People Share The Lies They've Told That've Had The Biggest Impacts On Others
Lies are routine. Aren't they? We all tell them at some point in life. We tell them by accident, to shield loved ones from pain or to cover our tracks. There are little white lies or "Little Big LIes," or lies that change the course of many people's journey. The outcome of a lie can be surprisingly effective in soooo many ways.
Redditor _LegendaryEdmonton inquired What lie that you told had the biggest impact on someone's else life? _What fibs people tell are hilarious, sad and extraordinary.
MATCHMAKER, MATCHMAKER MAKE ME A MATCH!!
Twelve years ago, I was talking to a girl at a bar. It became quickly clear that she bored the hell out of me. I happened to see an acquaintance out of the corner of my eye. I called him over and introduced him to "my really interesting new friend." Five years later they married. They remain happily married to this day.
MOVIN' ON UP!
Gave a fantastic reference for a former coworker, who was forced out of the company due to visa issues. Midway through the reference, I realized that they thought I had been his boss (his actual boss did not like him, and decided he was not worth the trouble on a visa)
He got the job and is doing very well at his new company, and he now has a work visa for the next 6 years.
WHAT ABOUT THE LOLLIPOP OWL?
Both of my kids, 25 and 16, think that I don't believe in owls.
It started as a little joke in my teens. I'd never seen an owl in the wild and the ones in movies and in ads were ALWAYS fake. Still today everything from car insurance, eye glasses and even colleges use fake owls to hawk their products. I just pretended to be indignant and refused to believe that true owls existed and that they were merely battery-filled mechanical toys.
My wife has a great sense of humor, so spreading the idea that dad didn't "believe" that owls are real was pretty easy.
Truthfully, think about it: They are as aerodynamic as a shoebox.
They turn their heads virtuall 360 degrees.
They move like a machine.
You never see them in the wild.
In zoos they just sit on a perch... usually near a power outlet.
Their vision is bionic
Their hearing is bionic.
They have that night vision thing.
They can keep their head still in a tornado.
Where are the legs?
You can see the batteries.
Why is every owl in movies or in ads fake?
BUY A THESAURUS....
When I was in grade 8, my little brother asked my what extrapolation meant, and I told him it was the act of defecating out a window and that in the olden days, it was standard practice for pilots as there were no facilities on wooden planes.
Didn't think anything of it until years later he came home furious. He was in high school math class and the question came up, so he raised his hand and proudly answered to the confusion of his peers. Whenever he got up to use the washroom for the rest of the year, people would tell him not to extrapolate.
I once spread a stupid rumour that a kid in secondary school had his front door stolen.
Turns out some kids thought it funnier if it was stolen. So at a party at his one weekend, they unscrewed the door from its hinges and took off with the door and left it in a field.
LET IT GO ....
When we were kids, i used to watch the animated Batman series with my little sister after school. One day I casually mentioned that I created Batman, and she got very excited. She told her first grade class at school the next day, and the teacher told her that wasn't true.
She didn't believe anything I told her for awhile. She's 30 now and I still get _"this isn't another I invented Batman thing, is it?" _when I tell her things.
TOO MUCH CHOLESTEROL ANYWAY...
I've told this story before, but as a kid I told my younger sister that the Easter bunny came through the drain. I thought she'd find it magical, like Santa.
She found it horrifying. We stopped having egg hunts.
SHE'S CHEAP ANYWAY... I MEAN, A QUATER?
My brother told my sister if the Tooth Fairy can't find your tooth she slits your throat. It was pretty traumatizing for her, I think my parents were away or something, so a relative watching us had to deal with that one.
LOVE ALWAYS FINDS A WAY....
Organized a party and invited a lot of people. My friend had been hanging out with a girl who was new in town, I invited her too.
He was, and still is, short, chubby, hairy, rarely the smartest in the room, but an unimaginably kind and nice human being. She was pretty and hanging out in a group where guys heavily outnumber girls, I though she was using him because he had a car, just to drive her around.
That day he asked me if I thought he had a chance if he made a move on her. Smelling the defeat already, I told him "absolutely dude." At least he would get rejected and be able to move on instead of orbiting her.
It worked though, and they are still together almost 8 years later...he still thanks me sometimes for helping him make up his mind...
In the mid 1980s my father convinced my mother that the St. Louis arch was a McDonalds advertisement, we were moving to St.Louis from the east coast. My mother told all her friends this. Pre internet. St. Louis was fly over country. She found out the truth after we moved and felt like an idiot. My father never let her live it down.
This isn't my lie, but my coworkers husband who suffered from what they thought was some type of dementia and MS.
