People With Siblings Reveal Life Lessons An Only Child May Not Understand
The grass is always greener.
Only children want siblings. Siblings want to be only children. There is no winning.
But both sides come with lessons and lifestyles unknown to the other. And siblings seem to have a leg up on little things, here and there.
u/Pbackrider asked:
Children in multi-sibling households, what lessons did you learn that the only child might never get?
Here were some of those answers.
Win One To Lose One
When you're getting food in the middle of a show, carry the TV remote with you.
But you have to accept that you will lose the favored chair. No way around that one.
EDIT: Lots of comments about saving the chair. "quack quack seat back" and "fives". Ha, not in my fam, fam.
"quack quack seat back, I get the chair back"
Everyone: "OK"
Get back, someone in the chair.
"Mom, Dad, I called quack, quack"
"SHUT UP AND SOLVE IT YOURSELVES!!"
Unspoken Contracts
As the oldest child: because you get there first for everything, you may be punished more or less severely than your siblings for the same offense. This will piss off every other sibling.
Also there is an unspoken code of "if the parents weren't home when *object* broke, nobody saw it break." They'll try to prisoner's dilemma all of the kids. The more expensive and/or difficult to replace the object, the less any of the kids saw anything. Even if it could be proved that everyone was in the room when the item broke, nobody saw it happen. Why? Because this time you're covering for your sibling. Next time they will cover for you. It is a bond that will only be broken once, because if it does break the next time the kids are alone the snitch is gonna get it real good
Building The Bonds
Teamwork
I have a bunch of brothers. My dad early on would punish you if caught in the wrong, but if you were tattling you got double. So instead of telling on each other we worked together to stay out of trouble.
It made my mom mad when she demanded who did something. She would threaten to punish all of us if one of us didn't confess. We all maintained our silence and accepted mass punishment. Afterwards, me and my brothers would talk over how we got caught, what mistakes were made and how to avoid it in the future.
To this day we are all very close, and though we are all scattered around the world, we still talk 3-4 times a week.
Scheming Galore
How to act completely ignorant of what happened. "Where was your sister?" Mom asks. I say, "I don't know, I was asleep in my room the whole night." In reality, I was awake playing videogames with a walkie talkie keeping tabs on her the whole time and letting her know when I hear anything downstairs and I told her to come home when I heard our mom go to the bathroom, so she'd be in the yard when mom went looking.
The art of blackmail.
Comradery and having tons of time to hatch plans and build stuff.
Learning to deal with and enjoy people you don't choose to be around because you don't pick your siblings or their personalities.
Machiavelli Is Watching This Guy From Somewhere
Speaking as an older brother, you bully the younger ones to keep them in line. But you also protect them from other bullies because they're a valuable resource - they'll have your back if you have theirs. They can back you up in a fight, back your story up to the parents, take a share of the blame, and are pretty reliable if you need some minor thing taken care of. It's basically gang leadership 101 - managing your street level guys loyalty without letting them get ambitious enough to try to take you out.
Edit: and of course, you also protect them because you love them. Figured that was understood, forgot to add it. It's not all cold utilitarian logic. Just some.
I Just Wanted The Marbles, Man
It doesn't matter what YOU want to do!
So many only-child friends seemed to dictate the entire household. If kid wanted to go to the beach, they went to the beach. I didn't even get to pick whether I wanted McDonalds or Burger King for dinner- my mom was picking which one she wanted so she didn't have to listen to us bicker.
Also, if your younger brother eats random things, you aren't allowed to have marbles in the house. Doesn't matter that you're not some moron who eats inedible objects, your brother is a moron, so you suffer.
Bargaining Skills
Negotiation.
Nothing like rallying your siblings to your side when you have a common enemy (normally mom) and then negotiating the distribution of the result of your efforts.
Am the only girl and the baby. Set me up well for my career negotiating with angry dudes all the time.
Tommy...Michael...Gus...Whatever Your Name Is!
My parents couldn't keep the names straight between us, so I got called my sister's name, the dog's name, the neighbor's kids name...
