Sneaky Eavesdroppers Reveal The Most Shocking Things They've Overheard While Pretending To Be Asleep
We've all been there that moment when you decide, for one reason or another, that you're going to pretend you're asleep? Usually, that just means keeping your eyes shut to avoid whatever is going on around you, until you either fall asleep for real or everyone leaves. Occasionally, there is a magical moment in which the people around you take it as an opportunity to talk about things that they usually wouldn't say around you. Here, people talk about the most outrageous things they've overheard whilst pretending to be asleep.
Thanks to everyone who contributed! If you'd like to read more stories like this, check out the source link at the end of this article. Comments have been edited for clarity.
I remember way back when, I couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve, you know, being a little kid and all. So during this sleepless night where I guess my parents thought I was asleep, I heard my dad say, "where do you think we should hide the new puppy?" That was pretty much at the top of my list, so naturally I was excited that I was getting a puppy. They talked for a good 20 minutes about the puppy, saying things like, "how should we keep it from barking before he finds him?" before I dozed off.
Next morning, I discovered that my parents knew I was awake and just decided to mess with me. There was no puppy. I got a Gameboy though, so it wasn't too bad.
When I was 6 or 7 I remember staying up late without the babysitter realizing, whilst my parents were out. I remember when they came back home I was so worried about getting into trouble for still being awake that I pretended to be asleep. Mum came in the room asking whether or not I was awake (I stayed quiet) and then she just sat down on my bed. She was quiet for what felt like forever but was probably only a couple of minutes before she bent over, stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head whilst telling me how much she loved me and how much I meant to her and then she tucked the covers around me tighter and left. To this day it's my favourite memory of her and one I've never shared with anyone.
Her birthday is coming up in a month so I'm going to tell her, just need to figure out how to word it in a birthday card.
I was spending the night at a friend's house I'm a guy and she's a girl. I had brought my friend over because we were out partying, and we all slept in the same room. I was laying on the floor near my friend when I heard my friend Andrea call my name. Wanting to sleep, I ignored her not moving, to which she respond, "Ok, Andy I think he's asleep, come here." About 5 minutes later I hear the bed squeaking and her soft moans, one of them sneezed about 15 minutes into it, in which I responded, "Bless you." They immediately stopped 10/10 would do again.
Must've been about 16, 17ish, was staying at a friends house who was with his girlfriend. He was the first in our circle to have sex and he just loved to brag about it. How much of a natural he was, how surprised his girlfriend was that she was his first, all that clich bollocks. We all just laughed, let him have his fun, and got on with it.
Anyway, back to being at his place with her. I go and crash early on the floor of their room (in a sweet little blanket pile with her dog, it was great), I was just getting bored of him rampantly flirting at her like a brain damaged peacock. So, about a half hour later, they come in, and of course they start doing the deed. I honestly think they forgot I was there or something. I hear very loud kissing, a few batman grunts, a bit of whimpering - they had started and finished in less than a minute.
So I'm lying, curled up in the corner of their room under blankets and a dog, listening to my friend cry in shame while his girlfriend was finishing herself off.
That was a great night.
When I was a kid my mom would make my brother and me take naps for like 45 minutes. I pretended I was sleeping, and I heard my mom talking on the phone to my grandma. During the conversation I assume my grandma had asked what my brother and I were up to, because she said (my name)'s brother is sleeping, and (my name) is pretending to be asleep. I was like ...crap. She said she knew I was faking because my mouth was closed, and whenever I'm actually asleep my mouth is slightly open. Ever since that day, whenever I'm pretending to be asleep for whatever reason, I keep my mouth slightly open. Thanks for the tip, mom.
Weekend retreat at church camp - my buddy and another friend's girlfriend and I ended up in a room with two bunk beds. We were chilling, when I realized that I was the third wheel, so I powered down. First there were tests to see if I was awake, then she climbed to his top bunk, then kissing, then her moaning, then her telling him he should wash his hand. I got bored and did some fake sleep-talking. They laughed and continued, but they called it a night without rounding home. She left, and I figured it was best to not give high-fives till the next day.
