Taxi Drivers And Riders Share The Most WTF Backseat Conversations They've Ever Overheard
If bartenders are the unofficial therapists of the world, what does that make taxi drivers? Or Uber drivers for that matter? Lyft? Exactly how would we classify their job, when they are forced to listen to the drunk, out of sorts riders of the world? We can't be sure, but is entertaining to hear the stories.
Reddit user, u/Donaaatas, wanted the most WTF of the What The What when they asked:
Difference Between Taxi and Uber
''Are you an uber?''
''I said, are you an uber?''
Solving Problems In The Backseat
I was kind of in the middle of this conversation, myself. There was a lady in the front seat, and her boyfriend sat in the back. I'm a very talkative person whenever I have fares, so I start a conversation. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, this happened:
Her (To me): "My fucking god, you remind me so much of my ex"
Him: "Oh my f-cking god, babe... I swear, your exes are the only things you EVER talk about."
She goes completely silent for a while, and he continues. "If you care so much about them, why don't you go back to them?"
Her: "You know I love you most."
Him: "Sure doesn't sound like it!"
They kept bickering about this the entire ride home (about 8 minutes) and at this point I'm just sat there, silent as all hell.
But I Promise I Won't. Promise.
I drove and had and extremely drunk middle age couple get in the car after dinner. Well the husband was extremely drunk anyway. He spent the entire twenty five minute ride telling his wife about how much he wanted to sleep with one of her friends. Not that he would of course, just how pretty she was and how much he really wanted to sleep with her. The wife was not pleased.
Call Me Tony Montana
I drive part time in Las Vegas. Last labor day I pick up a group of 4 (2 men, 2 women) and they were heading to a very popular gay club near the strip. The ride started out normally, just some people in their 20s going to party. After about 10 minutes of normal conversation they some how get on the topic of which cities they've visited have the best cocaine.
My car is a particularly bad place to have this conversation, especially on that very weekend because it just so happened to be the 12 year anniversary of my father passing away from a cocaine overdose........ I had to shut them down very quickly and once I told them why, no one said another word for the rest of the ride.
Can You Kick Them Out?
In an uber pool these 2 people started talking about Richard Spencer and were praising him.
This was on the west coast.
Still On The Job
I was giving this couple a lift 3 days after my younger brother had died and wasn't really feeling conversation. I was keeping my eyes on the road and the lady said to the man, "honey, our driver looks like he's on drugs; look how out of it he looks," as if I wasn't in the vehicle.
I smiled at the lady and said, "so how's your night going?" She didn't even answer.
How Could You!?
not a driver, but a passenger: so I was in the city with a friend and his mum and dad. the mum had a bit to drink and she and the father were arguing in the taxi where the mother lost the fucking ~$3k wedding ring that the father had bought. and holy shit did they were freaking out
Sounds Like Teenagers
I'm an Uber driver.
I heard a group of teens in my car whisper on the phone:"No he didn't see the cocaine!" I kicked them out and the shortest one proceeded to throw a bag at my car and I continued to drive off.
Connoisseurs Of All Kinds
Uber driver here.
Listened to two girls and a gay dude have a 20 min conversation about different lubes and their positive or negative feedback. It ended with one of the girls claiming to be a lube conisseuor.
None Of This Sounds Good...
had a man in with this chick. very drunk. it was late at night, maybe 1 am.
man goes to the girl, "do you think my wife is back yet? last i heard she and my son were hitting it in the next door pool." i died of laughter after they got out of the cab.
What Were They Planning?
Not a taxi driver but I got into a cab once when I was very, very drunk. I noticed the cab driver had his friend in the passenger seat. This was weird but I was too smashed to care. I just gave them the address and off we went. As we are driving the guy in the passenger seat signals to me and the drive was like " no not him. We'll take this one back to his house."
Scared the piss outta me but again, too drunk and when I got home I passed out before I could do anything else. I really hope they didn't hurt anyone that night.
I'm Going To Own This City!
When I was an Uber driver, I mostly just drove at night because I made more money. The weirdest conversation I overheard was when I picked a 20-30ish year old guy and a girl of about the same age from a strip club. The whole time the guy is rambling about his new startup and how he's going to "basically own [city we were in] in a few years."
