Lawyers Share The Worst Ways They Have Seen People Screw Each Other Over In Court
Courts of law were not made for friendly interactions.
Being taken to court is awful. It's scary, it's taxing, it's expensive. And you're basically playing a giant game where only one person really knows all the rules and depending which side of the table you're on, you're being forced to play defense.
Good luck to you if you ever land in that situation.
u/thecptnswagg asked:
Here were some of the answers.
Trigger warnings: drugs, sexual assault, addiction, violence.
Non Credible
A witness for the plaintiff in a civil suit, who was a co-worker of the plaintiff testified very strongly against the company and in favor of the plaintiff. I questioned her about bias toward the plaintiff, if they knew each other well, were friends, etc. She said, no just friendly co-workers, "work friends" at best. I pinned her to it.
When I got a chance to cross-examine the plaintiff, she had no choice but to burn her witnesses credibility, because no only were they very close friends, but they had become sisters in law just a few years before. (no, they did not have the same last name or anything, but I had done my homework).
I still don't get why people want to fight small bias, by destroying their credibility, but ... it happens more than you'd think.
Law And Order
I had this one moment that is my favorite to share so excuse me if it is floating around reddit already.
I was litigating a custody dispute on behalf of the mother in an incredibly conservative jurisdiction. One of the most common ways to get custody was to allege sex or porn addiction because the threshold for it was basically non existent.
For this hearing however, we lucked out with the judge, who I knew from other cases. Opposing counsel tried to "gotcha!" Me into settling before the hearing by showing me surprise sexts between mom and her new boyfriend. This is, of course, not law and order and you can't introduce surprise evidence. So we go through with the hearing, I object to the sexts, but say I would allow them to be ready into the record, in their entirety.
So the uptight very conservative local attorney gets to spend the next twenty five minutes or so reading sexts in open court occasionally asking if she could gloss over parts but no, I didn't feel it would be appropriate. I'll never forget hearing her struggle with the word nipple. It's not even a dirty word!
But this was like the third hearing we had to amend custody because this guy felt his ex wife having a boyfriend meant she was a sex addict. They alleged the sexts happened while the kid was in Mom's custody. But they based that on the timestamp of the screenshots. The timestamp on the texts was clearly at a time when the kid was not even around and mom was safe to get freaky over the phone.
The judge had heard enough of this and awarded attorneys fees and put in the order, consistent with the vexatious litigant statute, that if dad would continue to be liable for her attorneys fees if he kept pushing this.
It was the only joy I got from practicing family law.
Things Of The Past
Too many criminal client situations to count of them screwing themselves over. One of the very few family law cases I handled as a young attorney sticks out to me though.
Young woman and Young man have Child. Young woman seeks divorce from young man because he enjoys the "thug life", he had recently been arrested and charged for possession w/ int to distribute meth (felony) and in possession of a firearm (unlawful carry). Young man doesn't like her leaving him. He hires a local big name top divorce atty (granted, very rural area). Gets temp divorce order entered saying she can not have overnight guests of the opposite sex (common in rural conservative areas, think it's mostly a thing of the past in more urban places).
Young woman starts seeing someone new. Young man is very upset about this. Has his fancy lawyer ask for a hearing accusing her of violating court order and seeking full custody, on top of atty fees. Young woman, on advice from a mutual friend, hires me for this hearing. I sit down with opposing counsel, and she basically tries to strong arm me w/ her experience and lays out egregious terms...mother must not only give up primary custody, but must have visitation with a supervisor and pay child support and atty fees. She knows I'm a new baby atty in town (fairly certain I had been licensed for less than a year). I balk and she says she'll see us in court.
I go into hearing with a copy of his probation arrangement on his Possession w/ Intent to sell & unlawful carry. He hasn't told his atty about this, and she is unaware. She calls him up establishes how my client had her new bf over on x,y,z nights. Judge is VERY conservative, not pleased.
Then, opposing counsel passes the witness. I ask him if he has a job. No. What do you do for money? Things here and there. Oh? Ms. opposing counsel is awfully expensive...Do you sell meth?","...What?", "Have you ever sold drugs to make ends meet?", "Uhhh no." Introduce a copy of his guilty plea and straight probation sentencing. Judge is now staring daggers at him. I lean over to my client sitting next to me, and whisper, "if you took a drug test today, be honest, would you be completely clean?" "Yes."