I don't know why I waited until we were at his house; maybe she rode back with us. Still, it was my first time playing Super Nintendo, and as he handed me the controller that would introduce me to Yoshi, I asked him, "You did wash your hands, right?"
He was so thrilled to get to talk to someone about it.
"This dumbarse knows that we know he's awake, right?"
"I'm only friends with him because I feel sorry for him."
I played it cool for the rest of the night and then just never talked to him again.
When I was 8, on Christmas eve I overheard Santa eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Later, he opened the fridge and ate a large chunk of a cake and ran around the living room smearing the cake everywhere. Santa was our dog.
At a sleepover, "Do you think he's circumcised or not?"
It was a night after drinking with friends. I wasn't really pretending, but more trying to keep my head from spinning. I overheard my buddy say to my other friend, Say! I wonder how easy it is to smother someone to death.
I was in this messed up relationship with my ex husband when I was pregnant with my second kid. We had a roommate (female) but we would all have sex with each other because we were "young and free spirited" or something...
Anyway, I pretended to be asleep one night because I didn't feel like having sex that night and didn't want to turn anybody down or make up an excuse. My ex-husband and the roommate got to talking in the next room (the bedroom door was open so I could hear them pretty clearly) and she asked him why he married me anyway... His response:
"I just didn't know what else to do at that point. Seemed like the next logical step and I took it. I honestly wish I hadn't done it and I wish I was single right now living life, but now I have this stupid family and I'm not sure how I'm gonna get out."
Hit me real hard...
A French girl I met in a hostel came in to where I was sleeping and just sat there. I had just cut it off with her and I didn't want to deal with her, so I pretended to be asleep for a few minutes. She just mumbled random stuff, she was pretty drunk. Finally what got me up was when, in the cutest french accent, she told me she was going to set me on fire in my sleep.
I should have mentioned that, yes, I did sleep with her again after that. Sometimes you gotta do messed up stuff to stay not on fire.
I was drunk at a party and couldn't fathom the world so I lay down, closed my eyes in a dark room. I heard two of my friends come in, one came over to me and poked me in the ribs then said, "It's fine, he's asleep." They then proceed to talk about how both of them were cheating on their boyfriends and who at the party they wanted to get down with.
A loud fart followed by "oh sh-t!". And then some shuffling sounds..
My parents talking dirty while they were doing it.
I was sharing a room with a friend and his girlfriend for New Years and after all the partying and drinking he was horny. They thought I was sleeping so he began to touch her. Even though she was horny too, she didn't want to do it because I was there.
So they were talking for like 5 minutes about whether to do it or not while he was still working his magic fingers on her when suddenly she said:
"No, we really can't do it that would be so disrespectful for h... ooh yes ooohh like that... Ok, let's do it but silently..."
My friend said I'm a nice guy. Thank you man. May you rest in peace.
A screaming match involving the line, "I want you to say one nice thing about my kids, ONE!" Followed by silence and doors slamming.
My mum told a friend via telephone: I thought my husband was cheating, so now I do it too. I still don't know what to do. My father has not cheated and it's proven. My mum is just stupid, they're getting divorced now.
I was sleeping without a shirt. My dad told my mom I had a nice build.
I hope they didn't notice me smile.
Every time I've tried to pretend to fall asleep I ended up falling asleep for real. Darn it!
I pretended to fall asleep when I was about 12 because I heard someone coming into the room that my younger sister and I shared and thought it was my mom who would yell at me for being on my ipod at 2am. It turns out it was a robber (with a crowbar), he just peeked into the room and went out when he saw us in there. I'm really glad I didn't realize until the next morning who it was - I have no idea how I would have reacted if I'd realized some strange man was in my room at 2am.