Deadpan serious, these are some of the lines he drops. "I don't have friends. I have colleagues." "I've never had a job before. I've just known a lot of rich people. I know how they think. That's why this program works." "People don't understand the kind of intelligence I'm working with."
This goes on for the entire car ride. Every now and then she would try to change the subject, but he was able to take everything she said and turn it into something about his company. We get to the hotel they had as their destination, and as soon as he gets out, she shuts the door behind him and says to me, "Would you mind taking me somewhere else?" Well, she was the one that ordered the ride, so I drove off before the guy could start making a big deal about it. She set a new destination, and the rest of the ride was pretty uneventful.
No idea what ever happened to the guy. It's been a few years, and he still doesn't own the city, so I don't think his business ever went quite as planned.
They Seem Like The Best Bros
Loaded a couple and single guy at a bar downtown, and we're off to the NE suburbs, a 10-15 minute trip. The guy in the front is telling hubby in the back "When we get to your place, I'm going to f-ck your wife right in front of you, and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it", and variations thereon.
Hubby in the back is crying and saying "I thought you were my friend!" and "How could you do this to me!" and "We have children!!!" over and over. The wife is holding her face in both her hands, and saying "I'm so confused! I'm so confused!!!". Stay classy, Marlborough - ites! And, that was Globe Taxi, for you old time Calgarians.
It Means No Worries
Not a taxi driver, but I was in an uber pool with my gf going to the airport at 4am. We pick up this white girl, who looks high/drunk AF, and sits in the front seat next to our African driver. She starts talking and her words are slurring and asks the driver where he's from, to which he says "Kenya".
She says "Hakuna Matata, I speak Swahili" and our Uber driver laughs at her. She says something else in Swahili and her and the driver talk for like 20 minutes in Swahili. The whole time my gf are just looking at each other like wtf is happening. Apparently she wasn't lieing and spoke some pretty good Swahili
I been driving in NYC for the past 6 years....I had these hipster from Brooklyn one late Saturday night. I just picked them up from a bar (2 girls 1 guy) and the guy was telling the girls about this guy (jack) he was talking to at the bar.
He apparently was talking to another guy (noname) about this chick he slept with in college who had a cold vagina. Jack sitting next to him turned and said "Are you talking about anna" he turned to Jack and said Yeah you know her??
Jack then said yea I banged her too and could never figure out her deal. They then bonded over Anna. Then it got weirder because the girls started talking by themselves about the parties they use to throw....one was with a dead cat in a pool and someone was playing a violin in the pool and some girl showed up in a duck tape dress only covering her privates.. yes you meet a bunch of stranger people driving in NYC
When singles finally find a romantic partner after what may have seemed like an eternal love drought, they make sure they put in all the effort it takes to keep that relationship going strong.
However, there are those who are convinced that the love they found is too good to be true–probably because they may feel they don't deserve it or because they have doubts.
That's the thing about those who don't trust a good thing when it happens. Their skepticism can be all-consuming and it can lead to self-sabotaging the relationship.
Curious to hear from those who struggle with the "what ifs" in their relationship, Redditor DinoNuggieVape asked:
"How do you cope with the fear of your partner cheating on you?"
A certain hobby is more likely to prevent wandering eyes.
Commitment To Knitting
"I’ve been cheated on by my only other long term partner beside my wife. I don’t worry about my wife because 1.) I trust her and 2.) having an affair would cut too much into her knitting time. Hell, I feel like 'the other man' when compared to yarn."
"As someone who crochets, I’m sure this is how my partner feels 😂"
"Mine sews. You're said the Perfect comment. I once complained to my wife about being second love. She sewed me a blanket, and it's now my most comfortable possession. Find the right one for you."
Fixating on the possibility is the bigger problem, according to these love experts.
"By coming to terms with the FACT that there is literally nothing you can do to control what another person chooses to do."
Find Your Self-Worth
"Too many people hang on to the idea of 'I can’t live without this person' love."
"Yeah, you can. Realizing you can exist on your own and be fulfilled. After that? You’ll realize you can survive a cheater."
Finding Independence In Love
"I can't live without this person"
"That's not love. It's obsession. Once you realize you don't need the other person to live, you can start to truly love them."
