27 People Share The Most Legendary Thing That Happened During High School.
The high school experience can be many things: awkward, exciting, hilarious and horrible all at the same time. But occasionally, something happens that could only be described as 'legendary'. Here, people share the most legendary stories that happened during high school.
1/27. A student accidentally butt-dialed his mother while the class was watching Platoon.
The SWAT Team showed up.
2/27. This happened at my school in the UK around 2002. We had an indoor swimming pool at my school that was always really cold, and one particularly freezing December day, a bunch of us decided that we really didn't fancy having to do swimming for PE. So we dared this kid called Todd, who was pretty crazy, to crap in the pool. He said he would do it for 10. We had a quick whip round and managed to get the money pretty quick between us.
To avoid getting caught, he decided to crap into the pool from the roof, through a sky light. A lot of the buildings in our school had staircases on the outside, so it didn't take much effort for a couple of us to give him a leg up onto the roof. Once he was up there we ran back down to the pool and looked through the windows.
Sure enough, after a couple of minutes, we saw two or three of Todd's a** apples drop into the perfectly still pool, causing a gentle, disgusting, but oddly beautiful ripple. There was no PE for us that day
3/27. We have a school news channel that sometimes did live segments about new stuff going on. This was every morning in home room. One morning they are doing a walk through of the new part of the school just built. They walk into a staircase and some girl is sitting in some kids face on the floor. This is at 8 a.m and the entire school saw it.
4/27. My middle school was on a hill and the tallest building in the area. During fleet week, the Blue Angels flew (what must have been) 100-200ft above it. Shattered like 30 windows on the top floor of the school.
5/27. We had this librarian who was a real stickler. If anyone made any noise whatsoever while in the library, she would have a coronary. To add to that, the computers in the library, for whatever reason, had this feature that when you held the down key for more than 2 seconds, they would make this screeching noise. I don't have a clue why on earth they thought we really needed this feature. I can't imagine excessive down key pushing was really going to wreck the computer, but whatever. People would forget all the time and she would go nuts. She would burst out of her office and give you the death glare if you triggered the down key alarm.
Anyway, we had a girl at our school who was deaf and had a great sense of humor and we suggested some library fun.
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She held the down key, it started screeching, and the librarian went batsh*t. Most people stop holding it down after a second or two because it's so annoying, but she just kept going. For a solid five minutes, the librarian ran around the room screaming "Who's doing that??? Who's doing that???" Most people in the lab weren't in on the joke so they had no idea who could be so ballsy.
Eventually, she found where the sound was coming from, but she couldn't yell at her because there was obviously some plausible deniability. Like, she' legitimately couldn't hear the sound and she actually kept a straight face throughout. Apparently she did it a couple more times and played the "Oops, I forgot!" angle, but I wasn't there for it.
Maybe not legendary in the grand scheme of things, but she was a cool chick and it was hilarious.
6/27. "Someone"(not me), was tired of drug dogs going through the halls. So they sprayed bong water all over the principals car. Dogs didn't come back.
7/27. My junior year, the seniors put hay everywhere inside the f*cking english building, where it basically looked like a farm. One of the admins wasn't even letting people look at the mess inside.
8/27. One hot day in June there was basically a riot at our school. Pretty much every kid in the school at lunch recess gathered at the office entrance to the school and started chanting "It's too hot! We wanna go home!". It was pretty incredible. A teacher at one point came out and said "We're calling the police!" to no avail. Finally the bell rang and everyone cheered and went inside.
9/27. There was the time a girl had sex with two dudes in the auditorium during a basketball game and it was caught on the school camera.
Her family ended up sending her somewhere else after that.
10/27. Twice a week at our school, the junior and senior guys were on garbage/recycling duty after lunch. We'd gather all the garbage bags and recycling from the classrooms and offices. The building was a school attached to a church with offices and a sort of community center. It wasn't a huge building, but it was pretty big. We'd take all the garbage and trash out to the dumpster which was set next to some sheds behind the building.
That's how it all started.
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Jeff jumping off a 10-12 foot shed into a dumpster full of cardboard boxes. We'd laugh, roll the dumpster out to wear the garbage guy could get to it, someone else rolled it back when garbage was collected.
One day Jeff climbed the backstop of the baseball field right near the dumpsters...that was a 25-30 foot drop, I think. He made that one look easy. Then he dropped in from out of a tree, that was probably about 40 feet.
