People Explain How An Accident Completely Changed Their Lives
Reddit user NoFile9376 asked: 'What happened by a total accident but changed your life completely?'
Life can change in a moment, but sometimes, we're not even aware that it's in the process of changing.
Right in front of our eyes, we've taken a job, met a person, or purchased a product that will change our lives in a big way.
Or on the negative side, maybe we're having the unluckiest of days, where we feel the lowest of the low, only for it to lead to something incredible.
The point is, there's no telling what incredible thing is around the corner waiting for us, or what small moment will lead us there.
Redditor NoFile9376 asked:
"What happened totally by accident but changed your life completely?"
Unique Opportunities
"I went for a coffee with a friend before he went out to pitch a TV show in LA. He asked what I was up to, and I mentioned the comic book I was planning to write."
"His pitch went well and the studio asked if he had any sci-fi ideas. He pitched my idea, and a month later I was in LA with a bunch of agents and managers wanting to sign me."
"We got close with that sci-fi concept, and I worked in LA on and off for about a decade working on a lot of cool stuff that never got made, but I got paid very well, so I can’t complain."
"It was basically ‘Oceans 11 in space,’ and it still gets dusted off every now and again. It’s one of those things that everyone loves but never gets made."
"When the pandemic hit, I started writing comics and have been doing that for a few years now. I have a new movie spec script planned for the new year, so I guess we’ll be taking that out and see if anyone bites."
- MikeSizemore
Unappreciative Bosses
"The water main leading into the house burst, requiring the contractors to lay a new pipe from the street into the first floor. I had to clear everything out, and then go get jugged water to last a week for a family of four."
"I asked to take the afternoon off work so I could take care of this, and they said it would be a write-up for an unexcused absence."
"This p**sed me off to no end because I had recouped hundreds of thousands of dollars that my predecessor had lost and generally unf**ked their processes."
"Not really intending to quit, I rage-applied to jobs just to blow off steam and landed a new job with a $30,000 pay boost, WFH (Work From Home), and complete schedule flexibility."
- pinelands1901
The Power of Saying 'Thank You'
"I got into some trouble while very, very drunk."
"When I got sober, I wrote a thank you note to someone who treated me really well and urged me to get help."
"He was friends with the editor of the local newspaper and thought my letter was well-written. He asked if he could show her and I said yes, then kinda forgot about it."
"A few months later, the editor came to find me to offer me a part-time job filling in for someone."
"I've been working in journalism ever since. The pay sucks, but I love it."
- LizardPossum
A Smooth Career Redirection
"Getting my Class A commercial driver's license."
"I basically tried the majority of work that an individual can get into with a GED (General Educational Diploma)."
"I randomly searched the internet for truck driver jobs out of curiosity. The top of the list was a small form to fill out. A recruiter called me within five minutes. They set me up with a bus ticket to their training facility two states over and lodging for the duration."
"All I had to do was bring enough cash and clothes for a week. They paid enough to feed me the rest of the training. I had an over-the-road job lined up for me right out of training. All I had to do was stick it out with that company for at least a year to cover training costs."
"Boom, entry into a skilled labor field at d**n near no upfront cost, and a guaranteed minimum one year of incredibly valuable experience. This was back in 2008."
"And for what it’s worth. I didn’t even own my own vehicle yet back then. And I only tried manual transmission vehicles twice for maybe 10 minutes total prior to learning how to drive a 10-speed."
"Now, I can simply email or walk into a job that interests me with my resume and my experience speaks for itself. I don’t have to sell myself to an employer. They have to sell the job to me."
"I'm currently about to start up with a local company less than a five-minute drive from home, hauling mostly oversized loads up into and out of the mountains. It’s the highest starting wage I’ve ever had, with a guaranteed multiple dollars per hour raise once I demonstrate I can do everything they’ll need me to do."
"The moral of the story is, don’t be afraid to try something new or different. You might just be great at it."
- tumblevv33d
Going Surgery-Free
"When I was younger, I had a neurological condition called hydrocephalus, which required me to have a shunt in my brain to keep me alive, and every few years, it would break or get infected and have to be replaced."
"About 20 years ago, I developed an infection that my neurosurgeon refused to take seriously, so it wasn't properly diagnosed for about two years after I moved away from that hospital and ended up in the ER."
"Long story short, thanks to some faulty medical equipment that by some weird coincidence wasn't doing its job properly, while I waited for surgery, we discovered that I wasn't actually using my shunt and I didn't need it anymore. So surgery was canceled, and once the infection cleared up, I was sent home."