I went to a college party. It was late, so I actually fell asleep. Woke up a few minutes later and an orgy was happening, so I closed my eyes and hoped I looked asleep. I did not get disturbed.
I pretended to be asleep at a sleepover, and heard my supposed friends planning to throw my clothes in the tree. Middle school sucks.
One night during high school, my friend and I got invited to a party. I didn't drive back then so my friend picked me up. All went well on our way to the party. On the way back however, he got pulled over. As we were pulling to the side of the road, I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping (since I was the passenger). Anyway, I hear the cop get out of his cop car, walk towards our car, he stops at the window but doesn't say anything. I can feel the brightness of his flashlight but I don't hear him or my friend say anything. After about what seemed like an eternity, I decide to open my eyes to see what's going on. That's when I see my friend, the guy who is driving, is pretending like he is sleeping too.
Afterward? So, after my initial internal "holy crap" moment, the cop, who was obviously messing with us, apologized for waking us up and asked us to step out of the car. He never said but I'm sure he suspected us of being under the influence, which we weren't (my friend and I were just being dumb kids, him more so than me, obviously). We fully cooperated and since we weren't out past curfew, we were soon on our way.
The reason the cops pulled us over? My friends car had a busted tail light. I asked him what did he hope to accomplish by pretending to be sleep-driving, to which he replied that he thought I had a smart idea and he should do what I did. He'll probably be glad to know that his most embarrassing moment is now on the internet for all to see.
"I hate you." -quietly, passionately, by my husband.
We are now separated and don't speak.
Note: while my husband was no angel, I have to say that he was the lesser of two evils in our marriage. Don't feel too bad for me; I deserved it.
I was dozing off in my bed with my girlfriend at the time when I heard her confess her love for me. She was pretty hammered, but she went into intricate detail about how she feels respected, enjoys the sex, and sees a serious future with me.
The next morning I got yelled at for not cuddling and told that it was a major issue. I don't think she even knew of her confession.
My mum did this once when a friend of her father came round to visit. She was tired and pretended to fall asleep on the sofa, cause she didn't want to be spoken to. Her father and his friend proceed to talk about the war (This is WW2 and they're Polish). This friend was sent to the border between Poland and Ukraine, and some villages were attacked by neighbouring Ukrainians for some reason I'm still not sure about.
He said they killed people by sawing them in half, and loads of other gruesome things she wouldn't tell me.
When I was in high school, I was practically a loner. Before high school I lived in central Florida and didn't understand friendships and romantic relationships because of constant middle school bullies lying and messing with me and stuff.
Anyways, I moved from big a city in central Florida to a small town in redwoods California. I moved when I was in 8th grade, and I just kept to myself knowing that I'll probably move again because of my dad's job so I thought there was no point in making friends. I was always keeping to myself and minding my own business, and I had a lot of sad thoughts and I felt that, (like in middle school), if someone learned of my sad feelings then they would make fun of me. So I had to act like I'm not sad. Since I wasn't good at socializing and I realized one of the easiest ways to be in a good mood was to hold my classroom's door open. I knew it was a nice gesture so I just did it, and I thought being nice meant being in a good mood, so I held a door open every time.
Every morning I would hold my first period door open. I literally just stood there and held the door open, sometimes sit but mostly stood there. You get the occasional thank you, and I would just nod my head and not say anything.
After a while in my head I would say "It's working! No one will know that I'm feeling sad."
I then started picking up trash if someone littered and threw it away, I picked up a pencil when someone dropped it, if someone was sitting alone I would sit next them (although I wouldn't say much), and I would say "good morning (name)" to everyone in my first period. In my mind it was foolproof no one will know I'm sad! Oddly enough, I didn't get bullied.
Fast forward to high school. Well surprise, surprise there were bullies. I was made fun of on my bus rides home because I was Asian, I was being pushed around in the hallways, etc. However I kept on doing my gestures, because you know, I did not want people to know I'm sad. Even though I did break down crying once on my bus.