Finally, about a month from our graduation, he told us his plan. He had to break into the crawlspace above the chapel (accessible by a padlocked trap door on the third floor of class rooms, then climb up through the attic space of the chapel and onto the roof. The chapel parking lot sloped sharply by about 7-8 feet, which is where the 50 foot drop comes in.
We saved boxes for weeks, set them up in the dumpster, put it in the parking lot about 15 feet from the chapel wall, and watched him jump.
11/27. Kid gets yelled at. Runs out of school into the woods. Helicopters come and search for hours for the kid. School goes on lockdown. SWAT team finds him a mile away eating snickers in the woods.
Comes back next week like nothing happened.
12/27. At the school where I used to teach, the students told me that years ago, someone swapped the science teacher's Bill Nye video with a hardcore porn tape. According to legend, the teacher didn't notice for quite a while, and the students watched several minutes of smut that day.
13/27.Two teachers having sex in an empty class. They thought they had locked the door. A student caught them. They were both fired.
14/27. When I was in Grade 9, I was sitting in the computer lab working in during the communications class. All of the sudden, we hear this loud revving getting louder and louder, something passing by very quickly then fading away.
Our teacher ran out of the room after it, and crike, I had no idea the man could move that quickly. I was in crutches due to a sports injury, so I had to hobble out behind the rest of the class as we tried to find out what was going on.
Apparently, one of seniors brought an ATV to school and drove through the halls. What was 'legendary' was that he somehow was never caught.
15/27. I took an A+ course in high school. We had an alright sized lab room for stripping computers and another room full of computers for other work or lessons. There were a few stuffed animals in the lesson room as a half assed attempt by my teacher to decorate. Those come into play later.
My teacher kept finding porn history on one of the computers. It was always horribly spelled or incoherent searches, and she assumed it was a freshman being a smart ass to impress his friends during a different class. One day she gets fed up with it and makes a special project for us nerds in her A+ course. She gave us one of the lab computers and the smallest cam she could find and asked us to make a hidden camera. We complied and made a decent one and brought it into the other room, set it to record with more than enough hard drive space and aimed it at the perps 'puter.
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The next day we fire up the vid and see one of the seniors coming in before schools starts, googling some porn and giving himself the old wax job. He cleaned up with one of the stuffed animals and went about his business. She threw out the stuffed animals and the cops got involved. Kid got into trouble but went into the army after high school, so maybe it all worked out in the end.
16/27. Our school has a huge statue of a mustang at the front because that's our mascot. It's about 40 feet up above the entryway so everyone sees it when they come in.
One morning there was a bright pink dildo on it. It took them awhile to get it off of there because they didn't want to ruin the statue or leave any piece of the evidence behind. It was too heavy to remove from its place, so there it stayed with a banner hung across the entryway blocking the statue. Nobody knows who did it except for the masterminds of the crime.
17/27. In another class they managed to get into the ceiling tiles and plug socket, so they took an old phone with dirty ringtone and a charger and left it up there. For whatever reason, because of acoustics the sound seemed to shift around the room as you walked.
The number got passed around so people could call whenever they needed to disrupt the class for a while.
18/27. Seems like every couple months you practice fire drills, and one day the alarm goes off. We start making our way down the stairwell, and there is smoke.
I get outside, and say to somebody, "wow, they make these fire drills so realistic, smoke and everything!"
The reply I got back was, "the school really is on fire."
So yeah, my school caught on fire, that was legendary.
I'm not the brightest tool in the shed.
19/27. I attended a High School called Rampart that, despite being a blue ribbon school, had serious budget issues. The budget problems got so bad that the principal started renting out the school gym to anyone willing to pay up to use it. Some guy rented the gym out for a Saturday night, saying he was going to hold a church dance. Instead he...
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Instead he held a rave that got so out of hand it destroyed the gym. The incident quickly grew into legend amongst the students. Many claimed to have been there or to have known the guy who threw the rave. We weren't able to use the gym for the rest of the year. They kept the doors locked but there were constant attempts to force them open so we could see the damage.
It didn't take long for the students to start referring to the school as Ravepart and whenever we had to sing the national anthem would finish it "and the home of the rave." The next year we had a new principal too but we never knew if the old principal was fired because of the rave incident.
20/27. Apparently some if they guys a few years ahead of me got into the principals car, took of the brake and pushed it up a makeshift ramp to the roof of the shed. I don't know how he got it down.
