There's a dark part of us which revels in a good, ol' fashioned verbal or physical smackdown. You pull up your chair, edge as close as comfortably possible, and watch some punk get what's coming to them. While it may not always be you delivering the deserved final blow, the world is full of extremely talented and skilled individuals, ready to give the jerks of planet Earth what for.
And we're here for it.
Reddit user, u/MapleMemed, wanted people far and wide to come together in our wicked enjoyments and share:
Teachers Probably Didn't Mind Too Much
7th Grade Science.
Bully...almost more of a bullys henchman, said something about a quiet kid's mother. Quiet Kids mom was dead. Quiet Kid also apparently studied boxing. Who knew?
"What did you say about my mom?" wham What did you say about my mom? wham Bully Henchman was so shocked he did nothing and took the two straight punches to his face. I don't think he got in trouble. Happened before the teacher came in.
Isn't That The Plot To Every Clint Eastwood Movie?Giphy
Watching my 72 year old father beat the piss out of a guy who tried to steal my mom's purse.
Wise To Leave Everyone Alone
Was riding the bus home from school one day. Bunch of a--holes messing around in the back throwing food and other junk. A quiet, overweight kid sat in front of them, minding his own business when one of the a--holes thought it would be funny to shove an old sandwich in his face and call him fat boy.
Quiet kid stood up and knocked him out in a single hit, then grabbed his bag and walked up to the front of the bus and got off at his stop as if nothing happened.
Don't Look Back When You're Ahead
Yuppy frat boy in an econ course I was taking my freshman year got caught cheating. At my university, we all sign a contract agreeing to their honor code policies, and cheating is an automatic expulsion. But, the professor decided to be nice, and was just going to give the kid a zero on the exam.
Frat kid doesn't think that's enough, and it turns into an argument. Kid starts saying how "in" his family is at the university, and how none of this matters because he'll just "pull some strings". Long story short, our professor is actually close friends with the chancellor of our school. Not only did the kid get expelled from the school, but they somehow got him into legal trouble as well for some of the comments made in class that day. I don't know what was said that could have been used against him, but the kid ended up in some deep sh-t.
Choose Your Opponents More Wisely
There was this guy who was part of our group in college. He was an a-- but he was one of the guys' brothers so he hung out with us a lot. Whenever he would get drunk he would try to pick fights. We would just shake it off and ignore him.
One of the guys hosted a pretty big NYE party. As it goes, this dude got drunk and tried to pick fights again. People were getting uncomfortable. There was one guy at the party who was about 6'4 and built like a tank who was just not having it. He waited to be confronted and then immediately carried the guy outside and threw him down on a stair and broke his leg.
He stopped picking fights after that.
Thank You For Your Honest Admission
Me drunk af on a party bus for my cousins 21st. Being a complete a-- because I was letting my brother who had issues with someone get me worked up on his drama. Got in a huge brawl outside of one of the stops and decided to take a shot at one of the guys I didn't like. Hit him with everything I had. I mean EVERYTHING!
I literally broke my f-cking hand on his face. He got up, looked at me, and calmly said "You just f-cked up."
He was right.
Greatest Weapon Is Your Brain
This is low key, but I enjoyed it:
My first week at a white collar job (my first such job), and we were in the middle of a department wide meeting - about 17 coworkers and supervisors altogether.
The person leading the meeting asks a question of no one in particular, and several of us answer. My answer differed from the rest. One guy turns to me and says: "let's leave these questions to the people who actually have a masters degree, shall we?"
I looked at him and said: "I have a masters degree." The room went silent, except for one guy who loudly 'ooohed.' I had given the correct answer, to top it off.
Don't Step Outside Your Comfort Zone
Watching a middle schooler think she's tough enough to pick a fight with a h.s basketball player get thrown to the floor and nearly get punched in the face.
One of those moments when you realize why most schools go grades 6-8/9-12.
Suddenly, You Have Everything To Lose
My cousin was walking home one day when a guy pulled a knife on him to try and mug him.
My cousin apparently just laughed in his face and then proceeded to beat the crap out of him. My cousin then walked home only to realize he had be sliced up in the arm.
Don't mess with ex-military with nothing to lose.
Don't Try To Trick A Trickster
This was at my old job a few years ago. Hispanic woman cussed me out for not letting her use a three year old expired coupon, calling me racist, so I called up my Hispanic store manager.