Another fast forward to sophomore year. Every morning I would hold open the door to my high school's zero period. Which was really early in the morning, and I would almost always be the first one there. I was sitting there with my eyes closed to rest a bit, and I guess people though I was asleep. I overheard some kid making fun of me. Typical. Then I overheard someone defending me. Saying I'm a nice kid and stuff. It wasn't just one person, but multiple people. They were talking about how dedicated I am to being nice to people: holding the door open, picking up trash, picking up dropped pencils, sitting next to the lonely kids, etc. Soon after I started noticing people's kindness towards me.
One moment was when this one bully held me to the ground when there was no one around. He was saying, "show me how Asian people fight." Of course, knowing about expulsion, I refused to fight and let him have his way. Then out of nowhere, two tough looking kids shoved the bully off of me and told the bully off and not to mess with me. They were telling me how they got my back and stuff. To myself I thought that was odd. Soon the days after I started noticing practically every clique was defending me. On my bus ride a couple of kids were telling their country friend to apologize to me for always making fun of me being Asian. Some goth looking kids were wondering if I was alright and that I should smile some more since I had a great smile. I even realized that it was a bunch of football players that one morning when I was pretending to be asleep that defended me. Not long after I started smiling more, saying hello to everyone I knew the name of in the hallway, (which was a lot apparently), joined community involving clubs. Heck I was even nominated for the Sophomore class homecoming king. I ended up telling people not to because I wasn't good in front of crowds. I ended up moving like I predicted by the end of my sophomore year. Looking back, it was that moment that I realized for the first time that I truly mattered to people, and I didn't think as many sad thoughts since.
Thanks for reading!
Conspiracy theories are beliefs that there are covert powers that be changing the course of history for their own benefits. It's how we see the rise of QAnon conspiracies and people storming the capital.
Why do people fall for them? Well some research has looked into the reasons for that.
The Association for Psychological Science published a paper that reviewed some of the research:
"This research suggests that people may be drawn to conspiracy theories when—compared with nonconspiracy explanations—they promise to satisfy important social psychological motives that can be characterized as epistemic (e.g., the desire for understanding, accuracy, and subjective certainty), existential (e.g., the desire for control and security), and social (e.g., the desire to maintain a positive image of the self or group)."
Whatever the motivations may be, we wanted to know which convoluted stories became apart of peoples consciousness enough for them to believe it.
Redditor Lopsided_Confusion57 asked:
"What's the wildest conspiracy theory you fully believe?"
We can't say any of these are true but sometimes it's fun to speculate.
The time traveling cyclist.
"The Australian cyclist Mick Rogers is a time traveler."
"In the 2002 Tour Down Under, Rogers was in a great position in the breakaway and looking to move into the overall race lead but a collision with a motorcycle left his bike out of commission. With the team service car and mechanics way down the road, it looked like Rogers' chances were gone. Then a cycling fan, who just happened to be at that precise point in the road, offered Rogers his bicycle to continue on. The bike also just happened to be the *exact* model of Colnago that Rogers had been riding. It was the correct size, right down to things like the stem and crank lengths. It even had the same pedal system that Rogers was already using, so he could just clip in and be away. He finished that stage and took the race lead, which he held on to all the way to the end for his only career win in his 'home' tour."
"My theory is that in the original timeline, Rogers didn't win the 2002 Tour Down Under. He quit cycling in anger and devoted his life to theoretical physics and solving the problem of time travel just so he could arrange it to leave himself a spare bike where and when he needed it."
"I'm on board for whatever book or screenplay you write."
"Wait, so if Rogers motivation to find ways for time travelling was losing 2002 race, and if he won, then Rogers never found time travelling and our time line is forever devoid of genius like Rogers who would have found time travelling and attended Hawkins party."
"Yep, exactly. Our timeline is stuck with boring old Mick Rogers, 2002 TDU winner and 3x World Time Trial Champion while some other, much cooler, party timeline gets Mick Rogers, the second coming of Einstein. He probably even cures Covid for them."