Unfortunately, her husband developed severe memory issue at the age of 26 and died when he was 41. He was in and out of hospice, nursing homes and assisted living facilities. In one of the nursing homes, an elderly woman with severe dementia would not stop yelling,"Jesus! Is that you, Jesus?! Jesus, answer me! I know you're there!" She'd do this for hours every day for weeks.
Nobody in the nursing home could console her or get her to stop. Finally, my coworkers husband had had enough.
Woman: "Jesus!! Oh, Jesus answer me!"
Woman: long pause "is that you, Jesus?"
Him: "yes! I hear you. Now go to sleep and stop yelling! You're fine!"
The woman never yelled out again... it apparently took another dementia patient and my coworkers husband lying about being Jesus to solve the problem.
I SMELL A NEW TEEN ROM-COM.
There was this girl who went to my high school that was not very popular and was picked on a lot. There was a dance or something coming up, one of the ones that you get a big mum for your sweetheart for. Well, one of the ways that these kids decided to pick on her was to get her one of those mums as a "secret admirer" and send it to her, saying they'd reveal their identity to her at the thing. I overheard this in a class I had with one of these jacka**es.
I felt so mad and sorry for her that I showed up and I made myself that _"secret admirer" _and showed her a good date. F**k those people. She somehow found her confidence in life down the road, and ended up late blooming into a complete stunner. Maybe I contributed to that change in her outlook? I dunno. I'm happy for her and her husband.
THANK YOU. NO.... THANK YOU!
I was buddies with my next door neighbor. He was always complaining. About work. About girls. He died suddenly at 26. I met his dad when he came to clean out his apartment. Dad and I hung out, and I told him some fun stories about his son. Before we parted, he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said: _"tell me...was he happy?" _I looked him straight in the eye right back, smiled, and told a string of happy lies. _"Yes! He was excited about his latest work assignment! He was kicking ass playing squash at the gym! He had a crush on a new girl and was hopeful about her!" _He smiled sadly and quietly said _"Thank you."_ Best lie ever.
NOW WHOSE LAUGHING?
I told someone that I was in Foster Care with as a teen.......that I believed that she really could become a physician someday. This was a girl who many people regularly called a stupid idiot or worse. I told her that because I didn't want to be mean, not because I actually believed what I was saying.
18 years later, I found her on FB and found out that she is now an oncologist. We talked and she told me that once I told her that I really believed that she could become a doctor, she went balls to the wall and didn't stop until she got there. She says that I was the only person who encouraged her about this until she made it to college.
I think that was the best lie that I ever told.
KIDS ARE GULLIBLE...
I told my niece and newphew the only way to make the ceiling fan turn on was to hold your arms out and spin in a circle.
The fan itself is remote controlled, but the light turns on at the wall switch. Let's just say the remote is well hidden.
YOU THINK IT'S SHAME? IT'S FUEL!!
I'm pretty skinny, and I had just moved to a new school. A kid who was overweight told me he wished he was skinny. I told him I used to be fat and that I started running, exercising, and being more careful about what I ate, and lost a ton of weight. He looked like he hadn't heard that kind of encouragement before. I moved away shortly after. Saw him a few years later on social media and he lost the weight and looked great!
SHE SHOULD HAVE LOOKED IT UP...
It won't impact her until someone finally calls her out on it, but I told my sister that futons were invented by a native South American tribe called the Futoni, and she's been sharing this "fact" with everyone.
I'VE GONE DEAF!
About 5 years ago I was in the car with a friend. It had an old cassette player and a tape was stuck in it, so we just kept listening to hiphop beats and instrumentals. I asked him if he knew how to freestyle and he was shy at first, but when I started, it looked like he at least wanted to try it, too. It was by far the worst rapping I had heard before, but his girlfriend just broke up with him and I wanted to be nice, so I told him he was great and "has serious potential." I didn't think twice about it. A few days later he started sending me voice messages of "new tracks" he wrote and recorded. I saved them and changed the speed to 1,5. This way I could hear the lyrics in a minute without having to listen to anything else. We were friends after all. Weeks later I received more and more. Then I received messages from other friends, asking me why I am encouraging him to do this. Apparently I was not the only one he had sent the songs to. At some point he started to invite me to open mic events. Even his parents were there. There was no skill whatsoever, yet everyone kept listening to him, the same way you listen to a bunch of kids playing songs on the flute on christmas eve.
NEVER JUDGE A BOOK...
I started teaching a class and after the class finished, I was talking to my boss at the hall. One of my students came to say hello (I didn't even knew his name) and I jokingly said to my boss: "He's one of my most brilliant students, only good things await in his future." He looked a me and asked me if I really meant it, and I said "well, of course."
