It takes a lot of trust to get a tattoo. After all, you're walking into a shop and telling someone you barely know, "Hey, can you please alter my body with ink? Also, don't mess it up or it will follow me around forever, haunting my very existence." Except, sometimes you do mess it up and it does follow you around forever. Most tattoo artists are skilled enough to work around their mistakes and cover them up, but some are too big to fix and that's what the following entries are all about.
*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.
Reddit user, u/T_S_Sean, wanted to hear:
Tattooists of Reddit, have you ever messed up a tattoo on someone and what was the fallout?
What A Tribute
I tattoo with my best friend. They wanted a tribute for their dog that passed and I had sketched a couple of designs up in my spare time. One night we were bored and decided to take their favorite sketch and slap it on them. It was supposed to read "Little James" with a little cartoon version of their dog beneath.
But the sketch read "Litte James" and we both failed to notice because the font was so stylized. Neither of us realized it was misspelled for 3 months! We're still best friends and love telling the story. They owe me a misspelled tattoo now and I honestly cannot wait!
Yoar Gonna Love It
Not the artist, am the oops. Got some lyrics tattooed on me, but "your" became "yoar" - I suspect he was aiming to go over the O but did the U instead.
Result was crying me, guilt from him and almost 3.5 years of free laser removal to fix. I have gotten tattoos from him after that but have since moved.
A Permanent Oopsie
My dad once brought a tattoo gun from a weird website. Once he got it he wanted to see if it worked by drawing a small line in his palm. Oh it worked. But now he has a permanent small line on his palm. He never touched that gun ever again
"Punce" Up, Not Down
I knew a girl who had a tattoo of boxing gloves that said "Roll with the punces" (obviously supposed to be punches.) I pointed it out to her and she didn't care at all. Apparently she really was good at rolling with the punces. And no I'm not kidding.
You Learn To Live With It
Not an artist but have two experiences of this:
- An almost moment in my first tattoo. Told the guy I wanted a quote from LOTR, from Aragorn's prophecy "not all those who wander are lost"
When he showed me the sketch it said wOnder not wAnder.
It's an easy/common mistake to make but it completely changes the meaning and is a mis-quote. Luckily I caught it and decided to lose the wording in any event!
2. I had the tattoo, a bird, done in 2 sessions. First session we did the line work and discussed colour, I said I wanted it as colourful as possible. As we'd already discussed it, I thought it was covered.
Second session about 3/4 weeks later, he starts on the tattoo and he gets out mostly brown and grey inks. I didn't realise until it was too late that those weren't just colours for the more "shadowy" parts, that was the whole tattoo!
Tried to convince myself that I liked it, but after 3 or 4 years I've now accepted that I don't like the colours or really the design itself and I've had it lasered so it can be covered up by another artist.
There Is No Reason Why You Should Be Inking People
Holy sh-t. I bought a tattoo gun like 15 years ago and with no training just started going hell bent on myself and then my friends.
My thighs are literally covered with indecipherable crap that then gets slightly better as it works it way down towards my knees. Over the course of a few weeks I got slightly better and told this guy I could do a tribal sleeve LOL. F-cking way beyond my scope. I had no business putting a needle near anyone else's skin. The dude was flabby and I hadn't worked on flabby people before and it was all different. Basically it was a big f-cking mess and the guy was filthy, always covered in dirt so it got badly infected. So at least after that I realized I could really hurt someone and stopped.
Not All Machines Are Perfect
F-cked up some biomech on a guys f-cking HAND about 15 years ago. Still haunts me
What's biomech? I don't have any tattoos so I don't know if this is an industry term or what. Genuinely curious.
It's a style. Biomechanical. Basically integrating man with machine.
Maybe We Should Go Back To Teaching Cursive In Schools...
Had a close friend getting his first tattoo. Kind of an uptight guy. Our mutual bud is an illustrator and he calls him over and explains that his appointment for the tattoo is in 30 minutes and he asks that our bud write, in calligraphy, the word "home" to be copied by the tattoo artist. Although hurried our bud reluctantly does so.
Friend goes to the tattoo parlor and I see him late that night. He proudly pulls down his shirt to show me the word "home" written big on his chest in calligraphy.
