Various life circumstances can force relationships with friends and family to change.
But what happens when the people you care about change?
A friend or family member becoming someone you no longer recognize due to making poor life choices can be devastating.
But not all changes are for the worse. Sometimes, someone you're close with who – does a complete 180 and becomes a better person – is commendable.
We all have the capacity for improvement, but does that mean we transform into completely different people?
Curious about the experiences of strangers on the internet, Redditor gigi_c16 asked:
What person did you watch turn into something they were not?
Peer Pressure
"I had a best friend who was honestly one of the nicest people on the planet, but due to depression and peer pressure from toxic people, she began shoplifting and getting into drugs. She stopped caring about people and start doing such risky things that I couldn't even hang out with her without feeling unsafe. She ended up getting me in so much trouble one time, that her mom (who considered me another daughter) told me that we had to separate to protect me from harm and trouble. I miss her family cause they really were another family to me, but she refused to take responsibility and continued being put in dangerous situations."
The Dad Who Fell Into Trouble
"I have a friend from my childhood who's parents really went down the wrong path. I played sports with him and was in school with him from age 3 to graduation. His dad was always his biggest supporter and always sat next to my parents at every game. He was seriously such a nice guy. When we got into high school this kids house was the hang out. Nobody knocked and at any given time there would be 5-10 kids hanging out there. In my four years of high school I watched his dad go from a fun loving easy going dude who loved his kids, to a guy who steals and robs to get his hands on any drug he could put into his body. We took in my friend to live with us when his dad skipped bail and was the subject of a state wide man hunt. It got to the point where he was doing drugs in the house with his oldest son. Seriously one of the saddest things I've ever seen."
The Great Aunt
"after my tight laced, pearl-wearing great aunt had a stroke, she turned into a foul-mouthed, swearing sailor. so sad, yet so flippin hilarious."
Wayward Cowboy
"One of my classmates grew up and decided he was going to be a cowboy. Hat, boots, occasionally chaps... which is fine, except having grown up with him i can pretty safely say he's never worked or lived on any type of farm or ranch and I'm pretty sure he's never even ridden a horse. We are from a very small town and he didn't associate with the horse. He was the emo/punk kid! And everyone liked him for it, he was considering super cool. Now he's a fake cowboy, and most of his hometown friends actually do farm or ranch... and we all know that he doesn't. I don't get it. But its embarrassing watching him throw around country jargon that doesn't make sense. I don't know why he's trying so hard and I don't know where this came from."
Effects Of Schizophrenia
"One of my best friends from childhood ended up with schizophrenia. I watched him turn from a killer musician loving friend and trend setter into a delusional paranoid that refused to take psych meds but self medicated with alcohol."
Former High School Friend
"An former high school friend with 80-85 ish % average in class, turned into a Hells Angels in his 20s or 30s, murdered people, then died by homicide. Those events took place a very long, long time ago."
People Can Change
"My father used to beat the crap out of me as a kid. My siblings too. Purely randomly he would come home late at night, completely sober, and beat the sh*t out of us because he felt like something had been done incorrectly. At about 40 years old he went out one day and bought a drift boat and started fishing. He hasn't been the same since. He is still boisterous and sometimes crosses lines verbally, but he is generally quick to apologize and has been learning ever since. I didn't realize people could change."
Life Change
"I went from an alcoholic, 0.22 gpa, academic probation, almost on death's door from overdosing a billion times on various drugs, in a dead end pizza job, no friends, living with my abusive parents...."
"to a sober soon-to-be university student with 3.25gpa STEM major, improving mental health, a fantastic boyfriend, and a place to call my own in six months from now."
"Life can get better."
Mama Chef
"My mom went from being a good cook to an absolute legend in her 50s. Like, I've eaten at some of the best restaurants in all of Europe and her food is still in my top 5."
Depression
"I was a hellion as a teenager. Didnt help that no one took my mental health issues seriously because I was 'just a teenager.' I got better, learned my own coping mechanisms, grew as a person, but I guess I never completely got over things at age 18, because the depression symptom-switched into an eating disorder."
"No one took my ED seriously either (I reached 80lbs at one point), but I have since self-recovered. I have lingering issues around food and I am very socially withdrawn, but relatively speaking, I am much better now. I'm physically healthy for the first time in my life, I no longer lash out at people (although I still struggle to give others the attention they deserve).
– ramune_0
What The Pandemic Did
"My mom. She went from your average stay-at home denim jacket wearing Canadian mother who loved coffee and Angel statues and would listen to upbeat optimistic songs like 'Walking on Sunshine' and 'Don't stop thinking about tomorrow' and turned into an alcoholic leather jacket hoarder that partied every day of the week and collected band and beer memorabilia and only ever listened to music about drinking, f'king and being on drugs when she met my step-dad when I was 11."
"Things went from her taking care of me and parenting me, to me having to grow up real fast so I could take care of her and parent myself."
"Oddly enough though the pandemic has turned her around again. Being in quarantine and not being able to have 20 people over every night has made her desire to drink flatline and also given her plenty of time to go through and clean out her house. I'm proud of her right now, but I'm also worried that she'll wind up reverting as soon as [the pandemic]'s over and she can see her 'friends' again. All I can do is hope that her progress will stick."
– Morosoro
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.