21/27. A guy from my high school thought it would be a great idea to streak through the halls on the last day of school. After running around buck ass naked, people who witnessed it began whispering about "some guy streaking". Pretty soon the entire school was talking about this unknown mystery guy who ran around with his dick out. Biology teacher witnessed it and said "maybe it's just chilly today, but he isn't very well endowed".
Soon after, he went to the front office and turned himself in. He apparently walked in to a room full of administrators - all women - and just said "it was me". They all busted out laughing and said "just don't do it again, kay?"
22/27. There is a tradition here in Australia that the year 12's (final year of high school) usually have a day called 'muck up day' where they play pranks or whatever in the school. Well one year, the year 12's decided to f*ck with the whole school and placed road work signs and cones on one of the main roads next to the school. They diverted all that traffic through the school essentially f*cking up a lot of people's day. It's the best thing anyone has done on muck up day at our school.
23/27. I'm from a small town in Indiana. That means two things:
1. Nobody really knows what you're talking about when you say where you're from. Here in Indiana, you're either from "around Fort Wayne," or "around Indianapolis."
2. You NEVER see fights break out. Maybe a little slapfest, but that's it. The worst I'd witnessed before this was this one girl dumping Gatorade on another girl. Nothing exciting.
But this day. This day broke both stereotypes.
More stories on the next page!
We were put on a hard lockdown that day, meaning we had to sit in class until the teacher released us. We missed the entirety of third period, sitting there in second period while our teachers got bored and started watching cat videos with us on YouTube. Typically, a hard lockdown means a shooter got in the school or something, but nope. That apparently wasn't what was going on.
A senior (who was over 18) got in a fight with a freshman over a sophomore girl, and then they pushed each other out a f*cking window. We were on the news. You don't say "you're from around Fort Wayne" anymore, nowadays in Indiana you can get away with saying "we're from that town where the kids went out a window."
24/27. The guys in my year managed to swipe the vice principals smoking pipe, they put up ransom posters everywhere.
25/27. A guy drove through the school on a dirt bike. He was doing wheelies and dodging the supervisors who couldn't catch up to the dirt bike on their golf carts. Then later that day he posted the video he recorded of the whole thing from a GoPro on Twitter.
26/27. In high school we weren't allowed to wear costumes for Halloween. My senior year a giant group of us, about a good half or 3/4 of the class decided that were going to dress up anyway and meet in the parking lot before school to march in together.
I spent the night before making my costume, which was a suit of armor made out of cardboard with metallic tape, a sword made the same way, and one of those broomstick horses.
The next day we all gathered like we had said and marched it together. It was hilarious, but I guess they found out so the deans and assistant deans were waiting for us in the cafeteria to take our IDs so we could report to detention. One of my friend's had dressed up as an ATM that he made out of cardboard. When they asked him for his ID he was ready and slipped it out of a slot like a debit card.
The best part was at the end of the day when we all gathered for detention. They didn't have enough room for us and all the other people that were there for other reasons. Out of frustration they decided to make our detentions Saturday ones and spread them out. It was totally worth it though.
27/27. Someone sh*t in the middle of the hallway.
Reddit user Miguenzo asked: 'What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?'
It can be a pleasant and exciting surprise to see a friend or family member show up on the evening news.
Particularly if it is a story showcasing their accomplishments or allowing them to let their voice be heard on an important issue.
Of course, showing up on the news isn't always a joyous occasion.
Indeed, some people tune in to find their friends and family on the news for reasons they might hope people will eventually forget down the line.
Redditor Miguenzo was eager to hear stories of a loved one making the evening news for less than brag-worthy stories, leading them to ask:
"What’s the dumbest reason somebody you know landed on the 6 o’clock news?"
15 Minutes, Or Four Seconds, Of Fame...
"Years back, there was a college scholarship scam going on here."
"These companies would go to high schools and do a presentation, and grift parents into paying a large sum for the company to help get a scholarship."
"My mom took one look at this and was like, 'this is a scam'."
"My uncle bought it hook, line and sinker and paid up."
"And received absolutely nothing."
"So he calls our news program and they do a feature with this company in their 'hall of shame.'"
"My uncle was absolutely THRILLED."
"'They interviewed me for 4 hours!'"
"'It's going to be huge!'"
"We all sit around the TV."
"It's February 2000."
"Boom, there's my uncle!"
