We've all done it, it's not a sin... at least I think it's not. We've all cheated on a test at least once in our lives. The only rule to cheating is... "if you're gonna do, do it right!" Cheating can actually be a skill. It requires deftness and precision. If you can't do it... just take the F. Don't become a shame story for the generations that follow.
Redditor u/molnarg1102 wanted teachers and students to let us know the best ways to NOT get caught while trying to pass, though one would think that would already be obvious but.... no. They asked... What's the best/worst attempt at cheating you've seen during a test?
Handwritten....
This guy wrote all the solutions/answers at his palm, when the teacher asked him to open his hand he just said: "I cant open it." Screwed me up lol. birdi1e
I knew a guy that once wrote answers on his quad for an exam. He wore basketball shorts to school that day and rolled up his pants leg to see the answers.
The teacher came around and asked what he was looking at, then asked him to roll up his pants leg. Kid then accused the teacher of being a flirt. I don't remember exactly what happened after but I think he got a day of detention and an F on the exam. hotpocketlord
Yummy.
A kid hid a sticky note in the top of his mechanical pencil and pulled it out when the teacher wasn't looking, after he was done with the test he ate it. Fiberglass_mayne
Speak Up.
We had a french speaking test, where you had to recite a speech we had already written, except no one could be bothered to learn it, so there was this one guy who sat at the front who held his french book up like he was reading it, and on the back he held a printed version of the persons speech. Safe to say it worked because everyone did really well. Sufficient-Violinist
Starting too Young....
When I was in 3rd grade, we had to take a a math test at the end of the day for the stuff we went over. Well right before the test started, the teacher erased all the info on the whiteboard with all the answers on it. During the test, I could see the imprint of the answers still on the board. After my teacher realized I was suspiciously staring that the whiteboard very hard, she cleaned the board and the answers were gone. I didn't do very well on that test. mrcool998
"I gave it to you at the 8am section"
This is also the most impressed I have been with a college professor. Calc 3, multiple session (~80 students each), and on test day you could come in during any session that you wanted to take it. There were also 5 tests in the semester, and you can drop your lowest (ie you can throw your test away before grading).
It was fairly common, unless you were trying not to take the final, so there were occasionally people that did not turn in the test before leaving. I was in the later section, and as the prof was handing out the test. He skipped over the blonde Canadian, and he was like "You missed me". The prof said "I gave it to you at the 8am section" and carried on.
He had tried to go to the earlier section to get the test, learn all the answers/what is on it/have all day, and turn it in with the afternoon section. And this professor recognized who he had given a test to earlier out of 200 students. Then he became know as the blonde Canadian dummy. MTAlphawolf
The System....
Basically the whole school knew of this method; I think it was developed over the years and passed on by older siblings/friends. Surely the teachers must've known, but it's hard to catch.
On a multiple choice quiz with A, B, C or D for answers, kids would gently rest or tap fingers on the desk to represent the answer, you know as if they are just pondering. One finger for A, two for B, three for C and four for D. Then was a system to say which question you were asking for, which was to grab, pull, stretch or crack your fingers.
Fist closed or complete open was 0, left thumb to pinky was 1-5, right thumb to pinky was 6-10, but 10 was ignored. You'd do the first digit twice and the second once.
You'd only really ask people around you for odd questions and hope they give you the right answer, but for SATs when we were about 16 this was potentially effective for improved guessing on questions you didn't know. snaynay
Wrong Gen...
I was told about a kid in my niece's nursing program. Kid had a smart watch where he could access data from his phone. Prior to the tests he'd put all of the data he needed where he could scroll through it on his watch.
During the final the Teacher asked for all phones to be turned off or you'll get a failing grade.
Someone was texting the kid during the exam, the watch the started making noises and the teacher realized he has been cheating all semester long.
No idea what happened to the kid. This must have been when the Gen1 Apple Watches & Samsung devices came out. pklam
Just Blow....
The guy sitting next to me during an exam had a cold the same day it began. He hid his notes between the folds of his handkerchief just a few layers away from the snot. He held it openly throughout the entire test, confident that the teachers won't dare to touch the snot filled fabric. slockins101
Bravo Gents.
I had a couple of students teach themselves sign language so they could sign "A, B, C or D" to each other. I caught on and made a test with an "E" option and made sure many answers were E. This made them create a new symbol on the fly.