"This. I had two partners (possibly three, not sure on the last one) that cheated on me. The first one I know for sure. It feels absolutely soul wrecking. So I do know how it feels. But I do also know the signs and what to look out for. Investigating phones or emails or listening for hushed conversations aside, the biggest tell tale is in the personality change. It happens 100% of the time. That is at least from talking to other people about it has led me to conclude anyway. You can always tell. And if you suspect, you could well be right."
"I'm not Mr. Paranoid or anything, but the reality is if she's going to cheat on you, then it's going to happen. There is nothing you can do, if it's going to happen, you can't control it. What you can control however is your reaction to it. And mine is very simple. End of relationship, block contact, see you later. The second time it happened to me, I didn't even offer an explanation. Her friend contacted me at some point asking why I had cold cut her out of my life and how it was so f'ked up of me to do so. I simply responded that I knew she was screwing someone behind my back, to which her friend replied, 'Oh you know about that? Well it really doesn't matter, it's you she wants!' I don't think I actually responded, I hung up."
"Getting past that business for the second time was remarkably easy. She had a few things left at my place which went into the bin, hoovered my house, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, threw out the few bits in the fridge as I used to get some food items that she liked but I never used, total clean out. I didn't feel the need to go nail a new girl that instant, instead spent the evening playing some guitar and watched a movie. I was perfectly happy and was done with the whole thing in an evening practically."
The pain cuts deep, but these Redditors learned to move on.
Trust Goes A Long Way
"I’ve been cheated on by every partner I’ve ever had. I just got married 6 months ago to the only person I’ve ever actually trusted. It comes natural which is crazy… i do have moments where i het intrusive thoughts at random like 'what if…' but i snap myself out of it and remind myself how truly trustworthy this man is and how i know he loves me. A lot of commenters seem to not understand that being cheated on can cause a type of ptsd. It’s something you just work through."
"Agree, my ex cheated on me 16 years ago and I think I will always have some doubts. My wife, who I've been with over 12 years, has never once done anything that would make me think she would cheat on me, and I trust her completely, but that trauma from 16 years ago is is still there, rearing it's ugly head from time to time."
I find that being obsessed with the possibility of one cheating on another can manifest in ways that jeopardize a solid relationship.
It's more important to appreciate being in the moment when something is going well, whether it's a relationship or anything else applicable.
Because fixating on the "what ifs" can take up a lot of energy that could be better spent on enjoying a healthy relationship.
While your instincts are usually reliable, always remember that communicating a doubt that is becoming an obsession is vital to sustaining a trusting and respectful relationship.
Ever since the global pandemic hit in March 2020, we found ourselves becoming a bit more cognizant of protecting ourselves from contagious diseases.
Sadly, masks, face shields, and hand sanitizer can't protect us from everything.
Some diseases are simply in our DNA and will begin wreaking havoc on our bodies without any sort of warning.
Many of these diseases come with symptoms that we'd only thought could be found in horror movies.
"Doctors/biologists of Reddit, what is the most terrifying disease you can get?"
They Can't See As Clearly As They Think
"Anton syndrome: maybe not the scariest but definitely still very strange and distressing."
"Essentially you get bilateral visual cortex strokes (with some parietal cortex damage), so you’re completely blind."
"But you don’t know you’re blind."
"These people will swear on their mother’s grave that they can see, but then walk straight into a wall."
"Imagine going the rest of your life genuinely believing you can see, despite constantly being told otherwise."- Spiritual-Gap3695·
A Living Statue
"Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva."
"Your muscles and tendons slowly turn to bone rendering you immobile, in constant pain due to pinched nerves, and unable to speak or eat."
"You basically just become a fully sentient statue that is in constant agony."- ky1esty1e
Too Many To Choose From...
"fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva."
"Slowly turn into bone."
"Towards the end you have to choose whether you want to be laying down or sitting."
"You can either get the generic kind or the random kind."
"Either way you will never sleep again."
"I’m also partial to Ebola and Prion diseases."
"Shout out also to alien hand syndrome, cotard delusion, capgras delusion, visual agnosia, and koro."
"Also, there is a special kind of hell for Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body dementia."- TheRealDannySugar
Why You Must Stay Up To Date On Vaccines!