The best money making stunt.
"Information is leaked from a studio about an upcoming project that p*sses off the fan base. The studio will then change things to keep the fans happy. The conspiracy is the original leak was just a lie to drum up free publicity for the project."
"This made me think of the Sonic movie. No way in hell were they going to make Sonic look that bad. Put out a fake trailer with him lookin all scary, everyone is talking about it. Wala. Take a bit to say you're fixing his look, put out a new trailer. You just drummed up tons of publicity since people are now following the story."
"I have mixed thoughts to that one."
"I mean 'No way in hell were they going to make him look like that.' Buddy have you seen the cash-grab BS that Hollywood has pulled off before? Hell, when was there a movie based off a game that wasn't exactly as bad as that Sonic looked?"
"I will admit that they may have done that as a publicity stunt, but I also admit that they could have thought it looked fine."
"Have you seen … CATS?"
"100% of the population believes that Putin has had people killed for political reasons but only a very small percentage of Americans believe that American politicians would ever do so."
"I mean, there's a reason the joke/saying is, 'The highest award a journalist can receive is being assassinated by the CIA.' There's probably been a handful who may've found out one too many things on the elites, and then had an accident before they could publish their findings."
"Ohhhh boy then south american journalists in the 60s-80s have been awarded way too much."
"MLK was literally murdered by the government."
"Lots of Black Panthers were too."
'"As part of the larger COINTELPRO operation, the FBI was determined to prevent any improvement in the effectiveness of the BPP leadership. The FBI orchestrated an armed raid with the Chicago police and State Attorney on Hampton's Chicago apartment.'"
"Quote from the Wikipedia article on Fred Hampton."
Conspiracies for the conspiracies to cover up the conspiracies.
"The CIA creates conspiracy theories to provide cover for the real conspiracies."
"It's actually kind of scary how smug anti-conspiracy discourse is used to derail actual conversations. A moment that chipped my faith in humanity just a little was when I was arguing with some people about Guatemala in 1954 and people denied my version of events happened 'because it's a conspiracy.'"
"Like no the parties involved admitted to it."
"If you don't know what I'm talking about and are from the USA you should have a google. But, basically the USA destroyed a democracy because it made a corporation sad."
"What's worse is when people will talk about how corrupt insert what politicians they don't like are, but then when you mention something that is actually confirmed to have happened, they pull the conspiracy theory card and act as if the idea people in power don't want to secure further power for themselves."
"We have been conditioned to think like that from since we started school though (I guess that's my submission for this ask post)."
"I think I remember reading about some CIA agents AMA. Someone asked him the question, 'What's the point of area 51?' The answer was, 'To keep your attention away from area 50 and 52.'"
"Obviously not an exact quote, but the idea of it has always stuck with me."
Extinct animals not actually being extinct for preservation.
"I think it is entirely plausible that the Thylacine still exists in the depths of the Australian mainland and the government knows it."
"It wouldn't be that crazy for misguided scientists to have moved or released a few in the late 1800s. Once the animal went extinct, they certainly couldn't reveal the existence of the mainland population lest poachers and local farmers destroy it. They also may have realized how significant the liability was for releasing large predators into farmland."
"Folks have found hair and scat samples that may be from the animal, but the university lab results always come back and say they are nonsense. That's probably the truth, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if the government was strong-arming them into reporting BS results. TBH if I was a conservation scientist it wouldn't take much convincing for me to fake a negative test."
Robert 'Curt' Borton Jr.
"I believe in a LOT of really boring conspiracies. Stuff like. 'This person was about to expose corporate/government corruption, and then died suspiciously.'"
"But if you want to go for a more intense one, Robert Borton, who I just learnt about, takes the cake. tl;dr guy disappears in Vietnam and really strange sh*T happens to his family."