I ask the Young man, "When was the last time you did meth", atty objects, but Judge overrules...I know this judge will drug test people on the spot as he is also the misdemeanor drug court judge. "It's been years, I'm clean.", "So, if you were tested, you'd be clean?" "Yes." Opposing counsel asks the same of my client, we agree. Judge has them both tested. He tests positive for meth. My client is clean.
Judge denies his motion, and asks me to send in new temp orders where young man is required to maintain employment and start paying child support and places him on supervised visits.
Icing on the cake, opposing counsel actually calls me and leaves me a voicemail congratulating me on, and I quote, "handing her behind to her for the first time in a long time."
A Regular
Not my case, but my dad's. He was the equivalent of a Public Defender decades ago. There was this guy that would get caught for being drunk in public, public lewdness, etc. EVERY weekend. He seemed to draw the same judges and was pretty well known to everyone in the courthouse as an absolute lost cause. One of the "regular" judges had him appear in his court again. The judge is ready to give him a prison sentence because he was driving a car this time, but the guy starts crying that he finally got a job out of town and was trying to turn his life around. Judge tells him as long as he never makes a mistake "in my town again" he would just drop the charges.
Well sure as hell the guy shows up the following Monday. Same judge. Driving drunk AGAIN. My dad now has his case. The judge tells him he gave him his final chance, to which the guy sobs and replies "I was leaving town, your Honor. But my friends decided to throw me a going-away party." The judge was not amused. My dad had to do everything he could to not laugh.
Remorse To The Ground
This is my boss's story
They had a drunk-driver-kills-a-car-worth-of-people case at the time when they were a general practitioner. My boss was representing the family that got hit (one where the two kids and the wife had died, but the father had not) and wanted the college guy's drunk-driving skin to be mounted on a wall.
This was back before Facebook was commonly used in Court proceedings and before tons of people realized that it is too great for any attorney worth their weight in salt to pass up.
So, the kid (drunk driving college kid) had managed to get the judge's sympathy during the first part of the hearing by saying he was sorry, haunted, never going to drink again, this was going to ruin his life, etc. The judge seemed to really be eating it up.
Then comes my boss and immediately burns this kid's remorse to the ground by showing numerous Facebook statuses and photos of them binge drinking, partying, and even joking about driving drunk from the date of the accident up until a night ago. The kid looked like he was being forced to swallow hot coals and the judge was absolutely livid.
Needless to say, the kid had to do way more than just apologize and be remorseful after that.
Human Error
Someone I knew had a pro deo case where she had to defend a person who had been charged with a criminal offense (don't know what, confidential and whatnot).
Even though the police and DA could pretty much pinpoint the crime to her client, there was no evidence to tie him to the crime, circumstancial at best.
She had instructed him to shut up and let her do the talking during the trial, as from experience the client sometimes does not know how to answer a question properly. She pleads and can show that the court has nothing on her client, she feels that for once, a pro deo case is going her way.
After her plea, the judge thanks her for her plea and turns to her client. He asks if the client had something to add to the plea. Client looks at her, back at the judge, tears well up in his eyes and he blurts out: "I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again!"
She threw her notes and everything else she had in her hands at the client (now convict) apparently. She basically got screwed by her own client, who screwed himself even worse.
Taking Advantage
I'm currently representing a sweet old lady on a case. I'll be sparse in the details in case anyone figures out who I am.
Long story short, this lady's neighbour convinces her that her house is basically unsellable, that her house requires all sorts of repairs, the repairs to the house would bankrupt her, and that she should just sell the house. To him.
He shows up at her house the next day with documents to sign. She has no idea what's going on. Doesn't read anything (actually has an eye condition) and signs everything.
When she finally sees a lawyer to close the deal, he says wtf you can't do this. You see, the price of the transaction was about 36% of what the house is actually worth and there weren't any repairs that needed to be done that would justify the price. Not kidding, it was stuff like fixing a faucet in the bathroom.
Also she didn't understand that she would have nowhere to live afterwards. Old lady thought she could just stay in the house until she died.
To make matters worse, she's living off a modest pension and the other side is suing for the house. They're essentially trying to get her to cave because her legal fees are getting exorbitant.
I hate people.
No Time Like No Time At All
NAL but...