He became one of my best students, and even though he had average abilities, he put a lot of effort in learning and always had an optimistic outlook, even when he failed; and in the end, he ended up learning a lot and even got certified after finishing the course I was teaching.
The power was always within you, Franz.
"No, I'm not sure what happened."
Carrying my best friends secrets, why he chose to end his life, is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
It's always best to learn as much as you can about a place your visiting. Rules are constantly changing through every time zone.
When I visited London I was shocked and elated that I could drink on the streets. Just out of the bottle.
In America you'll be in handcuffs and in the drunk tank before you finish "Cheers!" That's why it's imperative to get acquainted with the American ways before you arrive. America can be strict.
Save the headache.
Redditor u/PosseaDaBoss wanted people to know about the in outs of being on American soil by asking:
In the United States, what should you never do?
God bless America, land that I love. But Lord don't cross her, she can be feisty. America does have a unique connection to rules and more often than not visitors find themselves in a culture shock. Which can be entertaining.
Money BackBribing Season 3 GIF by NETFLIXGiphy
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over. I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once. Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."
"I thought this was an obvious one, but my German exchange student would very casually walk on/through people's properties, even going so far as to walk up to their houses in the middle of the night. This is a huge no-no unless you need help, just casually walking around on people's properties would make them think you are looking to rob the place."
By the Rules
"Make the assumption that you know the law. Our local laws change drastically from state to state. If you buy weed for example, it may be illegal to drive ten miles west into another state."
"There is no "may" about it. Since marijuana is still illegal on the federal level, transporting any amount of THC, even medicinally marked packaging, is a felony. Transporting any controlled substance across state lines carries a minimum of 5 year sentence and a nice little trafficking badge on your record."
"Get into a fist fight. In some places that isn't a big deal. Here it has significant legal issues. And the other guy might be carrying and you could get shot. Just walk away."
Straight Faceschitts creek comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
"As a Canadian crossing the border to the US, don't act fun or funny with the border patrol. Give them your passports, tell them what you're doing and such. They're harda**es."
In others countries people can just meander through other people's backyards? Like... really? Ok. And yes, do not play games with any kind of law enforcement. They really have to sense of humor. Read on...
Pay Uphomer simpson episode 22 GIFGiphy
"Don't try to cheat the IRS. They will screw your life into oblivion."
"Usually you should never openly drink alcohol in a public space such as the right-of-way, a park, etc. It's illegal here and getting arrested will really harsh your buzz. Not that people don't get around this by using water jugs or other opaque containers, but it might be an unpleasant surprise if you're used to more liberal drinking laws."
From the USSR
"Assume personal space distance is the same as your country. Depends on where you come from, but Americans are stereotyped as being used to more personal space than some countries. Our Russian foreign exchange student was kinda weirded out by how far people stand apart at bus stops, etc, and was a little hurt after people scooched away from him on the bus, in class, etc because "Hey we are all friends here so lets be breathing the same air."
Twice the Size
"Don't misunderstand the massive scale of the country. You will not be able to visit Vegas, Disney World, and the Statue of Liberty in a single one week trip without taking several planes. The 48 contiguous United States is nearly twice the size of the EU, by area. It is freaking massive and a lot of it is really far apart. In some states, you can drive for 8+ hours and not leave the state. Like, we have states the size of some other countries."
YOU CAN DO THAT!!Pop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"You can't leave your baby unattended while shopping etc. like in some Scandinavian countries, you will get arrested."
It sounds like we may not be the most fun country to be wandering through. Don't get me wrong, I'm an American and I love it here but we need to loosen up a bit. Let's get crazy.
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Anyone who's ever listened to a true crime podcast can tell you, secondhand, that criminals aren't as smart as we might think.
what are your 'holy sh-t, this criminal is smart' moments?
You don't get into crime to make friends.
You also don't get into crime to learn things. Mostly, you're just hoping that whatever you're about to try next to escape the system works out and no one happens to be looking your direction.
Thanks, Weather! We Appreciate It!
"A bank in my hometown was robbed by a group of individuals during a historic snowstorm. we got ~12ft in two days, and early in the storm the bank was still open. Couple people just walked in masked with guns, robbed the place and escaped on foot. Police response time was about 45 mins at best, and by the time they arrived on scene the tracks were gone. Longshot, but pure genius."
Cashing In A Different Kind Of Monetary System
"I was an assistant manager at a little deli/corner store for a few years and one of the employees bragged that he was getting a bag of weed a week from the store for free... Not to me but to other employees."