"They do the lead-in..and then, there's my uncle saying..."
"'They said, uh, sue 'em'."
"My uncle is screaming."
"'What the Hell?! They were at my house for 4 hours!'"
"We still have it on VHS somewhere."
"My uncle's star moment over in seconds."- JKW1988Episode 19 News GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
Preserved For Posterity...
"My college roommate got stuck in an infant swing at a public park and firefighters had to use some type of Jaws of Life contraption to cut the swing down and cut her out of it."- Nocomt
"I know a guy who was interviewed on camera up in the mountains where there was a forest fire."
"He had been up there fishing with his girlfriend."
"He was married."- Fezig
"Dude was swimming laps in a lake after dinner (i.e., around sunset)."
"Predictably, he got bit by an alligator."
"I saw him on the news, shirtless in true Floridaman fashion, with a little bandage over each tooth mark."
"The bandages made a dotted line around his shoulder and chest in the shape of an alligator's mouth, like he was in a cartoon or something."- BigRedRobotNinjaTiere Bis Unters Dach Swimming GIF by SWR KindernetzGiphy
"There was a park nearby that had no drainage and was bowl shaped."
"So if it rained hard, this baseball park/ football field turned into a mini lake."
"It rained a lot one day and the news did a story just showing how much it rained, and in the background behind the news-woman, from out of frame you see my friend rowing past her in a kayak."- hook_killed_pan
Right Place At The Right Time?
"A fight broke out at a HS football game."
"Turned into a huge brouhaha.'
"They intervened this dumba** friend of mine on the local news, the only bit that made it into the broadcast was him saying 'For the first time in my life I was happy to see cops!'"- KneeDragr
"Marrying their pet goldfish in an underwater ceremony, complete with a wedding gown and guests in scuba gear."- Candies-For-YouIllustration Swimming GIF by Ordinary NadeeGiphy
'A childhood friend’s dad embezzled money from the local Little League team."- Key-Zebra-4125
How Did He Even Make It To The Freezer?
"An ex boyfriend of my best friend’s sister ended up on the news for breaking into a Checkers through the drive through window and locking himself in the freezer until the cops arrived and arrested him."- pineapple3712·Ice Cream Snack GIF by My/Mochi Ice CreamGiphy
Setting An Example...
"I got filmed and aired sticking a swab up my nose at drive thru covid testing."
"I had just declined to be interviewed at my car because I was afraid of getting someone sick."
"Test was negative, and my sister got a new pic for my contact profile on her phone."- idiotsavant419
Criminals Don't Ususally Wait In The Check Out Line...
"My friend was going to target with his mom to buy a tv."
"They stopped at Starbucks in the store."
"When the worker asked what the wanted he said “'he money in the register see' like an old timey gangster, then laughed ordered and payed for their coffee and went into target."
"While they were pushing their cart with a tv in it to the check out line the swat team surrounded them and arrested him for armed robbery.. was on the news."
"Got charged and everything."
"The first hearing the barista could not point him out and the judge threw out the case."- MACHOmanJITSU
Returning To The Scene Of The Crime...
"A guy from my high school stole Michael Jackson's glove from the Motown Museum in Detroit MI in early 90s."
"He returned it."
"I knew it had to be him, and yep, it was."
"I remembered him because he dressed like Michael Jackson every single day of school for years."
"He did it really well, too."
"He also didn't talk much."
"So, I was surprised to see him talking to a TV reporter about it."
"I hope he's doing well."- ATK80kAnimated GIFGiphy
Some people crave their 15 minutes of fame and embrace it however it may come.
Others only hope that no one they knew happened to be watching their local news that night...
Even though they know deep down that all their friends have it on their DVR and are never planning to erase it...
People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.
Maybe it's the euphoria.
Maybe it's the adrenaline.
Maybe it's the tequila.
It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.
Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.
Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:
"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"
The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"
Morbid Much?In Bed Home GIFGiphy
"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."
"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."
"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."
"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"
"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."
"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"
"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."
"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."
"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."
Damn it's Good
"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"
"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."
"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."
A Binding Contract
"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."
"Still together 5 years later!"
It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.
And it all starts with a handshake.
Sleep on It
“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"
"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."
"This is the best one."
"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."
"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."
"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"
"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."
"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”
"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"
"I married her, we still goin' at it."
Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.
Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.
Accepting compliments can be much harder.
Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.
But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.