I then started making two versions of the test and making sure they each had the different test from each other. This essentially solved it, but they started signing the questions to each other. I never confronted them because I was too impressed that they were teaching themselves sign language. They both got B's in my class. Ol_Man_Rambles
"focus"
I had a spelling test in the third grade. We were told to spell the word "focus" and at the time I was using a Focus brand pencil with the brand name along the side of it. Thought I was going to jail for sure. LeluWater
Scribblers....
We had to make a math test on our laptop. All other programs needed to be closed and there were 2 teachers surveilling.
My classmate installed some program so his friend could take over his computer without it being obvious. The classmate scribbled on his paper like he was doing the math and his friend looked up the answers and filled them in. When one of the surveilling teachers neared my classmate would move his cursor so his friend would know not to fill in the answer until he moved his cursor again.
My man won the game. He got an A. CopyrightRachel
On the skin...
I have dermotographia. It is a rare skin disease, harmless, but sometimes annoying. Basically that everything i scratch into my skin stays for around 15 minutes before fading. One time we had a substitute teacher so i wrote down some answers for the test. He busted me, but i just denied that it was there. By the time the principle came along it had all disappeared. SlamClam
GOOODDD!!!!!
In middle school a girl who bullied me constantly all but shoved her head in front of my face during a math quiz. When I glanced at her and saw her eyes fixed on my paper she looked at me and went I'M NOT EVEN LOOKING AT YOUR TEST OH MY GOOODDDD!!!!
And proceeded to get highly upset when I covered my paper the rest of the time. maximumovarize
"3x5"
My favorite is still the student who noticed that the syllabus allowed for a "3x5 crib sheet" and didn't mention any units, so she created a 3 foot by five foot poster will all her notes on it. The professor let it stand because she was right, he hadn't specified 3x5 inches. astrakhan42
Hey Professor....
College professor told us about a kid who came in to his office crying the week of finals and telling him about how his grandparents were killed in a car accident and he wouldn't be able to take the final because the funeral was on the same day. Professor was a nice dude - he consoles this kid and tries to cheer him up and tells him not to worry about the final.
A little later in the day, the professor is feeling bad and decides to try to get in touch with the guys parents to offer his condolences. He calls the parents, who have no clue what he's talking about.
Professor ended up calling the kid back to his office and calling student affairs up right then and there to report him for cheating. I believe the kid made a zero on the final. jonahvsthewhale
5 minutes after the test started...
back in college, in math tests we needed a specific sheet of paper where the math problems were supposed to be solve, so everybody had an empty one that they had to fill up and turn in when they were done,
So pretty much all the students brought the whole exam written down in an extra paper, since the professor gave the same one every semester, and just write all the problems from the cheat paper, of course hidden in a bag or under the table, to the clean one over the table.
so all cool, but this absolute imbecile brought the full cheat paper, swap the clean one with the completed cheat paper, and turned in the test...
5 minutes after the test started...
the teacher lost it, everyone fails the test instantly, pretty sure they stoned that dude afterwards. adrianinked
Can't help.... in latin?
College latin final. A girl I went to high school with sits next to me. She was a year older, a cheerleader, and we were in a club together back then. We knew each other but not well. At that moment, she looked panicked.
She was visibly shaking, pale, and really hung over. She grabbed my arm, leaned in really close, and in a shaky voice asked me to help. Before I could process what was happening, she scooted closer and said she would do anything.
That last word drawn out in a way that I think was supposed to be sexy but in her state came out like a crack hoochie begging for a dollar.
All I could do was shake my head slowly and say "sorry."
Not because I wouldn't give her the answers. I would have done that without her begging or the implied sex (which I wouldn't have done).
I didn't study either and failed myself. Rmanager
Periodically....
In 8th grade I cheated a couple of times.
First was on a state capital test. I literally asked my friend next to me what several state capitals were and he told me. The teacher was right in front of both of us the whole time. Literally standing in front of my desk. We did not whisper. She was a bit clueless...
Second was on the periodic table. We sat at those three person lab tables and I was in the middle. I had a copy of the periodic table on my lap. The two girls on either side of me kept staring at my lap. The teacher noticed the staring and made a joking comment about what could be so distracting about my lap. The girls both turned beet red and stopped looking. Teacher did not think to check any further and I aced the test. chalmun74
Here... just cheat guys...
I had a teacher once who just didn't give a crap. One day we had an exam where he was the supervisor, and some student asked him something about a question. He didn't know the answer, so he just asked the rest of the class to give the right answer. After that, he just asked us to tell the following couple of answers as well, so that we all could go home earlier, as he had more stuff to do.
Unsurprisingly, he doesn't work there anymore. TJBullz
It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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