"The extreme clenching of every muscle in your body until your teeth shatter, bones break, and your body constricts itself to death."
"We are constantly reminded of this disease, but with vaccination and modern medicine, people are mostly unaware of how horrible it can be outside of historical and medical texts."
It Affects More People Than You Think
'ALS (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis) also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease."
"Or any neurodegenerative disease, for that matter."- NuMD97
Thank Goodness For Modern Science
"Despite the fact that we have a vaccine for it, I have been absolutely petrified of diphtheria since reading 'The Cruelest Miles.'"
"Without treatment, the thought of slowly choking to death on mucus membranes covering your lymph nodes... terrifying."- GlowCavern
"I’m gonna go with prion diseases."
"They can hang out in your body for decades before causing symptoms, have no known treatments, and are very difficult to destroy."
"I’m also personally uncomfortable with the idea of proteins in my body misfolding."
"My nightmare scenario is a CWD becoming transmissible to humans."- Mirrorflute88
'Biologist - prion disease is terrifying."
"They're a kind of protein that is the 'wrong way' ( think mirror image) and other proteins they encounter mimic them."
"So a healthy normal protein encounters an abnormally folded prion and re-folds itself the way the prion is folded."
"This creates a chain reaction and results in neurodegeneration and encephalopathy (holes in the brain)."
"Think mad cow disease (aka, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease CJD)."
"It is always fatal and is contracted by eating brain/neural tissue)."
"F*cking terrifying."- ticklewhales
The Dreaded C-Word
"Resident doctor here."
"A terrifying type of illness I haven't seen mentioned yet are head and neck cancers in general."
"They tend to have a terrible quality of life they can have due to masses pushing into their airways or esophagus."
"Had a patient not long ago with a kind of throat cancer caused by HPV which led his bottom teeth needing to be removed and not being able to eat solid food."- Reddit
Hang On To Those Memories
"I would say Alzheimer's."
"Imagine forgetting everything and everyone you loved."
"Imagine slowly forgetting how to do things, how to walk, eat, drink and talk."
"Eventually you die because you forget how to breathe."
"To me that's pretty horrifying, and think of the family members who see them going through that!"- InFiniTeDEATH8
No Known Antidote
"I’m not sure if this is considered a disease but I would say radiation poisoning could be the worst."
"Depending on isotope and the level of exposure radiation can do some absolutely twisted sh*t to the human body."- S0M3D1CK
Only One Thing On the Menu For Them...
"Flesh eating is just as f*cked up as all the rest , you never know if its all cut-out or not until it f*cking eats your leg."- gotbetterbro
Trapped In Your Own Body
'You’re cognitively there, but you cannot move any part of your body."- Softconcrete579
Talk About Skin Crawling
"Surprised no one has mentioned pemphigus."
"It is extremely rare, but it is it an awful way to go."
"Schwarzschild died of it, you know, the guy that calculated the 'Schwarzschild radius'."
"Yeah, turns out you haven't heard of him for anything else in physics was his early, horrifying demise to pemphigus." -Reddit
Depends On The Circumstances
"Without modern medicine: plague making your blood septic and rotten."
"Without knowledge of what is happening: rabies."
"Without the support of others: alzheimers."- cherrycoloredcheeks
Perhaps the most frightening thing about all these bone-chilling diseases and illnesses?
They could happen to literally anyone.
You never know anyone quite as well as you think you do.
Even your closest friends and family members have a way of surprising you upon revealing something about their past, or their interests and hobbies.
Sometimes, however, surprised doesn't even begin to cover how you feel about what you just learned.
Some people are so good at covering up sad, dark, even despicable elements of their lives, that you would never have known had you not somehow found out yourself.
Even if it's debatable whether or not you're better off knowing this information.
"What's the most disturbing piece of information you've found out about someone you've known personally?"
Never Who You Might Expect
"Years ago, I became very close with a manager of mine and we hung out after work pretty often."
"He seemed like a genuinely great guy."
"He moved back to his hometown years later and we kept in touch on Facebook until he just stopped responding."
"Then I went to try to message him again and his profile was gone."
"I decided to google him, half expecting to find an obituary or something but instead I found out he was charged with some sh*t and in jail."