A friend kept meticulous records of how much time his estranged wife spent with their daughter. He used pink highlighter for Mom and blue highlighter for himself.
Mom sailed into arbitration demanding full custody and handsome child support and the house. Dad pulled out three years's worth of year long calendars. Mom had spent less than a full month with the child in three years.
Mom was not happy with the outcome.
Played Yourself
A wife filed for a restraining order because she wanted the house during divorce. Husband has good job, like 200k per year. Employer finds out about restraining order, husband is fired. He was very specialized employee so only job he can find close to to house, ex-wife, and daughter is 50k.
House gets foreclosed. Child support at less than $500 per month. Wife has to get job as waitress. Four cars get repossessed.
Time and dedication is critical to learning new skills.
Getting Stuff Done Around The Household
<p>How do other people get things done around the house? Like a human being? Not everyone had a Home Economics class made available to them in school, so some household skills got lost in the shuffle.</p>How Do They Make It Look So Easy On Cooking Shows?
<p>Getting all the components of a meal ready at the same time.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxx9n2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Spellflinger2019</a></p><p>Same. I recommend using the "keep warm" setting on your oven &/or slow cooker if you don't have a warming drawer on your oven.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goya81o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Delphavis</a></p><p>Gotta make sure you do all of the prep and measuring things out before starting to cook. Nothing like having to run into the pantry 10 minutes in to get something and throwing you off.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AlienatedAstronaut/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">AlienatedAstronaut</a></p>...So We Don't All Just Stuff It In A Drawer?
<p>Folding a fitted sheet</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxtwel?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Momonthecoast</a></p><p>Ok so here's the move. Stick ya hands in a corner, any two corners, bring em together, and just skdjgnskakzhe real fast in a circular motion. Condensed ball of sheet, more than acceptable.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxvk9s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">memetimeboiiii</a></p>Not Following This One...
<p>I still can't put on a bra without putting it on backwards to do the clasp. I'm incapable.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxgrmr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">BustyNat</a></p><p>Is this not how we all do it?</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goy9vka?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">8675309fromthebl0ck</a></p>Tripping Over Your Doing-Things-In-Front-Of-Other-People Feet
<p>Are other people around? Watching you? Judging you? Waiting for you to do something? </p><p>That's the worst, isn't it?<br></p>How Do Talk Good?
<p>How to socialize in groups of new people. I'm ok with socializing, just not in a setting where I don't know anyone.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxj6v9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Magnolia120</a></p>Me No Speaky That Good Linguistics?
<p>Talking to people. "Smalltalk."</p><p>I'm fine with people I already know, or have lots in common with, can talk for 10 hours a day about nothing. but when it comes to strangers?</p><p>what the hell is going on. why are you talking to me, what do you want. please just be direct. I don't want to play mind games. i don't want to guess what your intentions are. just tell me. how can i help you? drives me insane.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxb0pp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Spread-Smiles</a></p>Circle It Back, Keep It At A 45 Degree Angle, And You've Bumped The Curb
<p>Parallel parking. It's not that I can't do it, it's that I can't do it if <em>anybody else is around</em> (usually the case if you're parallel parking, in my experience).</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxevm2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">stfupcakes</a></p><p>I can't do it and I refuse to try if there is anything solid that I could hit in the vicinity...trash can, cone, other car, etc. Add an audience and it's a double nope.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goy6g31?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SaltyA--SnowQueen</a></p>Life Is Hard, Huh?
<p>Then there are those like skills that don't compute, no matter how much you try. Things that seem everyday simple for everyone else, yet, for some reason, your brain functions just don't match up to what you're trying to do.</p>Feel The Rhythm In Your Fee-And You're On The Floor
<p>Dancing. </p><p>My body just can't coordinate with my scumbag brain to be able to dance.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxh1lg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">ZiggerTheNaut</a></p><p>Same. It's awful. Sometimes when I'm alone I'll try to dance and just feel the music. It FEELS awkward and awful. I can't even imagine how it looks.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goybik0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Hazel4292</a></p>Just Put Your Hands On The Floor Nice And-Now You're On The Floor, Too
<p>F-cking cartwheels. </p><p>How did every girl at school know how to do them?! I was like, hell no. I'm gonna break my neck. That was when I was like seven. Now I am 30. Same stance.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goyc2ub?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">GorpQuest</a></p>Put Your Lips Together, And...
