We all tell the occasional tall tale.
Most people won't find out, right?
Now imagine coming up with a dumb lie that you somehow have to cover for.
But what if circumstance surprised you?
That's the inspiration behind Redditor Coldmelon56's decision to ask the online community:
"What is the dumbest lie you told that became true?"
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade, I didn't feel like running the mile in P.E. so I told the teacher I felt sick. She knew I was full of it but she let me go to the nurse anyway. I figured I'd just lie down for the period and get sent back to class. Nurse took my temperature and it read 102, so school policy stated I had to be sent home. Got the rest of the day off to lie in bed and watch Disney Channel.
"I told some people..."
I told some people at my college that my nickname was "Rockin' (FirstName)." They put it in the registry and a bunch of staff started calling me that when I checked in to events or whatever, and so soon everyone called me that.
I gave myself a nickname and it stuck.
"I was probably..."
I was probably about seven and on vacation with my family and they weren't paying any attention to me and constantly interrupting me. They were talking about someone they knew who had cows so in annoyance I point in an arbitrary direction and yell "hey a cow!" and they all go silent then I hear my dad say "oh my god your right" just as the skinniest cow emerges from behind some foliage.Giphy
At the end of 1st grade, for some reason I told my friends I was moving and wouldn't be back next year. (No idea what my reasoning was.)
Later that night a bunch of stuff went down with my (now ex) stepdad and my mom and I ended up moving states the next day.
"It was not cool."
I lied I was bit by a dog, to sound cool as a 6 year old when my parents asked me about an open wound, and got rabies shots. Couple months later, I really got bit by a dog. It was not cool.
"I was sitting..."
I told my 9th grade music teacher that I played the flute.
I was sitting in my first day of advanced music class, then I thought "I'm not gonna carry this big trombone around," so I said flute.
Then I had to buy one (parents weren't happy about the uninformed swap to a brand new instrument) but I stuck through it and not only did I pass the course with a good grade, I ended up playing flute in a marching band for a few years.
"When I was in reception..."
When I was in reception (or kindergarten for those not in the UK) I went around telling everyone that I was a hairdresser for some reason, specifically insisting that I cut and styled my own hair.. obviously no one believed me so I proceeded to cut my entire ponytail off from just behind the bobble- leaving me with a bald patch and a sort of horseshoe style gradient of hair length around it...
I used to work at Walmart and would always be the first choice to fill in for the cart pushers when they called out. One day when we had heavy rain, I wrapped my hand up with a bandage thing and told the managers that I injured my hand, so I could not push carts (of course the cart pushers were all "sick" on the day we had heavy rain).
45 minutes into my shift I actually injured my hand. Took like 2 weeks to heal.
"I had to write..."
I had to write a research paper, but obviously I hadn't finished it on time. So i just randomly generated some letters and numbers into a word document and sent it to the teacher. Even the school's IT guy told me that it was just bad luck and my file just got corrupted.
My father has glasses. I wanted glasses. Because I wanted glasses so bad, I started to pretend I couldn't see correctly. I would complain that I could never see the board correctly or when I read books the words seemed weird. I must have been extremely convincing because my mother eventually took me to the eye doctor. "Oh no" I thought. What happens when they find out I can actually see correctly? Well we go back and he takes a look behind my eyes with some medical voodoo (this was like 19 years ago) and he actually finds some weird spots back there. I then had to do the normal eye test and since I thought the jig was up, I actually tried. I failed. I left that day with a lense prescription and two years worth of eye drops.
tl;dr: Idiot younger me wanted glasses. Turns out I was seeing Minecraft graphics irl.
Not the dumbest, but quite silly and funny.
Several years ago we were in skype conference call with friends, and in the middle of conversation we suddenly heard some noises. I jokingly asked "[friend_name], did you fell off your chair?" and everyone laughed. Then we hear some more noises and a friend's muffled voice "guys wait a minute, I fell off my chair". Needless to say we laughed to stomach pain. We were around sixteen, huh. Good times.
"I'm not going to have sex..."
"I'm not going to have sex with anyone besides the person who I marry."
As it turns out, the man who I lost my virginity to is now my fiance.
"Suddenly, I was a hero..."
I used to lie about video games as a kid. Yeah, I was that kid.
But my best lie was about the secret world in Mario. I was desperate for attention, and I knew that being the keeper of secret Nintendo lore had a good shot at working, so I started fibbing and didn't stop until I'd backed myself into an unprovable corner.
I said that you had to go to the underground level and enter the pipe special, then you'd go to a whole new world, one that didn't even have the usual numbers or anything! And it was the only Mario level that was infinite, you could just play it forever and ever, just as much Mario as you could want.
At first, I was listened to (it sounds cool!) then I was vilified (an obvious lie) and then a kid came to school claiming he'd find my secret world.