"I never got any kind of weird vibes from him and I'm still shocked."- CocoTandy
"I know a girl from my hometown who would have Skype calls with Ian Watkins (lost prophets) horrific man."
"The Skype calls involved her child."- vapekittenx
Doesn't Make Him Any Less Guilty
"My uncle on my dad's side of the family was an accomplice of a murder in the 80’s."
"He didn’t make the kill, but he helped the murder take place."
"Found out by my mom last year."- X0vel
Old Habits Die Hard
"When I was about 12 my family found out that my dad cheated on my mom, as well as every other ex-wife he had before her."
'Now, years later, women still recognize my mom as the one who was married to that one awful guy."
"One woman met her in a bar and ended up telling her stories about how my dad would stalk her again and again."
"Once she even had to call her own dad to escort him off their property because he wouldn’t leave."
'All of this happened while he was married to my mom."- Ryry_Duppie
There Are No Words...
"He honestly believed he was God's chosen representative on Earth, and therefore, no one was allowed to defy him or God would allow him to punish him."
"As you can guess, he was charged with domestic battery several times, and got into a lot of fights (he usually lost, he was obese, and couldn't move very fast)."
"He was stalking some poor woman, and he showed up at her house and demanded she leave her husband and come with him as God had given her to him as his slave, and he tried to force his way in, and she shot and killed him."
"We're a castle doctrine state, so she didn't get in any trouble."- Local64bithero
"In my teens I knew a guy recently out of prison."
"There was another guy in the neighborhood who everyone hated."
"He would just cruise the block in his car because anytime he stayed anywhere too long, people would confront him."
"Everyone hated this guy."
"Prison guy was in his late teens, guy everyone hated was in his early twenties and dating a girl who I believe was sixteen."
"Not long after getting out prison guy got into it with the guy everyone hated."
"It wasn't difficult, the guy was just incapable of acting in a way that didn't make you want to punch him."
"But he couldn't fight so he'd make himself scarce and then good luck finding him."
"But prison guy wasn't giving up so easily so he kidnapped the other guy's girlfriend."
"Nothing cinematic he just went by her school and got her in a car then told her she wasn't allowed to leave until her boyfriend showed up."
"Boyfriend, not one to back down from a scumbag contest, told her she's on her own."
"In the end the girl ended up dating prison guy."
"I don't even know who the story is about anymore."
"They were all very unique people."- MrFunktasticc
Refused To Believe Her
"My grandfather was a very big/loved name in my local community, and after he died my grandmother revealed that he was very abusive."
"It only became more disturbing when everyone cut her off because they loved him so much they refused to believe her."- MediaGullible282
Gave Away A Little Too Much?
"A random former acquaintance got very drunk in front of me and heavily insinuated that he had gotten away with murder several years earlier as an enforcer in a street gang."- stoplightdrop
Manipulating People's Compassion
"This is probably tame compared to others on here but my ex-best-friend lied about having brain cancer for 2 years."
"She also impersonated drs to verify her story to the people she was lying to."- SpeckledCloud
Why, One Wonders...
"I’ve worked w two people who faked pregnancies."
'One was a guy who said his girlfriend was pregnant and wasn’t dragged that on for months."
"Another was a woman who said she was pregnant and dragged it on for months and months until our employers caught on."- elizscott1977
Currying Favor Doesn't Always Work...
"That a close relative was only being nice to me because they would Inherit my belongings after I died."
"Let's just say that side of the relatives don't exist for me anymore."- No-Power1377
It's truly unsettling how good some people are at hiding their true selves.
Making you wonder if you can really trust anyone...
If you or someone you know experienced sexual assault, help is out there. You can reach the RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline by calling 1-800-656-4673, use their Live Chat tool: https://www.rainn.org/get-help, or visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.
In Canada, help is available through the Ending Violence Association of Canada website.
International resources can be found through the Rape Crisis Network Europe website.
We can't be brilliant every second of every day.
Even the Mensa-level brains that walk among us have their off moments.
It is inescapable.
Sometimes IQ doesn't matter.
Redditor SnooTomatoes1254 wanted hear about the times the brightest of us may have come across as the dimmest, so they asked:
"What's the best example of a smart person being incredibly stupid you've ever experienced?"