"It was a really, really awful couple of years, but it ultimately gave me my life back. I'm now 15 years surgery-free and as much as I hate the way it happened, I wouldn't change a thing because if it had happened any other way I would have just had another brain surgery, and then another, and so on."
- NotAngryAndBitter
A Mysterious Lump
"My mother went to the doctor for a routine exam and her doctor noticed a bump on her arm my mom passed off as a cyst. She removed the bump, which she also believed was a cyst, and sent it for a biopsy to be safe."
"Results came back and they weren’t really sure what to make of it. It wasn’t cancer but it wasn’t nothing either."
"Turns out she had a very rare cancer that appeared benign but behaved malignant."
"The doctors had no idea how to treat it, even reaching out to other doctors all over the world."
"She died two years later once it had spread all over her body."
"The kicker is they believe if the initial bump would’ve been left alone it wouldn’t have spread and killed her."
"It’s been two years, five months, and 17 days since she’s been gone, and I will never stop missing her."
- Khaleesi1998
A Second Chance
"I made a left turn instead of a right turn when I noticed a restaurant I liked had closed. I reopened it, and 35 years later, we are still going strong."
"It's not especially heartwarming, but it changed my life as well as my wife, my kids, and 28 employees' lives."
- bbqtom1400
The Choice to Stay a While
"I was working in a large state park as a guide/docent while finishing up my geology degree. I was only interested in science, talking about rock types and tectonics and whatnot."
"It got cold and windy FAST, and snow started coming down and soaking my clothes. I admittedly was not prepared and ducked into a cabin I came across that I thought would be empty."
"It wasn’t. There was a historical interpreter doing traditional chair seat weaving in the cabin. Fire in the hearth and all."
"He said, 'Take your shoes off and stay a while.' Let’s just say that MULTIPLE years later, I own one of the most respected furniture restoration businesses in the state and specialize in antique Appalachian rockers."
"I visit the old man in the nursing home weekly. I go out to the cabin once a month or so to relax and demonstrate to passersby. I took my shoes off and stayed a while."
"P.S. Geology is still cool."
- Most-Cow-2474
The Other Guy
"I accidentally accepted a friend request of (my now husband), thinking it was another guy I knew with a similar name. I was ignoring the request before."
"And the rest is history. We've been married for 12 years, now with two kids."
"The website was Orkut if any of you are old enough to remember it, lol (laughing out loud)."
- zenzephyr42
A Doubly Good Deed
"I was planning to spend $2.49 on a breakfast sandwich and go home to do some chores. They had a two-for-three dollar breakfast sandwich deal."
"I brought the 51-cent bonus sandwich and gave it to a homeless friend. He had a tiny stray puppy following him around and asked me to bring her to the shelter because he couldn't feed her and himself."
"She became my best friend for 13 1/2 years! I'll love you and miss you forever, baby dog!"
- JensElectricWood
It All Began with a Broken Phone
"I dropped my phone from my bed onto the floor and the screen (with the protector) COMPLETELY shattered, which is weird because I’ve dropped my phone from bigger heights and bad angles and there’s usually just dents in the protector."
"Anyway, I was out a phone and super broke, and I didn't have the money to get it fixed right away. None of my friends had extra phones so I posted on my then-company’s slack channel, asking if anyone had a spare phone I could borrow, just for calls and texts, nothing fancy, and I’d be super grateful."
"I was also going through a terrible heartbreak where I’d been love-bombed and then dropped in a second. It was just an awful time."
"So one person responded to my shot in the dark and offered this extra phone he has. I had no clue who he was or what he even did in the company, even though I have several friends in the company. We’d never met because we both worked remotely and no one ever mentioned him to me."
"Our departments were also very different so there was no interaction ever. I was also a bit confused as to why he’d offer a phone to someone he didn’t even know. I thought he was too trusting, lol (laughing out loud)."
"Anyway, he couriered me the phone, I ended up needing it for longer as I saved up, and we finally met up in person a few months later. Long story short, it’s been a couple of years, and he became my best friend and then my SO (significant other)."
"For the first time in my life, I know what healthy, unconditional love is, he is the embodiment of love that keeps on giving. I grew up seeing an abusive marriage so my idea of love and relationships was completely skewed (still learning in progress). But with him, my heart’s calm. He’s my biggest fan and my rock whenever the going gets tough. There’s no one like him. I don’t know anyone as generous in love as he is."