I didn't believe him to start, because, obviously, I lied about it, I KNOW there's no secret level. But it turns out that if you jump into the pipe wall at the end of 1-2 while crouched, you can slide through the wall to the warp zone, and if you hop into a pipe before it loads, the game glitches and sends you to world -1. This is a water level that has no exit, and you swim forever, or at least until you run out of air and die.
Suddenly, I was a hero and the keeper of secret Nintendo lore, but thankfully I had a subscription to Nintendo Power by then, so all the secrets I told from then on were legit.
"In high school..."
In high school, my friend and I went door to door collecting money for a skate park. At least that is what we told the adults who we were collecting from - we actually used the money to buy beer. A few months later they started building a skate park...
"We had to do a project..."
This happend at the beginning of this year,
We had to do a project where we put 3 items (sometimes 4 if you really wanted to) that represented yourself in a bag
The introduction had to have a fun fact. My birthday is June 30th and my opening fact was that I have the same birthday as yandere dev, sailor Moon and my dog. Only the dog one was a lie.
Low and behold a month later my mother gets a new puppy for me and my brother (we named him max) who has the same birthday as me
"I ended up..."
I once told my mom i felt like i was gonna puke to get out of goin to the dentist... I ended up puking later that day. Guess thats my karma for lying.
"I told my friends..."
I told my friends I was in a long distance relationship with a girl I met in a random Instagram meme group chat who lived in a completely different country............we have been now in an official relationship for almost a year and I'm flying to see her in a month and I couldn't be happier.
"Told her that I could..."
We were required to learn the guitar for music class in high school and my high school crush told me she was having a hard time learning the instrument. Told her that I could bring my guitar to school the next week so I could help her. Problem is I don't own a guitar and I knew as much guitar as she probably did.
That Friday I used a large chunk of my savings to buy a guitar and used Saturday and Sunday to learn as much as I could. Only took breaks from practicing to go to the bathroom, eat, and shower. Things went fairly well with the impromptu lessons, partly because I learned a lot of those things recently so I knew exactly what to do to overcome the early stages of guitar playing. Never got to go out with my crush but I did end up with a skill I treasure and practice to this day.
"About 10 years back..."
I hate chocolate.
About 10 years back I started a new job, and some lady was offering around chocolates. I politely declined several times before having to insist I don't actually like chocolate so she would leave me alone. News quickly spread about the new guy that didn't like chocolate and now it's become the reality, nobody offers me chocolate any more or if they do they quickly retract, people make savoury stuff in the office now to cater for me. Thing is, I don't hate chocolate, I just didn't want any at that time...10 years later my colleagues have never seen me eat chocolate.
"In 5th grade..."
In 5th grade I told everyone that during summer I was gonna move to Hawaii. The plan was to get people to confess crushes to me or hatred towards me, things like that. Nobody confessed anything and now I live in Hawaii, lol.
"I didn't end up saying it out loud..."
I didn't end up saying it out loud but I do remember back in 2012, almost blurting out to a carpool filled with my principal and two best friends having a heated fight about gay marriage and adoption rights that I was gay.
None of them actually knew any LGBTQ+ people and I think I thought that if I made the stakes more personal that they'd stop making making it seem like gay people were sub-human or deformities of nature in their arguments (both for and against.)
I'd personally grown up in a really open house hold and my aunt and her girlfriend were a stable aspect of my childhood. I probably could've just mentioned them but somewhere in my dramatic 15 year old mind I felt like it wasn't a big enough bomb to drop on this car trip of horrors. Thus the almost shouting of "I'M GAY" at full volume from the back seat.
Looking back it's probably a good thing I held my tongue. I dealt with enough rumors about being a lesbian in my last few high school years, I didn't need to jump start that.
But the visceral and clear memory of thinking "What can I do to fix this" "I should shout 'I'm gay' as loud as I can" and "Oh what if I can't convince them I'm not actually gay, I mean I'm not gay, right? If they don't believe me that I'm not gay does that mean I am gay?" and then having a quite unnoticed Identity crisis in the backseat for the next hour as we drove home is burned into my brain.
I'm a happily, mostly out, bisexual/queer gal now but when I did not know that yet in high school, I was a late bloomer and trauma tends to muck things up. Thus I believe I credit that and a particularly enlightening driver's ed course the next summer as my realizing what all those years of confusing feelings might have meant.
"That I would..."
That I would have a dog by Christmas this year. My mom said impossible. So I secretly saved up money behind her back and my grandma loaned me 20$ so that I could have the full 150$ for my little guy. I came home and my mom practically s*** herself. So yea, here is some cuteness!
"In my sophomore year of high school..."