Reddit user callmejari asked:
"What's the weirdest compliment you have received?"
"Someone once told me that my voice was so soothing, it could put a crying baby sloth to sleep."
What About My Sneeze?
"'Your cough sounds nice' Was just a random girl on the train."
"Still throws me off 2 years later."
Hope It’s Not SpongeBob
"A 5-year-old kid told me he liked me because I looked like a cartoon."
“You look like Post Malone but when he was poor.”
The Better To Blow With
"Someone once told me my nostrils were a nice size."
"I have nice wide birthing hips."
"I'm a guy."
"You got the foundation for it, you're just missing the plumbing."
"'I like you because I'm into unattractive guys'. Thanks?"
Wrong Hemisphere, But Thanks
"When I was 16 working the drive thru—'You’re the prettiest Arabic girl I’ve ever seen'."
"I’m Mexican. But thank you ma’am."
Was His Name Vlad?
"'You've got beautiful veins'."
"By the guy that injected my contrast before an MRI."
~ Reblax837Werner Herzog Halloween GIF by Arrow VideoGiphy
It Keeps My Teeth In Place
"Some random NYC man told me I had a nice chin once. I still think about him."
Never Skip Leg Day
"I was told by a woman walking behind me on stairs that I had great calves."
"It was kind of weird at the time."
Not The BBQ Ones
"'I like your ribs'."
"From random girl at a pool party during a music festival."
Cleaning Up On Aisle 5
"I delivered bread to grocery stores in the 90’s and when I decided to change routes, the young lady who had always checked me in told me she’d really miss the sound of my voice."
"One time I was at the doctor for some lower back pain getting an ultra sound and the tech looked me dead in the eye and said 'You have really nice kidneys. They're very plump.'"
"Best strange compliment I ever received."
"'You walk like a cat'."
"'Aww... You sneeze just like a cat!'."
A compliment is a compliment, right?
What's the weirdest compliment you've received?
We can all agree that, as fun as it's supposed to be, the dating scene can be really, really hard.
Here's the secret: as hard as the dating scene can be to navigate, some of the trouble lies with us. We may not to be able to find a long-term partner or a date at all because of something that we're doing.
But when a friend is in this situation, it can be really hard to tell them the brutal truth about their dating history.
Redditor teekzer asked:
"What is causing your friend to remain single that you don't have the heart to tell them?"
"He keeps hanging on to the past and spending all his time hanging out with ex-girlfriends who are unavailable, or women who like him but he doesn’t romantically like."
"I always wondered why she couldn't get a date because she is gorgeous until I saw her flirting with someone."
"The first night they met, flirted, and swapped numbers. Then, she was immediately clingy, talking in a baby voice to him, and making baby noises."
"I can smell them. Everyone can smell them."
"You should find a way to tell them, it might hurt but they'll appreciate it."
The Nice Guy Mindset
"He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is."
"The ones who claim this rarely are."
"The people they like aren’t real. They are idealized, cartoonish caricatures. Now my friend himself has a lot to offer in my opinion, but he is looking for a person who doesn’t exist. Hard to find something that’s not there."
"I have a friend who started dating his flatmate after being really into her for a while, and then after a week or two said something like, 'Dating you doesn't feel as good as I thought it would,' TO HER."
"He basically torpedoed his own potential relationship because of his own ideal fantasy, and to be honest, I don't know if he actually realized he'd created an unrealistic standard in his own head."
"He's been single for the last decade, his mental health has only got worse in the time I've known him despite therapy, and I think he's probably so detached from 'appropriate dating behavior' at this point that he could be single for the rest of his life."
"Brother-in-law, not friend. But he makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time. Like, constantly."
"Yes, some women like potty humor, but they usually also want it to be funny."
"He is also very negative; finds insult or something wrong with any situation."
Living in Fantasy Land
"He lies to himself about almost everything. He lives in fantasy land."
"He thinks he's in the gym five days a week, eats great, climbs mountains, goes camping, and makes loads of money."
"In reality, he's at the pub five days a week, over eats like s??t, went on one hike in January, can't hold a job, and lives paycheck to paycheck..."
"If you were to confront him with this reality, it wouldn't even get through to him."
"The type of guys she claims she likes isn't what she's actually attracted to."
"She keeps saying how much she loves shy introverted sensitive guys but when she finds one and dates him suddenly, she's like, 'He's not outgoing enough, doesn't speak his mind enough, and is too shy!'"
