People Break Down The One Childish Thing They Still Do To This Day
Someone once said that you're not really "old" until you stop playing - stop making the little choices for joy and fun in your daily life.
Making that choice for little bits of silly is something people are starting to proudly embrace.
Reddit user RepresentativeFast97 asked:
"To all the adults. What is one childish thing you still do to this day?"
Cheers to the childish ones, may you stay forever young ... and forever laughing at fart jokes.
Farts Are FunnyPower Rangers Fart GIFGiphy
"I'm not sure if it's childish or just being a man, but I will never fail to laugh at a good fart joke."
"There was this one time, late at night before going to bed I was talking to my dad about some benign thing and for absolutely no reason he just let one rip."
"Opposite end of the room dead in the face while I'm talking, blasting and it straight up stun locked me."
"He wasn't even phased asked me 'What's wrong bud?' and I still laugh when thinking back on it."
"Run away from the darkness when I turn off lights"
"Run one all fours up the stairs while you're doing it to be faster"
"And jump on the bed when you turn the light switch off on the wall. That way, whatever is underneath can't grab your feet"
"When it rains heavily for a few days, our backyard walkway floods."
"I like to put on my rubber boots, my raincoat, grab an umbrella and stomp away in the puddles. I'm 65."
"You are my inspiration. Im 18 and hope I will never grow up."
X-Games in Aisle 3zach galifianakis dale GIF by BasketsFXGiphy
"I still stand on the back of the shopping cart and kick-scoot it like a scooter up and down the aisles while grocery shopping. I’m nearly 50 years old."
"I find Costco carts, while requiring more effort to get going, carry a lot of momentum."
"Aldi carts are notably in good shape due to getting returned so often."
"Giant Eagle carts are hit and miss, lots of wobble-wheels unfortunately."
That Food Was Bomb
"I still open the microwave before the bomb goes off."
"I never understood why I open the microwave at 1 sec left until now lol."
"I had a comfort blanket as a kid, sometimes the lining of a coat pocket feels just like it so I walk around rubbing it like a comfort blanket."
"32 and I don’t go anywhere in the house or overnight without my super adult comfort blanket"
"My mom is 48 and still sleeps with a baby blanket her parents got her"
"I drink chocolate milk at restaurants."
"When asked if I seriously just ordered chocolate milk, I respond with 'you’re god damned right I did.'"
"We had a buffet in our area that had chocolate milk."
"There were more adults than children who drank it."
"Chocolate milk is delicious and that's the glorious thing about being adults. We can drink as much of it as we damn well please."
Puppy LoveHappy Dog GIF by TikTokGiphy
"I'm a 53 year old man. I just went up to my dog laying on the couch and smooshed my face into her fur and said:"
" 'Shmoopy Smoopy Poopy? Are you a SHHHmoopy poo? Who made you so fluffy? Why you fluffy bum? YOU SO FLUFF BUM BUM SMOOGLY BOOGLY!' "
"...while my wife looked on an shook her head."
Rhyme And Reason
"36 here, and still sing the alphabet (when I need to, not just randomly) and sometimes say the rabbit rhyme when tying my shoes lol"
"I relate with the alphabet singing, and similarly I sing a rhyme in my head to remember which months have 30 days and which have ones have 31 days."
"I still do the "righty tighty, lefty loosey" thing when working with tools."
"Righty Tighty/Lefty Loosey is the best way!"
"I'm a medical professional on a HIGHLY specialized team working with very complicated equipment on a VERY sick child."
"Trouble shooting a difficult problem, I say out loud to a room of probably 7 specialists: 'Okay Guys, so righty tighty.... we're going to do A, B, and C thing to the right'. "
"No one questioned the righty tighty comment! Everyone gets it!"
"I indulge in my impulses."
"Wanna walk on that garden wall like it's a balance beam? Wanna take my shoes off? Want to sing loudly?"
"Restraint is something I learned for adulthood, then promptly discarded. It doesn't suit me."
"I too have ADHD"
Kids having all the fun is whack.
Reclaim childishness. It's good for you!
As for my confession - everything! Cartoons, coloring, dance breaks, little songs, toys and games, bubbles ... I'm not sure I ever outgrew any of those things.
I, too, have ADHD.
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People Share The Moment They Realized Their Friends Were Actually A-Holes
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking
mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
Managing expectations is key.
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRobShawn Spencer What GIFGiphy
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- RadkeyooAmy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamiait crowd chris odowd GIFGiphy
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcanMothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphy
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwohomer simpson love GIFGiphy
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.
As an editor, I am not just in charge of proofreading and correcting style and format. I am also in charge of making sure all the contact information provided, such as phone numbers and emails, work.
After working for 10 hours straight a few months ago, I forgot to check the phone numbers and let a brochure go to publication with a phone number that did not work.
Luckily, a similar mistake had actually happened before with another editor for another client a year prior, so contact info on print materials like this brochure were checked by every department rather than just editorial, and the mistake was caught.
Since I didn't know this, when I heard the phone number was wrong, my heart dropped to my stomach and I thought I was sure fired. Luckily, I was just told to make sure this never happens again. I was relived that there was no fallout, but when I first heard what happened, my only thought was. 'I totally f**ked up!'
Redditors are no strangers to this feeling, as they've made egregious mistakes themselves. They are only too eager to share their experiences.
It all started when Redditor Puzzled_Assistant_ asked:
"What was your "I f**ked up" moment?"
"I managed to destroy a $4k piece of test equipment by connecting the wrong leads. For the briefest of moments the screen showed an overvoltage warning... That's when I knew."
Let's Write It Off
"If it makes you feel better my husband bought a bit of software to test and forgot to cancel it. A year later and 70k he had to fess up to his boss. Luckily his boss said don't worry I'll spin it as efficiency savings..."