In my sophomore year of high school we had a mandatory history fair that we had to participate in. I hated my school because, for a nice neighborhood, they didn't give a f***. Pumped all the money into athletics and let academics suffer (thanks, American south!). For example, the textbook we were using that year for the history class was the same one I'd used in eighth grade in a different school in New Jersey, so I wasn't exactly smarter than anyone else, I'd just learned the material already and spent the rest of the time just reading other stuff to kill time in class.
But, given I could see how little the administration actually made an effort, I wanted to see how far I could push it. So I took the option of writing a paper which I COMPLETELY made up one Saturday morning while watching infomercials and generally not giving a damn. Granted, I hit the necessary page/word count, but completely falsified all my sources. They were all internet ones too, so all anyone would have had to do was type in one of the links and it would have been over, but I figured the worst thing that would happen was that it would drop me a letter grade and still pass the class.
Turns out, I took it to the limit. So, I go there to pick up my paper after it had been judged, expecting the whole time to get called out on it, because it's a county-wide affair with a bunch of schools participating and I figure SOMEONE has to call it out, but there's nothing.
Paper is an 'A' and I go away even more disillusioned than when I started the farce. That's not the end though. The next day over the school announcements they're recounting the history fair and my name gets called with a bunch of other people. It turns out that I had left too early the previous evening picking up my paper and missed the award I had won. Along with the others I had won The World History award. It even came with a plaque. So, thanks Florida public schools...
"It's such a weird coincidence..."
When I was a kid, I told my friend that I'd seen the Robin costume from Batman Forever in a magazine when I was on holiday abroad the week before. This was a lie, I have no idea why I told him this, but I did. 10 year old me thought this would make me cool I guess.
This was about a year or so before it was due to come out, so there hadn't been any shots of the costume or stills from the movie or anything.
Anyway, I described what it looked like to him, that it was like metallic version of the old suit.
I even drew a picture of the new 'R' symbol on his chest. He told me I was full of s***.
Anyway, about 6 months later, there's something in a movie magazine that showed the costume. It was just like I had described it. Even the R symbol looked like the drawing of it I had done.
It's such a weird coincidence that has always stuck with me.
I have two older sisters. Our mom was always pretty passive aggressive, so a lot of the time she'd say to me, "Promise me you'll never become a bratty teenage girl like your sisters." Obviously as a young kid I agreed even though I was aware that some day I'd be a teenager and probably act just as annoying.
Joke's on mom though, because I'm trans and she died before I became a teenager.
"I was at a dinner..."
I was at a dinner with a bunch of students for a college I was accepted into and wanted VERY badly to attend. While at the dinner everyone was bragging about all the universities they were accepted into and before I could even stop myself I blurted out a school that had rejected me in the first round of applicants. My mother looked at me and she was over joyed as both my father and her so desperately wanted me to go to that specific college as my tuition would be dirt cheap considering it's a top ranking uni. Not to mention I'd be in the same city as my parents.
To my dismay my mom immediately told my father about me being accepted. At the time he was working away from home. It was tough on us all because we deeply missed him and he felt very alone while he was away. He had told me he was proud (via FaceTime) and I hadn't seen him that happy in months. I felt so guilty for lying and I suddenly hated that I had even said anything. To distract myself I went scrolling through my emails to find in bold headlining "congratulations on your acceptance!" :) I was so happy that night I had cried. I actually ended up attending and I'm so happy that my lie came true.
"Every time someone asked me..."
This one requires a little background.
The first Presidential election I was old enough to vote in was 1992, and the main contenders were George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. I didn't like either one of them: Clinton was a sleaze and Bush had terrible domestic policy. So, what is a young man to do, in a state guaranteed to go for Bush? That's right...third party candidate, baby!
Ross Perot was making a lot of noise that year, and while my older brother was a Perot fan, I didn't like that guy. I voted for James Warren, the Socialist Workers Party candidate. For two reasons. First, a message to the big boys that we don't have to choose between the two major parties. And second, because it was a great joke!
Every time someone asked me about the election I could remind them that just the year before the Soviet Union had collapsed, which meant that they were a burgeoning democracy, and that in order to keep the Cold War going we would need to have one authoritarian superpower who ignored the will of the people and traded favors to keep the powerful in power and used their surveillance abilities against dissenters of the True Party. Might as well be us!
Some joke, huh?
"When I was little..."
When I was little I would make up facts instead of going through the "why" phase and try to figure out the world on my own. Ex: instead of "why is this slug yellow?" I would say "did you know that slugs are yellow to look like bananas?". I cant think of any off the top of my head I was right about but I'm sure there are quite a few with how often I did this.
"I wanted to make my teacher..."
In grade five my teacher put me in time out because she caught me crossing my eyes at a boy across the carpet. He had been doing it too so I was indignant that only I got in trouble.
I wanted to make my teacher feel badly so after my time out I told her that I had a medical condition that made my eyes cross involuntarily.