"This guy, Robert 'Curt' Borton Jr. turns 19 in 1965, he goes to fight in Vietnam. He lands in 1966 and vanishes 19 days into his deployment alongside 3 other soldiers."
"In 1976, two guys approach his dad and claimed to work for the Department of Defense. They asked him to sign a letter that would change his sons status from 'Missing in action' to 'Killed in action' and he refused. Arguing the military would not confront people in public to sign documents. However, in the following weeks he was approached again by these two guys in public places and eventually signed it out of fear. He later received money for doing so."
"His sister then claims that every time they've seen Curt's official files, the entries keep changing, and his sister claims her phone was being wiretapped. A cousin believes that everyone was being watched, claiming that he was followed to work several times and that two men would follow him from his home to his company and then back. After this went on for a month, he decided to confront them, but they denied following him. After that, for about a month, he was not followed."
"The family is convinced Curt was part of a secret government operation that brought him from Vietnam into the United States. Diane believes that he has tried to contact her and other family members on multiple occasions. She claims that she has talked to a man who is a "secret returnee" and that they are allowed to come back to the United States, as long as they do not contact their families. She believes that this was done because the U.S. government had already claimed that all of the living POWs had been brought home; since they were still left behind, they could not become known to the public."
We may never fully know if any of these are true. Given the track record and history of most governments in the world, maybe some of these aren't so far fetched.
Only you can decide what you believe or not.
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I hate ghosts, even if it's Casper. My life is already stressful enough. I don't need to creeped out by spirits from the beyond. Shouldn't they be resting and basking in the glow of the great beyond instead of menacing the rest of us?
The paranormal seems to be consistently in unrest, which sounds like death isn't any more fun or tranquil than life. So much for something to look forward to.
Some ghosts just like to scare it up. It's not always like "Ghosthunters" the show.
Redditor u/Murky-Increase4705 wanted to hear about all the times we've faced some hauntings that left us shook, by asking:
Reddit, what are your creepy encounters with something that you are convinced was paranormal?
I can't definitively say I've come face to face with the spirits. But I have had some unsettling feelings in the dark. Shadows are just shadows sometimes, but who can be sure.
I hear it...Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy
"I was helping my dad clean my grandma's house after she passed and I went in and was trying to find a song in my phone and before I could I heard a cough plain as day come from down the hallway where her room was. She died of lung and throat cancer it was pretty crazy."
"When I was 5 I remember getting home from my grandpa's birthday party. For context my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time, so my parents had already bought his crib. I woke up in the middle of the night to find a women in a white dress and long black hair standing over my brother's crib. I managed to wake up my dad so he could take me to the bathroom. When I got back it was still there. It was only until morning when it disappeared. Every now and then I see a glance of what I assume is that thing running past the backyard."
"My best friend and his wife had moved to a new apartment. I came over to visit a few times, and each time I'd see the motion of a cat in my peripheral vision. Not the image of a cat, but a sense of how a cat moves. Anyway, one day I finally cracked some joke about the ghost cat in the place and his wife was instantly saying "See! See! I told you we had a ghost cat!"
"I worked graveyard shift in a dementia ward for 4 years and it was anything but quiet. I was working with a nurse one night when we both heard a resident say "excuse me." We looked around and no-one was there. I checked on the resident in question and she was fast asleep in her own room. Many of us also experienced someone whistling in the ward late at night and one nurse even managed to catch a video of it happening. It was unnerving to say the least."
"I once saw someone short walk by me in my house. They walked into the laundry room which only has one way in. I walked into it behind them and they where gone. I thought it was my little brother but I went to his room and he was asleep. I still have no clue what that was."
Now was everyone here positive they were sober? Just asking. Those are certainly spooky moments. I'd like some video footage please. Continue...
Reflectionsghost library GIFGiphy
"I was up at 3am when I was maybe 7 or 8. I looked out the window and saw a woman in a white dress run across my yard. I could see through her. She was transparent like the reflections on the window."