"I remember that time and being absolutely gutted that not only had I got my heart broken in the most miserable way but my phone freakishly completely broke from the shortest of falls, all in a matter of a week."
"I felt so unlucky for the longest time. But looking back now, I’m so glad my phone broke that day (and my then-bf ghosted me). Or there was just no way I’d have ever met the love of my life."
- fluffypoopkins
The Love of a Sibling
"My brother asked out a girl when they were 17."
"My brother started dating this random girl. He needed a job so he started working at the company where her family worked. Next year, I needed a summer job, so they got me a job at the same company. I liked the job and kept working at the company long after my brother and her broke up."
"At 21, I took a job in another state to further that career and moved 700 miles away from home. Now my partner, all my friends, my hobbies, everything that is my adult life is because of that move."
"My brother randomly dating a girl for a year when we were teens changed literally everything about my life."
- ColSurge
The Vital Wake-Up Call
"I almost failed out of college. I tried to up my GPA by doing research WAY too early in my academic career. I met a professor who didn’t even work at my university. I had a brief conversation with him in the lab and he said, 'You’d make a great professor one day.'"
"It changed the course of my life. I scraped by with my Bachelor of Science and was one of the top students in my Master's program. I got a 4.0 for my PhD with several first-author papers."
"Now I work for one of the top professors in my field, I’m talking top three percent."
"That conversation was over 10 years ago. Thank you, Dmitry. I would’ve never met you if I wasn’t failing."
- zagottamove
For the Love of Language
"I randomly decided to take German instead of French when in school as my foreign language the day before class started."
"I'm now a German teacher. It's wild how such a small decision shaped my entire life."
- zapolight
Meant to Be
"I went in on my day off work, thinking I had a shift that day."
"I didn’t but they were short-staffed for the lunch rush, so I stayed for a few hours."
"I ran into my childhood friend who moved away 15 years prior."
"We are now married with kids."
- bree-marie92
These stories are undeniably surprising, and it's incredible how such small moments created such big results in most of these Redditors' cases.
It's important to remember to never take our lives for granted, because there's really no telling what small moment will lead to greatest next phase of our lives.
Things People Have Learned Never To F**k Around With
"Reddit user ViolatingBadgers asked: 'What, due to experience, do you know not to f**k with?'"
There are just some things in life one does not mess around with.
Yet so many people do.
Don't eat laundry detergent.
Don't drive drunk.
Don't say Bloody Mary in the mirror.
All of these things can bring life-altering results many of us are not prepared for.
Life is a game of survival.
And sometimes it's pretty easy to stay the course.
A warning is a warning for a reason.
Redditor ViolatingBadgers wanted to hear the lessons we've learned about survival and avoidance, so they asked:
"What, due to experience, do you know not to f**k with?"
Don't mess with alligators or wildlife in general.
What is with these YouTube people taunting things with big, sharp teeth?
Stay Quiet
dont tell shut up GIF by BounceGiphy"If someone at work tries to badmouth someone else and they ask you about what you think about that person, JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!"
Kororo_chan
Bodies of Water
"Water. Rivers. Current. I'm a fairly good swimmer, and I wanted to swim in a river where the current seemed really tame. Boy was I wrong, just a small moving body of water dragged my poor body like a leaf in the wind."
guacamol705
"Do not go swimming in (or jumping over) the Strid. Hella undercurrents, several kolkgate (I don't know what it is in English but like water-carved potholes in rocks), slippery round boulders at the top, etc."
"The river seems narrow and innocent, but it's basically a big flat river turned sideways. There are bubbles all throughout the water so apparently you cannot float or come up as you aren't buoyant anymore. There are some cool YouTube videos about it."
7CuriousCats
You can feel it...
"Intuition. If something feels wrong stop. It doesn't matter if it's stepping out onto a snow-covered slope, pulling up to a sketchy gas station, or putting too small of a piece of wood in a table router, listen when your brain tells you 'This is a bad idea.'"
5hiphappens
"I read an article that intuition is your subconscious brain picking up on cues that you are unaware of. After I read that article I pay more attention to it."
CCrabtree
The Killer
"Heat. Your sanity is the first thing to go in heat stroke. You aren't even aware anything is wrong. You just know you're pissed, there's a weird buzzing sensation in your head/chest, and the world doesn't feel right. And then you're a zombie looking for anything to cool off with, and shortly after that, you're unconscious."