But here's the thing: in cursive, unless you're really careful, an "e" is almost indistinguishable from an "o".
So I'm looking at my uptight friend, and he has in big floral writing the word "HOMO" tattooed on his chest.
I swore in that moment that I would never mention it to him — maybe that's wrong. But I'll bet I'm not the only of his friends who've noticed it.
Okay, Seriously, Stop Getting Hammered And Then Tattooing
I do a lot of home tattoos. Got a machine not too long ago, but had done stick n pokes since I was like 15. So it's trashy/punk/diy/whatever, but it's fun and I got pretty decent at it, especially with words.
My girlfriend and I got hammered one night and decided to get three numbers we both love tattooed on us.
She did mine first, went off without a hitch. Looks as great as it can with very little background on her part.
It was my turn to tattoo her now and that's when I realized I forgot that 9 doesn't face right, like P.
She laughed at my stupidity and she just wanted me to black out the spot with a little box and do the number a little below it to make it look stylized.
NBD because it was my gf and done in a diy front room, but still was a stupid-a-- mistake and I can't imagine doing that to someone who isn't that close to me.
It's Not What You Think
There was a guy I worked with that wanted bada-- written on his arm in cursive. He went to a new shop that just opened up.
It looked like it said beepuss.
Not One Big Part, But Lots Of Smaller Parts
i literally mess up almost every time i tattoo. i'm not a pro and i have no training or license and i TELL EVERYONE THAT but because i'm a good artist people still beg me to tattoo them. so i do simple things like outlines and words that can be fixed even if i f-ck up bad (which i haven't yet) but every time there are definitely a few shaky lines or f-cked up parts of the tattoo.
yeah i know i shouldn't tattoo people if i have no training, but i know enough to be sanitary and i warn them that i will probably f-ck up a little bit and people are still okay w it so whatever
Don't Stop...Bellievieing?
Not me, but a friend
He bought a kit from somewhere and tattooed random people (unlicensed)
What people didn't know was that he was terrible at art and horrible at basic spelling
So many people took him to small claims to get money back
My favorite? He tried spelling "believe" Resulted in "Bellievie"
It's Easy To Take One On The...Cin?
I knew a girl who had a tattoo of boxing gloves that said "Roll with the punces" (obviously supposed to be punches.) I pointed it out to her and she didn't care at all. Apparently she really was good at rolling with the punces. And no I'm not kidding.
AND NO ONE SAID ANYTHING?
I once had a woman come in when I worked at a walk in shop. She had her whole family with her. She was getting her first tattoo at 70+(can't remember exact age). She was getting something that included the birth-death dates of her recently deceased husband. Her whole family saw the design. They were really excited. Let me repeat, the whole family saw the design. So I do the tattoo, the woman loves it, and then her daughter sneaks back over while I'm tearing down.
She whispers to me that her mother had gotten the dates wrong. I felt so bad. They even knew she had dementia problems apparently, and no one looked at it closely enough to see if she had gotten the dates correct. Unfortunately it wasn't dates that could easily be changed to another number. I told them I could cover it after she healed but I never saw them again :/
In Time...
I got a tattoo apprenticeship as a teenager and a few of my friends got small tattoos by me. One night, very high, directly after my sweet 16 (I was still in my dress) I was tattooing a friend of mine who wanted "Eventually Everything Will End" written up her ribcage. Halfway through the Eventually we realize i've gone slightly off transfer and the whole thing is crooked. I am mortified. My blood ran cold, I imagined she'd hate me forever. Her boyfriend at the time just said "Just add a dot dot dot and make it mysterious, like "Eventually.." like you're trailing off' She looks at me and says "Dot dot dot me up" and I do. She loved that tattoo, even got it inscribed on a zippo.
Shortly after my 22nd birthday she committed suicide. As a tribute several of her friends got the word "Eventually..." tattooed in her honor, as if to say eventually we may see each other again. My worst f-ck up, one of my best memories. Miss you Kait
(If you ever feel like ending it all, please reach out to someone. Depression is a liar and you will be missed more than you understand)
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
We've all said something stupid, let's not lie to ourselves.