They'd also combine our names so when they called us they were somewhat right all the time.
God bless, they're good parents though.
Edit: I love reading everyone's stories and am so glad we can share this experience together!!
How To Push But Not Push Away
How to argue without going for the jugular. I'm oldest of four and we could argue, scrap and wrestle without causing much damage no matter how angry we were.
Even now, we'll disagree but get over it immediately without being hurtful. You need that skill to survive in a family and indeed, the world. My ex was an only child without cousins and was horrified by fighting of any kind, but when he did get into it he was the nastiest, cruelest most vicious person.
He'd say some truly awful things without seeming to realise he'd have to live with these people or in that community after the dust settled. He never learned to play fight or about boundaries and was unable to understand our sons rough and tumble. He'd Wade into any kind of light-hearted, laughing wrestling and stamp it out. It took me forever to teach him that all children need to learn how to argue and even physically scrap in order to learn boundaries and respect for each other and themselves.
Whose Problem Is It Anyway?
When "You can hit me back!" is not effective, you have gone too far and actually owe an apology. Or you've created a manipulative psychopath, in which case you owe an apology to the world.
You actually won't know which it is for years.
Life is chuck full of annoyances.
Every day, in every way there is something or someone ready to set the rest of us off.
This is why we need meds, therapy, and chamomile tea.
When the simplest things can send you into a blind rage, you need a little relaxer.
But what is it about these small things that can cause such a stir?
I mean the world hasn't ended, but it feels like it.
Let's discuss...
Redditor ItzFlexyBoi wanted to discuss all of the things that drive us crazy, so they asked:
"What is a mildly inconvenient thing that annoys the hell out of you?"
I can't stand when business hours differ in person than what is listed online.
How does that happen?!
Get UP!
Dropping Michael Scott GIF by Prime Video UKGiphy"When I drop something small onto the floor and have to pick it up. I've completely turned into my father. I usually roll my eyes, sigh as I bend down to pick it up, and then growl angrily when it takes a couple of tries to actually pick it up."
JMCrown
I'm NOT Done!!
"When a motion sensor sink turns off before I’m done with it."
YourSecretSidepiece
"When I was little I hated the concept of taking a crap in the supermarket because I did one time and the automatic toilet flushed twice while sitting on it. Don’t get me wrong, automatic toilets are a great concept, reduce germ spread through touching a handle and whatnot, and they suck in execution."
"Update: used an auto toilet at a highway rest stop and it flushed while I was peeing in it. Damn."
Tra1nGuy
Wire Snap
"Getting wired earphones caught on a handle and having them ripped out of your head. I instantly rage."
CalvinSays
"This used to happen to my husband in our old house, mainly with pockets of pants. I never really understood how maddening this could be since I'm shorter and it didn't happen to me."
"We moved and now in our new place, this happens to me because the handles are at my pockets' height instead of his. I suddenly understand his past frustration at this small thing!"
spinozasnodgrass
Where is the HELP?
"Please remove the item from the basket, please add the item to the basket, and please wait for assistance."
Rollthembones1989
"What they do now also is there will be different bays with about 6 self-checkouts per bay. Instead of having one employee watching each bay checking IDs, helping out, etc, they will have one employee watching 20+ self-check-out machines frantically running from one person needing help to another."
Rollthembones1989
Trickles
Water Se Laver GIF by Benjamin SiksouGiphy"Washing your face in the bathroom sink and the water trickling down your arms towards your elbows."
AlgernonZX
Seriously. Why does water want to splash all over us, all of the time?
NOOOOO!!!!!
Angry Rooster Teeth GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"Charging your phone and sleeping then find out that it wasn’t charging overnight and it’s about to die."
Aquahert
"The wooooorst."
Milfshake23
Not Again
"Having to wait 3 extra seconds for YouTube ads every time I want to watch a 30-second video."
JoyIsDumb
"My biggest pet peeve is getting the same ads over and over again. Sometimes I have to close my eyes and mute the audio/look away because after seeing the same ad 100 times it feels like a torture technique out of a CIA manual."