<p>I can't whistle.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxcasw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">Bandejita</a></p><p>Whisper the letter Q in English to yourself. Notice the whistly part of the letter, keep experimenting with how your lips are puckered at that moment and how you blow the air out. Keep doing that.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goyd4ib?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">sarabichat</a></p>And Here We Have The-OW!
<p>Detecting the presence of a coffee table without using my shin</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxvwxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Cantankerous_Won</a></p><p>Yeeeeeep. Add in super pale skin + anemia and you're left with perpetually black and blue shins. Hawt. 🤦🏼♀️</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goyadz5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">memetimeboiiii</a></p>How Awful...
<p>Being able to fall asleep during the day for a power nap. I just can't. My brain won't settle down.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goxqmks?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">AyakaNatsuki</a></p><p>If I'm going to nap it's a 3 hour process for me. My wife can power nap in 15 minutes, but it takes me that long just to go to sleep.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ltdfay/what_is_a_common_skill_you_just_cant_seem_to/goyjh4l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Frosti-Feet</a></p>Getting disowned by your family can either be absolutely devastating or a massive relief. Either way, usually it's to get rid of toxicity within a family structure, whether on purpose or an unintentional result of the situation.
Here are a few stories about being disowned by family members, from the side of the person who was disowned. Heads up, these might get a little ugly.
Now THAT’S a toxic family.
<p>I don't consider myself disowned, but I have been cut off from seeing my younger siblings. I've pretty much disowned certain family members myself.</p><p>My mother(50) has been abusing her position of EPOA for my Alzheimers addled Grandmother(80) via extortion, and unlike everybody else, I choose to hold her accountable for her actions, because her selfish actions lead to my nana nearly needing her feet amputated from having lack of medical care and attention.</p><p>I told everyone what she was doing and nothing happened. No one wants to prosecute her because apparently legal fees are more important than getting my grandmother justice.</p><p>So, essentially, I was 'disowned' for exposing her extortion.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Mumsacunt/" target="_blank">Mumsac*nt</a></p>At least there was a happy ending.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY3NC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NjQ0ODQ1NX0.50384xr_KZ6kXnpm2NPzxtQUNKoxaiuvdeefciyQ3bU/img.gif?width=980" id="6a14b" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1841f01792526bfa9519bd02ba86da10" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="360" />bart simpson whatever GIFGiphy<p>Mom saw that I'd worn some of her clothes while she was in another province for work. I came home to her screaming that I'd sold thousands of dollars of her clothing to my high school friends (we were so poor we had to steal food; nobody bought any clothes, nobody stole them either lol).</p><p>She then said she was going to destroy everything I owned, and in a panic I hid in my room and put the dresser against the door. She started throwing herself against it, and I was terrified to realize she was gonna get in. My lava lamp fell, I caught it, and threw it when she forced the door open. She screamed, I jumped out a window and ran barefoot to a friends house.</p><p>She called the police accusing me trying to murder her, I turned myself in and told the police that I did assault her and would accept any charges. They released me to my friends house and told my mom that they'd charge her with child abandonment if she kept pushing.</p><p>Her ex best friend drove four days to get me. She signed over the ownership papers and I've had an amazing dad ever since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Individual-Youth958/" target="_blank">Individual-Youth958</a></p>Talk about mommy issues.
<p>My mom decided when I was 13-14 that she didn't want to have kids anymore. Her and my dad divorced. So my dad moved out of the family house and my mom was newly single.</p><p>So she gets my sister out first by asking my sister to go away to stay with our dad for the weekend. When my sister came back, my mom had packed all her items in boxes and said, "find somewhere else to live." Sister was maybe 15. Her reasoning is she didn't like the crowd my sister was running with.</p><p>With me, I stuck around longer. I took more abuse and neglect. My mom didn't cook, or clean, or have food in the house. And despite getting child support, if I asked for shoes, or anything, "ask your father, don't ask me."</p><p>Despite not having food or money, she wouldn't give me the alarm code to the house, or a key. I could only come home if she was home. One day she agreed to drive my friends and I to the movies. Well she and I got into a small argument about something in the morning (I don't remember what) and I left and arrived home in the afternoon. She was home but wouldn't let me in. I was a 13-14 year old kid (before cell phones were that commonplace). Ringing the bell, peering in the windows. She wouldn't let me in. Finally, I found an open window and climbed through and she coldly looked at me and said, "you know, I could have you arrested for breaking into the house if I wanted to."</p>This mother is a monster.