It's okay to say something stupid. It showcases the real person on the inside, that we're all flawed, imperfect, and made of cooky combinations of words that don't necessarily line up to make sense. Sometimes we're nervous in a situation, other times we're just hitting 'Quick Reply' in our brains and what comes out doens't work, but whatever the reason, you for sure are going to remember it, late at night, for the rest of your life.
Reddit user, u/marginalpotato, wanted to know when the foot should have been in the mouth when they asked:
What is the stupidest thing that ever came out of your mouth?
You may not have to change your home address because of these moments, but you should probably reconsider how many public outings you go to afterwards.
Should Probably Never Shop At That Store Again
"When the cashier said "Have a nice day", and I replied with "No, thanks".
"Background: I wasnt thinking straight that day, and thought they said "Do you want a bag"
That's. How. Twins. Work?
"Her: the twins are 3 years old"
"Me: Both of them?"
"Oh no this unearthed a memory i had buried from kindergarten lmao"
"We had a set of twins in our classroom and once on their birthday party I said "your brother got such a cool party, i hope yours is nice like this too" to one of them and he was like "yeah, this one"
"4 year old me was not a very bright kid"
That's. How. Death. Works...
"Watching the documentary 'The Last Dance' when a Kobe interview pops up -"
"Me: "Wow, they must have filmed this before Kobe died."
"My wife: "Yeah, obviously…."
The cringe comes out of nowhere, and you're not even sure how you were able to ask something so incredibly stupid, but here you are. Lounging in the stupid air.
You Should Have Asked What "Nothing" Tastes Like Next
"In my head I was wondering what one pound of water would look like in terms of volume. What I said out loud however was "How much does a pound of water weigh?"
Keep Up With Me
"A couple of months ago, I got up and drove to work as usual. Later, my girlfriend texted me from home to ask me if she had left her sunglasses in my car. I told her I wasn't sure, but she could grab my spare key and go check."
"In my car."
"Which I had driven to work."
Black Is White, White Is Black
"I don't understand why people place bets on who wins, why not just place bets on who loses?"
"Yeah took me a minute to register what I said..."
And then there's these stories, where the person is probably better off cutting off any human contact henceforth going forward. These are rough to get through, folks.
Should Probably Have A Chat With HR After This
"I was about 4 months into my current job, feeling confident being fresh off the contract-to-hire period, now moved into a coveted full time role. While walking back to my office from the morning kanban I was stopped by my boss, head peeking out of the office:"
"Boss: "Hey TheMediator, do you have a sec?"
"Me: "For you, I've got lots of secs!"
"Boss: wide-eyes, mouth dropped"
"If you're curious why this was incredibly stupid/embarrassing, try saying the phrase "lots of secs" out loud. Preferably, not to your boss though."
You Don't Need College Anymore. Go Home. Bury Your Head In The Sand.
"In my freshman year of college I was dorming next door to a couple cute girls. About a week into the first semester one girl walked from the coed showers to her dorm room in her towel still wet. We were both unlocking our doors to get in our rooms when she looks at me and says…"
"I know I look stunning…(sarcastically)"
"To which I replied, "don't flatter yourself."
"I had to slid a note under her door explaining I was tongue tied as she was beautiful and I meant to say "don't be hard on yourself, you look great." (Or something to that nature). We became good friends."
It's In The Descriptor?
"Chatting to a homeless guy on the street and he told me he was feeling unwell. I told him he should be at home, resting."
"It's been 20 years and the memory of it still brings me out in a cold sweat."
Oh Good Lord...
"Asked my friend how his mom was doing at his moms funeral."
"Jesus Christ this is the worst one on this thread. What was his response?"
"He looked at me and then the casket and kind of smirked. I awkwardly started to try and explain and just said "I'm an idiot. You know I love you. Talk to you in a bit." He makes fun of me now and I can't stop laughing. It's a positive painful memory."
Own up to your mistakes. You'll garner more respect by acknowledging the awkward things you say, however, it's perfectly fine to laugh about it in the moment. That's probably the easiest way to escape the deep, deep shame.
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People Break Down Their Best 'I Don't Know, I Didn't Think I'd Get This Far' Experiences
The advice "fake it til you make it," though often said with at least a hint of sarcasm, does carry quite a bit of wisdom.
By simply putting one foot in front of the other, weathering the chaos of not knowing what's happening as you learn as fast as possible, we can find ourselves further than we expected.
