When you're face-to-face with people's genitals all day long at work, the last thing you want to deal with when you get home is another crotch, amirite?
Honestly, I have no idea. I don't work with the junk in people's respective trunks in a professional capacity. I hang out online and talk about people being snarky.
For me, no, I'm not tired of it when I get home at night; but dealing in snarkitude isn't so much a job as it is my life's calling, sooo...
We don't know if that's the case with people who deal with a person's more intimate areas professionally. Does work come home with them? Are their sex lives changed?
Reddit user ObviouslyYTA asked:
There isn't anything overly graphic here, but it's definitely a "for mature audiences" kind of deal.
A Look AheadGiphy
I work with the elderly and I weirdly get this question a lot from friends. They want to know about giving showers etc. What I can tell you is that it's a job, you are being a professional and looking at the task at hand objectively.
Seeing someone naked in a professional setting is just completely different than being intimate with a partner. The only thing I guess is seeing an old woman's vagina and thinking dammit that is what mine will look like one day.
Some Personal Limits
Aside from seeing genitalia and doing urogenital examinations, there is also the aspect of prevention, diagnosis and treatment of STI's. The latter can certainly set some personal limits on your own sexual practices.
So most of these are saying no but I'm saying yes.
I'm currently working in gynecology. I have never seen any genitals or body part during work and thought of them in a sexual manner, however there are times when I am getting jiggy (to use the Latin) with my girlfriend in which I might have flashbacks to something earlier that day which is suddenly a turn off for me.
It's often when I have to do something non routine. For example during an operation the usual instrument used to move the uterus around (via the vagina) during key hole surgery wasn't working, so I had to basically stick my fingers in as far as they would go and move the uterus around with my hand, all the while it's got blood and discharge all around it and down my arm. To then go home 4 hours later and be face to face with my girlfriend's vagina you have to push certain things out your mind.
I'm sure after a while you get used to it but right now as I'm choosing specialties this is a factor for me.
Potential Significant Others
As other people have said, it never had an impact on my attraction/relationship with my SO because it's a totally different context.
I will say, though, that I scared away potential significant others because they were super not into the idea that I had to be in close contact/had seen a lot of male genitalia in a clinical setting. Which is weird to me, but whatever. And none of my male friends ever wanted to hear about my day at work haha.
I'm a 27 year-old male medical student and weeks from graduating. I've not had nearly the experience as doctors. During my gynecology rotation I saw many surgeries involving the vagina.
One thing that was eye opening was how wide a vagina can be opened to access the uterus. It made me realize no matter how big a man thinks his dick is. It ain't nothing compared to what a vagina can handle. So ego check out there for all guys.
With that being said; overall it hasn't affected my sex life at all. If you're in the field of medicine you're typically desensitized from things and don't really care much of the gross things with you.
People Who Work In Remote Places Share Creepiest Things They've Witnessed | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
ALL About Context
Urologist here. We do indeed compartmentalize. It's all about context. I see penises all day every day, but if I'm in the gym and I see a guy walk out of the shower with his member hanging out, I will still cringe and look away quickly. It's weird.
Regarding sex life, my job has had no impact at all. I was with my wife when I decided to go into this field. She's proud of me. If I was in the dating game and a girl asked me what kind of a doctor I was? I'd probably just say "I'm a kidney surgeon" or something generic like that. People don't go into urology to pick up chicks.
I used to body wax in Miami and I have seen more private parts than most people ever have in their lifetime! At first it was a little strange but it's amazing how desensitized you become.
I never thought I would be so nonchalant about telling people to take their clothes off and gett all up close and personal with their most intimate parts, but it made me realize there's really not much to fuss about... we are all human and while some of us are different it's really all mostly the same.
It didn't affect my sex life negatively but it did make me raise a few eyebrows from time to time. It certainly affected my views on sex and sexuality in general. Some people have amazing bodies that you'd never guess looked so good because they are modest dressers, other people who you think are quite attractive can sometimes have dirty habits. There were a few girls who had their waxes paid for bu sugar daddies which was interesting.
