Recently, Reddit user Valar_Morghulis888 asked, "Police officers of Reddit, what's the weirdest thing you've caught teenagers or kids doing that is illegal but you found hilarious?"
People from around the world came together to answer with their own funny stories.
Most of the answers were from police officers...
1. I was called to a residence where the complainant stated that a child from down the street had brought an item to their house and the she was at a loss.
Upon arrival I made contact with complainant and she relayed this story. "I was washing dishes and I looked out the window where all the girls (neighborhood girls between 6-9 yrs old) were playing on the trampoline. They were using a large rubber penis shaped device to hit each other. I ran out and grabbed it and turned it off"
The kids had no clue what it was and in their defense it was purple with sparkles and other inlays. Kinda pretty if not for the fact it was a 10" rubber dildo.
Well, I secured the item in an evidence bag and no crime having been committed I made a command decision to return it to the owner. I rolled it up in said evidence bag in such a way it would unroll when held by the top. I then knocked on the dildo-owners door and when she answered I snapped it down. Using my most curt cop voice I said. "Ma'am your daughter secured your personal item and was accosting your neighbors children with it about the face and neck. At this time your neighbor does not wish to pursue charges, however I will need you to sign this evidence form (it was very detailed description) so I can return your personal item."
I have never seen someone show so much embarrassment and humiliation as that lady did. She could not even speak or look at me. The best part was this other lady that was deeper in the residence that kept insisting on knowing what was going on.
2. NSW Police officer (Australia), 7 years.
We got a call about kids (probably 11-12 year olds) jumping across back yards. They were looking for things to steal, I guess.
We searched for them for about 15 minutes. Just as I was starting to get bored, I hear laughing coming from a drain pipe. It's about 4ft tall. My mate and I decide to head in. About 30m down the tunnel I come see this kid bent over on all fours, pants down around his ankles. His mate is bent over, sitting on his back spreading the first kid's butt cheeks. There is a 3rd kid kneeling next to the first kids butt holding a lighter.
They were in the midst of doing blue angels (lighting farts) in a dark tunnel...
I had no fucking clue what to say.
We told them to come out of the drain with us. I advised them not to tell any of their other friends what they had gotten up to since they would probably get the wrong reputation and drove them within a block of one of the kid's houses so the parents didn't know they had been caught
3. I got a call about two kids (teenagers) smoking weed in their parked truck down by the duckpond. You know the one. Anyways, I contacted them and they were very respectful and insisted on filming me on their cell phones while I spoke to them. I told them I wasn't interested in their weed (still illegal in my state) but I wanted to make sure they got home safe.. That the driver was sober enough to operate the vehicle. I did basic FST's on the driver and determined he was good to drive, all the while his buddy filming every movement and interaction, so I decided to have some fun. By the end of the evaluation I had the nervous driver doing the YMCA, sprinkler move and a janky ass version of the robot before he finally realized what was happening. His buddy filming realized right away and his defensive lawyer camera man posture dissolved into a stoned kid that was now having a good time again. The driver broke down and busted up laughing before shaking my hand and hopping back in his truck. The camera man gave me a fist bump and just said "thank you" in a way that I took as "wow, good to know some of you are human".
It's annoying that we have to live with this stigma that gets portrayed by popular media, and quite frankly some of us deserve it. But it's still nice to know when you get through to someone, I mean really alter their perception and break down a barrier put up by others. Cops are here to make sure people don't hurt one another, that's it. If your going to hurt someone else, even if it's just a strong possibility... I'm your worst enemy. But if your just swaying from societal norms (that change like the weather) and being yourself... Have at it man, you only live once.
4. It wasn't illegal, but really suspicious. I was a cop in the air force. We had just gone into a higher FPCON (threat level) and around 11:00 at night I saw three people in an empty dark field near some power lines with shovels and a garden hoe. My partner and I decided to stop them and see what was going on, because it didn't look like civil engineering or anyone that should be there at that hour. So we go up, see that they're all about 14-15 years old and they're all sweating and out of breath. We ask what they're digging for, and the say there weren't digging, which after looking around we didn't see any dug up dirt. So my partner asks what they're doing, and the hesitantly answer that they were LARPing. One of their dad's shows up and scolds them, telling them how shady they look, apologizes to us and we send them all back to the dad's house, which was about a hundred yards away. I hold back my laughter until I get back to the car, where I have to explain to my partner what LARPing is and why I'm laughing.
5. Not illegal but certainly weird:
Got a noise complaint call where the neighbors inform dispatch the parents are out of town and suspect underage drinking and or possible drug use. (These types of calls are the worst because you can almost guarantee someone it's puking in the back of your car and you'll have to write a butt load of local ordinance paper). We roll up, throw the overheads on to scatter as many as possible and make a slow walk up to the front door. We play the "nobody's home" game for awhile until one of the kids lets my partner in the back door.
We subsequently find around 12 teenagers and what appears to be multiple bottles of rum and vodka as well as several baggies containing marijuana and some pills. Upon further inspection, we find the liquor bottles have been emptied and filled with water, the marijuana is actually oregano and parsley and the pills were just aspirin. They were having a pretend party to put on social media but the strongest thing in the room was a Redbull.
Continue to the next page to hear more hilarious stories. This time from non-cops.
Some answers weren't from cops, but were nonetheless priceless...
6. My dad is a goofy fun guy. He's been a cop for almost 30 years now and he loves his job cause he gets to be out in the community and make a difference.
Anyway, he gets a call one night about some teenagers vandalizing a park. Dispatch lets him know that its a lady that calls 24/7 thinking she's the neighborhood watch. So, as he cruises in towards this park, he comes in with all his lights blacked out and watches from a distance. After a couple minutes of watching, he realizes these people are playing hide and seek. They also look a little older than just teenagers. He gets out of a car and sneaks up to some of them hiding in a group behind some trees and bushes. My dad hunkers down behind them and one of them looks back and sees him. The kid freaks out and starts to run and my dad grab's him and says "Dude shut up or the other team will find us!" The guys crack up cause now they realize my dad is down to win this game. He ends up playing hide and seek with this group of 21 year olds for the next hour.
7. I have a similar story about a cop being cool. I work at a BDSM shop in thevery area of my town between the really nice and really bad parts. Two on duty cops came in, and were really curious about what everyrhing does. I spent an hour explaining ball crushing devices, speculums, floggers, clamps, you name it. We then walked over to the dildo section and I warned the female cop to be careful of the purple one on the end, as it shocks you. 'Really?' She asked, very curious. So naturally, I asked her if she wanted to try it. She grabs it and screamed at the top of her lungs while I giggled furiously. I did warn her. The best part though? She bought a blindfold and a hog slapper with the word PIG cut out of it, so it would leave a bruise with the word pig on it...
8. My brother was a cop who worked nights in Minneapolis. One snowy night near the UofM campus he noticed a car weaving, so he pulled them over thinking there would be alcohol involved. Nope it was a car full of deaf people having an argument which included the driver..he just told the driver to not sign and drive...
9. My brother was once jumping his bike off the end of the public boat dock behind the city hall which also housed our police station, they had it tethered so it wouldn't get lost on the bottom.
A cop came out, watched for a while and said, "I'm fairly certain something about that is illegal, but I can't figure out what and it looks like fun, so be safe" and walked back inside.
10. Back in high school we were in a parking lot blasting music with the doors open on the car. Cops pull up and we turn down our music, realizing what they actually showed up to see was just some kids having fun they just yelled "Hey! Turn it back up!" Gave us a thumbs up and left. Best cops ever.
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