Various life circumstances can force relationships with friends and family to change.
But what happens when the people you care about change?
A friend or family member becoming someone you no longer recognize due to making poor life choices can be devastating.
But not all changes are for the worse. Sometimes, someone you're close with who – does a complete 180 and becomes a better person – is commendable.
We all have the capacity for improvement, but does that mean we transform into completely different people?
Curious about the experiences of strangers on the internet, Redditor gigi_c16 asked:
What person did you watch turn into something they were not?
Peer Pressure
"I had a best friend who was honestly one of the nicest people on the planet, but due to depression and peer pressure from toxic people, she began shoplifting and getting into drugs. She stopped caring about people and start doing such risky things that I couldn't even hang out with her without feeling unsafe. She ended up getting me in so much trouble one time, that her mom (who considered me another daughter) told me that we had to separate to protect me from harm and trouble. I miss her family cause they really were another family to me, but she refused to take responsibility and continued being put in dangerous situations."
The Dad Who Fell Into Trouble
"I have a friend from my childhood who's parents really went down the wrong path. I played sports with him and was in school with him from age 3 to graduation. His dad was always his biggest supporter and always sat next to my parents at every game. He was seriously such a nice guy. When we got into high school this kids house was the hang out. Nobody knocked and at any given time there would be 5-10 kids hanging out there. In my four years of high school I watched his dad go from a fun loving easy going dude who loved his kids, to a guy who steals and robs to get his hands on any drug he could put into his body. We took in my friend to live with us when his dad skipped bail and was the subject of a state wide man hunt. It got to the point where he was doing drugs in the house with his oldest son. Seriously one of the saddest things I've ever seen."
The Great Aunt
"after my tight laced, pearl-wearing great aunt had a stroke, she turned into a foul-mouthed, swearing sailor. so sad, yet so flippin hilarious."
Wayward Cowboy
"One of my classmates grew up and decided he was going to be a cowboy. Hat, boots, occasionally chaps... which is fine, except having grown up with him i can pretty safely say he's never worked or lived on any type of farm or ranch and I'm pretty sure he's never even ridden a horse. We are from a very small town and he didn't associate with the horse. He was the emo/punk kid! And everyone liked him for it, he was considering super cool. Now he's a fake cowboy, and most of his hometown friends actually do farm or ranch... and we all know that he doesn't. I don't get it. But its embarrassing watching him throw around country jargon that doesn't make sense. I don't know why he's trying so hard and I don't know where this came from."
Effects Of Schizophrenia
"One of my best friends from childhood ended up with schizophrenia. I watched him turn from a killer musician loving friend and trend setter into a delusional paranoid that refused to take psych meds but self medicated with alcohol."
Former High School Friend
"An former high school friend with 80-85 ish % average in class, turned into a Hells Angels in his 20s or 30s, murdered people, then died by homicide. Those events took place a very long, long time ago."
People Can Change
"My father used to beat the crap out of me as a kid. My siblings too. Purely randomly he would come home late at night, completely sober, and beat the sh*t out of us because he felt like something had been done incorrectly. At about 40 years old he went out one day and bought a drift boat and started fishing. He hasn't been the same since. He is still boisterous and sometimes crosses lines verbally, but he is generally quick to apologize and has been learning ever since. I didn't realize people could change."
Life Change
"I went from an alcoholic, 0.22 gpa, academic probation, almost on death's door from overdosing a billion times on various drugs, in a dead end pizza job, no friends, living with my abusive parents...."
"to a sober soon-to-be university student with 3.25gpa STEM major, improving mental health, a fantastic boyfriend, and a place to call my own in six months from now."
"Life can get better."
Mama Chef
"My mom went from being a good cook to an absolute legend in her 50s. Like, I've eaten at some of the best restaurants in all of Europe and her food is still in my top 5."
Depression
"I was a hellion as a teenager. Didnt help that no one took my mental health issues seriously because I was 'just a teenager.' I got better, learned my own coping mechanisms, grew as a person, but I guess I never completely got over things at age 18, because the depression symptom-switched into an eating disorder."
"No one took my ED seriously either (I reached 80lbs at one point), but I have since self-recovered. I have lingering issues around food and I am very socially withdrawn, but relatively speaking, I am much better now. I'm physically healthy for the first time in my life, I no longer lash out at people (although I still struggle to give others the attention they deserve).
– ramune_0
What The Pandemic Did
"My mom. She went from your average stay-at home denim jacket wearing Canadian mother who loved coffee and Angel statues and would listen to upbeat optimistic songs like 'Walking on Sunshine' and 'Don't stop thinking about tomorrow' and turned into an alcoholic leather jacket hoarder that partied every day of the week and collected band and beer memorabilia and only ever listened to music about drinking, f'king and being on drugs when she met my step-dad when I was 11."
"Things went from her taking care of me and parenting me, to me having to grow up real fast so I could take care of her and parent myself."
"Oddly enough though the pandemic has turned her around again. Being in quarantine and not being able to have 20 people over every night has made her desire to drink flatline and also given her plenty of time to go through and clean out her house. I'm proud of her right now, but I'm also worried that she'll wind up reverting as soon as [the pandemic]'s over and she can see her 'friends' again. All I can do is hope that her progress will stick."
– Morosoro
But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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