She was PISSED, there was a brief screaming match before the customer finally slunk out. Boss said she couldn't wait to get a call from corporate about it, she was ready to go over it; her biggest pet peeve was people using the race card for stupid sh-t.
When You Can Impersonate Jason Voorhees...
Not as good as the other ones here, but I still thought I'd share
Me and my friend group live in Australia so don't be confused when I say we're 12-13 years old in year 7
We're all around 5-5'8'', except for out American friend Tyler who's about 4'5". Right after we had got our school photos taken, all of our year were waiting around an area tucked away in the back of our school. Tyler stole my friend Nick's (whose about a foot taller than Tyler and we're all kind of scared of) water bottle and started attacking Nick with it cause Tyler's a bit of an a--hole.
I started recording because I knew what was gonna happen next, Nick turned around and coincidentally, as I was watching through my recording phone, my phone slipped from my hand and I caught it without dropping it, but during that half a second of time, Nick Jason Vorhees styled picked Tyler up choking him and threw him onto the ground. Tyler didn't speak another word to Nick once that day and I always watch the video at least once a week.
Study Your Craft. That's All You Need To Do.
I didn't see this, but a 5'2" friend at work told me about when he went to a club with his friend (a 5' Asian guy) and parked in the alley behind the club. When they came out, there were guys trying to break into his car.
"Hey, leave my car alone."
"Yeah? What are you going to do about it?"
Well, turns out the Asian dude was a black belt in 3 martial arts. When they attacked him, they had zero chance. He singlehandedly left three large (6'+) criminals laying in the alley with broken arms, legs and ribs and drove off.
Don't. Mess. With. My. Employees.
Working at the local supermarket while in high school. We had an old guy who collected the carts. Then to 'help' him we hired a mentally challenged guy, early twenties. Terry was well over six feet tall but he was like a child. The most kind-hearted guy I ever met. The checkout girls loved him.
One day we got robbed. Guy came in and while the till was open he reached over and grabbed a fistful of cash. He would likely have gotten away with it too if he hadn't made one fatal mistake - he pushed the cashier. One of the already mentioned checkout girls.
Well Terry was a good distance away, but he saw it and instantly he was moving like Lawrence Taylor. The thief made it like 100 feet outside the door and just around the corner before Terry tackled him. I'm guessing they hit the ground pretty hard. A couple of managers ran after them and then the cops showed up. Then the ambulance.
A few minutes afterward, Terry came back with the managers and a couple of cops. Apparently the managers had to pull Terry off the thief.
Who Are The Tough Guys Afraid Of?
Friend of mine used to own a pretty big bar that would probably need three bouncers on big nights due to how rowdy it could get. He only had 2 though. He had a policy where the bouncers were not allowed to use throws if the drunks got violent. Too dangerous on such wiggly folk.
One bouncer not only ignored this but would do it to show off. When confronted after nearly killing a guy on a throw gone awry the jerk got physical and found out why there wasn't a third bouncer. The scrawny looking owner was actually jacked and a retired marine.
Don't. Touch. The. Drums.Giphy
There was this guy who played drums all the time in Hawaii on the city strip. Nice guy, never chatted much except for a wave and to throw him a few dollars. Some drunk tourist decided it would be fun to mess with his drums. Guy gave him so many chances to walk away. Drunk tourist winds up for a punch and the dude just knocked him out in one punch. I just stood there and my buddy had the presence of mind to tell the guy to pack his sh-t and leave before the cops come. Guy was pretty f-cked up and we helped him till the ambulance came. I'm pretty sure with the way that his jaw looked it wouldn't be a short recovery.
Don't Put Pride In Anything That Can Be Destroyed
My high school boyfriend and my older brother. My freshman year of high school I met "Scotty". He was a little on the weird side, a scene kid, but he was nice enough. Until the day he decided to hit me. I said something he didn't agree with and in retaliation he slapped the bejeezus out of me. If there was an award for best b-tch slap then Scotty won it. My head snapped back, saliva flew from my mouth, tears formed in my eyes.
We had had been in the car, sitting in traffic behind some accident or other. He kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. I sat down on the side of the road and called my brother because I wasn't ready to deal with my mother's reaction.
My brother showed up in his Jeep, held up traffic on a Friday afternoon to make sure I was okay. He had even stopped at the store and bought me a bag of frozen peas for me cheek. We drove on, the car was deadly silent. My brother was steely faced, white knuckle gripping the wheel, pure-white anger in his eyes.