<p>I was told by my mother that my general existence causes more problems than it solves, and I had two weeks to either leave or kill myself. She didn't care which I chose to do, but if I killed myself I needed to make it look like an accident or she couldn't collect on my life insurance. She decided this needed to happen because I'm disabled.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/alchemicals/" target="_blank">Alchemicals</a></p>Screw that mess, indeed.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTA2MjU0MX0.n131ClXLEFf7zJlsU81cnGvFDmY3hpXFsPud2V1_XxE/img.gif?width=980" id="e1c11" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5e6939807d6cc78a7e46681e1b29188a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Sad Murdoch Mysteries GIF by Ovation TVGiphy<p>My dad. It was mostly my decision because we used to do hard drugs when I was a kid. Growing up I thought it was normal until friends found out and told me they were worried about me. I first overdosed when I was 14 from drugs he gave me and let me just say it was all downhill from there. </p><p>I'm 13 years sober now but I kicked him out of my life around the same time. My dad still says horrible things about me and his whole family believes him... so I cut them all out. It's definitely for the better as I have created my own family with supportive friends. Screw that mess.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jessvszombies/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Jessvszombies</a></p>Very culty.
<p>I was a Jehovah's Witness, and I started asking the wrong questions.</p><p>There is now several hundred people that watched me grow up, the only social circle I was allowed to have, that must pretend I don't exist if they ever see me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/excusetheblood/" target="_blank">Excusetheblood</a><br></p>WTF to all of this.
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcwMDY5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODE2NzY4N30.jnPPGZOY8r2ocnAZwVQS3RG2rWB-8IJ4l2FsHKAraWQ/img.gif?width=980" id="668cd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="dea203429b9f16653755bcfac9e60e41" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="280" />britney spears GIFGiphy<p>Where do I start?</p><p>My mother and I have never gotten along. As a child she has been overly critical of me (Asian parent). Even when I was small I remember her telling my Dad "If she can't even cut in a straight line what can she even do?!". I was 5 when she said that. When she realized that I was not going to grow up like she did or have the interests she wanted me to have she grew more critical of me. She laid of a bit when my little sister came around and she favored her more. I always felt like I was never enough in her eyes. She only was affectionate during family get togethers, vacations or sometimes in public.</p><p>When I came out of the closet, she didn't believe me. She always said lightheartedly that she would love me no matter what but when push came to shove my bi-ness was just a phase. We then went to church for the next few months afterwards (I was catholic). When I hit depression in my teens each time she picked me up from therapy she always kept asking "When am I going to be ok" or hinting how much my sessions are while on anti-depressants. She then cheated on my dad when I was around 18. When I had my son, she came to be supportive after the birth but ended up critisizing how dirty my place was, my parenting and subtly hinted at calling CPS. Post partum hit hard and a failed suicide attempt ensued.</p>Good riddance.
<p>My biological father is an abusive alcoholic, but also super Christian? And super redneck conservative. He gave up his rights when I was 4, which my mom always told me was for the best. After I found out I was pregnant, he added me on social media and saw where I had shared some posts with pro-choice views. I guess it bothered him because he blocked me lol</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Emotional-Fruit/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Emotional-Fruit</a></p>We all have our vulnerable moments we try our best to keep hidden.
They say, "Never let see you sweat," but sometimes that is easier said than done.