Nobody is perfect.
Even with a bunch of brain cells.
RemoteBlack Magic School GIF by Little MixGiphy
"Our physics professor once had held a remote lecture without turning his Google Meet on. So he just spoke to the computer for 1.5 hours."
"I used to work at a chemical engineering plant. One day I was in the kitchen washing my glasses with a drop of dish soap and one of the lead engineers said I shouldn’t wash my glasses like that. I asked him why not and he responded that I will wash the prescription off."
"While he’s dumb, you could wash off any coatings on your glasses, making them more susceptible to glare, fogging, and other bad things."
Class is in Session
"Oh, I almost forgot about this one! When I was in my final year of physics at University, we had a professor who would get very irritated at the pull string for the projection screen, as it would dangle down in front of the whiteboard."
"Every morning, he would spend a good couple minutes attempting to throw the weight on the end over the light fixture above the whiteboard, taking anywhere from 5 to 30 tries each time. All the students would give tips and encouragement, and this became a kind of inside joke for the class of how long it would take every morning."
"Months go by, and one day near the end of the quarter, we end up with a substitute. The sub goes to the board and, without hesitation, grabs the string and hooks it over a thumbtack stuck in the cork at the top of the whiteboard."
"The entire class literally gasped in unison! The sub whirled around, asking what happened, and the whole class just starts laughing. Eventually, someone explained what happened, and we all had a good laugh that an entire class of physics majors never even thought of that solution, let alone noticed that the tack had always been there for that purpose."
Leading to Tragedy
"My brother-in-law had a Masters degree in Physics and Maths. He was a teacher at a high school. He had a new house built. He thought he would save money by nailing on the drywall (sheetrock, Gib board). He managed to put nails through a hot water pipe and the wiring."
"By the time he'd paid a plumber and electrician to fix up the mess it cost a lot more."
ForwardCant Speak Nathan Fillion GIFGiphy
"University physics professor at a Hyundai dealership arguing with a tech telling him about the noise in his car. The professor was freaking out saying he couldn't even understand what the tech was trying to say, because the tech said 'centrifugal force,' instead of 'Centripetal force.'"
"The conversation could not move forward. It was weird."
Hyundais came be dangerous. Now we know why.
I need a Check-Upjohn stamos sexy smile GIF by ScreamQueensGiphy
"My doctor. During the period of my life in which I was dating my ex gf my doctor would INSIST every time I saw him that I needed to be on birth control because it was responsible to be preventing pregnancy. No matter how many times I told him that I was in a monogamous relationship with a woman he would still keep asking. I guess it it just didn’t compute."
In the Rain
"My sister has been driving her bf's truck for a year. We get in the truck to go somewhere, she says wait, I need to go in the house to get a paper towel to dry off the windshield. I say, why don't you use the wipers? She says, I don't know how. I ask, what do you do when it rains? Answer: I stay home."
Stripped and Unplugged
"I worked IT at a university. We got a call saying a printer would not turn on. The particular person who called was a very steriotypical, 'I have a doctorate I know all the things,' kind of person. Anyway, I get to the classroom and they show me the printer proclaiming they checked everything including the power strip, unplugged it, plugged it back in and all that. They were very irate and rude the whole time I was there."
"While I was looking it over they were getting more upset because they had already checked the power cables and they were fine. Without saying anything I unplugged the power strip from itself, plugged it into the wall then turned on the printer and just walked out."
"My father in law is very intelligent. He taught himself how to solve a rubics cube without looking anything up and is generally a genius in math, logic, puzzles what have you. He believes dinosaurs couldn't be real because they would be too big for their skeletons to uphold their weight. He has lots of other really stupid ideas because he is so intelligent he thinks he can just reason himself into correct conclusions without doing research or adhering to the scientific process."
Grass Issuesjeremy davies lawnmower GIFGiphy
"Well, my cousin who has two freaking masters degrees in finance and economics, put his hand in still spinning lawnmower to help it blow out rest of grass faster. He lost a finger."
"I asked why he didn’t wait till it stopped completely."
"He said it was just in a hurry."
I've never trusted a lawnmower.
And now, neither should you.