"He is usually a massive d*ck so I can only presume it saved his a*se too. There was a lot of anxiety in my house when my husband realises so very grateful for how it turned out."
"I threw away a cashier's check for $50,000. I didn't think it would be a big deal, didn't understand the difference between a cashier's check and a regular check. We had thrown the trash in the dumpster at work, so my dad and I went down around midnight and tore open all the garbage bags in the dumpster before we found it."
Five Second Rule?
"I worked in a commercial kitchen. I had just finished making and plating hundreds of deviled eggs. As I moved them into the walk -in, the cart wheels caught on the lip and sent ALL OF THEM straight on the floor."
"Edit. Forgot to mention, this was the first day with the new head chef"
"I was carrying a huge tray of Mac and cheese for dinner for 62 people (besides some salad the only dinner) and spilled all of it on the floor with everyone waiting in line watching me, plates in their hand waiting for food to arrive."
Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!
"Used to downhill skate pretty regularly, took my time and had some safe spots away from traffic. Took a tumble once and popped up on my feet but my right leg crumbled. Looked down and my right foot was doinked 90⁰ to the left. "I done f**ked up" was running through my head 100x every second for weeks"
"Almost happened to me, no helmet and smacked the pavement. Broke my skull but miraculously survived, 4 days bleeding out my ear in the hospital, 6 weeks of triple vision, years of recovery but I have very few ongoing issues. That was my “I f**ked up” moment, boy did I get lucky"
"Edit: since I’ve had several questions about the triple vision I’ll elaborate. I don’t understand why or how it worked but I was seeing 3 of everything. Neurologists told me my eyesight could go back to normal in a couple weeks, months, or maybe even a year. They said after a year if it hadn’t gone back to normal then it would most likely be permanent. It was lucky this happened when I was 19 because my brain was still developing so it was able to create new connections. If it had happened 10 years later then the damage certainly would have been permanent"
"My first marriage. First day of the honeymoon. We are at a nice sightseeing spot. I take a photo of him in front of a memorial. After taking the photo, I say: “Oh, I think I cut of your feet in that shot.” He throws a total fit about it. That’s when I realized, I f**ked up marrying him."
"I stuck it out eight years with him. I don’t take my promises lightly, so I tried to make things work one way or another. Eventually, I realized that ‘till death do us part’ could be some fifty or sixty years more of this and I filed for divorce. One of the better decisions in my life."
Take As Instructed
"I was a lead in a play for a theatre company, came down with an intense cough, decided to see a doctor, they prescribed me a cough suppressant, I figured if the recommended dose worked then more than the recommended dose would work even better. Drank half a bottle of DXM syrup two hours before going on stage and accidentally had an out of body experience in front of a full house. I was young, naive and very high. Director wasn’t too happy about it."
Follow The Recipe
"Let's go back to my first kitchen job. I was a prep cook for a bakery / coffee shop. One morning, I was making cinnamon rolls and following the recipe, or so I thought."
"I pull my first batch of 30 out of the oven, and the owner comes by for a taste. She takes one bite, spits it out? And asks me what my process was. I told her I doubled the recipe as she requested, so you know 14 TBSP of cinnamon. Problem!!!! That number I thought was a 7, was in fact a 1."
"This is only tangentially similar but when I was in like 8th grade I tried to treat my parents by making meatloaf. We were eating and they said it tasted weird and asked what I put in it. I listed off the ingredients including garlic, and they asked where I got the garlic. Well, from the shelf at the bottom of the pantry of course!"
"It was not garlic. It was tulip bulbs."
"That was the day I learned tulip bulbs can be poisonous if consumed 😀 we were all okay tho. Just me being a silly goose."
Time To Get Rid Of It
"I decided to scrape out old, stale brownies that had hardened to the pan with a knife."
"The thought flicked through my mind a fraction of a second before the knife slipped out of the pan and plunged into the center of my palm."
"Side note: after that, the knife was always darker where it had been inside my hand. Anyone know why?"
"Another side note: 5 years later, guy broke in my house and tried to kill me with that very same knife!"
"This was quite the rollercoaster read"
"This is like final destination! Get rid of that knife!!!"
"He escaped with it, so it’s no longer my burden to bear."
"I f**ked up. I locked myself in an empty jail."
"I was reviewing a jobsite at 5pm on a Friday, and I was the last guy there. My cell phone had just ran out of battery. It was a new county courthouse in the USA and it was nearly complete. I was checking door functionality, mechanical function only. The whole building had electric security on each door but it was turned off. I had a master keycard and an actual door key to override the door locks, just incase. At one point I mindlessly walked into a side chamber of the main courtroom. I realize it’s the detainee lobby. As I turn back I hear the door click shut. I tried the electric keycard that I had. It didn’t work because no electric 😤. I tried the regular key that I had, and the lock didn’t work properly. I tried again. Nothing. And again, nothing. And again a few more times. It still doesn’t work."
"I bang on the door and shout for help for a few minutes. It’s useless, no one’s there. I try the door lock a few more times. It doesn’t work. There is approximately 62 hours until anyone was supposed to be at the jobsite again."
"I f**ked up."
"I didn’t want to but I ended up kicking the door and after a few minutes it broke. It broke around the lock with the lock staying connected to the frame, 😆. Everyone laughed at me on Monday."
"Edit: the door between the detainee lobby and the courtroom was a heavy solid wood door and not as secure as the detainee cell doors. That’s because the policy was always to have a sheriff with the detainee when in that room."
"Step 1: go make lemonade in the 5 liter tank, it was summer and there were 6 of us in the house so we needed it"
"Step 2: the sugar and the salt are in two identical containers"
"Step 3: regret existing"
Such a simple (and rather common) mistake, but still one the most horrible!