For the remainder of the school year and subsequently every time I saw her after that, I had to remember to periodically cross my eyes to keep up the lie.
It became so reflexive that I actually started wondering if I DID have a condition that made me cross my eyes involuntarily.
I didn't lose this habit until a year after I left her class.
Also, upon reflection she obviously knew I was lying and probably laughed at me whenever she saw me cross my eyes again.
"I removed a virus..."
I removed a virus from my friend's computer nearly a decade ago. My IT teacher heard and assumed that I was an all-knowing coder. I went along with it because I gained rep as the smart kid. Not knowing what coding entailed made it ever so difficult to keep up the facade, so I learned how to code in a very short period of time. Just enough to prove that I knew something. I realized quickly that I loved computers, coding, and just about anything that relates to it. I never planned on it, but computer science became a passion. I wake up in the morning to learn and I still, after all these years, forget to sleep when I'm coding.
"My family was having a Christmas party..."
My family was having a Christmas party but I had to work at a s****y retail store. I called in sick that day and said I had the flu or something. At the party I got wasted and the next morning I had to work at like 7 AM. I spent the entire shift throwing up lol I was so hungover. But I'll tell ya what, they definitely believed me.
"I now have..."
I'm said I was allergic to tobacco.
I now have an asthmatic relation to tobacco when i don't to most other forms of smoke.
I didn't when i said it, the smoke just made me uncomfortable.
"I was 7 years old..."
I was 7 years old and not getting enough attention at Thanksgiving dinner. I stood up and yelled to all the friends and family, "MOM IS PREGNANT!!" Apparently they weren't telling anyone at 2 months along... But I was right.
"When I was in middle school..."
When I was in middle school, I didn't want to go to school. Said I was sick. But I went. My school bus had a minor run in with a car. No big deal. When I got to school, the principal approached me and the other girl that was on the bus from our school and asked if we were ok. I started crying and told her that it was really scary and I was very upset by it. She sent both of us home via the bus. Best day off ever!
"After twenty minutes..."
A lame one: We were on our institute break, and someone brought a Clue game. We round up and start a game.
After twenty minutes I was bored and decided to get out (My plan was to just say a random culprit and leaving). Turned out my guess was the correct one and ended the game altogether.
"I dismissed it..."
Teacher called me into a classroom after school in 3rd grade and informed me I had gotten a 55 on a math test. I dismissed it asap, not wanting to deal with a confrontation, and left, when my parents asked what that was all about. Instantly the lie came out and I replied "I was moved up a level in math." Well s***, the parent teacher conferences, calls, meetings, came flooding in. They met with the principal, etc, etc, and I lost track from there, but all I know is that next year I was up a level and in another class with a different teacher. Yes, I passed barely passed elementary school math with C's, and ended up being grouped in with gifted kids all because I lied on instinct that I was special.
"I'm still not publicly out..."
When I was in my teens I would joke to my friends that I was just going to get a sex change that I was a guy just in way prettier packaging, and I spent a good long time as a man on Facebook because it let me swap my gender any time I wanted. I even 'married' my best friend on FB and was her husband for over a year so randoms would stop messaging her.
Turns out I'm a trans identity. Welp.
I'm still not publicly out but I flex my gender presentation online a lot. It feels nice when people refer to me as he/him, I just don't correct them anymore.
Back in the time of Walkmans, someone asked to borrow mine to play a cassette with disco on it. I said, "No my Walkman will only play heavy metal." They of course badgered me into lending it to them and when they put in the cassette and pushed play nothing happened. Put my cassette back in, played as normal, swapped again, no disco.
Lied myself into a f*cking magic Walkman.
Looking back I think his tape was over tensioned and my battery was low, so when he put in his cassette there was not enough torque to turn the cassette while mine was adequately low.
"I didn't have a lot of money..."
Was going on a weekend with friends but actually really didn't feel like it. I didn't have a lot of money and was just generally tired. I was already thinking of excuses not to go (should I say I'm sick? Should I pretend I hurt my foot?) when a car opened their door right in front of and I rammed against it, ripping open my foot from toe to heel. Couldn't go on the trip, also couldn't walk for two weeks. Still have a scar to remember this by.
As a kid, I liked referencing this one punchline of a joke that I don't even remember— "O I C U R M T" (read aloud & it's "oh I see, you are empty!").
I once randomly referenced it in the car with my sister driving and my mom in the passenger seat... because of me, they checked the gas and found it was close to empty. Oops?
Shortly after Super Smash Bros Brawl was released, I composed a short list of joke characters that would be appearing in the next Smash Bros game. My biggest joke from that list was "The Dog From Duck Hunt."
"I said I was..."
I said I was dyslectic because I just hated math, but I hated math because I couldn't understand it... because I am, in fact, dyslectic.
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The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.