"So, my work place is haunted. I was having a really crap day, and as a cleaner, it's normal that me and my co worker will be the only ones left at night. So I was standing on the second floor, leaning on the banister for the stair case, when I heard this male voice say in my ear "you alright?" Clear as day. I turned around so fast and nobody was there and it scared the hell out of me."
"I remember as a young kid I usually use to sit in my bed and watch tv with my room door open while the adjacent guest bedroom next to mine would always have the door shut. I always remember seeing that door fully open and close by itself multiple times a day very slowly and gently. Never really bothered me much now that I think about it… but there were other creepier experiences I had in the same house that made me feel uncomfortable like I was being watched."
"I went to the Betsy Ross House as a really little kid in the early 90s. Normal house but I was confused why the tour guide never talked about the woman on the chair crying at the edge of the bed in Betsy Ross's bedroom. So I asked about it. No one else saw the woman at the edge of the bed. I figured it was just a wax museum since there was a wax statue of a man in uniform rolling bullets in the basement."
"Years later, I was looking at haunted Philadelphia tours to go on with a friend and the Betsy Ross House was on it. I was like "woah! I was there!" and looked into it some more. Turns out there is a woman at the end of the bed crying and a uniformed man in the basement that people have reported seeing. There is no way that 8 year old me would have known about either of these things."
hello kitty...hello kitty lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy
"I had this hello kitty Balloon In my bed room, it had a string and weight on it. So it was late, I had the lights on just Sitting on my bed. The Balloon turns, faces my door, slowly floats into my hallway and turns and floats into my sister's room. To this day I am scared of balloons."
They are among us and they like Hello Kitty. I'm probably rattling the paranormal cages and they'll come for me next, but I'm ready. I feel like this thread has prepared me.
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The past year brought about much anxiety and it's been a challenge to find the light in what has felt like perpetual darkness.
"What gives you genuine happiness?"
Food brings people together, and that combination brings much happiness for these Redditors.
"Plenty of my favorite food eaten together with fam."
"Harvesting fruits/veggies from plants which I grew myself and then gifting the harvest to others. I love to grow blueberries and hope I will have lots next year."
Compliments To The Chef
"Seeing people enjoy food that I cooked, especially seeing my fiancee smile while she eats my from-scratch chocolate chip cookies."
The Little Things
"It's difficult to tell the difference between genuine happiness and enough distraction. Food, like video games or playing the piano, makes me joyful while I'm eating it. I believe that the things that make me truly happy are the ones that happen infrequently, if at all, and are beyond of my control, such as being complimented or receiving physical contact."
Being alone with our thoughts can be comforting.
Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Being outside with no people around. Live in a city and I get up super early and just walk around before everyone else is out. Best part of my day."
In Between Consciousness
"I think it may be the only time I am ever genuinely happy when I am in that state of going to sleep where I think, but at the same time I am neither asleep nor awake. It feels like I am entirely detached from the physical world; free of fear, and pain."
"Don't try heroin."
"I've noticed that some things can make you so happy that they make you happy before (anticipation) and after (reminiscing) you've done them."
Being with loved ones, both humans and pets, can be the very definition of happiness.
"Weekend mornings sitting on the couch curled up with my husband and cat, both of us reading a book. It feels like quality time even though we aren't talking. Just a lot of peace."
"Your comment made me imagine a cat sitting on a couch, reading a book, wearing reading glasses and that made me really happy."
Hide And Seek
"Watching my cat get stuck somewhere stupid, then yelling for help. The best place so far was in a cabinet over the stove."
Our Inner Comedian
"When I manage to make my friends day by making them laugh. I honestly get so happy when they are happy."
What Brings Joy To Others
"I really love to hear about other people's hobbies/passions/interests. It never fails to make me smile."
"Equally, my hobbies/passions/interests make me happy."
I'm a kid at heart.
So it's not surprising that going to a Disney park as an adult brings out the inner kid in me.
Having grown up in Southern California, I get nostalgic about all my trips to Disneyland with my family and friends.