DroidLord
"Even worse when it’s two 15-second unskippable ads."
Tra1nGuy
1 ITEM Issues!
"Leaving something in the other room and remembering I need it after I sit down."
Preszidenmt
"Sitting down and your drink/remote/phone etc... is just slightly out of reach so you have to stand up again."
Robinho311
"I do that with the grocery store. Driving home when I remember 1 item that I went for and forgot."
Famous_Bit_5119
"My husband can NEVER tell me everything he needs from downstairs at once. So I end up making 4 trips."
Rahallahan
Lane Chick
"Getting in the wrong (slowest) checkout line."
PongoWillHelpYou
"I ALWAYS get in the line where someone wants to pay in change, needs to cash a check, or doesn’t know how to use a card reader. Every. Time."
musteatpoptarts
"Nothing like stopping at a gas station on your way to work only to get stuck behind the guy who's buying 75 lottery tickets."
TaintedLye
"Or switching lanes and you end up in one that's even slower."
DeathSpiral321
MOVE!!
Giphy"Slow walkers and people who stop walking in the middle of a crowded area and don't move despite people being behind them. Head to a wall or seat and check your phone there, don't just stop walking in the middle of a crowd. FFS."
NeonSugarSorbet
Library Volume Please
"People who listen to things in public areas without headphones. PLEASE I do not want to hear whatever crappy TikTok you're watching."
starrfast
"My partner does this ALL THE TIME!!! We could be watching something together and she'll pull out her phone and start watching TikTok."
"And she doesn't seem to think it's rude. One time she did that and I paused what we were watching and said 'I didn't wanna interrupt.' Another time I changed it altogether since she wasn't interested."
"But if I glance at my phone once I'm 'on my phone a lot.'"
AnytimeInvitation
I approve of every item on this list.
But like I said, I'm easily annoyed.
Even if you weren't alive, chances are, you know about Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin being the first two people to ever walk on the moon. In fact, you may know someone who was alive when it happened and watched it on TV.
The fact is, an estimated 530 million people watched the moon landing on TV, and yet, some people still think its fake.
There is a conspiracy theory out there that says we faked the moon landing to convince the Russians that the United States had won the space race! It's crazy, strange, and most of all, stupid. The proof is in the pudding (or in the American flag Armstrong planted on the moon).
Redditors know of lots of stupid conspiracy theories, and they are only too eager to share!
It all started when Redditor willywonkerbonker asked:
"What is the stupidest conspiracy theory?"
Flat, Flatter, Flattest
"That the earth is flat"
"Edit: I have come to the conclusion that the earth is in fact the shape of a doughnut."
"Second edit: I have come to my second conclusion to the fact that mars is indeed a chocolate bar"
– CivilVolume
Tracker
"Microchip in vaccines. If the government wanted to spy on you, they could do it a thousand times easier by tapping your phone."
– Nikola_Turing
"Anybody with a smart phone voluntarily agreed to be tracked and followed 24/7 the moment they turned it on haha"
"lol people are so silly.."
– BeginningCap2333
It's A Bird, It's A Plane!
"That planes can't actually fly because the claimed weight of fuel cannot fit into the size of the tanks and even if it did, it would make the plane too heavy to fly."
– teefau
"If planes aren't flying... How do people fly in planes and get out the other side....."
– ftmtxyz
They've Already Won
"I'm from the UK and the theories about this alarm system the government are putting on the phones is wild."
– _Rare_Smoke_
"“They’re doing it to control us!!!” They’re the government. They govern you. They are the law makers. They already control you. They don’t need to make a big conspiracy to do that."
– Mushroomc0wz
6 Continents
"That Australia does not exist"
– germany_science_1
"They say that everyone in Australia are payed actors. If that’s true then where is my bloody check?!"
– Drunky_the_Snowman
"Still waiting on mine"
– willywonkerbonker
My Cat, My Choice
"A former friend and mentor called me up one day and said that she read somewhere that pets in America consume more meat than the entire country of France. And since raising livestock is bad for the environment, the article said liberals want all pets destroyed. That's why she lives in a red state and has so many guns, to protect her cats from the liberals. I asked her to send me that article but she never did."