"It escalated too quickly for half a dozen rational adults to notice before exhaustion set in. Heat will kill you quicker than you think."
MikkelandDime
Stay Clean
Shocked Champions League GIF by Manchester UnitedGiphy"Not immediately washing and disinfecting an open wound."
slimpawws
"My mom knew a guy that had to have his leg chopped off because a cut got infected. It was insane. Chop. The infection kept coming. Chop some more. He survived, but he lost a leg. Spent a long time in the hospital."
FrostyIcePrincess
Do not play games with open wounds.
Infection is everywhere.
Be clean and safe.
Watch the Fall
Season 6 GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"Ladders. I worked in an ED at a major trauma center and the number of otherwise healthy people who came in paralyzed or soon-to-be-dead from falling off ladders was eye-opening."
StrebLab
Stay Alert
"Drowsy driving..."
"ETA: Back in 2015, I had an incident where I fell asleep behind the wheel."
"It was in mid-August, and I had fallen asleep on my way home from work after a 16-hour night shift because my job messed up the schedule (we couldn’t work more than 12 in a single shift). All I remember is I was driving, then I was waking up in a hospital 4 hours away from home."
"No clue where I was or what happened. I had suffered a major TBI and have been mentally different ever since. Had a pretty major concussion following the accident. It happened in the backroads of southern Idaho, and I was lucky to have come out of it with 0 broken bones. Everyone at the hospital was saying I was lucky to have survived. There were witnesses who saw the whole wreck, a couple of high schoolers on their lunch."
"I read the police report and witness statements, and according to them, my car rolled 6.5 times, ended up wheels up and I was partially ejected (laying half in and half out of the car through the window) my seatbelt buckle had broken as the car was coming to rest."
i_am_invictus
Trust Me
"My health. Getting older you rediscover all those old hurts. When I was 20 I hyperextended both elbows playing volleyball. 15 years later my elbows started aching in the winter. :( "
"Also my teeth. It falls under health, but not everyone thinks about the dentist when they think about health. If you are reading this please floss. It's a small thing that can make a huge difference later. Trust me."
kongwasframed
Friday Night
"Head injuries. I had a single friend that got into a bar room scuffle. He got knocked down and hit his head on a tiled floor. Got back up and said that's it for tonight. He lived alone and that was on a Friday night."
"When he didn't show up for work on Monday with a no-call, that raised some eyebrows. When he didn't show up on Tuesday, someone went out to his place and broke in after no answer. He was dead on the kitchen floor. The doctor guessed a brain bleed."
"I think about him every time I see a video of someone getting knocked out."
lestairwellwit
Trust Me
Girl Car GIFGiphy"Trusting people's blinkers to mean they are turning."
Ok-Avocado-5876
"Alternatively, trusting people’s lack of blinkers to mean they are going straight."
GhostRideATank
The turn signal situation is something that burns me.
HOW HARD IS IT TO USE YOUR SIGNALS!!
Drives me crazy!
People Recount The Most Profound Thing Their Therapist Ever Said
Whether it's in a traditional therapy session or not, we all need advice from time to time.
But sometimes during therapy, some truly profound statements may be made that the client will never forget.
Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What is a profound statement your therapist has told you?"
Searching for Reason
"'You're trying to rationalize something said by an irrational person. You won't make sense from nonsense.'"
- A_Random_Lady
Intentions vs. Actions
"We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions."
- codewarrior128
Unfair Compromise
"If someone can't or won't meet you halfway, that doesn't mean you go further. One-hundred percent of the time, that will lead to resentment."
- rainynotes
Negative Self-Talk
"Not profound necessarily, but she noticed I was very hard on myself and asked me if I would talk to others the way I talk to myself."
- suspicious_lobster6
"I was out with my little one, and I did something silly, so instinctively, I called myself an id**t."
"My daughter said, ‘Daddy, you’re very mean to yourself,' and now I think about that a lot."
- craptainbland
Simply Surviving
"She pointed out that a lot of the things I do or don’t do that I hate about myself are coping and survival mechanisms."
"They were important to surviving a s**tty upbringing, and now that I’m safe, they aren’t needed. Unlearning these traits/habits are hard. It’s not my fault, and I need to allow myself to recognize that."
- kmk89
"My therapist hit me with something when we were in that same vein. He said, 'You’re basing your way of living off the part of your life where you had no agency. You have that agency now.'"
