis -- I'm NOT referring to kids that have an IEP or disability that gives them a logical reason for behavior issues. If there are kids who have disengaged, we need to find out why. If they have a destructive home life, maybe the school can initiate some community outreach from social services. But if the kids are doing it just to amuse themselves, they should be pulled out of class, and if it's a chronic problem, maybe homeschooled or something -- because they are violating the right to an education of the other 29 students in that class. Just my opinion.
Side note: I've subbed for over a dozen different elementary schools, and I've noticed that the schools that have very active principals tend to have fewer behavior problems.
Higher Ed Is A Business
College professor here: I don't think people realize how bad the adjunct system is in higher education. In fact, I don't think most people even know what an adjunct is. Long-ish post below for those who want details but the TL;DR is that most college classes now are being taught by overworked, underpaid part-timers while full time faculty are slowly getting squeezed out of the system and this represents a severe threat to everything higher ed is supposed to stand for:
For a whole host of complicated reasons, full-time faculty can't teach every single class that's needed in a given department, so some part-timers are necessary to fill in for extra classes or to teach highly specialized courses that may only be offered once a semester. These part-timers are called adjuncts. In a healthy academic environment adjuncts only make up a small portion of the college faculty (say 25-30%) and are often either professionals in the field teaching college as a side-gig, retirees looking to keep themselves busy or something along those lines, and they are well compensated for their work.
Outside The USA
UK, inner-city London school, deprived area. My views are:
Staff aren't treated as professionals or trusted to do their job. Curriculums are too rigid. Schools are engineered towards exams rather than encouraging genuine passion for education and building robust social skills.
Teachers are held to account for poor exam outcomes, which defies ALL logic. Too many holes to jump through and excessive marking for staff with lack of planning time, so lesson quality is often poorer than staff aspire for. Too many useless and overpaid middle-managers and senior leaders who justify their existence by creating more work for everyone else. Academisation needs to be absolutely obliterated (we are in the 3rd poorest borough of the country where over half of all kids live in poverty and our Academy Trust CEO somehow justified taking home a quarter of a million pounds in his pay packet every year purely because Academies can determine their own pay structure to some extent. Literally "taking food from the mouths of babes").
Teaching Assistants are underpaid and undervalued but essential for large classes with students who have complex needs. Class sizes are too large so children get neglected. Schools are becoming miniature welfare states responsible for teaching, child protection and social services, feeding, toilet training, policing and parenting kids and not enough responsibility is being pushed back onto parents or kids themselves (especially teenagers.)
I can probably think of more... but I will stop there.
As I understand it, schools are funded based on property taxes of the town/area/neighborhood they're in. This leads to poor areas having underfunded schools. Maybe they should be pooled at the state or federal level and then divided among schools on the basis of number of students enrolled or something along those lines. Every child in the country should have access to the same teaching resources as every other child.
I realize throwing money at the problem isn't going to fix all the problems, but it seems like the best place to start.
It's All Practical Applications
People working for the state and national level education agencies (ie TEA, Department of Education) should be required a few times a month to go work in schools. Not just the high income private type schools, but also the Title 1 schools. It would also be reasonable for them to visit different school districts, again to get a fair picture of what is going on.
Over and over again you have people making decisions for schools they don't understand. They say things make sense on paper, but they don't see the impact it has in a classroom setting. I think that having them visit or better yet teach lessons to these kids will help keep them connected to what is truly going on.
Dick And Jane Are Bored
In English, a reform of the English spelling system would be most impactful. It would shave 2 or 3 years of "literacy" (decoding) "learning" (memorizing disguised as useless and boring games, useless and boring songs, useless and boring activities or Dick-and-Jane reading). In lieu, more crucial subjects (ethics, finance, relationships,...) could be learned and could be learned independently (since learners would be able to read anything that they like). Imagine the increase in motivation and interest. I doubt any educational reform could have more of an impact on so many learners (native or not) and especially on the lower socio-economic groups. Prove me wrong.
Socialize The System
The US does not have a system of schools. We have a multitude of systems. Some of them are even pretty good! On international standardized tests, however, all of these different systems average out to a middling result. I think these two points are fairly achievable and would help most, if not all school systems.
- Even out the wildly divergent levels of local school funding. Ideally by bringing underfunded schools up.