– Squatchopotamus
"Pretty sure pets are loved by liberals and conservatives alike lol. At least, all the ppl I know in both sides have at least a goldfish."
– Jessiefrance89
Famous Clones
"That Avril Lavigne was replaced with a look alike, as if aging and plastic surgery aren’t things."
– babythrottlepop
"This has been going on since Paul McCartney was accused of being cloned. Look up the Paul Is Dead theory"
"After that it was Eminem"
"Now Avril"
"Soon will probably be Justin Beiber or Kid Laroi or something."
– Fun-Adhesiveness9219
True Freedom
"The idea that "walkable cities" is some NWO/WEF plot to "control" people and keep them confined to small areas."
"Walkable cities is how most cities, and even many suburbs and small towns, used to be. My mother grew up in South Boston in the 60s and 70s, and she points out how she had almost everything her family needed within a 5-10 walk of her house: grocery stores, delis, banks, pharmacies, corner stores, schools (two on her block and one across the street), liquor store, boutique, shoe store, toy store, post office, candy and ice cream, barbers and hairstylists, playgrounds and parks, bars and restaurants, repair shop, hardware store, a family doctor, a dentist, laundromat, coffee and donuts, and pizza."
"More was reachable by bike, the rest of Boston by public transportation, and her father and friends had cars to go elsewhere...they just didn't need to use their cars to go everywhere, because the basics were readily accessible to them. But sure, being wholly reliant on cars and having to shell over tens of thousands of dollars to auto makers and oil CEOs to spend time idling in traffic just for the basic necessities and daily services of life, that's Freedom™."
– Dahhhkness
"I lived for a year in the city centre of Munich, I had every type of shop and restaurant within walking distance, everything else was connected by a super cheap and reliable tram, bus and subway system. Parking was a premium and people with cars tended to only really use them to go out to the countryside or if they worked in a space outside the city slightly too far from a train station."
"It was expensive but nowhere near London levels for example. And not needing a car frees up a lot of income."
–Wind_Yer_Neck_In
Gone But Not Forgotten
"All the “dead celebrity is secretly alive” crap."
"2Pac and Biggie were both peppered with bullets with multiple witnesses and you think they faked it?"
"Michael Jackson, the biggest singles artist in modern music and arguably the most famous person alive at the time, is still going somewhere and left his family in mourning?"
"Don’t even get me started on the Elvis gang…"
– International_Ant217
Truly Real
"Thinking that "global warming" was just invented to raise taxes, or whatever. It is so massively stupid to think that all governments and serious scientists, scientific institutions, etc - worldwide - is in on some conspiracy, to what.. raise your taxes? They could do that anyway..."
"The flat earth, no moon landings, etc - that's all for people who simply aren't all that bright to begin with - but the fake global warming conspiracy is widely believed, and accepted in mainstream politics even. Doesn't get much more stupid than that."
– normalguy_AMA
"I love how global warming deniers think that climate scientists are all swimming in piles of research grant money like Scrooge McDuck, but fossil fuel CEOs are honest, salt-of-the-earth people whose only passion in life is making sure people have jobs."
– Dahhhkness
We Are Needed
"That vaccines are an intentional plot to kill people. This isn't a Marvel movie. We don't need to get rid of large segments of the population. The 1% need us alive, buying things, and providing the services they depend on, like cheeseburgers and trash removal and truck driving."
– notreallylucy
All Aboout Lizards
"The “meteor” that hit earth was actually a spaceship that the dinosaurs left on so they could avoid the ice age. They sent back lizard people to purposely control industries and warm up the earth back to the dinosaur’s ideal temperature. The lizard people are purposely trying to invoke nuclear wars to clear the landscape again for dinosaurs."
– Element202
Uh...Where Did This One Even Come From?
"Birds aren’t real. The US government systematically eradicated and replaced all birds with surveillance drones in the FIFTIES."
– w0lfn0ise
People don't actually believe that...do they?
Money makes the world go round.
It contributes to the betterment of society.