"I couldn't figure out how... the numbers always matched up. He was also really sucessful with one of our couponing programs.... It took me a while to figure out that our POS system would take the coupon without the upc being scanned... In otherwords... the coupons were esentially cash. He was cashing out ~$80 a week in coupons. The kid was pretty smart... I only found out when I was doing rhe inventory and the books the same week... I saw that we sold a ton of icecream... and thought geeze I am gonna have to restock the crap outta that... then realized that it was fully stocked and put 2 and 2 together."
Doing crime is really creating an infraction against the system we've built as a society. These "laws" are imaginary rules we assign value, and give credence, to so much so that when someone does something to break them we lose our minds.
Even when it's not that big of a deal.
Just Opening The Door Wrong
"A very clever criminal was stealing electricity for his nightclub in Liverpool, the power company knew something was happening because as soon as this guy took over their usage was about a quarter of the previous owner."
"They finally sent an old guy out to check the meter for problems. He discovered that they'd fitted a pressure switch on the door so that when it was opened the meter turned as normal, but as soon as you closes it the meter would stop turning."
"Two years they'd been investigating before he was caught out."
And You Almost Got Away With It
"Ex-Security Guard here. One of the many town drunks goes into a supermarket in Tonbridge, Kent (UK). Fills basket with 8 bottles of wine. Goes to toilets. Drinks all 8 bottles. Staggers out. He still gets arrested for theft but we had to admire his ingenuity!"
I Wasn't There. See?
"I'm a Police Officer. The smartest thing I see people who've been alleged to have committed a crime do is to have recorded what they were doing so they can prove their innocence."
And then there's these guys, who might actually be literal geniuses when the day is done.
Cutting Off The World's Connection
"Guy found out that when a gas station lost it's satellite connection, it automatically accepted all credit cards, and would presumably process them later. So, he climbed on the roof and covered the dish with foil to force it to lose connection then made charges on a card that was cancelled."
Crime! 30,000 Feet In The Air!
"In the 2000's you could order a new credit card, not activate it, and then when you were on a long haul flight you could upgrade via the card machine to first class once onboard and then pay for the premium service and when the flight landed and got internet connection none of the purchases would be successful and you would already be out of the airport."
"I never understood how they couldn't find you afterwards with your passport and credit card details but it was a big fraudulent scam that hit the newspapers multiple times. Maybe because apart from witness testimonies there wasn't a sufficient paper trail to say that you were upgraded or had any of the expensive champagne or duty free."
A Little Electric Play
"My dad is an attorney and had two clients: one who had an old huge Chevy Nova with a very well hidden switch under the dash. He would flip the switch and the brake lights off, then go in front of someone and hit the brakes."
"Won several claims from insurance companies."
"The second one was flying into small international airports carrying normal checked bags. Flew in from Canada every time, small puddle jumpers."
"Turns out what he was actually doing was smuggling immense amounts of cocaine. He refused to say a word to cops or in his own trial. Just pled out, and went to jail. My dad gets a single check to pay for his service of sitting and doing the plea deal. About half of his normal yearly earnings."
"Turns out the guy was s
nmuggling for Pablo Escobar, and would have been killed if he talked."
Truly Abhorrent Behavior
"A few years back my elderly neighbors home robbed. Her husband had just passed away and the obituary was in the paper with showing times and time the burial ceremony was to start. These low life's looked up her husband's address in the phone book and knew exactly what time their house would be un occupied. They took absolutely everything of value from this lady on the day she was putting her husband in the ground. And they never caught them."
Crime doesn't pay.
Until it does.
When you have the cleverness, and ingenuity, as some of these people? Then maybe crime might pay a bit.
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People who talk smack about others are often viewed as rude individuals.
But sometimes, they are taking the hit for not exercising tact. The truth is, they might be verbalizing about a situation we have secretly thought about but keep to themselves.
When it comes to reserving judgment about people and their situations, many of us can relate to this. It is what separates us from those who aren't able to keep their observations to themselves.
"What's something you secretly judge people about?"
People seeking validation in excess on the internet are met with criticism.
Social Media Portrayal
"What part of their life are they posting on social media."
"My husband has a friend who has a psycho girlfriend that posts really personal sh*t online. Like, she sent her boyfriend some racy photos and he didn't 'react like he should have' so she shared them online with a comment about how she thought the photos were sexy and he must not find her attractive anymore. I was embarrassed for her. She also likes to make up stories about him hitting her then update a few hours later that she's sorry and she lied and he didn't hit her. And these people are in their 30s with children and still acting like that."
"What they say about their kids in social media. I get that being a parent is hard and it's okay to talk/vent/be real about that online, but sometimes people cross the line and talk about their kids as if they're not real people, just because they're not grown and don't have a Facebook account. People should imagine what their kids would think of they were all grown up and reading your internet history. If you think they would be hurt by what you said, don't post it."
