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"The customer is always right," is a wildly overused axiom that seems to be untrue as often as it's correct.

The knowledge and experience of a product provider often means they can give some pretty good advice when a customer is making wild demands. That is especially true for people making permanent modifications to someone's body.


The internet abounds with photographs of terrible tattoos that people decided to get for a myriad unknown reasons that we likely wouldn't understand even if we heard them.

Some are actually good ideas, just placed in the very wrong spot on the body (looking at you, gaping panther mouth about to clamp down on some guy's nipple, a beach in San Diego, 2014).

Some would have been great if that particular tattoo artist was up to the task. The execution just wasn't there.

Of course, many bad tattoos are the work of horrible fabrications of the customer, and a tattoo artist that didn't push back.

But for all of those existing regrettable tattoos there is a trove of the unmade. These are the ones that never graced the skin thanks to a few tattoo artist heroes who stepped in and confronted stupidity when they saw it.

pm1966 asked, "Tattoo artists of Reddit who have refused a client's request for a specific tattoo: What was the tattoo, and why did you refuse to do it?"

Some are actually good ideas, just placed in the very wrong spot on the body (looking at you, gaping panther mouth about to clamp down on some guy's nipple, a beach in San Diego, 2014).

Some would have been great if that particular tattoo artist was up to the task. The execution just wasn't there.

Of course, many bad tattoos are the work of horrible fabrications of the customer, and a tattoo artist that didn't push back.

But for all of those existing regrettable tattoos there is a trove of the unmade. These are the ones that never graced the skin thanks to a few tattoo artist heroes who stepped in and confronted stupidity when they saw it.

pm1966 asked, "Tattoo artists of Reddit who have refused a client's request for a specific tattoo: What was the tattoo, and why did you refuse to do it?"

Father Figure

"I'd just like to publicly thank the tattoo artist who in 1988 (on my 18th birthday) refused to tattoo a pot leaf on my leg. You are a saint."

-- jack_kels

Giphy

Plenty of Reasons There

"Some dude wanted his girlfriend's initials on his taint and requested a female artist to do it. We kindly denied it because..."

"a.) not 100% sure how that would heal and didn't want to deal with him coming back with issues trying to pin it on us"

"b.) our only female artist didn't want to go near some random dudes taint"

-- GoreTiciaAddams

For When You Need an Pop Culture Reference During Kinky Sex

"Lord of the rings ring around their butt hole. No thanks." - oldcoffee

"Speak friend and enter." - drironside

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS" - Brookeh1224

Giphy

Torqued Up Tidal Wave

"My artist who is a friend has had a few rough ones but the one he turned away was a guy that wanted waves I believe on his d*ck, which for it to look right the guy would have to be erect the whole time and he told him no."

-- Everythjngbagel

Bio-Framed 

"My tattoo artist says he once had a guy want a tattoo under his thumbnail, like he was gonna rip the nail off, then come in to the studio so he could get a tattoo that would eventually be protected by a new thumb nail."

-- bloodectomy

"Without looking up from his magazine, artist asks, '... help you?' She tells him, "yeah, I want to get 'PROPERTY OF BUCKLEY' in all caps on my lower back.'"

"Silence. Painfully slowly, the artist closes his magazine, and finally raises his head to look at them. Taking his time, he looks up the couple up and down, then asks, 'and this winner right here, this is Buckley?'"

She kind of just stammered and nodded, and the artist went back to his magazine. 'No. We're not doing that,' was all he had to say, considering the subject closed."

"Once they were gone, he looked over at me, realizing I had witnessed it all, and just said, 'f*ckin kids, man.'"

-- raging_a**hole

"Artist friend had a client who wanted a swastika on his chest. She agreed to do the tattoo, but disagreed on the placement. She said she would do it only if she could put it on his forehead. He refused. And left."

"She said that even if he did agree to it she have had refused because f*ck that guy."

-- ArcaninesFirepower

"The word 'filthy' across a 19yr old single mom's forehead (brought the baby with her to the tattoo shop). Took the time to talk about face tattoos and why she should wait to make such an extreme decision."

"Went on dinner break, came back and my co-worker had tattooed it on her. Oh well, I tried."

-- Rylan_Black

"A lady whose child recently died Wanted me to tattoo 'you should have saved her' on her chest. I convinced her to get the symbol for mental health (semi colon) and baby footprints instead."

"This woman was devastated, we talked a lot during her session. I always wonder how she is doing."

-- Grandnaguss

"Not a tattoo artist, but mine turned a request down. I wanted to tattoo one of my nipples as part of a piece on my ribcage. I wanted to put sunglasses above the nip tip and rays around it to turn my nip into the sun for it."

"Fortunately, they knew me well enough to say, 'Dude, you cried getting your ribcage done, your nipple would be even worse and it won't take the ink as well. I like the idea but no.'"

-- punkrockpizza

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Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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