Well, that is what we're led to believe, right?
That is why so many of these big billion-dollar companies get fabulous tax breaks.
But sadly so many big-money jobs only help themselves.
In fact, a lot of fancy, money careers only focus on the green and not the people.
Redditor ThurnisHailey wanted to discuss the careers that leave little to help the world, so they asked:
"What high-paying jobs contribute very little to society/humanity?"
Anti-Robinhood
Real Estate Realtor GIF by South ParkGiphy"My sister makes a lot of money in real estate. She helps rich people get even richer."
Ieatalot2004
"To be fair, most jobs are helping rich people get richer."
nBrainwashed
Useless
"As a marketing manager, I can tell you I have one of the most useless jobs in the world."
erose994
"What do you actually do as a marketing manager? I'm just curious."
bertolintus
"Mostly wrangle the opinions of 8,000 people who all think a project should be executed differently and all feel like it needs to be done yesterday. And pass that project through a complicated and overly bureaucratic system of approvals until it inevitably stalls out in a VP's inbox, and you have to send them 3 reminder emails just to get it done."
"Other than that... Talking to agencies (at least where I work, we outsource our graphic design, social media, and advertising work to third parties), building annual strategies, planning social media and email content, and occasionally getting to do something fun like writing a blog post."
"Oh, and managing budgets. But it's budgeting season right now so that's a touchy subject."
erose994
Data Collection
"Some of the best-paid people are figuring out how to collect as much data about you as possible to show you the best adverts. Or how to shave off milliseconds off a trading decision and build better arbitrage strategies to buy and sell the same thing millions of times."
Weak_Commercial_7124
The Middle
"IT middle management. I always thought they did nothing, then I was promoted to one and now I can actually confirm it."
"Do nothing, contribute nothing. Worthless."
RedditWhileImWorking
"I honestly think middle management is all about what you make it. If you're motivated and WANT to make things happen for the better, I think you generally can, but it's also very easy as a middle manager to just maintain the status quo and literally do nothing but collect a paycheck."
TinaBelchersBF
Complicated
people love GIFGiphy"Hospital administration. Obviously, hospitals are important and are complicated systems that need proper management, but any doctor, nurse, etc. can tell you that hospital admins aren't exactly looking out for your health and safety."
dancingbanana123
It's sad to learn hospitals are a scam. Tragic.
Office Time
Staring Episode 2 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Administrators who spend a lot of time inside an office in calls or meetings but have very little to do with the hands-on work that actually advances stuff."
Ukhupa
Dirt
"I'm using a burner account. I'm a political strategy advisor which is code for opposition researcher. I work for a federal government party in my country. I research for gossip or dirt on our political opponents and feed stories to the media to disparage them and have us win elections. I feel all I do is make people more disenchanted with politics."
Clean-Elephant9363
Moochers
"During the pandemic, didn't you notice that the 'essential workers' were often paid minimum wage? Seems like the important jobs that actually keep everything running are not being paid much at all, most of the time. All the value of their labor is being sucked out of them by the wealthy moochers who just happen to own the company but never do any work."
Pipboypipboycheerio
Liars
dominic cooper preacher GIF by Amazon Prime Video UKGiphy"Megachurch preachers are evil AF."
MpVpRb
"The fleecing of gullible sheep is a story as old as humanity."
wittie2
Well, people certainly had some feeling about these career paths. What do you think? Do you have anything to add?
While we may not all want to admit it, most of us would really like to be remembered for something.
It might be something as simple as being remembered as an excellent friend or it might be something as big as winning the Nobel Prize.
No matter what it is we want to be remembered for, we all have a unique story to share, but only a select few will choose to share that story through writing a book.
Redditor Caseated_Omentum asked:
"If you were writing an autobiography, what would your opening sentence be?"
The Unreliable Narrator
"I am not a reliable narrator of my own life."
- profanearcane
"I wrote my autobiography a couple of years ago because I have bad memory issues… and this was pretty much my first line, as well."
- solargalaxy6
Good Start
"When I was born, I briefly held the record for being the youngest person alive. It was all downhill from there."
