My one dog, Juliet, is the worst. She will actually scratch at my leg and then when I turn to say "WHAT?" she will dramatically, a la Scarlett O'Hara, twist and throw herself to the floor. I can actually feel the vapors. Like really girl? Who else knows what I'm talking about?
Head First
Happy John Oliver GIF by Last Week Tonight with John OliverGiphyMy dog head butts me in the leg. She walks over, and head butts my leg. Then she holds her head against my leg and won't move until I scratch behind her ears long enough to please her majesty.
Cornered
My cat learned pretty quickly that if he messes with the papers on the counter, he gets attention. It's negative attention, but he gets it and apparently loves it because he'll sit down and get comfortable and just start flipping his paw through it like it's his paperwork. If I ignore that he escalates to biting off corners. He knows that'll get me every time.
Poop Gifts
Our dog bring us toys when she needs to go potty. And when you let her outside to the deck you have to tell her to go down to the grass, or she'll forget why she's outside and sit at the door. Smart.
Fighting Fur
Mine attacks my other cat. He knows if he does that I have to get up to break it up. I don't know how to break this cycle. If I ignore it, he gets frustrated and takes it out even worse on the other cat. People are like "Just ignore him", but I don't really want a full blown cat fight happening, fur all over my apartment, and my other cat being beaten up because my first cat is a jerk (who is currently curled up, sleeping contentedly against my leg).
Gnawing
guinea pig eating GIFGiphyGuinea pig grips the cage door with her teeth, shaking it so loud it sounds like an old washing machine on spin cycle.
See, these fools know what they're doing. My other dog, Rocco, he will stare at me. I mean like serial killer, no blinking, stare me down dead. Then every few minutes lick one lip. Just one. He's a bit much. Just like that guinea pig. Moving on...
Creepy Cat
Cat Ear GIF by swerkGiphyMy cat has found that licking my lips wakes me up pretty quickly.
Mine too! I don't mind the kisses though. I just give him the attention he wants. My fiancé says, he gets on my pillow during the night and stares at me. And he'll do that all through the night. He must get enough of me sleeping and can't wait a moment longer. Once I'm awake he will come near me and raise a paw to let me know he wants attention. Such a little gentleman.
The Mat
My new cat started scratching at my standing mat in my home office (NO!!!) so the second she scratched at the wood bridge I put in the kitchen to link the top of the cabinets for her, I gave her treats. I continue to reward her for scratching there, even if it's just attention. She will escalate to scratching at other things up there but none of it matters so I just give her attention for that. She has not touched the mat since so I guess it worked.
RESET
Oh No Facepalm GIFGiphyMy cat thinks she can "reset" the affection/attention levels by leaving and reentering the room.
If I leave my cat alone for a while, she'll eventually leave... only to come right back a few minutes later, pretending like it's the first time that day that she's seen me.
Funny thing is it works.
Popcorning?
Oh, I have 2 guinea pigs and they get my attention by flipping over their igloos, then popcorning on them.
I had to look up what popcorning was. Oh my god that's adorable!!
Tip: when you look up something, share it here.
Popcorning is the name for those crazy leaps your guinea pig does in the air, and there's a reason for it. If your little piggy is bucking, squealing, and just generally acting crazy, then you're probably looking at a popcorning guinea pig.
McUluld
"The Attention Spot"
White Dog GIFGiphyThe way our living area is set up, we have a short couch in front of our computers with a dog bed at armrest-height next to my partner. It's really only a big enough space for one dog.
We have a collie mix and a gshep mix. When the collie has decided the gshep has been in "The Attention Spot" for too long, he will run to the front door, bark a "Mailman is Here" alarm, and the gshep will run to the assigned Barking Position at the guest bedroom window.
Then the collie will casually claim The Attention Spot while the gshep frantically barks at nothing.
Clever little menace.
Little Noises
I stopped working in 2019 for health reasons, and my cat has gotten used to me being home every day. When she wakes up, she squeaks/yowls at me until I follow her to the couch, where I have to sit down and put a blanket on my lap so she can curl up and get her morning pets. She's got me trained pretty well.
I'm glad I'm not alone. But regardless of their suspicious actions, we'll never stop loving them and trying to vie for their attentions. Maybe not my cat. She likes to jump, from and to everywhere, and it freaks me out. I prefer she stay upstairs. LOL...
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YouTube
Twitter could relate far more than they'd like:
@MailOnline Loool me on my crush in the club— IV (@IV) 1536613013.0
@MailOnline We've all been there..— Dave (@Dave) 1536606094.0
Boy...he must be really pissed off at her.....she's really trying tho...😊 https://t.co/Hb7RFqexQ9 https://t.co/Hb7RFqexQ9— Shanti Singh (@Shanti Singh) 1536629195.0
@MailOnline I think alot of females have this issues!— lianne young CAC, CAT (@lianne young CAC, CAT) 1536606981.0
Many recognized the male lion's gaze from many football games on the couch...
When you’re just trying to watch the game #ignoranceisbliss https://t.co/rg8BkTEcjG— bailey bird (@bailey bird) 1536628460.0
Human females do the same thing the female lion doing ...he look like he trying to watch the game. 🤷🏾♂️😂 https://t.co/9VyiZkcS0L— Terrance L. Bankston (@Terrance L. Bankston) 1536733336.0
Consent is super important, as one Twitter user reminded us in a raunchily frank way.
When she's horny but can't say it 🤣🤣🤣 Dude be like, ain't gon' assume consent, you gotta say it bitch. Oh my hoen… https://t.co/gKZInFHQj2— LadyG (@LadyG) 1536751138.0
YouTube commenters also had a field day with the video:
Despite the lioness's best efforts, however, the male lion is eventually forced to simply step over her and move away.
Don't worry, lioness—we've all been there. We've all, very sadly, been there.
@MailOnline Typical male.— Carol Rosenberg-Fox/Belle AmbassacattoIsrael 🇮🇱 (@Carol Rosenberg-Fox/Belle AmbassacattoIsrael 🇮🇱) 1536606655.0
@MailOnline Just like humans!— boringfileclerk (@boringfileclerk) 1536606101.0
H/T - Daily Mail, YouTube