It really made me appreciate the amount of effort people go through to look and feel good. Some girls were so hairy and I know the waxing had to be incredibly painful. I had pregnant and breastfeeding moms sit through bikini waxes no problem. I waxed a few buttholes for gay dudes and an 80-year-old woman's nipples. EDIT: I forgot the guy whose back was so hairy it bled. Although most of our guests were women there were a handheld of men who go all out too which I have a lot of respect for!
There were gross times too... massive ingrowns, discharge, weird smells. People sometimes were a little too open about their sex lives. Thankfully no one was creepy with me.
I guess it made me appreciate my own body more. I'm not at all self conscious anymore about it, before I used to be a little shy and wonder if it was "normal" like a lot of girls. Also it confirmed for me that my sex life is pretty normal too. It was really empowering to see so many people of different shapes and sizes looking and feeling their best, that confidence was definitely something that would rub off on me and I'd take home to the bedroom.
As a urology nurse, I've had to get up close and personal with otherwise healthy men my own age. Yes, some of them have been attractive. It usually results in a blush on my part, a half-erection on their part, and then I never ever think about them again until a Reddit post sparks my memory. It's all professional and it stays in the professional part of my brain.
The only time my job crosses over into the bedroom is when I'm feeling silly and I try to find my boyfriends vas deferens. Then I scare him by talking about how a vasectomy is performed and whether or not I think I could successfully do one unassisted.
Scarring The Patient
As a main part off my job I put in catheters. It does not affect my own sexual life all all. But I think that some situations may have scarred a few patients despite my best efforts.
One story that stands or is from my newbie days. One patient, 25ish male needed a cath asap. I'm a kinda ok looking woman approx his age and that can bring some awkwardness for these patients. But I'm the one available, so no other choice. When you cath a male you have to give a numbing agent to minimize pain, this us in a gel you squirt in to the penis using a syringe with a nozzle. Then you have to firmly hold the gel in for 5-10 minutes.
So everything goes alright until we are, well... waiting. I hold the gel in and as usual pull a blanket over so he can feel mode covered. That's when he gets a woody. Poor guy is beet red, almost crying and starting out the window. Ten minutes is a looooong time in that situation, you can't just ignore it. And the gel is slippery even when using dressings to hold the penis. So I'm struggling to keep the grip, he is in pain from filled bladder and totally embarrassed. I try to use the normal line: "It happens all the time, don't worry" My hand slipped slightly and he is...twitching. He goes all "oh no no no" and well, gel and other stuff is trying to eject. That moment his girlfriend comes in because none bothered to stop her and I guess you don't knock when worried. So yeah, guy just had a orgasm, girlfriend comes in and I'm losing it. Trying not to laugh at the absurdity I just politely tell her that he is ok and that I need to finish the procedure, she can see him in a bit. Luckily he felt numb (hopefully all the way to the soul) even though the gel came out, so I just wiped him off and gave a bit more gel, got the cath in as quickly as I could, acting like it's normal business for me and get out of there.
I now tell this story to all males I'm gonna do a catch on, it really helps them but I feel sorry for the poor guy.
He did send flowers to the ward for his excellent care so maybe I just gave him a good memory, like to think so anyways.
After seeing over 100 vaginas as a medical student in my Ob/Gyn rotation, I've learned a lot! The biggest thing was how variable women's anatomy can be!
I know people's anatomy varies person by person, but I was not expecting the range of differences. For example, some vaginas are much deeper than others and difficult to find the cervix when performing a speculum exam for a pap smear. Others are very shallow.
Another aspect is the clitoris. I never had a precise idea where it was since I had never really spent a lot of time examining women's anatomy in a precise way like I did in medical school. They vary in size quite a bit among women. One of my patient's actually used to be a body builder and admittedly used steroids in her past and her clitoris was huge (medically termed clitoromegaly). I can also now find it pretty quickly whenever I'm with a romantic partner since pelvic exams give you a pretty good sense of the anatomy.
Above all, I'm very thankful to all of the patients who were nice enough to let a male medical student examine them in order to learn more about women's health.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.