Shirley Temples are the "We're getting crazy tonight!" drink of our youths.
With an overload of sugar and containing several pungent flavors as well as a neon red hue, we knew our night was about to go down with a Shirley Temple.
If only we'd had a service to rate our Shirley Temples back in the day....
Thankfully kids of today will be afforded that service and will never know the same hardship we did.
Meet six-year-old Kelly from Connecticut—your Shirley Temple King.
Kelly, besides being adorable, is a tough Shirley Temple critic.
His criteria include grenadine to ginger ale ratios and the amount of present maraschino cherries.
Each video is tagged with a number of cherries that rates the Shirley Temple out of ten.
Kelly's instagram picked up steam after a tweet featuring his review of a Shirley Temple at Longhorn Steakhouse went viral.
just found this instagram account that’s a kid who calls himself the Shirley Temple King and goes to restaurants an… https://t.co/2JItDbzbyS— Shay Spence (@Shay Spence)1580187981.0
How could people not immediately start adoring this Shirley Temple treasure?
@chezspence Omg he must be protected at all costs.— Babu Frik Stan Account (@Babu Frik Stan Account)1580188054.0
@chezspence Imagine being the bartender and seeing this small fry come in... And knowing what was about to happen 😰😰😰😰— Gillian (@Gillian)1580193781.0
@chezspence for now. he bout to get paiiiiid— christine teigen (@christine teigen)1580189101.0
Longhorn Steakhouse scored poorly due to their lack of cherries.
@chezspence Hey @LongHornSteaks !!! NO CHERRIES?🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒 I was a bartender at LH for 6 years and this NEVER would have… https://t.co/4yxzjHMzKH— Lavolo (@Lavolo)1580223620.0
But promised to make it up to the Shirley Temple King.
@TheCatKnowsAll @chezspence You better believe we made it up to the King 🍒 👑 👊— LongHorn Steakhouse (@LongHorn Steakhouse)1580226900.0
Whilst people continued to become fans of Kelly.
sorry i haven’t texted you back I’ve been busy watching the shirley temple king on instagram https://t.co/RMGHwBaoio— Chris (not Hemsworth) (@Chris (not Hemsworth))1580258705.0
Only 5 minutes into following the Shirley Temple king and already said aloud to myself “wow” when he rated one a 9.… https://t.co/pv5GIxNIyt— Seth (@Seth)1580198544.0
“Is that...the Shirley Temple King in our restaurant?” “Alright, just keep calm. You’ve made these plenty of times… https://t.co/H6r4asKxQv— RIP Kobe Bryant 🙏 (@RIP Kobe Bryant 🙏)1580237467.0
shirley temple king just cured my depression wow https://t.co/ajOftzgEZg— scarlet 🌺 (@scarlet 🌺)1580227474.0
not to be dramatic but I’d throw myself in front of a bus for the Shirley Temple King https://t.co/3Wk7Irm1T2— B. (@B.)1580266416.0
Kelly is most certainly not easily impressed.
The highest rated Shirley Temple on his channel was the one he made himself.
Take note purveyors of Shirley Temples!
I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT SHIRLEY TEMPLE KING!!!! he could literally be my kid....— Emily Lindsey (@Emily Lindsey)1580234857.0
Shirley Temple King, thank you for doing God’s work. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 https://t.co/8MjubBkNkg— Marissa (@Marissa)1580230373.0
I hope the Shirley Temple King is having a good day.— Carson Blake (@Carson Blake)1580340445.0
me watching every single shirley temple king video in the library rn https://t.co/9rGfMe6bb6— margaret thotcher (@margaret thotcher)1580250604.0
🗣I’D LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR SHIRLEY TEMPLE KING— kt (@kt)1580339230.0
According to the king, the ideal Shirley Temple contains "three to four ice cubes, glass cup, a whole can of ginger ale, just enough grenadine, three cherries and an extra-long straw."
After receiving over 123K followers in under 24 hours, he was blown away.
"Epic reviews to come," promises the King.
We are all sitting by our computers waiting.