- Shorten the amount of time teachers spend with students. Teachers spend 6 to 7 hours a day with students. That leaves a pretty small slice of time (always at the end of the day when you are exhausted) to grade, write lesson plans, contact parents, receive training, or even just stop to reflect about what went well or badly. That all combines to cause burnout, poor performance, and an inability to improve your craft.
Ultimately though, I don't think US schools will show major improvements until a robust social safety net is in place.
Stinky Socks Is MY President
So much. For one thing, I would prioritize education over sports. Even now, I'm still salty over the fact that my senior year in high school, they cut electives and got rid of those teachers so they revamp the sports teams. Also, if you've never taught in a classroom, you are unqualified to make decisions regarding educational policies. Looking at you, admins. And lastly, no more catering to parents. Your kid doesn't do the work, too bad. They fail. And no, "stinky socks" was not the first president of the US. You are so not getting credit for that.
How We Fund Schools
Allowing students to fail and retake things. I think its important for kids to learn from their mistakes and then apply their new learning to the same task. Thats how it works in real life.
We learn a lot more from failure then we do with successes.
I also think that funding shouldn't be based off of the average family income in the area. This puts kids in low income housing at a HUGE disadvantage when in reality, they probably need the funding the most.
It's Called RACISM Kids
All teachers should have mandatory ESL and/or diversity education courses. I'm an ESL teacher (and black) and I can't tell you how many times I've had to coach a teacher through making content accessible for her one or two English language learning kiddos, or that their focus on the two black girls in the class who spend all recess teasing each other are not bullying/being aggressive.
The stereotypes that come out of even well meaning teachers is difficult to deal with. Like when a black student enrolls and the teacher finds out just mom is in the picture. "Oh, that poor soul, no dad. Again." Um no, you have never met this kid please stop. Or assuming all immigrant students and families from Asian backgrounds are easier to deal with than immigrant students and families from Latinx or African backgrounds. I taught in a city with a high Somali population and heard teachers talk about teaching at Somali charter schools and how those Somali boys are just so aggressive and they fight all the time and are so violent. Guess which kids got the cops called on them by teachers/admin the most, or were labeled as ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) or EBD (emotional behavior disorder). Special education labeling is highly racialized.
Educated people are not always very educated.
It Should Not Just Be Its Own Reward
Was a teacher for 7 years. Pay teachers more, and trust them with freedom. That's all. So many great teachers left because they couldn't afford it, and so much testing and accountability slows the good ones down.
It's not a prestigious position so there isn't competition for it.
You end up with only people who really wanted to teach and have a passion for it (awesome) and people who couldn't make it in their field (not awesome).
Our society doesn't value teachers like they should, and a lot of that issue would be fixed by paying them more (some kids respect people just for making money, the profession would attract better people and that would increase respect as well).
Also more freedom. Having so many restrictions and so much testing might be good for worse performing teacher but it is bad for strong teachers.
My last years was my first making more than the average McDonald's manager in my state, and it was close. We were planning on a third kid, I had lost my passion, and I was tired of not feeling valued by the system, respected, and safe. Now I build websites for double the pay.
Too Many Hoops To Jump Through
Quit with the endless paperwork. I spend more time on proving what I've done than the actual teaching itself. Endless goalposts shifting and duplication of paperwork (too many managers who need to justify their jobs/creating more shit to do). I just want to teach English to people who struggle.
Also, in the area I work in, the requirements of professional memberships etc can really add up. What for? So I'm a member? What does that do to help me in the classroom? Obviously I can claim them back against my tax, but it's the time and effort to jump through all the necessary hoops drives me insane.
Don't even talk to me about GDPR training, H&S training (and all the others) that need doing for EACH provision I work for. Updated every year. There is always something I need training on - that doesn't improve my CPD/overall knowledge, but just wears me down and bores me to death. Rant over.
Not a teacher but I'm training to be a teacher and I would eliminate all those standardized tests and replace them with tests that are like the ones done in the classroom already and are once a month this would eliminate so much stress for not only the children but, also the teachers.
Ten Steps Back
You would stay with one teacher for each tier of schooling.
One of the biggest issues is, every class might as well be a fresh start. You have a curriculum, sure, but every year is a gamble of how much foundation the previous class actually got and how much of the year will be review of things they should already know.
You could get so much more done if teaching a class was a continuous process with a consistent source of information rather than rolling the dice on who had Ms. Lewis or Mrs. Guerrero last year.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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