Taking Others Down With Them
<p>Perhaps one of the biggest indicators of someone being insecure is the need to make others feel the same by pointing out their flaws. </p><p>Can people who do this sleep at night? </p>Hurtful Tactic
<p>"putting someone down in a group conversation to make themselves seem better."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosustp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">modernagehippie<br></a></p><p>"In my engineering class last semester I was basically put in a group to give a few solutions to a problem. I made a suggestion and one person in my group was like, 'wow that's a bad idea' and I basically just shut up for the rest of the thing. Then when all the groups presented their solutions, ofc they all had variations of my 'bad idea' and I internally face-palmed so F'ING hard. </p><p>And to clarify, yes the professor thought it was a great solution."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gotl1e3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The_Beast_Meister</a><br></p>Sharing In Others' Joys
<p>"The inability to be genuinely happy for others."</p><p>"If other people's success or happiness feels threatening or uncomfortable, that is usually due to insecurity. If you're confident, you can separate their life from yours, not compare and focus on your own lane and you can be happy for others for succeeding in theirs. Understanding that your value isn't diminished by the fortune of others."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gotktll?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">poozu</a><br></p>Bad Gossip
<p>"When somebody can't stop badmouthing others." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosl514?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">WhaChuLookingAt</a></p>Pitying The Unfortunate
<p>"Pointing out someone's flaws as a 'joke' or a way to look cool."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/goss636?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">hej__alle</a><br></p>A Pat On The Back
<p>Some people are not content in just knowing they have done well. </p><p>They need approval from others by listing their accomplishments to elicit a reaction. What they end up getting, however, is one big eye-roll.<br></p>Seeking Validation
<p>"Fishing for compliments. Nothing annoys me more." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosjtv0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">JohnWhoHasACat</a></p><p>"When my wife and I moved into our house I got approached by the neighbor across the street. He introduced himself, said he was retired from the military and said he makes a ton of money from disability. I think during our 10 minute or so conversation the topic of money was brought up at least 5 times and it all circled back to how well off he was. And then he started talking sh!t about the neighbor that lives next door to us."</p><p>"I could tell he really wanted people to be impressed and like him." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/got9ehx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Edge80</a><br></p>I'm So Incredibly Smart
<p>'People never shutting up about their IQ."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosd5rq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">advicemovingon</a><br></p>Intellectual Prefix
<p>A parent of a child I teach is in Mensa and she's convinced that means she can teach him better than us. '<em>I'm</em> in Mensa and <em>I</em> think-' is a prefix to everything she says when we try to put anything in place for him. Why should his less than 50% attendance be a problem? His mother's in Mensa! That means he'll learn more at home (never mind that he's 10 and can't count or read)."</p><p>– <strong></strong><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/got514y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MerylSquirrel</a><br></p>A Dose Of Sarcasm
<p>"Yeah, I have a distaste for that too. Fortunately i'm much more acute than a lot of other Homosapiens who just aren't as fortunate as I to develop such a well perceptive disposition. Inconceivable that such incomprehension could draw breath in this world but not surprising that I consider them so simple minded. I mean I am very apt so it's no surprise that they couldn't reach my level knowledge. Yeah honestly i'm even sometimes surprised by my own intelligence and learning ability."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosmbnh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Pleasantry_</a><br></p>Keeping Appearances
<p>There is nothing wrong with expressing gratitude for the good things happening in a person's life – whether it's a good job or a wonderful marriage.</p><p>But there should be a statute of limitations before it gets into bragging territory. <br></p>Look At Meee
<p>"Posting 15 times a day about your life on social media. Secure people don't need to seek validation for everything they do."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/goshwb8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">DeathSpiral321</a><br></p>Soul Mates
<p>"Constantly having to post how amazing your relationship is."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosg57f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">TopCod5724</a><br></p>Aftermath Of A Breakup
<p>"My sister in law does this, and then boom she broke up with who-ever-the-hell-cares and proceeds to post a bunch of those 'inspirational' quotes about how the most caring, soft hearted people get taken advantage of and then they turn into the coldest, hardest person you know."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/gosmh1u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">killerrqueeen</a><br></p>Feigning Busyness
<p>"Acting like you're so much busier than everyone else. I have a coworker who pretends to talk on the phone with people, always emails everybody at 10:00 pm to make it look like he's 'working late,' constantly complains about how much is on his plate, etc. He feels the need to constantly be validating his worth to everyone."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lsnlgi/what_screams_im_insecure/goscad3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">dick-nipples</a><br></p>Rules, rules, rules... we all need them yes, but some are just plain ridiculous. Of course life would be chaos without order, well more chaotic but let's not micro-manage every little thing. Of course every once and a while an unintentionally good surprise can spring from nonsense. Rule makers should really think long and hard before they implement anything severe. You never know when it's gonna bite you.
Redditor u/TabblespoonFarmer3 wanted to know how we could apply all "the rules" into our own lives by asking... People of Reddit, What stupid rule at your work/school backfired beautifully?