Once we're there, reaping the fruits of all our "faking," we somehow begin to take on a new identity in people's eyes They assume we've always been in control and known what was going on. They defer to us for advice.
But that couldn't be further from the truth. So we keep on faking it.
Redditor espectro11 asked:
"What's your 'I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far' moment?"
Many Redditors discussed their experiences navigating the intimidating environment of job applications, interviews, and offers.
Oh Right, Getting Paid
"I gave my resume to fancy private school (I'm a teacher, but new to the field) and I didn't expect a call back. But they called me today to ask my expected salary and I said 'I don't know what the average is. Let me Google it.' "
"Ya girl was not prepared."
Uhhhh, Uhhhhh
"When I went for a walk-in interview looking like crap and they hired me on the spot. I get they were hiring for a new store, but they up and said 'if you want the job it's yours, when can you start?' "
"Deada** didn't think I'd make it that far."
-- NewtNeutral
Outside the Box
"Years ago I was applying to a bunch of copywriting jobs and feeling frustrated because I wasnt hearing back from any of the places I was applying to."
"It was especially frustrating because I was putting in all this time on cover letters and I felt like nobody was even reading them, so I said, 'Fu** it, I'm gonna write one that is more me.' I thought it was a dumb idea and never imagined that it would work, but somehow it did."
"I applied with this cover letter and the subject line "Copywriter: Will Work for Beer" to a job that I was very underqualified for. It managed to catch the eye of the headhunter for the ad agency and was enough to get me an interview. Shortly after that I was hired and ended up working there for a few years, but I remember thinking on my first day, 'I can't believe that actually worked.' "
-- -eDgAR-
Just Not the Right Fit
"An interview at Google. The 20 years younger than me was describing the peer review system."
"I responded with 'Jesus, that sounds awful.' "
"I did not get the job."
Others also shared experiences that centered on their working lives. But these stories weren't about being hired or interviewed.
These were accounts of long-developing success stories that they never would have predicted.
A Winding Road
"My entire legal career"
"I have four degrees and a 10 year career in commerical litigation. I just wrapped up a $200mil trusts lawsuit."
"I started at uni doing theatre and stand up comedy. I have no fu**ing idea where I turned to get here."
-- lawyerlady
Big Fish
"Started at a very small company doing sales straight out of college. I went about messaging big corporate players (who obviously would never do business with us since our size) and was laughed at by my new colleagues for even trying."
"2 weeks later My boss was asking me what we (a team of 6) should say on the conference call with Toshiba Buyers."
-- TheBFG420
Putting Fires Out
"Me at work. I feel like every issue that comes up has me unprepared. But I am always praised for my good work."
"So, I assume I have imposter syndrome and keep doing what I am doing."
-- 47-Rambaldi
So next time you find yourself ruling a possibility out completely, maybe take just a few seconds to imagine it actually occurred and prepare.
You just never know.
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| Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay |
I'm going to be perfectly honest––I'm a city boy. I'm not a huge fan of hiking or camping. I happen to be a huge fan of running water. Have you heard of it? It's great. Highly recommended.
I've also, on a more humorous note, watched far too many horror films over the years and don't particularly like idea of running off into the woods only to piss off some demon that was perfectly fine until I arrived. I also have immense respect for our friendly neighborhood serial killers and demonstrate this regularly by staying out of their territory.
Those who love the great outdoors had plenty to share after Redditor Your_Normal_Loser asked the online community, "
Hikers of Reddit, what is the weirdest or creepiest thing you've come across while hiking?"
"The only reason..."
"When we were exploring the Australian Outback as university students, my friend and I found an old, tightly wrapped plastic bag with five or six damaged wallets along shrubbery at the base of a cliff.
The only reason we opened it up was because we were so remote - hundreds of kilometres from any town or tourist attraction - that it was strange to see garbage out there. All the cards were in female names and birthdates placed them in their late teens to early 20s. Some lived in the Northern Territory but one was in Sydney and another from Queensland. At the time we figured rock climbers must have stored their valuables in the bag and then lost track of it. I'll never forget the strange look the police officer gave us when we handed them in."
You see... this is why I wouldn't go mess around in the Australian Outback.
I also may or may not have watched Wolf Creek one too many times.