Eventually, I got a job there in entertainment, where I've made lifelong friends and grew as a performer.
My glee quadruples when I bring friends who've never been to a Disney park before and I see the excitement on their faces.
And what brings me pure joy is hearing from these first-time visitors that, after a long day of running around for 12+ hours, they tell me they had the "best day ever."
Walt, you did a good thing.
A lot of talk going on about women's bodies, isn't there?
Not necessarily with women front and center as part of the conversation, unfortunately.
One of the main talking points against these bans and laws being placed on women's bodies is the idea that it would never happen to a man. "If men could get pregnant, there'd be free abortions tomorrow," is a slogan thrown around quite a bit online. Is that true?
Let's ask them.
Men of Reddit, would you take a male contraceptive pill if it was readily available? Why/Why not?
Genuinely, you might find yourself surprised at how many men are willing and ready to do their part in controlling what goes on during contraception.
Click, Click...No Boom.
"Yes. Makes more sense to unload the gun than shoot at a bulletproof vest."
"Without a doubt. I hate the idea of a vasectomy...nervous about the procedure. But I'd 100% take a male contraceptive pill"
Both Parties Are Making A Choice
"Yes. I world prefer both genders have birth control and that both are actively using it to give the best possible chance of no accidental pregnancies."
What Have Women Been Going Through?
"Honestly I would because I hate the fact how it f-cks with my girlfriend's body. And I rather deal with it than her"
"Absolutely ruins my day when I think about what a hormonal disaster the implant has been for her. It doesn't even bother her that much, but why should she have to deal with any of it at all? Saving up for a vasectomy so it can all just be done with."
Some men are not for a male contraceptive.
Hear them out.
"Think I'd probably still rely on rubbers. Shooting a load without one and relying on it being blanks... I'd be too paranoid about it"
"Rubbers will still help against things OTHER than pregnancy too - so, wearing them is still a good idea"
Wait, What Day Of The Week Is It?
"Oh yes 100%. The only reason I'd be hesitant is i'm very likely to forget"
"Yeah my ex couldn't even remember to buy condoms so not sure I would trust him with a pill. I also wouldn't trust myself with it either, hence the condoms :D"
What's It Doing To Me?
"If it had the same side-effect as the female one and affected my mood or my libido? F-ck no."
"Not all methods have that effect on women. There are literally hundreds of contraception, it's finding the best one for your body."
"I imagine that if men were taking contraception there would be triple the research into making sure you guys were A-OK"
It's All In The Conversation
"Personally, I wouldn't take it. The pill messes with your hormones and that's why I don't expect a woman to take it and also, that's why I don't want to take it."
"If she does, because she wants to - ok. If she doesn't, because she doesn't want to - ok, too."
"If I happen to hook up with someone, I'll wear a condom, because pregnancy isn't the only thing to prevent."
"If I am in a relationship and my gf tells me that she doesn't want to take the pill (anymore), I don't have any right to argue with her and that's why I'll wear a condom."
"I don't care if it "doesn't feel so good" - for me, the best thing about sex is the shared intimacy."
However, really, it's the man in all of us that wouldn't mind shouldering some responsibility in the child-baring years of our lives. Cheers to that.
So Long As It's A Unity Effort
"Yes, I have this theory that every man's phone alarm would go off at the same time at the bar, and we would raise our bc pill in the air to cheers all taking it at the same time"
Why Make Them Do Something You're Not Willing To Do?
"Abso-f-cking-lutely YES a million times yes!!!"
"Straight away, it would be a d*ck move if I expected my girlfriend to take stuff if I'm not willing to"
...Is That Pun Or...?
"Yes! My wife has been carrying the burden of birth control for 11 years now. Lots of pain, discomfort and other effects over the years, its time men can share the load."
We won't know what the future brings. Science at this point makes it feel like anything is possible, so in the next century? Who can say?
Be ready, men. It's our turn, next.
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