- zharkus
An Overprotective Friend
"'Your anxiety is not evil or an enemy. It’s like an overprotective friend trying to keep you safe because it saw you hurt once. Don’t fight it; just prove it wrong.'"
- Laura5013
Be Proactive, Not Reactive
"'You don’t have to wait for something terrible to happen before you change your behavior.'"
- Olda**rollerskater
Constantly Growing and Changing
"'People are not finished products.'"
"It's really helped soften my outlook and attitude toward others and myself."
- yekirati
Level of Danger
"'Is this harming you or is this just uncomfortable?'"
"Not every difficult situation is harming us; sometimes it’s just a stretch, and those are uncomfortable. If it’s uncomfortable, it’s likely teaching you something and would be worth working through."
"I’m high-strung with anxiety, so this helped me calm down and look at difficult situations more objectively."
- CuriousTsukihime
Incompatibility Is Okay
"I never ever realized this before and it’s gonna make me seem like an id**t, but it was profound to me to hear, 'You aren’t compatible with everyone.'"
"I used to think that I could make a relationship work with anyone as long as the effort was there, but she opened my eyes to realizing that what makes someone special is when you both are compatible with each other because that’s actually a very rare thing to find."
- neoIithic
Breaking Generational Cycles
"Your ability to cut people off and self-isolate is a trauma response to never having anyone to depend on when you were young."
"I now understand why my parents were the way they were, and I no longer ascribe to them blame for my current mental state, and I am in the process of taking personal responsibility for my actions and not passing on generational trauma."
- Odd-Grapefruit4215
A Reality Check
"When I came back from Iraq, I was not in a good place. I was dealing with some serious PTSD, and started to withdraw from the world."
"Finally, I saw the VA was offering free mental health therapy for returning vets, so I gave them a call."
"The therapist came out to my place and we talked for a bit, and then he said something that made me think for the first time there was light at the end of the tunnel: 'You know, you're not half as crazy as you think you are.'"
"That one sentence helped me find my way back. I'll never forget that."
- Hewholooksskyward
Nice, But Optional
"Forgiveness of another person is not a necessity to move on, despite what people say."
"But you DO need to forgive YOURSELF for not being able to forgive the person who wronged you, otherwise, you’ll hold onto anger forever."
"Once you let go of THEM, forgiveness aside, your life is that much better."
- OkeyDokeyArtichokey1
Because 'Family'
"They pointed out to me, 'Many intrafamily problems boil down to bad manners.'"
- OpalWildwood
"I realized that my family is very good at maintaining appropriate social boundaries with other people but within the family interactions, they totally disappear. And we're supposed to put up with it, because FAMILY."
"Like, why do you treat your family s**ttier than strangers? How do we deserve less respect?"
- StickFigureSoul
Perpetual Worry
"Worrying about something makes you experience it twice!"
- jslay588
"My dad actually said this quote to me and it really resonated with me: 'Worrying does not relieve us of tomorrow's troubles; it only robs us of today’s joy.'"
- Life-Gazelle3499
"I like to tell myself, 'It looks like you’re writing a fanfiction again,' whenever I start imagining how something that could go bad might go and it starts to feel too real."
"It makes sense because what is fanfiction? It’s a made-up story that isn’t 'canon,' written by a fan imagining what they THINK will happen. That’s basically what every bad 'what if' you imagine in your head is."
"Or you can say that that scenario you just imagined is something YOU made up, which makes it fiction. It’s no more real than (name of the last fictional movie or show you watched). That helps me a lot, too."
- StreetIndependence62
It makes perfect sense that this is the advice that Redditors have held onto over the years.
All we can say, really, is we wish we could have all heard these and internalized them when we were young.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
- Eauxddeaux
Guard Birds
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
- GudatPickinUsernames
Desensitized
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
- Lord_Blackthorn
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
- ThrownToDiscard
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
- ResultJolly7112
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
- DisposableTires
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
- Soobobaloula
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
- joyfall
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
- Soobobaloula
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
- ahalfdozen6
Intellectual Awareness
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
- Kelbel2525
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
- Diggler149
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
- dolo_ran6er
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
- LetsJerkCircular
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
- lilmrs-t
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
- AngstyRacc00n
Hold Grudges
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
- mcbrian67
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
- DisturbedNocturne
Exposure Therapy
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
- throwrathebagelway
Debilitating Perfectionism
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
- Gremlin-o-Chaos
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
- sword_of_gibril
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.