"I kind of think she has this 'I can fix him' syndrome and doesn't really acknowledge it. Like, she's attracted to the idea of a typical shy guy but thinks once they're in a relationship they'll suddenly be more open and turn into the guy she actually wants. That's not how it works!"
"She is so lovely. So kind, so generous, and so beautiful. But her crippling lack of self-esteem is so huge, it's visible from space, and her anxiety (and I'm 99% sure her undiagnosed ADHD) means that when she's at all nervous, she talks at 100 miles an hour in several directions at once."
"It's like being handed eight happy Labrador puppies to try and hold in your arms. I so badly want her to be happy and feel fulfilled but even I find it tiring sometimes."
The Negative Attitude
"I have two of these."
"One is the most talented, smartest, wonderful person I know and I wish I could pull the gremlins out of their brain so they could be happy."
"The other is self-fulfilling proficiency f**king up their life. He's not unlovable, or ugly, or uncared for, but walking through the world expecting rejection at all turns and living in a fog of negativity is what makes him unattractive to be around."
"So-and-so isn't hotter than you, that's not the reason they're getting more friends and lovers, but they are more positive and interested than you, and people are attracted to that company."
Just Pure Arrogance
"For my husband’s friend, it’s the selfish arrogance. I want what I want, and the subtext was that he never cared about what his girlfriend wanted."
"He would only go places he wanted to go, which never included her friends or family. He wanted to spend all his money on 'collectibles' related to sci-fi movies, DVDs, figurines etc."
"Engagement rings were a waste of money, investing, or buying a house ditto, no compromises were possible, he said NO, and no discussions were entertained."
"His opinion on every topic was the correct one, and he was not interested in your opinion, or listening to extra facts he did not know that might change his mind."
"He was once young and good-looking, and he thought he could find someone else when she walked when he was 32. They had dated for close to a decade. During the relationship, he had started to stack on the weight and losing his hair and he was not able to find a replacement."
"Now he is 49 and hasn’t had a girlfriend since. He still has not bought a house and they cost double what they did when they were dating, and his rent has tripled. He does have a copy of all his favorite movies in every format: VHS, DVD, AND BlueRay, a whole bedroom is dedicated to storing them, if you can get in there. His house is a hoarder's paradise."
"He says the reason no one wants him is because he is fat and bald, and it does not help, but it’s not the major turnoff."
"As for his ex, I don't really know what happened to her. She left all of us behind when they broke up. I did hear she got married, but no updates after that. She is a sweetheart, I wish all the good things for her."
Impossible to Move Forward
"Summarizing two types of my single friends:"
"Super successful, smart, funny, and good-looking. They also tend to go for folks who leave them on read for days. Their insecurities are their worst enemies and I think are the biggest factor of them chasing after partners who don’t want to be partners."
"Other friends don’t know how to commit to anything, including a job. It almost feels like a 'it’ll happen when it happens' type of ideology and so they don’t even try to make things happen? They act like things will happen on their own? So they’ll meet a person and then that’s it. Meet cute dead in the water."
"Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the first date, she reeks of it."
"We have all tried talking to her about it to no avail. The sad thing is that if she was just her regular funny, smart, relaxed self, then men would be falling over themselves trying to get her number."
A Want List
"Her standards are excessively too high. She brings nothing to a relationship. She's a walking contradiction, all of which is why she is single."
"I think it's great to have standards and high standards but hers is just a checklist of wants."
"He’s convinced women won’t like him because he’s short. I keep telling him I know plenty of guys just as short as him in great relationships, I’ve dated guys as short as him in the past. He just refuses to believe it."
"I dated a guy who was four feet, nine inches, and I'm five feet, four inches. He had such an amazing strong personality that you never noticed his height."
"I did find kissing standing up weird; the motions are so different when it's swapped."
"The relationship ended for other reasons than his height."
Alternatively, Open to Feedback
"I had a friend who finally did just ask. He came up to the girls in our group and just let us have an open conversation. I'm sure it was awkward and uncomfortable for him, but we gently laid out some issues. He cut his hair, got some new clothes, and (the big one) started therapy."
"A couple of years later, guess who's got a wife and a wonderful child?"
It's so disheartening to see the people we care about unable to have something that they would find so fulfilling like a long-term relationship.
But it's even worse when the reasons behind it are things they could work on, if we only had the guts to tell them or if they were open to hearing it.