- peon47
Charles Dickens, Is That You?
"My birth was announced with notices in two English local newspapers: It was the Bicester Times, it was the Worcester Times."
- BobBobBobBobBobDave
In Hindsight
"Looking back, I realize that I brought it all upon myself."
- Keefer1970
Something Out of a Douglas Adams Novel
"…I saw a portal. The portal was called, 'Earth, the Suckiest of all Realms.'"
"There was a neon flashing arrow with the words, 'You will regret coming here.'"
"And I said, 'Well, what the f**k. How bad could it be?'"
"And so I entered…"
- Louise-the-Peas
The Big Disclaimer
"Do not under any circumstances attempt to replicate or reenact any experiences in this book."
- Spirited-Reaction257
"Put a big red DISCLAIMER on the front."
- NidzoKamikaza
"These stunts were not done by professionals or under the supervision of professionals. Please do not attempt to replicate or copy anything I recount in these texts."
- GuyNamedWhatever
Solo from the Beginning
"Neither of my parents showed up for my own birth."
- TheBoldHold
"'I was born an orphan' is actually possible and would be an epic, tragic way to start an autobiography."
- Arild11
Repressed Memories
"Most of what I remember didn't happen, and most of what I don't remember did."
- ElHoser
No Refunds
"You made a mistake buying this book."
"EDITED TO ADD: I know it's supposed to be the first sentence, but since you guys REALLY liked it, I’ll extend it a bit:"
"Seriously, you could have spent your money on anything else, yet you spent it on this. There is nothing interesting about my life. But oh well, there are no refunds, so you might as well just read it."
"This might be a fan favorite, or that one book you read a couple of pages of, then put in the drawer where it lies for the rest of eternity. But I got my money anyways so I don’t care. Good luck with the rest of your life, and good luck on maybe reading this book."
- Brotastic29
Very Meta
"In the beginning, [Anonymous] was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
- Cultural_Bison_6306
Run, Forest, Run!
"Despite what Forrest Gump said, life is not, in fact, like a box of chocolates."
"EDITED TO ADD the second sentence:"
"It is more like a box on Minesweeper: you pick a blue tile and you never know if you're safe or if your f**king brains are gonna be blown out."
- radioactiveteacup
So Unfair
"Just because my parents wanted to f**k back in 1964, I'm stuck here cleaning up everyone's f**k-ups."
- TrailerParkPrepper
"Your username seems intriguingly relevant."
- WillieFast
"Ask yourself this, is he a prepper living in a trailer park, or does he prep said trailer park?"
- nxnphatdaddy
"I want to read the book about a person who preps trailer parks."
- hp640us
What a Journey
"So I was chilling out in this super comfortable uterus when suddenly..."
- Viking_Hippie
"…I was evicted. My tenancy agreement wasn’t even up for two more weeks!"
- yoursextape
"Actually, I was supposed to have gotten out on my dad's birthday, but I was so precocious that I knew then and there that staying a couple of weeks longer was the better play."
- Viking_Hippie
"I mean, it was really nice. For nine months, I didn't have a single problem or care in the world. I had a private, heated swimming pool, could sleep whenever I wanted to for as long as I wanted to, and I could daydream for hours."
"I never felt hungry, cold, sad, worried, or bored. I was constantly waited on and didn't have to do menial work (like breathing on my own)."
"But in the end, the living space felt kind of cramped and I just went with the flow."
- karayna
Let's Be Real
"I am not the type of person who writes autobiographies, and if you're interesting you likely don't read many; I will endeavor to make this entertaining for both of us."
- Organic-Roof-8311
Multi-Genre Crossover
"This book may seem like a work of fiction; a horror story, a Shakespearean tragedy, a heartwarming tale of hope; but I assure you, everything within the confines of these pages actually happened. The good and the bad."
- Frostbyte525
While not everyone is destined to write a book, or more specifically an autobiography, there were certainly some interesting starts here that we'd love to see more of.
It's a great reminder that there are more of us out there who could write a good story if we only gave ourselves the time to do it.