We drove past our road and kept going. He pulled into Scotty's yard and stormed up to the door. I stayed in the car. Scotty came out, five foot seven to my brother's six foot three. My brother grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him a good foot off the ground. I didn't hear what was said, all I know is my brother never had to hit the kid, whatever he said to him made Scotty go pale and shaky.
Brother laid him down on the front porch, came back down, got in the Jeep and wrecked that boy's front yard. Tore it the hell up. Scotty's dad was one of those guys who won awards for his yard.Scotty had to explain to his dad why his yard was messed up. His parents called and apologized for their son's behavior. We never heard another word from Scotty.
One second. One moment. One decision.
They can change... everything.
Change happens with and without notice. Life happens instantly, so we have to learn to keep up.
These are all lessons we learn too late. We need more wisdom when we're younger.
We can make our lives better from the smallest decisions without knowing. But, let's start knowing.
Life will be the better for it.
Redditor ChrisVIII wanted to discuss the best ways to make living better, in the most simple of ways.
"What improved your quality of life so much, you wish you did it sooner?"
Pay attention in school.
Don't drink and drive.
Two very small and life altering decisions I wish I could've done better.
"Walking. After years of trying to run, I simply started walking. 5-7 miles a day in good weather. It is literally life changing in terms of mental and physical health." ~ Merlin560Giphy
"Adopted my block. (adoptoneblock.org) Instead of being sad about trash everywhere, I go out a couple times a week with a grabber and a bucket and just clean it up. Fresh air, a chance to connect with neighbors in a positive way, eyes on the street, neighborhood looks nicer and feels safer, zero downside."
"Adoptoneblock might only be in Oregon, but a picker is like 20 bucks for a good one (I recommend Arcmate brand; they're metal inside and last forever) and 5-gallon buckets are everywhere. Even if you only do the block around your house, it makes a huge difference. Imagine if every block got adopted." ~ binkkit
"helping people out"
"I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do." ~ VinnyRuns
"Holy sh*t me too! I used to do hair and eventually once I was working for myself I would say yes to literally everything all the time. Including 'helping people out' and stuff like that. I loved making people happy but I eventually got more and more miserable and ended up with a pretty heavy drug addiction."
"A bunch of years later and some really helpful therapy and I work a job that I actually love and no longer do hair for anyone other than my girlfriend or very close family. Only took 16 years of doing something I didn't really love to finally break and make the changes I needed to get what I want out of life." ~ arcaneresistance
"Taking a yearly vacation. My family never traveled growing up so I didn't know what I was missing out on but I have a good paying job with time off benefits and my wife and I have been taking a vacation every year since we got married, even if it's just something simple the time away from the usual day-to-day does wonders." ~ brshimp
"Turning off all push notifications except for essentials like financial apps or important contacts." ~ cyan_reynoldsGiphy
I'm learning so much already.
And HOW do I turn off those notifications?
"Drinking water first thing in the morning and through the day." ~ FuriousBebochoGiphy
"Swallowed my pride and got a blue collar job. For almost 20 years I followed my mother's advice, work inside so it's warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's warm outside. Now I deliver packages outside and the weather doesn't bother me. I have no boss on my shoulder and I can do my job however I want." ~ veldrinshade
"CPAP machine. If you snore at all, you owe it to yourself to get a sleep study and see what is going on. It literally changed my life getting one. I went from constant caffeine throughout the day just to function to feeling rested for the first time in years. Especially if you are overweight like I am, your heart is stopping multiple times an hour as you struggle to breathe while snoring."
"It sucks getting used to the machine (especially if you have to wear the full face mask), but man that first night of actual deep sleep will be life changing. I cannot recommend it enough and I have convinced at least 5 people that I know to get one and they all say the same thing, should have done it years ago." ~ bonez59054
The Top View
"Quit my job and moved to the mountains. I realized I cared more about what I did with my free time than whatever work I did, so I got a job where my SO and I wanted to live. We live in a cute mountain town now and every day watching the sunrise at home gives me 1000% more happiness than anything ever in Illinois." ~ starciv14
For the Zzzzzsss....
"A good bed. Game changer." ~ DividebynegativezeroGiphy
Water and bedding are essentials to happy living.
Don't be afraid, you can always start doing better now.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
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