"A recliner..."
"A recliner on a small hill with a hole dug out in the middle and water bottles all over the place."
"A trashed campsite..."
"A trashed campsite complete with the tent cut open...
...do you report these things, or what?"
Probably?
Or maybe not... you might want to turn back.
"The walls were completely plastered..."
"I was walking in a thick forest and came across an opening. In the center there was a shack made of lumber, with a bench built into it that was slightly leaned back.
The walls were completely plastered in porn."
Well... that's one way to get off.
"The man stopped talking..."
"I was backpacking with a few friends. A few days in the middle of nowhere, a man approached our camp as we were cooking dinner to say hi. We talked about our routes for a few minutes. Out of nowhere, he told us that he had had a vasectomy in his 30s after his 2nd child. Then somehow his wife had gotten pregnant with his 3rd child. He didn't believe this was possible, so he demanded a DNA test to see if he was actually the father. He was. Still, he explained that he had his doubts and thought that his wife must have fixed the DNA test.
My friends and I were in our 20s and had no idea why this guy was telling us this. We all just nodded and smiled.
The man stopped talking and then just walked away into the night."
"I stepped in..."
"I stepped in and fell over a cow carcass on a night hike. It was a bright moonlit night but I didn't see it in the shadows. Thankfully it was mostly dry."
"We still have no idea..."
"I was in the woods with three friends at night. A friend's house was nearby and I was getting hungry so I went inside to find some food. Another friend came inside with me. Two friends were still outside.
Later on, one of the two who outside came in and sees the indoor friend on the couch next to me. They panic and immediately run back outside.
I poke my head out the door asking what's going on, only to hear them yell as loudly as they can, "THAT'S NOT KEVIN"
Everyone comes inside and calms down a bit, and the story comes out. They thought the friend who was indoors with me (Kevin) had been outside with them this entire time. Why? Because in the darkness of the woods they saw a silhouette about the same height walking alongside them silently, then at some point it ran away and they were chasing it thinking Kevin was running off for some reason. The reason my friend yelled, "That's not Kevin" was to stop the last outdoor friend from chasing whoever was out there deeper into the woods.
We still have no idea who that was or why they didn't even speak."
This story sent a chill running down my spine.
Who was that?!
Perhaps figuring it out would be even scarier.
"Went hiking with my dad..."
"Went hiking with my dad one day over a ridge. A girl from the group in front of us tripped and slid down one side and was just able to hold on to the tiniest branch from the only tree around. Had she slid down all the way she certainly would be dead or massively injured!"
"I was trying to make my way across..."
​"I was hiking in Washington sometime in December. I was trying to make my way across a river but the bridge was out. I was walking along the shore looking for a shallow spot but couldn't find one. I saw some footprints leading down the bank, my thought was that someone was trying to do what I was doing and decided to track the prints to see if they crossed. It was not easy but I followed the prints for about a mile. As I approached what looked like a crossing I heard a loud BANG like a stick hitting a tree. I froze for a few seconds and heard no other noises. I just slowly back up keeping my eyes on the other side of the river. Could not shake the feeling that I was being watched. Got the hell out of there quick as I could."
There are few feelings creepier than the feeling of being watched. It makes you feel like you've been violated in some way.
Thankfully you got out of there!
"I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment..."
"I was hiking with some friends, and I saw a cluster of butterflies on the ground. I thought it was a magical, beautiful moment until I realized they were congregating on a pool of blood. It turns out that someone had been hiking on the bluffs above earlier that day, and had fallen off and died."
Sooo... still want to go hiking or camping? None of this changed your mind? None of it?
It was nice knowing you. I'll stick with my running water.
Have some creepy stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Have some experiences of your own? Have you also survived the hospitality industry? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments below!
| Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay |
Time is of the essence. And time is not definable. Those are lessons we learn as we get older; as times passes and fluctuates in front of us.
Time is always fleeting yet always catches up to us. I find myself shocked when I wake up on certain days and realize I'm a particular age of my parent that sticks out for me.
Like, how did that happen? I guess I should just be thankful I'm still here to witness it all.
Redditor u/TW1103 wanted to discuss the meaning... of time and all of its affects by asking:
What fact really puts the scale of time into an insane perspective?
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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