Headphones are there for a reason. But these offenders are not considerate enough to use them.
"People who use speaker phone for music or conversations in public places. I hate it."
"My roommate uses speaker at all times. We'll be watching TV and he will literally answer the phone and talk on speaker. One time had the audacity to say me and this other guy wouldn't stop talking and he couldn't hear his gf. Same with music too, he'll play some some music in the middle of whatever I'm watching. Annoying as all f'k."
"My old roommate would use speaker to talk to her family at college so I joined the conversation the entire time, she constantly told me to 'shut the f'k up' in front of her mom, so I said 'then dont use speaker dumba**.'"
Views from entitled people might say the following:
"How they treat janitors/custodial staff and whether people leave more of a mess than they should because 'it's their job to clean up after me.'"
"How snobbish another person reacts to someone else's situation. I. E. When someone finds out information about another persons wage, job, family situation, living situation, etc etc etc, and making a comment on it."
Do you ever feel like your ears are burning? Yeah, it's probably because of people like these:
"People that gossip to me about other people. I always wonder what they say about me behind my back."
"One of my favorite office tricks is to gossip relentlessly, but to keep it at least 90% positive. People can and do find out that I've been going around, behind their backs, and spreading rumors about how great they are."
"Obviously it creates a nice work environment, but by being willing to gossip, people are more willing to tell me things that aren't necessarily public yet."
What annoys me about the things people do have more to do with my growing impatience after having lived in New York City for over a decade.
Customers in fast food joints not knowing what to order after being in line for a sufficient amount of time grates me.
The increasing convenience of mobile ordering has been the best thing to come out of the pandemic that has kept me from losing my marbles.
Wherever we go, there are social norms and expectations being jammed down our throats.
The people around us, all exposed to similar media messages and massive, powerful institutions, internalize these norms and police each other without even realizing it.
These constructs are so plentiful and subtle that they can be hard to even notice.
But once in awhile we take a step back. We zoom out. Then we see just how arbitrary and one-dimensional so many of those norms are.
Those epiphanies can be disorienting, but so empowering, too. A recent thread on Reddit asked people to share their biggest gripes about all the things forced on us.
Redditor Snoo79382 asked:
"What should society stop forcing on us?"
The internet, as it has many facets of modern life, has accelerated the rate at which things are jammed down our throats. Not a day goes by that we're not on the hook for one thing or another.
"Subscription based services. Everybody out here wants your money now on a monthly schedule."
"The need to create an account for EVERY website or software. Wtf, I just want to install my graphics drivers! There's no reason for you to know who I am, you already have many thousands of my monies."
Others discussed work and work culture. It's such a large portion of our lives, and, according to these folks, the whole thing can be handled better.
Resist the Urge to Monetize
"The idea of hobbies becoming 'side hustles.' Why can't a hobby just be a hobby" -- Electrical-Mammoth44
"Like my father always said: Don't turn your hobby into your work, because you'll have to find a new hobby." -- JustAGuy401
"Having to constantly be busy and only have 2 days to recover from it." -- Octo-Fishy
"I find the whole 5 days a week on, 2 off thing pretty infuriating. I work a 9-5 and would easily be done everything in way less time but I am required to drag it out for no reason." -- condor1111800
Passing the Buck
"Donating your vacation time to coworkers because the company you work for is shi**y. There was a natural disaster and one of the stores in the chain I worked for got flooded."
"Instead of just giving people time off because they literally couldn't work they asked everyone to give up the few paid days off we got a year. Most of us got less than a week off a year."
And others talked about the social expectations pushed on us by our friends, family members, acquaintances, and everything in between.
Aren't There Plenty Already?
"Well no one is forcing anyone, but everyone assumes you want from have kids. And if you don't everyone has a lot of questions and they start judging and trying to change your mind."
Take Your Time
"The idea that people should have their sh*t together and their life planned out at the age of 20. I'm 19 and still wanna play my pokemon games and the future scares me :')"
"The belief that you HAVE to date, have sex, and get married. Some of us don't want to do any of that and there's nothing wrong with it. I'm sick of the social pressure to date."
Racing Against Fantasy
"There should be laws about how heavily photoshopped pictures are meant to be to sell anything beauty related."
"Being constantly surrounded by images of perfection is seriously damaging to people's mental health, and the implication that a product will make you look Like This is simply false advertising when the model doesn't actually look Like This and has been heavily airbrushed at the very least."
And so, taking a cue from these Redditors, it's a good time to remember that we don't have to cave to any of this stuff if we don't want to.
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